


Love... But What If?

by Kassykins



Series: Love? It's complicated [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A Little Death, Forced Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Kidnapping, More tags to be added, Multi, Romance, Series of One Shots, Yandere Blue, any NSFW content will contain warnings, each chapter is self contained, ratings will change depending on content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2020-12-24 04:21:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 94,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kassykins/pseuds/Kassykins
Summary: What if Edge had been the one to fall in love instead of Red? What would have happened if Sugar hadn't come to the rescue on the wedding day? What if Axe and Sugar had been a bit more competitive with their affections? What if Rus' attentions hadn't been quite so platonic? What if BB wasn't happy just being friends with Reckless?A series of 'what if?' scenario's set in the Love? It's Complicated series. All completely 'non canon', so while reading the originals is highly recommended, it's not completely necessary.Got a 'what if?' that's been keeping you awake at night? Submit it in the comments!





	1. What If Edge Had Fallen in Love Instead?

**Author's Note:**

> The summary says it all. It's fun to mess around with canon - fanfiction wouldn't exist otherwise! And elseworld stories are a great way to get the creative juices flowing.
> 
> How long any of the chapters will be will depend on the content, and updates will depend on if and when I come up with new ideas.
> 
> Tons of comments on the original series came up with angles and ideas I never even thought of, so I know I've got a creative bunch of readers! If you have a 'what if?' that you want to see, or even if you want to write your own chapter, let me know in the comments!

"I swear I took my eyes off her for three seconds!"

"Apologise later!"

You sprinted through the streets in your pyjamas and bare feet, Anna struggling to keep up as you hunted for the little purple monster, checking behind cars and bushes, over fences, under doorways, anywhere a three year old could hide.

"SUZY!" Anna called into the street, rising panic clear in her voice "Suzy, where are you? We're not mad, we promise!"

You came to a stop at the crossroads - in one direction was the playpark, and in the other was Suzy's playgroup.

"You head to the school." you ordered Anna "I'll check out the park."

Your little sister nodded seriously, clutching her phone as she darted off. You took off in the other direction, keeping your ears peeled for the sound of roaring and your eyes for any flashes of purple. 

God damn, toddlers were fast! Your foster mother and Nana were searching the house, making sure she wasn't just sleeping under a table or something, but a fearless kid like Suzy would definitely have bolted out of the door Anna left open when she went to get the post. As you reached the playpark, you furiously scanned the equipment, eyes casting over the empty grass of the sports field. Had you been wrong?

If someone else found Suzy before you...

"RAWR!"

You spun around at the noise - Suzy! That little brat! She was currently terrorising a cat, chasing it as it ran away from her. Right into the bloody road!

"SUZY!"

You sprinted after her faster than you had ever ran before, but no human could compete with the speed of a car. Before you could even blink, one had appeared, rocketing down the road towards the unaware little girl. You couldn't physically be any faster, but it still wasn't enough, the car shooting past without even slowing down.

Your breath caught. Your heart stopped beating. The car hadn't even slowed down... 

A giggle caught your attention, causing you to look up. Suzy was doing cartwheels in the air, surrounded by a blue glow a good eight feet off the ground.

The car hadn't come anywhere near her.

THANK FUCK. 

As your heart started beating again, you looked around, spying the monster responsible for her levitation still two hundred yards down the street, palm desperately outstretched and eye sockets wide.

"Edge, you fucking marvel!" you yelled at him.

Even from here, you could see the smile that cracked on his face. His demeanour changed entirely, becoming more confident and cocky as he approached.

"Looking for this?" he asked when he was close enough, floating Suzy back down to you.

"I swear, I could kiss you, you have no idea." you told him, turning to a still flailing Suzy to figure out how you were going to get her home with the least amount of fuss.

Edge cleared his throat, causing you to look back at him. He had leaned right down so your faces were level, and was pointing at his boney cheek. Did... did he really want a kiss?

"Seriously?" you asked.

He just nodded, red eyes locked on you.

You hadn't known the skeleton for very long - he had only showed up at cafe for his first day at work 2 weeks ago - and you weren't in the habit of getting fresh with people, but... well, he literally stopped your stupid baby sister getting run over by a car. With a humourless laugh out of your nose, you kissed his cheek briefly. To your surprise, his eye lights extinguished and his whole skull went bright red. Had he actually been expecting a kiss or not?

As if he were slapped roughly on the ass, Edge suddenly shot up to his full height again, clearing his nonexistent throat.

"Yes, well, that's... yes." he said, straightening his clothes "Very good. Is this your kid?"

"How old do I look to you?" you feigned offence "She's my foster sister."

"I thought Anna was your foster sister?"

"It is possible to have more than one, Edge."

"I see."

Accepting the explanation completely, Edge took the toddler in his hands and released the hold of his blue magic. No longer weightless, she began to desperately thrash and roar, trying to get free. Edge merely raised a brow bone in her direction, his seven foot of height not bothered in the slightest by her efforts.

"Is this normal?" he asked.

"For a three year old?" you clarified "Yes. Give her to me, she'll calm down."

Edge went to do as you asked, only to stop, his eye lights on your bare feet.

"You aren't wearing any shoes." he pointed out.

"Keen observation, Sherlock." you remarked "An escaped toddler is something of an emergency situation, I didn't exactly have time to lace up my DM's."

Pulling the unimpressed face he always did when you pulled out the sass, Edge handed you Suzy, who as predicted did calm down, immediately throwing her arms around your neck and sulking on your shoulder, knowing her freedom was over. Before you could take a step, however, you were grabbed from behind and lifted into the air, cradled bridal style by long, sturdy bones.

"Uh..."

"Don't make this a thing." Edge asked, pointedly not looking at you as he started down the road "It's just an inconvenience to me if my supervisor is injured."

"You just keep telling yourself that." you teased as you readjusted Suzy's weight, the toddler sighing in a fed up manner.

"Which way?" was his only answer, cheeks tinting red again.

Edge was so fun to tease. At the slightest prodding he would practically burst into flames and become a stuttering, flailing mess of skeletal limbs. He wasn't a bad guy, even if his ego did need a bit of deflating, but what were friends for, right?

"I'm surprised you didn't ask Cro... Sugar for help." he corrected himself "He's always been good at hunting things down."

"He's gone to visit his cousins." you explained with a shrug "Well, _your_ cousins, I suppose. He got a letter from a guy called 'BB' and some little shit called Black."

"Yeah, Black doesn't make the best first impression." Edge laughed "He is a little brusque."

He burst out into an insane sounding cackle, which only made you and Suzy look at him as if he was crazy. Realising he was the only one laughing, he awkwardly stopped.

"You see, it's funny... because, he's... short..." he finished unsurely. 

"I see." you answered.

"If you say so." Suzy added.

"SUZY!" a panicked voice bellowed.

Before you even realised it, you had arrived back home. Must be nice to have such long legs, you thought, makes any walk shorter. Your foster mother ran from the front garden, leaving Nana to tend to a distraughtly crying Anna.

"Is she okay?" she fussed, looking the toddler over "Is she hurt?"

"Just sulking because I wouldn't let her get run over." you assured.

Your foster mother sighed, clearly not in the mood for your brand of humour right now.

"Are you alright?" she asked, gesturing to how you were being carried "Did you twist your ankle?"

"Nah, just being lazy." you shrugged.

"Your feet are bleeding." she pointed out.

"Aw shit, really?" you asked, trying to shift yourself around to take a look "Did I step in some glass?"

Your foster mother just sighed again, introducing herself to Edge, who returned the gesture, before asking him to carry you inside. Anna resolutely made sure the front gate was locked before you put Suzy down. As if nothing exciting at all had happened, she waddled over and hoisted herself into Nana's lap, playing with the reading glasses around her neck.

"Aren't we going to punish her?!" Anna cried "She scared the crap out of us!"

"Language." her mother scolded "And there's no point in punishing a three year old, they have no concept of cause and consequence."

"But...! I...! She...!" she gestured wildly in frustration "ARGH!"

Edge flinched in surprise as Anna stormed past him, going upstairs and slamming her bedroom door closed behind her.

"Should I come back?" he asked.

"Don't act like you never threw a tantrum as a teenager." you accused, poking him in the sternum "This is just your first time on the other side."

"You're making a very good argument against breeding." he told you "A nightmare as a baby, a nightmare as a teenager. What are the positives of having children?"

"It's all worth it in the end." your foster mother assured him as she led him into the living room "Sit here, I'll get the peroxide."

Edge put you down gently, squatting in front of you and taking your foot in his hands. You didn't really realise how big he was until you saw the size difference between your foot and his palm. Still a good few feet shorter than Sugar, but very tall nonetheless.

"Nothing in the wound." he assured you "Hold still."

With a gentle green glow, your foot started to feel warm and tingly. You took a deep breath and held it, whole body twitching as the sensitive nerves on your soles were prodded. Noticing this, Edge smirked, raising a brow bone.

"Ticklish?" he teased.

"Don't you fucking dare!"

He laughed conspiratorially, and you could just picture him filing this information away for later. The green glow disappeared, and you felt his firm hand running over the bottom of your foot.

"Alright, all done." he said "Give me the other one."

"You're really good at this." you noted "It takes Sugar way longer."

"His magic was weakened by the famine." Edge knew "And I've had a lot of practice - healing magic is pretty unusual for a Fell."

"Why's that?"

Edge started to answer, but your foster mother came back into the room, having finally found the peroxide. You weren't at all disappointed that she didn't have to use it. After allowing your foster mother to make him a drink, which you were sure he only accepted out of politeness, he excused himself to leave, and you escorted him to the front gate. Spying Suzy running around the front garden pretending to be godzilla, he wisely stepped over the gate rather than open it.

"Hey," you called, getting his attention "All joking aside, I seriously owe you for today, you have no idea. If there's anything I can do-"

"Movie." he interrupted.

"Pardon?"

"There's a movie I want to see." the skeleton told you, leaning over the gate "Come with me and we'll call it even."

"Go with you?" you echoed "Like... a date?"

The cringe must have been clear in your voice, as he immediately shook his head.

"Friend date." he assured "Going to the cinema on your own is just really sad, you know?"

"Don't be a pussy." you teased "But sure, I'll go with you. When and where?"

"Monday coming, I'll pick you up."

"So I finally get to see this car you've been bending my ear about?"

"Maybe." he smirked "Maybe I'll just carry you. We'll see."

"Big talk for a guy with no muscles."

You poked his upper arm for emphasis, but his smirk only increased.

"It's not what you've got, it's how you use it." he told you.

"That's what she said." you countered.

Edge opened his mouth to respond, but seemed to think better of it, closing it again with a barely audible click of teeth.

"Monday." he repeated "One o'clock. I'm not paying for that overpriced popcorn, so let's have lunch before hand. You like prawn cocktail?"

"That depends." you teased "You actually going to cook the prawns this time?"

"That was one time!" 

* * *

You hadn't taken the leather clad skeleton for a movie snob, but as you read the subtitles on the black and white screen, you had to admit you had misread him. He seemed to be enjoying himself too, eyes locked on the screen. Besides one guy in the front row, you were the only people at the screening, but it wasn't exactly a well known classic, which is probably why it was being shown at 1pm on a Monday.

After the film, he invited you back to his for dinner. You got the sneaking suspicion he wanted to show off this lasagne recipe he was so sure was better than yours, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't at least a little interested in trying it.

You were surprised by what a safe driver he was. Some of your friends you refused to get in a car with because you felt safer riding a thrashing bull, but Edge stuck to the speed limit, obeyed the traffic laws, and didn't even speed up when he saw the light about to change ahead of him. Between this and the manners he had shown your foster mother, you were starting to realise that under the spikes and tailored leather there was a Good Boy just desperate to break out.

You kept that particular realisation to yourself.

Your colleagues house was pretty low-key, distinguished from its neighbours only by the string of christmas lights strung up on the guttering.

"You know it's summer, right?" you teased as you got out of the car.

"It reminds me of home." he excused.

He stopped at the door, phalanges braced on the handle, and scowled. Curious, you poked him lightly on the spine.

"Everything okay?" you asked.

"I'm just wondering that myself." he grumbled, finally opening the door and leading you in.

You didn't know what he was worried about - the place was ridiculously clean, considering a couple of guys lived there. Not much by the way of furniture, but in your experience guys weren't as good at nesting as girls were. Edge looked around suspiciously, but you weren't sure what he was expecting to find.

"Sans?" he called into the house.

A belch was his response. Edge sighed miserably and rubbed his temples as he grabbed your shoulder with his other hand, already herding you towards the stairs when another skeleton appeared from the kitchen. He was dressed only in his boxers and socks, and had a box of doughnuts in his hands.

"hey paps, how was yer date?" he asked before he noticed you.

How was it possible for a skeleton to be buff? You could already tell it was the kind of buff that would easily turn to fat if he stopped exercising, and you weren't sure how that would work either, but since your friend and neighbour Axe had a bit of belly on him, you knew it was possible.

"oh, hey cupcake!" he cried when he finally did see you, eyes lighting up with mischief "ya must be the date in question."

"Not a date, Sans." Edge grumbled.

Wiping the powdered sugar off on his boxers, he offered you his hand.

"i'm sans, but everybody calls me red. you?"

You didn't really want to shake his hand. Edge must have realised this, as he gently slapped it back down. You introduced yourself all the same.

"oh, yer pap's work crush!" Red announced, earning a startled shriek from his brother "he's always talkin' about ya!"

"OH MY GOD SANS SHUT UP!" Edge shrieked, grabbed you by both shoulders and herding you once again towards the stairs.

"Nice to meet you, Red." you called back, trying desperately not to laugh.

"remember to use protection." the older brother finished with a wink before settling down on the sofa.

Edge's only response was to literally scream, picking you up and sprinting up the stairs three at a time. You couldn't contain your laughter any more, still giggling as Edge placed you back on the floor in his bedroom, kicking his door closed. It was nice to know you weren't the only one who liked to tease him. The laughter died on your tongue when you realised he looked more humiliated than mad, eyes downcast.

"Please don't laugh at me." he grumbled.

"I'm not." you assured "I'm laughing at your brother."

"I wish he wouldn't do that."

"It's an older sibling thing. It's a sign of affection, really."

"That doesn't mean I like it."

The look on his face... you made a mental note to ask Anna about her feelings when you got home.

"Well, I can't help but notice this isn't the kitchen." you pointed out, granting him a change of subject "You had something else in mind?"

He took the offer with both hands, claiming it was still too early for dinner as he led you over to the tv on the other side his bedroom. Below it was a games console, which he handed you the second controller for. You hadn't taken him for a gamer, but judging by the action figures, martial arts posters and photo's of him and his friends from his army days, you supposed he was a much more complicated person than first appeared.

* * *

The summer passed before you knew it. You had never put much thought into the phrase 'time moves quickly when you're having fun', but damn if it wasn't true. Completely by accident, Edge ended up taking up your entire summer - you worked with him, of course, but you also hung out regularly. So much so in fact that you couldn't remember the last time you had gone a day without seeing him.

The more you got to know him, the more you realised exactly how bad he was crushing on you.

Subtlety, thy name was _not_ Papyrus of the Fell clan.

Such as the way he would stand way too close to you at work, hands on your shoulders and leaning over you when you were showing him a new recipe, only to jump away like you were on fire the second the someone else came in the kitchen.

Or the way he stuck to your side like glue and glowered at anyone who came close to you in public spaces. You'd hate to think how that trip to the beach would have ended if one heated glare from him hadn't scared off those frat boy douche bags.

Or the way he was just generally attentive and gentle with you in a way your guy friends weren't. He always made sure you stayed hydrated in the kitchens unbelievable heat, never made lunch without making you a portion too, and when you spoke to him, you could tell he was actually listening to you, not just hearing like so many guys do.

You'd had male friends ask you out before, claiming how much they liked you, but you had always turned them down. Mostly for your own reasons, but also because they seemed disingenuous for reasons you couldn't quite put your finger on. After spending the summer with Edge, you could finally qualify why. 

He treated you like you were special.

Sure, he was kind enough to everyone, even if he did lose his temper when the kitchen got particularly busy, but the way he treated you was noticeably different. All the male friends who had asked you out before just treated you like a buddy, but the way Edge was so gentle, as if he was afraid he'd break you, the way you could see him thinking carefully when the two of you spoke, made you realise his emotions were very real.

But realising that, and returning those feelings were two very different things.

"Okay, hold still!"

You smiled broadly, knowing full well that Sugar was doing bunny ears behind your head as he took the selfie on his phone, his bespectacled and freshly braced face up against yours so tightly it made your cheek squish. He was happy enough with the photo that he sent it to his brother before putting his phone away, stretching his long limbs in the late summer sun.

"I love it when your cheek does that." he teased, poking you "Squish."

You swatted his hand away.

"Uh, rude." you played along "Don't just squish a person without permission."

"Don't best friends get automatic squishing privileges?" he went on as he took an apple from the bag that sat between you on the park bench.

Your answer was cut short when he tried to bite into it, only for his whole body to flinch violently. Braces or not, it seemed his teeth were still very sensitive.

"Love your optimism." you told him, holding your hand out for the fruit.

He duly handed it to you, too busy riding the aftershocks of the pain for the embarrassment to kick in, and you pulled a switchblade from your coat pocket to cut it up.

"Huh..." he noted.

"Huh?" you repeated.

"My cousin Edge has a knife just like that."

"Not anymore. He gave it to me last week."

"Oh right, I forgot you two were working together. How's it going?"

So you told him, completely honestly, about everything. The conversation took long enough that he finished the apple, and the two of you had wandered out of the park and half way back to his cousins place before you were done.

"But you don't like him back?" Sugar noted.

"I don't dislike him or anything." you assured "But that doesn't mean I like him either. Is that mean? I mean, I can't make myself feel something for him."

"He wouldn't like that anyway. Cousin Edge is very perceptive, he'd know if your heart wasn't in it."

"You think he knows I don't return his feelings?"

"Most likely."

The two of you fell into silence for a moment, but you knew Sugar well enough to know there was something on his mind. You stayed quiet, letting the silence play with his head, as you strolled through the streets of Ebbott city in no particular rush.

"_Why_ don't you like him back?" he blurted out.

That didn't take long.

"I don't know, there's no particular reason."

"Is it his face?" Sugar pressed "His voice? Do you not like guys who are that tall?"

It seemed lack of subtlety ran in the family. You stopped on the pavement, beckoning Sugar down to your level. It would never not be funny seeing the way his long limbs bent at odd angles, but the confused and concerned expression on his face stopped you from laughing. Now that he was close enough, you kissed him on the forehead before looking him in the eye.

"Sugar, you are a gorgeous example of a skeleton." you assured him "I know you're going through a lot of changes right now, but you have nothing to feel self conscious about."

Your friend let out a quiet 'nyeh', taking your hand.

"You know me very well." he agreed "Edge and I do look alike, don't we? I didn't mean to project..."

You used your free hand to cradle his face, giving him a reassuring smile.

"We all have our insecurities." you said "I'm here if you want to talk, you know?"

"I know." he assured, pressing the hand he held to his teeth before standing up again "You know what we should do?"

"What?"

"Run laps around the park shouting all the things we like about ourselves!"

"Let's not."

* * *

Since Ebbott City was so far away from home, you had planned to stay the night at Sugar's cousins house and get the train home the next afternoon. Dinner was a... _chaotic_ affair. You had thought it was only the four cousins living in the house, but the number of monsters you saw, all coming and going like it was completely natural, made you wonder. Most were skeletons, of course, but there were also a few humans in the mix, some kids running about, and a yellow lizard monster having a protracted arm wrestling match with a blue fish monster. You thought they were having some kind of house party, but Sugar assured you it was just always like that.

You couldn't say you cared for it. You thought it was busy enough at home, with your foster parents, three siblings and elderly grandmother in a three bedroom house, so this just seemed like overkill. You finally met that little shit Black ('a little brusque' indeed), and his weird brother, who looked you right in the eye as he licked the outside of the glass his drink was in. It wasn't sexy at all, so clearly he was trying to weird you out. It kind of worked.

Despite the activity all around, you couldn't help but notice that Sugar didn't seem himself. He was very quiet (for him), and his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. As everyone who didn't live in the house filed out for the night, the two of you excused yourself to go to bed. Your friend remained maudlin, staring up at the ceiling as he laid on his bed, not seeing anything. Before climbing into the foldaway bed beside his, you knocked lightly on his skull.

"Penny for your thoughts?" 

"I don't know." he admitted "I'm having some very complicated feelings right now, it's taking a while to process them."

"Want to talk it out?"

Sugar opened his mouth as if to do just that, raising a hand, but then seemed to think better of it, dropping it again. You let him puzzle it out a bit more while you got comfortable, trying to find the best position to avoid that one spring that stuck up poking you in the back.

"We're best friends, right?" he started.

"Of course." you assured.

"And that wouldn't change if you started dating someone, would it?"

"Of course not. Why would it?"

"I'm not sure." he pondered "When I think about you dating, it just feels... like I'm... losing you..."

"Shug..."

"I know it's silly!" he declared "I know it's not realistic, but I just can't shake it!"

"Well," you supposed, tucking your arm under your pillow as you turned to face him "Like I said earlier, there's a lot of changes going on in your life right now, maybe the idea of something else changing is too much for you?"

"Maybe..." he sighed "That doesn't feel right, though..."

You yawned, the hours of travel and activity catching up with you, and shuffled into your preferred sleeping position.

"Why don't you sleep on it?" you suggested "See how you feel in the morning?"

His only reply was a hum of agreement. You were asleep before it reached its end.

* * *

Sugar was still quiet the next day, only this time it seemed somehow apprehensive. He spent the morning showing you his favourite shops in the city, but you could tell his heart just wasn't in it. When the time came to get the train home, he took you to the station, loitering like he had something to say. He didn't, though, simply shuffling on his feet and looking unhappy.

"Only two and a half weeks until I leave for college." you reminded him "You going to come see me off?"

"You just try and stop me." he assured "I should be back in the area by then anyway, I'm running out of holiday time. By the time I come back, I'll be the handsomest skeleton in the world!"

"You already are." you told him, only slightly teasing.

He smiled, but it somehow ended up looking more conflicted than happy. The beeping of the train doors alerted you to it's imminent departure.

"Shit, it's time." you noted, holding up your arms "Quick, gimme a hug!"

He did so, but something about it was off. A little too tight, a little too long, pulling away a little too slow. The immediacy of the train leaving stopped you dwelling on it too much.

For now.

* * *

You hadn't arranged to be picked up when you got to your home station, so your first reaction to the nearby beep of a car horn was to flip the driver off. When you heard your name being called, you looked around to see Edge, shaking his head with an amused smirk from the wheel of his black convertible.

"Hey man," you greeted him as you walked over "You here to pick someone up?"

"Yes." he pointed out "You." 

"I don't remember asking..." you started, but soon realised how rude that sounded "Did I ask you to pick me up and just completely blank on it?"

"No." he confirmed with a shrug to feign nonchalance "You said you'd be back around this time, and the internet said this was the only train you could get to or from Ebbot city, so I deduced it must be yours. I thought you'd be tired, so I came to pick you up."

He 'deduced', huh...

"Not gonna lie, Edge." you told him, still hanging around the drivers side door "That's kinda creepy."

He gave you that deer-in-the-headlights look he got sometimes. You knew him well enough by now to know there was no malice in his actions, he just wasn't as socially au fait as he liked to think. He didn't pick up on a lot of social cues, and his reactions to some situations were out of the ordinary. You recognised it, of course, as the result of having not been properly socialised as a child. His brother was much older than him, and he told you the place he had grown up was pretty remote, so you were sure he hadn't had many friends. You were certain he wasn't trying to be creepy.

"Oh." he said quietly, confirming your suspicions as he awkwardly looked this way and that "How so?"

"I'll tell you on the way." you assured, finally rounding the car and opening the passenger side door.

He had questions, of course, and arguments - he always did.

"I thought it was a good thing to be able to anticipate peoples needs." he insisted.

"It depends on the situation."

"You have no idea how much I'm starting to hate that phrase."

"Well get used to it, sunshine, it's only going to get more complicated."

So complicated, in fact, that you didn't realise where you were until you saw a dilapidated petrol station that only existed in one certain place in your town.

"Edge, why are we taking the long way home?" you asked "The really long way?"

"I thought it would be nice to spend some time together." he shrugged, eyes not leaving the road.

You just stared at him a moment, letting your silent judgement sink in.

"...That's creepy, isn't it?" he realised.

"Yup."

"You're going to have to explain this one." he asked "How is wanting to spend time with you creepy?"

"It isn't." you told him "What's creepy is that you showed up without being asked after cyber stalking my train, and now you're driving me to a place we didn't agree on."

"We're still going to your house." he argued "It's just taking us a little longer."

"It's not the destination that's the issue." you went on "It's... how do I explain?... It would be different if we were walking, but because you're driving-"

"It's the car that's the issue? You've been in it plenty of times."

"Don't interrupt." you scolded lightly "And it's not the car itself, it's..."

What was the phrase? The one your psychiatrist liked to throw around?

"The power dynamic!" you recalled.

"The what?"

"It's like, you have all the power in this situation, and you're using it to coerce me into doing things." you elaborated "You went and turned up with the car without being asked, so it pressured me to take a ride with you. And you're driving, so I have absolutely no say about where we go. If you had said to me before we left 'do you want to take the long way home?', that would have given us equal power in the situation, you as the driver and me as the consenting passenger. But since you didn't, it gives you all the power. We could be going anywhere, and what can I do about it? Jump out the car? You know what you're doing, and I have no choice. It's manipulative."

Edge slammed on the breaks so hard, you thanked every god that ever existed that you had been wearing a seat belt, or else you would have gone through the windshield. The only other car on this quiet road laid on the horn and called him a wanker as they passed, but Edges eyes remained on the road ahead of him. He was gripping the steering wheel so tight, you could hear the leather squeak.

Your mind desperately begged you to backtrack, to apologise, to find a way out of this suddenly tense situation that wouldn't end in a fight. Edge had never been violent with you, but the size difference between you told you it wouldn't end in your favour if he did.

"Is that... how I made you feel...?" he asked quietly, not looking at you still.

"Well... maybe the way I said it was a little harsh." you conceded.

"No." he dismissed "You said it exactly how it was. I coerced you, I manipulated you, I took way all your choices, and I convinced myself I was doing it for your benefit."

You were startled as bright red tears started building in his eye sockets, and immediately you knew this wasn't about you any more.

"I never realised how easy it was..." he hissed, more to himself.

Whatever he was thinking about upset him so much that he covered his mouth, physically drawing in on himself as he finally looked at you.

"_I'm so sorry_." he sobbed, tears finally falling "I never meant to do that to you, I swear!"

You held out your arms, inviting him in for a hug. He took the offer, unbuckling his seat belt to get closer to you. Huh, he and Sugar used the same cologne.

"It's alright," you attempted to soothe.

"No, it isn't." he insisted.

"Then I forgive you." you corrected "Because I know you'll learn from this and do better."

He let you go so he could look into your eyes, searching for a lie. As his eye lights flashed briefly to your lips, you thought he was going to try and kiss you. Instead, he backed away completely, rubbing the tears from his cheeks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you offered.

"About what?"

"I know you're not crying because of me."

Edge let out a bitter laugh, taking a deep breath to steady himself.

"You've not met my brother Wing, yet." he said simply "He's pretty much the living embodiment of manipulating a power dynamic."

"Ah. I'm guessing he's the oldest."

"Five years older than Sans." he confirmed "And Sans is fifteen years older than me."

"Fuck, seriously?!" you cried before you could stop yourself, quickly slapping your hand over your mouth.

Edge just laughed, soft and genuine.

"Hard to tell, isn't it?" he agreed "How much older than you is Miles?"

You let the subject change, granting him a reprieve from whatever was going on in his head. Eventually, he started the car again, and took you home. 

As he pulled up in front of your house, you could tell he had something else to say. You let him mull it over as he very deliberately made sure the car doors weren't locked, and that someone was visibly home. That you had an equal opportunity to leave the situation.

"In... in reference to what we were talking about before..." he started unsurely "I've always believed that mates should be equal in all things. That one shouldn't have 'power' over the other."

"That is how healthy relationships work." you confirmed.

You caught the little smile that graced his mouth, but didn't mention it when he clearly wasn't in the mood to be teased.

"I like you." he said bluntly "A lot. I think I might even love you. And I think you know that."

Wow. What could you say to that? Edge was your friend, you didn't want to rip his heart out... It seemed you didn't have to, though, as he sighed deeply, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

"But I also know you don't return my feelings." he finished "And... I just... wanted to know why?"

His voice was flat, not pleading for you to change your mind, not passive-aggressively trying to guilt you. It was simply a fact he accepted, but needed more information on. You picked your words carefully so not to hurt him, remembering what you and Sugar had talked about before.

"Putting aside the fact you and I have only known each other a month and a half?" you started "There isn't a reason."

"There has to be." he insisted.

"Why does there have to be?" you countered, bracing yourself for an argument.

"Because if I don't know what's wrong then I can't fix it!" he cried, finally letting the emotion into his voice "If I don't know what it is about me you don't like, I can't change it!. I can do anything, be anything, but I need to know what first!"

"I like you the way you are." you insisted.

"Just not the way I want you to." he finished, resigned.

Again, he wasn't trying to guilt you. He just seemed... confused. He needed someone to explain these feelings to him. He needed his big brother. You made a mental note to text him later.

"Edge, you can't force feelings." you told him softly, placing a comforting hand on his arm "And you can't fix what isn't broken - our relationship is just fine the way it is."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" he all but sobbed "Just keep being your friend while I watch you fall in love with somebody else?"

"No, of course not." you assured "What you're feeling right now? One day you're going to meet someone who feels that way about you too, and you'll be glad you're not tied up with me. You deserve to be loved, Papyrus."

The sound of his real name silenced any response. Anna had made you watch enough girly romance movies that you knew the guy usually got a kiss on the cheek after such a rejection, but that had always seemed cruel to you. Instead, you simply got out of the car, grabbing your overnight bag from the back, and turned to him one more time.

"I like you enough to care about not hurting your feelings." you told him "That's the softest rejection I've ever given anyone. Just because we can't be what you want, that doesn't mean we can't be good, you know?"

Again, he was silent, answering only with a barely perceptible nod. You bid him a good night and headed to the house, where your foster father had already opened the door, wandering what was taking you so long outside. You didn't hear Edge drive away until it was closed and lockec behind you.

* * *

Nana let out an impressed whistle as she looked over your new laptop, still in it's box. You knew she had no idea about computers, but you appreciated her enthusiasm.

"Are you going to open it now, or is to going to college in it's box?" she asked "Since you're already packing, and all."

"I haven't decided." you confessed, helping your foster mother unload the car after your day shopping for college essentials "I want to set it up now, but at the same time I want to keep it until I get there, you know?"

"A difficult decision." she agreed.

"hey."

You looked up as a deep voice called you. Your friend and neighbour Axe waved at you, leaning over the fence, his one red eye light bright and strong. Confused, you checked the date on your phone.

"i got out a couple of days early." he confirmed with a chuckle "with pap's back in town and my treatment going so well, the docs figured why not?"

"Good to see you out in the world again." you told him honestly, leaning on the fence yourself "Now I don't have to travel and hour and a half across town to finish our chess match."

"yeah, that is a long way to go just to lose." he teased.

"Yeah yeah, big talk." you played along "You forget the pictures of the board are on my phone."

Wait a second...

"When did Sugar get back to town?" you backtracked.

"this morning." Axe assured "you and your ma were gone already when we came over to say hi. pap's has been nesting all day, cleaning and food shopping and junk. you know him. speaking off..."

The rotund skeleton pulled his phone from his pocket, and the smile on his face told you he was calling his brother.

"hey, guess who's home." is all he said when he answered.

Immediately, an upstairs window on their house opened, Sugar poking his head out, phone to his ... ear?

"Sans, oh my god, I'm literally right here!" he yelled "You couldn't just come up the stairs?!"

"worked, didn't it?"

Even from here, you could hear the younger brother grumble, pulling the floral cleaning bandanna from his skull as he disappeared back into the house. Axe chuckled as he hung up, shoving his hands in his pockets before turning to you.

"hey, do me a little favour?" he asked "pap's has something important he wants to talk to you about. he's kinda been psyching himself up all day. psyching himself out too, if you get my drift."

"You want me to spend _time_ with my best friend?!" you gasped theatrically, clasping imaginary pearls "How _dare_ you sir!"

"i know, i'm _disgusting_." he played along, shortcutting through the fence and appearing in your garden.

He pulled up one of the garden chairs next to Nana, plonking down like he had no intention of moving for a long time.

"hello, gorgeous." he greeted the nonagenarian.

"Hello yourself, funny-bones." she laughed "How was your vacation to the loony bin?"

"i think i'm crazier." he joked, poking at the awful jagged hole in his skull "for a solid week i thought i had a flower growing out of my head. turns out there was just a painting behind me and i was looking in a mirror. still, nice to know my head makes a pretty unique vase."

Nana laughed in an 'oh, you' fashion, and you silently excused yourself to go next door. As you entered the house, a clattering upstairs told you where you could find your friend. A sudden thud and a soft swear told you he'd hit his head on the ceiling again.

"Shug?" you called "You good?"

More swearing, and the sound of several things being dropped was your answer. You held back your laughter as you started up the stairs, expecting to find a flailing mess of anxious limbs, and to be fair, you weren't wrong. He seemed to be half way through changing, trousers around his ankles as he tried to pull his shirt over his head. You wolf whistled, making him flinch. You'd seen him in his underwear before, so that wasn't a big deal, but usually he would play up a little and preen when you catcalled him. Instead, he seemed to shrink, sitting on his bed with a heavy sigh.

"You okay?" you asked again, actually a little concerned this time.

"Promise not to laugh?" he said, voice all but pleading with you.

"I promise to try."

He sighed again, throwing his arms up to show you the problem.

"My shirt is caught on my braces." he confessed.

You wanted to laugh, but mostly because that was absurdly cute - this massive skeleton trapped in his own clothes by a few stray stands caught on the wrong thing.

"Come here, you goof," you offered "Lemme help."

It took a few minutes to unhook the loose threads from his delicate teeth, finally releasing him from his textile prison. His face was bright orange as he threw the offending fabric away.

"So humiliating..." he grumbled.

"Why were you changing anyway?" you asked "I've seen you in your cleaning clothes before."

"That's different." he insisted, rubbing a smudge off his glasses with his new shirt before putting it on "I wanted to look nice."

"You always look nice."

"Oh shush, you charming bastard."

You just laughed, settling yourself on his computer chair as he finished dressing. When he was finally satisfied with his appearance, he sat on his bed facing you, long legs either side of your chair.

"I haven't heard from you since I visited." you pointed out "I was starting to get worried."

"I'm sorry, I just had some things to work out." he confessed "Emotional things. I wanted to be sure that I wasn't just jealous, or projecting, or any of the other million things it could have been."

"And?"

"I think I was a little jealous." he confessed "But that jealousy was the key that opened the door to the real issue."

He grabbed the arm rests of the chair, wheeling it towards him. He stared at you with a steely resolution, but then seemed to lose his nerve.

"This was so much easier when I was talking to Sans." he said.

You knew your friend could be nervous, and sometimes all he needed was a little encouragement - a few pumps to get the well going, as it were. You put your hand on his shoulder, giving him a winning smile.

"You're doing great." you told him "You and me are friends, you know? How long have we known each other now?"

"About three years." he knew.

"Then you should know there's nothing you can tell me that's going to change anything." you assured "I mean, what's worse than....eating people?"

Sugar chuckled, a little humorlessly, but your encouragement seemed to be working anyway. Maybe the recollection that confessing his deepest, darkest secret to you hadn't changed anything gave him courage, as he took your hands in his and looked at you seriously.

"I have romantic feelings for you." he told you "And I would like it if you would consider dating me."

Cue the mental record scratch. Sugar could clearly see it, as he remained patient, nerves steady as the gears ground in your head.

"Are you sure?" was the only thing it came up with.

"I am." he nodded "I've thought about it very carefully. At first I thought I was just jealous of Edge getting so close to you, of getting to know you in a way that I couldn't. Then I thought that my mind was playing tricks on me because of all the changes we're both going through, and because you're going off to college soon, but... the more I thought about it, the clearer it became. I can't picture a future without you, I want to be by your side through whatever comes our way."

"Sugar..." you breathed "I... um... that's..."

"It's okay." the skeleton assured with a smile "You don't have to answer me now. I know you struggle with things like this. I'll always be your fabulous friend, no matter what, so don't worry too much about what the answer is."

Your whole face was on fire. Scratch that, your whole body was. There was embarrassment, sure, but that wasn't the main emotion rippling through you like flaming waves. You weren't quite sure what this was. You were scared, but also happy? A nasty little voice in the back of your head told you he was fucking with you, but a much stronger one reminded you that your best friend would never do that. Sure, you had wondered, once or twice, what it would be like to be more than friends, but it was never more than idle speculation. And sure, you had had crushes before, but nothing ever strong enough that you felt the need to act on it.

Now, though?

You wanted to act on it, and that thought was both elating and terrifying.

"I..." you started "I think I'd like to try."

Sugar looked completely shocked, like he hadn't been expecting an answer, let alone a positive one.

"I mean..." you couldn't help but laugh.

God, why were you laughing?

"I'm off to college next week, so it might be a little difficult, but..."

Sugar laughed as well, echoing you nervous, happy tone.

"Long distance, I guess?" he suggested "I can always come visit you, and you'll come see your family on the holidays, so we'll see each other then too."

"As if we don't text and facetime every day." you pointed out.

"Exactly!" he agreed excitedly "We're already experts at this, but now we can be all romantic about it!"

"Yeah..."

Fuck, if your heart poundied any harder, it was going to break out of your chest.

"We're really doing this..."

"You don't want to?" Sugar asked carefully.

"I do want to." you assured "I really do, and it's kind of terrifying."

"Oh my god, isn't it?!" he almost yelled "I'm so full of nervous energy, I haven't slept in days! I thought I was going to vibrate myself apart! I still might!"

You both laughed, the said same nervous energy bouncing around the room. You were suddenly struck by an overwhelming desire, and considering the situation, you didn't think he would mind. You stood up, putting your hands on his shoulders again. Despite your enthusiasm, the particulars of the act evaded you.

"How do you, um..."

Sugar seemed to know exactly what it was you were asking, as he smirked, putting his arms around your waist.

"Like this." he said.

He leaned down and pressed his teeth to your lips. Strangely, the cold metal braces were the weirdest part. It was nothing like a human kiss, but it was still intimate, and his arms around you felt really nice.

You were really doing this.

You were really doing this.

_You were really doing this._

Wait...

"Fuck, Edge!" you suddenly remembered, drawing away from Sugar.

"Edge?" he echoed, slight twang oh hurt in his voice.

"Shug, we can't let him know about us." you insisted "Not yet. I pretty much tore out his heart last week when I rejected him."

He nodded understandingly, face twitching a little as different emotions battled it out within him.

"How did he take it?" he asked.

"Surprisingly well." you admitted "He keeps his distance a little more at work and is less flirty, but he's not butt hurt or anything."

"I don't know cousin Edge particularly well, but I know he's a good person at heart. He'll get over it. In the meantime, we can be subtle. I mean, it's only a week until you leave."

An awkward silence fell between you, neither sure what to say.

"...Doesn't mean we have to be subtle right _now_." he finished.

You couldn't help but laugh, going in to kiss him again, only for a bright light to blind you both.

"shit, flash was on."

"Sans!" Sugar cried "What the hell?!"

"like i wasn't going to document my little bro's first love." Axe replied with the smug self assurance of the older sibling "plus i need evidence for my journal, or i won't believe it tomorrow."

"Oh my god, get out!"

"get a room."

"We're in a room!"

"then either shut the door or smile for the camera."

With a flash of blue magic, the bedroom door slammed closed in Axe's face.

"_dude_." was all you heard him say before you burst out laughing.

* * *

It was close to two in the morning. If not for this damn summer heat, you'd be asleep by now, like Anna and Suzy were. Instead, you had tossed and turned for hours, kicking your blanket on and off and turning your pillow over so many times it probably had vertigo. With a hearty sigh, you gave up on the idea of getting any sleep and got out of bed, grabbing one of your new college text books and heading downstairs to do some studying. To your surprise, the kitchen light was on, and your foster brother Miles was making himself a cup of coffee.

"Hey, stranger." you greeted "I didn't hear you come in."

"I've become an expert at it." he agreed "Pity I'm a cop and not a burglar, eh? Coffee?"

"Please."

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Too hot."

He just hummed, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard as the kettle finished boiling.

"I'm sure the fact you're off to college in a few days has nothing to do with it." he teased "You excited?"

"Of course." you confirmed as you sat at the kitchen table "Gonna miss me?"

"Of course." he echoed "Although considering the amount I see you as it is, it may not be all that different."

"You're getting close to catching the big fish." you knew from a previous conversation "Things will get easier after that, right?"

"God, I hope so." he sighed, voice heavy with stress and fatigue.

There was a knock on the patio door, startling you both. Miles was so shocked that he habitually reached for his sidearm, but of course he didn't bring it home anymore. As if it wasn't weird enough that someone was knocking on the back door at 2am, that someone happened to be a 7 foot tall skeleton in studded leather.

"Who the fuck?" Miles swore.

"Edge, from work." you summarised, concerned over his sudden appearance.

"Does he always do this?"

"No."

Even before you got up from your seat, you could see something was wrong. He was trembling so hard his bones were rattling, and his usually immaculate clothes were crumpled and torn. Had he been in a fight? He almost seemed to shrink away from you as you unlocked the patio door and stepped out into the night.

"Edge, what's wrong?" you asked "Are you okay?"

"I can't do this!" he cried, almost frantic "I can't do it!"

"Do what? What are you talking about?"

So he told you.

He told you _everything._

He told you about echo, about his brothers criminal empire. He told you about Wing's plan to kidnap Anna so Miles would be forced to destroy the evidence his team had been building against them. He told you about how bizarrely happy his older brothers had been when he told them about his feelings for you, and the plans the two of them cooked up in less time than it took to say 'forced marriage'.

The plans they had had for you... Edge had told them no, that he wouldn't do it, that you don't do things like that to people you love, and the three of them had fought. They thought he had left to clear his head, that there was no way he would defy them, let alone go to the authorities.

They thought wrong.

Things happened very quickly after that. The coffee Miles had made wasn't even cold when he was back out the door, calling his team to organise a dawn raid not only at the house Edge and Red lived in, but at the family home the skel had kindly given them the address of. You just had time to finish drinking yours when Edge was placed in protective custody, not putting up a fight of any kind as he was cuffed.

The look he gave you was a very complicated one. Guilt, grief, shame, resolution, regret, and love. The officers Miles had sent for him let you have one last hug before leading him away.

You were at college all of two weeks before you were called back home to give evidence at their trial. It was a quick turnaround, but considering how long Miles and his team had been building evidence against them, it wasn't a surprise that they wanted to get it done quickly. If even half the things the press were saying about Wing and Red were true, then jail was truly the only place for them, magic supressors on every limb until the end of time.

They had surprised you, though, by distancing Edge from their crimes. They swore his only crime was being related to them, that he wasn't involved with the drugs and robberies and murders. Red was effusive, desperate to spare his little brother, while Wing was clearly talking through gritted teeth. Why else would he suddenly have sold them out, they argued, if he had known all along?

They didn't mention you. Even when Wings cold purple eye lights locked on yours, and you felt a wave of revulsion roll down your back, your name and their plans for you didn't leave their mouths.

The jury bought it well enough, and when Wing and Red were sentenced to life in prison for their crimes, Edge was given a choice of three years in a different, much nicer jail than his brothers were going to, or joining the army to pay what debt to society they could prove he owed. He chose to re-enlist. His old commander, a fierce looking fish woman you recognised from Edge's photo's, came personally to pick him up from the courtroom, clasping a hand on the back of his neck as she led him out. Her stoic visage didn't fool you - you could almost feel her relief at his decision.

Edge spared you a smile as he passed, and a healthy glower at Sugar, whose hands were protectively laid on your shoulders. The fell pointed at his own eyes, then at Sugar, message clear: 'I'm watching you.'

* * *

The stars really were beautiful this far from the light pollution of the city. You sat on the blanket and stared at the endless expanse above you as the skeletons fiddled with the machine they had bought, adjusting wires and aerials.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Sugar asked sceptically "It seems unlikely."

"the idea is to find out, paps." Axe told him, checking the settings before pulling his phone from his pocket "comic and stretch are ready, we just need to wait for the meteors."

"Sounds like science fiction to me." the younger brother finished, making sure the wagon was steady before abandoning the machine and turning back to his camera.

"what's your exposure?"

"This one is three minutes, the next is five. You think your experiment will mess with my pictures?"

"they're just radio waves, bro, your photo's are gonna be fine."

Sugar let out an unsatisfied hum, but set the timer for his next exposure and left it there, coming over to you. For someone so big, he dropped to the ground with the same weight as a graceful feather as he sat beside you, pulling you up against him.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked.

"Dunno," you admitted "Just... processing, I guess."

"Want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing new, babe." you told him "Just how quickly everything changes."

"It certainly does!" he agreed "This time last week you were an undergrad, and now you're a plain old grad! This crazy train just keeps rolling!"

You chuckled, nestling into him. It had been a long few years, and college hadn't really been what you had expected, but you had seen it through. You owed yourself that much. Now you had a good job lined up, and never again were you required to write a paper on something and have it graded.

"Speaking of..."

Sugar sounded uncertain, flashing a look at Axe, who gave him a thumbs up from a respectable distance. 

"There's, uh... there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about." he went on "I've been thinking about it for a long time, but with you being busy at college I didn't want to interrupt, but now that's over it seems like a good time, and we've been together for a few years now so-"

"Sugar, are you asking me to marry you?" you interrupted, cutting to the quick.

His eyes shot to his brother, who immediately held up his hands.

"i didn't say anything." he swore, before pausing and squinting into his unreliable memories "i think."

"Y-yes." Sugar confirmed, trying to sound confident "Yes I am."

"Fuck."

"Fuck?"

"I owe Anna fifty bucks." you told him "I hope you're happy."

That startled a laugh out of him. You could just see Axe sighing in relief that he hadn't been the one to give it away by accident.

"You've talked about it?" your boyfriend asked optimistically "Getting married?"

"In general, no." you told him "To you, yes. Anna hasn't shut up about it for a year now."

"You're an awful tease, you know that?" he smirked, burying his face in your hair as he kissed your head "Did you talk about what you'd say?"

"Anna wanted to bet me a hundred bucks I'd say yes." you told him "But the odds were pretty good, so I didn't take her up on it. I think I could be convinced, provided you asked me properly."

Sugar laughed again, getting on one knee and pulling a ring box from his pocket. Axe gave excited thumbs up behind him. The ring was noticeably cheap, but you didn't care, slipping it onto your finger without hesitation. Sugar opened his mouth to say something you were sure he had been practising all day (mostly because you had seen him doing it while playing ball with Suzy in the garden), when Axe cut him off with a quiet swear.

"sorry, bro, shower's started." he apologised, turning on the machine they had lugged all the way up the hill.

Sugar looked conflicted, torn between the moment and helping his brother. You made the decision for him, kissing the back of his hand.

"I'm not going anywhere." you told him "Go help your brother."

"To be continued." your now fiance swore, pressing his teeth to your forehead before going to do just that.

You watched them for a moment before losing interest in their experiment, watching the shooting stars streaking across the sky instead. Just as you were lulling into a sense of existential peace, your phone vibrated in your pocket. Pulling it out, you found a video message from Edge.

A baby, only just big enough to be standing on her own, looking excitedly out of the patio doors as the stars fell in the night sky. She slapped her tiny skeletal hands on the glass and turned excitedly to the camera.

"Daddy, look!" she said with some difficulty, words being brand new on her tongue.

"I see them, baby girl." Edges voice answered, far closer to the mic "What are they?"

"Stars!"

In the background, a younger baby started to cry. A woman's voice called to Edge just the footage stopped. You couldn't help but smile, sending him a picture of your engagement ring is response.

_About damn time_, came the reply. 


	2. What if the wedding had gone ahead?

You picked dispassionately at your mashed potatoes. They were losing their appeal as you couldn't help but compare them to the slowly liquidising state of Wing, who was using what little strength he had left to glare at you. Beside you was a big pile of dust that used to be Red, while Edge had run off to try and make himself be sick, but you were sure it was too late by now

You had told Anna that you had options, things you could do, once she was out of the picture, but you hadn't gone into detail. Well, there was more than one way to be 'out of the picture', and all you had to do was wait. You could set your watch to your little sisters body clock, and as soon as the third of the month rolled around, her period started. Lacking any feminine hygiene products or any way to get them, she had locked herself in her room and refused to come out until it was over. Why wait for that?

A plausible excuse. You needed them to eat.

You had taken over all the food making duties, claiming to be bored, with nothing else to do. It fed into the fantasy Wing and Red had cooked up for themselves, and while the mastermind was suspicious for a few days, he eventually stopped checking his food for... unexpected additives. Not that it would have mattered.

You knew a lot more about poison than was average, or even healthy. Your father had insisted on it, said that subterfuge was a woman's most powerful weapon, and damn if he hadn't been right. Only an amateur would poison someone all at once - the taste alone would be a dead giveaway, and much like Edge had tried, they could vomit it all up.

Binary poisons, though? Now, those were interesting. A bit of X in the starter, a bit of Y potatoes, and they'd be dead by dessert. Harmless enough chemicals on their own, but mixed together? A little too much salt and garlic to cover the taste, and the diner wouldn't know there was a problem until it was too late. Where did you even get them on this little island? Well, a person would be shocked how many dangerous toxins could be found in their kitchens and cleaning cupboards. 

Finally deciding you weren't hungry anymore, you got up from the table, picking up the large carving knife you had bought out with the roast. You plunged it into what was left of Wing's head, finally dusting the bastard for good, and left the room, grabbing a tray from the kitchen and proceeding up the stairs. A long streak of dust on the carpet told you how far Edge had made it.

"Anna?" you called when you got to her room "Can you open the door? My hands are full."

"Go away!" the teenager shrieked "I'm not coming out!"

"It's just you and me here." you assured her "The guys have gone out somewhere."

After a moment, the door cracked open. Anna's eyes were red with tears, her face pale and fearful. She was hunched over from where her broken leg was inexpertly bound up. 

"Where did they go?" she asked quietly, as if afraid they would hear her.

"I didn't ask." you replied bitterly "I bought you dinner. I know you like roast."

You could almost see her face light up, practically drooling at the sight of it. She opened the door properly, eyes fixed on the tray as you handed it to her.

"No carrots?" she noted.

"They weren't good." you told her "And the milk needed using up, so there's homemade ice cream for dessert. Eat as much as you can for me?"

"You know what I like." she grinned, fidgeting a little "You think I have time for a bath before they get home?"

"All the time in the world." you assured "I'm going to be running the vacuum for the bit, so sorry about the noise."

"You shouldn't be doing them any favours." Anna grumbled.

"I'm not doing it for them." you finished "Eat up, I'll run your bath."

Anna hobbled carefully back to the bed with her tray, and you closed the door behind her. 

Cleaning up the dust was an easy enough task. Cautious of your sisters voracious apatite for roasted vegetables, you threw away the tainted carrots and poured the laced butter sauce down the sink. The milk in the ice cream would wash away any residual toxins she might have accidentally ingested. As careful as you had been, it was better safe than sorry. You took the entire lot upstairs after her bath was finished, and excused yourself to look through Wing's workshop for the welding tools to get the basement door open. 

By the time her period was over, everything would be ready for you to take the long walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one this time, and a bit darker than the last, but I think it's as long as it needs to be. I know that reader-chan said they wouldn't poison the food, but really, why not use an advantage you have? Especially when it's clear that no-one is coming for you.


	3. What if BB wanted to be more than friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... may not go the way you think.

It started as nothing more than a slip of the tongue. Stretch had come home from one of his dates with Happstablook, all loved up, to find you pinning BB to the floor. You weren't sitting on him directly - the diminutive skeletons bones were too fragile for that - but your human butt was planted in the space between his ribs and hips, legs draped over his spine in a way that prevented him from getting up. For his part, BB seemed to have accepted his fate, and was munching on pizza as he laid face-down on the floor.

"why are you like this?" Stretch asked.

"Shits and giggles, mostly." you responded, eyeing the TV was you chowed down on your own pizza "How was your date?"

The older brother let out a dreamy sigh, collapsing on the couch behind you like the flighty heroine of a Victorian romance, and proceeded to tell you all about it. It still surprised you that he was the romantic type, but whenever he came back from one of his dates he always smelled of flowers and fancy food. He told you about his dates mostly so the two of you wouldn't follow him again (he still hadn't forgiven you for that), but you also thought he enjoyed bragging about them at least a little bit. 

At the seventh minute of his epic retelling of the event, you were regretting even asking, but were saved by the bell - or rather the 'ding' - when he got a notification on his phone. Judging by the way his face lit up, and he immediately left the room, you could guess who it had been.

"Must be nice." you pondered.

Not that you disliked being single, but Stretch made dating look like a lot of fun.

"Yeah, must be." BB agreed, his voice so bitter you could bottle it and put it in a drink.

"Wow, okay." you noted "What was that about?"

BB let out a big sigh, folding his arms and collapsing his head onto them.

"Just once, I would like to go out on a proper date." he complained "All the ones I've had have been terrible! Remember Bruce?"

"Mr. Intense? How could I forget? I still can't have leftovers without hearing him screaming at me."

"And Beatrice?"

"The necro." you cringed, taking a swig of your drink.

"And Ashley the Evangelist, One-Night Nigel, that one who wouldn't stop crying, that one who got arrested-!"

"I'm starting to see a pattern." you agreed.

"I just want a real date!" he insisted "A little old-fashioned romance! Is that too much to ask? Flowers, and dancing, and a kiss on the cheek at the end!"

The little skel let out another miserable sigh, the light in the room dimming slightly when he closed his eyes.

You could understand his frustration. Blueberry was pretty small, especially for a monster - he was a good head and a half shorter than you - and most people didn't even realise he was an adult, let alone see him as a romantic or even sexual prospect. More than one child had nervously handed him a love letter or box of chocolates on valentines day thinking he was a kid, only to be gently turned down, and unfortunately one or two adults had made the same mistake. You weren't sure Stretch was going to bail you out until you told him why you beat the ever loving shit out of that guy...

However, you only knew BB as an adult. Sure, he was small and cute, but he could drink you under the table, and even at his size was incredibly strong. A part of you wandered if he'd have a better love life if he wasn't always hanging around with you, loitering at his place or doing some kind of extreme activity. Skydiving isn't the best way to meet potential partners.

"Alright, let's do it." you suggested.

"Do what?" BB asked, looking back at you.

"Let's go on a date."

"Ha?"

"Think about it." you explained "We already know each other, so you know we'll have stuff to talk about. I won't turn out to be a creeper, so you'll be able to relax and enjoy yourself without wondering what my angle is, and at then end of the night you know I won't expect anything."

"I dunno..." BB laughed unsurely, squirming around so he could sit up, still pinned under your legs "How is that any different from our normal hang outs?"

"Oh trust me, it'll be different. I am the _master_ of romance." 

BB couldn't help but laugh.

"You doubt me?!" you feigned offence.

"I extremely doubt you." he agreed.

"Challenge accepted!" you declared "Next Friday, prepared to be wined and dined with extreme efficiency, bitch!"

BB laughed so hard, he fell back onto the ground, only just stopping himself from smacking his head. When he finally calm down, he let out a sigh.

"I look forward to it." he said.

* * *

Papy was eyeing him seriously as BB neatened up his tie. Of course, he had told his big brother all about the not-actually-a-date with you, but for some reason he was very concerned about it. As much as you were his best friend, BB had serious doubts in relation to your romantic capabilities: in all this time, you'd never been on a date once! Sure, you never seemed all that interested in the idea, but if anything that only confirmed his suspicions!

You had told him to dress formally, hence the tie and polished dress shoes. He was going to feel a little silly hanging around Grillbys (where he'd assumed you were going to take him) dressed like this, but he'd forget about it after a few drinks.

"it's not too late to change your mind." Papy insisted "just call reckless and say you're not feeling it."

"It's already 7pm, Papy." BB reminded him "It's very much too late."

The doorbell sounded, punctuating his point. BB had to hand you this - he wasn't nervous or giddy, so already this was better than his usual dates. You ringing the doorbell was different, tough: at this point the skeleton brothers were used to you just coming in and yelling 'hello!'. He admired your restraint in not just holding down the button and letting it ring continuously as he went to answer it.

"Hey Reckless, I'm not quite... ready..."

BB was dumbstruck - you were wearing a suit, complete with waistcoat and polished shoes of the same colour. It was a retro style with suspenders and a handkerchief in the breast pocket, and you had done something fancy with your hair that made it look really classy. In short, he barely recognised you! But not in a bad way...

"No problem, B... Sans." you smiled "I can wait."

You were talking differently than usual. Lower, calmer. Again, classy. BB felt an odd pang in his soul as he invited you in, rushing around to finish getting dressed. Would a waistcoat be too much? You were wearing one, so maybe... What about some cologne? Maybe just a splash?

Five minutes later, he was completely gussied, and returned downstairs to find Papy giving you the third degree. You simply smiled patiently, but BB had known you long enough to know that mischievous look in your eyes, and he knew you were going to seriously mess with his big brother tomorrow.

"Oh my god, Papy, I'm not a kid!" BB admonished as he started to push you out of the door "And don't wait up!"

"Nice seeing you, Papyrus." you finished as if you weren't here everyday, waving at him.

Papy just grumbled, sticking his hands in his hoodie pockets. BB couldn't help but chuckle.

"Geez, the way he acts you'd think I was still in stripes." he griped anyway "Did you park far?"

You just smiled at him, cocking your head to the road in front of the house. Expecting to find your humble hatchback, BB was floored to see a fucking stretch limousine sitting there waiting for you both.

"S... seriously?" he asked nervously "You're taking it this far?"

"Guess we'll find out." was your only answer, extending your hand in offer.

Okay, he was starting to get a little nervous now. You were taking this pretty seriously, weren't you? Regardless, he took your hand, and let himself be led to the vehicle. The back door opened automatically, and you let him get in first. The interior was cream leather, with a small TV, an ice bucket full of BB's favourite beer, and an unmissable bouquet of bright blue roses. Once you closed the door behind you and the car started to move, you took the flowers from where they were sat and handed them to him.

"The second I saw these, I thought of you." you told him "They're a mix of white roses and echo flowers - they don't talk, but they do glow when it's dark."

"Oh." was his only reply as he took them, so quiet that even he hardly heard it.

"They're the same colour as your eyes." you finished.

... Was it sad that that was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to him? The fragrance coming off the flowers was amazing, and if what BB knew about roses was true, they must have cost you a fortune! And renting a limo... and that suit... Okay, he could admit you definitely had game.

This should be the point where he laughs, right? Tell you how cliche that is and to stop trying so hard? Dismiss the compliment because just yesterday the two of you had been covered head to toe in mud after playing rugby?

He couldn't, though. He was flattered. These flowers were beautiful, and that they had reminded you of him... does that mean you thought he was...? 

He was definitely nervous now. This was a side of you he'd never known about, and he was really liking it.

"Fuck!"

The sudden swear startled BB out of his thoughts, and he looked back at you to see you waving a scraped hand, the cap of the beer bottle in your hand clattering to the floor somewhere else. You seemed to remember where you were after that, looking at him sheepishly.

"I mean... oops?"

Just like that, the skeletons anxiety disappeared. You were still you, afterall. Still the same person he tripped into the biggest mud puddle he could find on the way home after the rugby match.

"And you were doing so well." he teased.

You just grinned, handing him the beer, before sitting back and turning the TV to Napstatons latest concert.

* * *

It wasn't long into the ride before BB realised there was no way you were going to Grillby's: it was only a two minute drive, hardly even long enough for a song. He wasn't concerned, though - he had been on enough road trips and long drives with you to know you weren't going to drive him into the middle of the woods and make him dig his own grave at gunpoint. Another perk of going on a date with someone he knew as well as you. As the concert on the small TV ended, the limousine came to a gentle stop.

"We're here." you announced.

"Oh my god, you planned that, didn't you?"

"Don't know what you're talking about." you answered with a wink, climbing out and once again offering him your hand. 

Getting into the spirit of things, he took it, letting you help him out of the car.

The first thing that met his senses was the crisp scent of brine and cold, layered with wild flowers. He could just hear the ocean, shushing gently a few hundred feet away. Before him stood a small hotel, the lime-washed sandstone of the facade perfectly matching the coastal surroundings. Surrounding the building was a perfectly manicured garden that was clearly cultivating the flowers native to the area, all lit up by warm white spotlights. It was the most beautiful building BB had ever seen!

"How on earth did you find this place?" he wondered aloud.

"I know some people." was your cryptic reply.

He just caught you nodding to the limo driver, who had gotten out of the cab to light a cigarette. The driver nodded back in a familiar manner, so it was safe to assume they were one of your friends. You placed BB's hand on your arm and led him up the path, in no particular rush at all, and up the stairs into the hotel. The guests who hung around the lobby were very fashionably dressed, but for his own sanity BB had stopped wondering what this night must have cost you. At the back of the hotel was a restaurant, where you gave your name to the maitre d'. It looked just as fancy as the rest of the hotel, all polished silver cutlery and crystal glasses: all the men sitting around wore suits, and all the ladies gowns and jewellery.

After a few moments, a waiter was assigned to you. Recognition lit up in their eyes on seeing you, and BB pretended not to notice when they very nearly referred to you as 'Reckless', disguising it with a clear of their throat before deferring to your given name. To BB's surprise, they led you not to a table on the dining floor, but out the back door onto the patio, overlooking the beach.

"We aren't eating here?"

"Wait for it." you said with a wink.

You followed the waiter to a fancy wrought iron gate set into an ivy-covered wall. They unlocked it and ushered you inside.

BB's breath caught - beyond the gate was a covered bridge, just big enough for two people to walk side-by-side, positively covered in light pink and white hanging flowers. What they were he couldn't say (wisteria? honeysuckle?), but the smell coming off them was gorgeous! The bridge led over the surf, and BB couldn't resist looking out over the ocean, rendered black in the moonlight.

At the end of the bridge was a small island, and on that island was a gazebo, again covered in all manner of hanging flowers. Even the gazebo itself was a thing of beauty, the natural wood columns carved into stunning art nouveau shapes. In the gazebo itself was a table, already laid with cutlery and glasses, a couple of chairs around it, and some comfortable looking loungers, moulded to the gazebo's shape, around the outside.

BB would have been happy to just sit and look at it, dumbstruck, but you pulled him up the steps and into the structure. 

* * *

"Okay, how on earth did you know this place existed?" BB asked, leaning against the wooden railing with a glass of red in his hand, digesting the amazing meal he had just eaten.

"I helped build it." you shrugged "It's usually used for weddings, but the owner of the hotel was happy to help me out in return for some remedial work on the hotel."

It was at that moment that BB realised he wasn't exactly sure what you did for the living. Were you the architect? A contractor? The landscaper? It was far too far into the friendship for him to admit that, so instead he just nodded his head and took another sip of wine.

The conversation had flowed as easily as the wine all night, but it was more subdued than usual. Everything was calm and a little flirty, the sound of classical music only just audible over the gentle lull of the ocean. The food was just as incredible as the surroundings, perfectly seasoned and not too strong, the dessert light and sweet. It was just warm enough that it wasn't uncomfortable to hang around outside, talking for hours about everything and nothing.

At about midnight, you asked him to dance. He had no idea you could waltz, and when he ended up stepping on your feet, unsteady on the loose dry sand, you just laughed and held his back tighter. After that you had both lain on the sand and watched the stars, making up your own constellations, until the wine and the late hour caught up with you. BB vaguely recalled walking back down the covered bridge, the scent of flowers all around, and getting back into the limousine, before falling asleep.

He woke up in his own bed, still dressed but for his shoes. You had definitely won the night, but the growing emotion brewing in BB's soul told him he was going to win the war.

* * *

You didn't see BB for a couple of days after the not-date. Not on purpose, but because you wanted to pay off your debts as soon as possible - you had to help your friend who drove the limo move house (complete with their three kids and army of rabbits), and a solid day and a half working at the hotel paid for the use of the gazebo and meal. The suit you had in your wardrobe from the last wedding you went to, but that had been before you even met the little skel, and you'd had no reason to wear it around him before. You'd been in touch via text, of course, but your little friend was completely normal, at least from what you could tell.

You felt pretty good about yourself after the whole thing. You helped your friend feel special, and let him know how he should expect to be treated on a date in the future. It wasn't often you got to pull out your fancy manners and get all gentle and crap, it was a nice change of pace.

Now, however, it was game night, and you picked up the usual pizza and drinks on the way to the skeleton brothers house, whistling a merry tune as you sauntered down their garden path. You had a feeling tonight would be a good night for Rocket League, but you wouldn't be against a good survival horror game after a few drinks.

"BB!" you called loudly "Can you get the door? My hands are full!"

There was a clattering in the house. Suddenly, the door burst open, a startled looking Stretch appearing. Before you could say anything, he was pushed roughly from the door frame, his brother herding him down the path you had just traversed.

"Don't mind Papy, he's just leaving." BB told you, still ushering him out "He won't be back until tomorrow."

"uh..."

"You won't be back until tomorrow." the younger brother repeated coldly, letting him know it wasn't a request.

"my shoes-"

"You don't need shoes when you can teleport." BB answered shortly, turning his back on him and walking back to you with a wide smile.

"Hey, you." he greeted in a flirty manner "Kept me waiting long enough!"

You spared a look at Stretch, who looked just as confused as you, shrugging, before putting his hands in his pockets and shortcutting away. BB held the door for you so you didn't knock your pizza about, shutting and locking it behind you. It didn't strike you as odd, as both brothers would lock the door automatically when they were both in or out for the night. 

You put the hot boxes on the coffee table, dropping the plastic bag of drinks down on the floor before taking your place on the sofa.

"So what's the order of business today, B?" you asked him "I was thinking Rocket League, but if you..."

BB was still leaning against the door, chest rising and falling like he was breathing hard. You weren't quite sure if he needed air or not, but it certainly seemed like he did right now. What stopped your tongue wasn't that, but his bright blue eye lights, especially luminous in the dimming daylight. You had seen them take shapes other than oval before - usually his famous stars - but this was the first time you had seen them become hearts.

"Uh... dude?"

The skeleton left the door, almost floating over to you. Usually, he'd already be half way through his first slice of pizza, but today he seemed completely uninterested in it. You were more than a little startled when he climbed onto your lap, looping his arms around your neck and bring his face close to yours. His eyes were still heart shaped.

"Hey," he repeated, before calling you by your given name - something he very rarely did "I had a lot of fun the other night. You really do know how to be romantic."

Oh.

OH NO.

THIS WAS NOT THE INTENDED RESULT.

Only an idiot wouldn't figure out what was going on. You had wanted your friend to feel good about himself, not fall for you!

"Yeah, it was fun to do something different." you agreed, not looking at him as you subtly tried to shift him off your lap.

His response was to shuffle even closer. If your back wasn't against the sofa, he might even have wrapped his legs around your waist.

"We should do stuff like that more often." he continued.

You felt his nasal bone brush the tip of your nose, and instinctively flinched right back. BB just chased you, keeping the lack of distance.

"I think maybe some wires have been crossed." you told him "You know that wasn't a real date, right?"

"It could be if we wanted it to be." he argued.

"Dude..."

You were silenced when you felt his tongue run along your lips. Shocked, your actually shoved him, having the presence of mind to only push him to the other side of the sofa rather than the floor.

"Okay, we are not doing this!" you said sternly "I'm sorry if you felt like I led you on or something, but I wasn't actually trying to get you to like me! You said you wanted a romantic night, and as your best friend I wanted to make that happen for you! I don't have romantic feelings for you, BB, you know that!"

You were suddenly gripped by a feeling you had experienced only a handful of times in your life - the vice grip of blue magic. You couldn't move at all as BB regained himself, feelings clearly hurt from having been pushed from your lap, and sat up on the sofa, looking up at you where you stood. His expression was difficult to read. In no rush at all, he helped himself to a slice of pizza, finishing it off as you remained frozen.

Just as you were starting to worry about his mental well-being, he finally addressed you.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking." he told you "Nobody knows me like you do. Nobody understand me like you do. We're best friends, and that was always enough for me, but seeing that other side of you woke something up inside me. I want more. I don't just want your reckless side, I want your soft side, your warm side. I want all of you."

With a gentle step forward, he wrapped his arms around you, giving you a hug. It was tender, and you felt him nuzzle your chest.

"I know you like me." he went on "We wouldn't be best friends if you didn't. We have so much in common - we could really make it work!"

You were starting to wonder if maybe he hadn't had a bigger hand in all his failed dates than you had previously thought. He looked up at your eyes, giving you the trademarked pouty face that was 100% effective at getting what he wanted from his brother, and squeezed you a little.

"I think we'd be great together." he told you "And if you don't... well, there'd better be a damn good reason."

BB stepped back, and you felt his magic release its hold on you.

"BB, that was creepy as fuck!" you told him "That is not an okay way to behave! What's wrong with you?"

"I'm in love." he answered like it was obvious "Love makes you do crazy things."

"What are you, some kind of yandere?"

"What?!" he shrieked, the spell of calmness that seemed to be over him shattering "I totally am not!"

"You totally am are! You threw your brother out-"

"So we could be alone!"

"You locked me in the house!"

"I just don't want burglars!"

"You used your blue magic on me!"

BB opened his mouth to argue, but that one seemed to get him. His eye lights shrunk as he looked thoughtfully aside. Before you could say anything else, he grabbed his laptop from the table and opened it up.

"Are you seriously googling 'how to know if you're a yandere'?"

"Shut up, this is important!"

Back in more familiar territory, you used the skeletons distraction to shoot a text to Stretch, asking him to come home ASAP. After a few minutes of completing quizzes, his little shoulders noticeably drooped.

"Oh stars, I really was being a yandere..." he realised.

"Told you." you replied, taking a swig of the drink you had opened in the meantime.

He finally looked back at you with tears in his eyes.

"I had no idea I was like this." he whimpered.

"Hey, hey, at least you realised it before it was too late." you tried to comfort him "You haven't done anything that can't be undone."

"Reckless, I'm so sorry!"

He buried his head in your lap, and you felt your trousers become wet from his tears.

"Please, help me!" he begged "I don't want to be a yandere!"

"Of course I'll help you." you assured, rubbing his smooth head "That's what best friends are for, numbskull. But no more of this being in love with me shit, okay?"

He looked up at you with a scowl, tears still bright in his eyes.

"What do you have against us being together?" he sulked.

"B, I'm ace." you reminded him "I know I've told you that before."

His eye lights extinguished, and he blinked a few times.

"Were we drunk at the time, because I don't really remember that...?" he asked.

"Probably." you shrugged.

"So... aro-ace, or just plain old ace?"

"Sans..."

"Fine, I'll stop."

Just like that, Stretch was back, even more confused than he had been when he left. You helped yourself to another slice of pizza as you readied yourself to catch him up on the situation.

* * *

That was a year ago.

BB was having trouble sleeping. The fact that there were still dirty dishes in the sink downstairs was what was bothering him, but it wasn't cool to admit stuff like that, so he just lay there stewing, distracted by the rise and fall of your chest as you slept beside him. 

Sans of the Swap clan had a way of getting what he wanted. There was the obvious - the big eyes, the pout, the baby voice - but he could be manipulative in subtle ways too. His first confession may not have gone the way he hoped, but a year later it was his bed you were sleeping in. Sure, sleeping was all you did here, but you being ace just meant that you wouldn't be tempted by somebody else, at least as far as he was concerned.

After that initial date, BB found it easy to slip little bits of romance into your friendship. A nice dinner here, a movie date there. Subtle. A gradual change. Sure, you still went skydiving and jet skiing together, but you also snuggled up on the couch and under the covers with him. He wasn't even sure if you realised the change.

...

...

He was working on the whole 'yandere' thing. He really was. You and Papy were being a big help, and he was in a therapy group. He was a little concerned that a few of his cousins had the same issue with obsessive affection... He wasn't _trying_ to be manipulative. He just knew how to get what he wanted.

And he wanted you.

And he had you.

With a knowing smile, he shifted up where he lay, pressing his teeth to your forehead.

"Love you." he whispered.

You mumbled something in your sleep. He chose to believe it was you telling him you loved him back. With a contented sigh, he gave up pretending and went downstairs to do the washing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! Hope you're enjoying this nonsense so far. Remember to like an subscribe... wait, that's a different website...


	4. Christmas? I think not. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but almost the entirety of Love? I Think Not. happened over the summer.
> 
> But what if Christmas?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't usually go for seasonal stories as they date awfully, but [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9rZVs6prXQ) has been playing at work lately, and if you can listen to those lyrics and not think of our boy Red, then you're a stronger person than I.

Day 1.

"Fucking hell, Shugs, I will pay you good money to turn that shite off."

"You don't have good money, or you'd be driving your own car instead of bumming a lift off me."

You tried to lean over yourself to turn off the obnoxious carols playing on the radio, but Sugar playfully slapped your hand away, not taking his eyes off the road ahead, before changing gear. You tried again, only for him to grab your hand and hold it up in the air. You thought you had him when you went to use your other hand, as he couldn't take his off the wheel, but he surprised you by giving your arm a sudden pull, causing you to lose your balance and use your free hand to stop yourself face-planting into his crotch.

"Stop horsing around!" Anna scolded from the back seat "You want to crash?!"

"Sorry, Anna." you both chorused like scolded children, Sugar releasing you as you sat back up.

He made the concession of turning the music down, which you begrudgingly accepted.

"Is it much further?" you asked him.

"Isn't that just another way of saying 'are we there yet?'" he replied.

"I can say that if you prefer." you teased "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Anna smacked you on the back of your head with her book. The sound it made startled Axe back into the land of the waking, but it took him a moment to figure out what was going on.

"are we there yet?"

You and Sugar burst out laughing, which only confused the poor skel, while Anna just sighed and sat back in her chair.

"I already regret coming." she lamented.

"After you begged mum and dad for two solid weeks to let you?" you reminded her "For shame..."

"seriously, though, where are we?"

"Not much further." Sugar assured him "Fifteen minutes at the most."

The skeleton adjusted his glasses, neat little braces shining in the light.

You'd never be able to thank his cousins enough for the effort they all went to to help fix his teeth - there were so many other things that they could have used that insurance money for, but instead they decided to change his life for the better. At least you'd be able to meet them when you finally got to the lodge they had rented for Gyftmas, up in the mountains outside Ebbott City.

"i'm surprised you wanted to spend gyftmas with us." Axe said to Anna "i figured it was more of a family thing for kids your age."

"We only do Gyftmas when you guys are around." she confessed "It doesn't really mean anything to us."

"huh..."

"But it's important to you." you added "And you're important to us, so we want to celebrate it with you."

"Right!" Anna agreed.

Axes smile relaxed with your explanation. With a stretch of his tired shoulders, he leaned against the back of your seat.

"so how's college going?" he asked for the fifth time since you got in the car, and for the fifth time you told him.

It was very peaceful this far into the forest, but you couldn't help be slightly on edge - you had been raised not far from there, and knew of several complete lunatics who made these woods their homes. At least they would recognise you, if you happened to run into them, but you didn't mention it to anyone else. No point getting them all paranoid.

Soon enough, Sugar turned into a side road that was near invisible from the main track, dirt compacted by the treads of tires and high trees on either side.

"If I hear a single banjo, we're going home." Anna quipped.

Sugar and Axe laughed. You kept your mouth shut.

At the end of the dirt road was a massive building, all wood and glass, with a few cars parked in front of it.

"Is it flats?" you asked, not believing this could all be one house.

"Nope, it's just that big." Sugar confirmed "Which is why we're only renting it for a week."

Anna whistled while you let out a 'damn...'. You hoped it was as nice on the inside as it was on the outside.

A streak of orange by the cars caught your attention - a skeleton stood there, slouched horribly, smoking a cigarette while looking into the distance.

"Remember what we talked about, Sans." Sugar said to his brother, who just let out an aggravated huff. 

The orange-clad skeleton looked over as Sugar parked up with the other cars, giving you a lazy smile.

"Hello, cousin!" Sugar greeted happily "So good to see you again!"

"hey, bud." the cousin greeted "welcome to the party."

"What are you looking at?"

With a quiet laugh out of his nose, the skeleton pointed to the tree line a little way away. A small, round-headed skel and another human stood there, eyes fixed on the upper branches of the tree before them.

"BB!" Sugar called "Hello!"

"Hey Shug!" the little skeleton called back, but didn't look around "I'll come say hi in a sec, I'm just doing a thing!"

You busied yourself with getting out of the car and grabbing the bags. The taller skeleton introduced himself as 'Stretch', shaking your hand with a limp wrist.

"You're going to fall." the human called up the tree.

"No way." BB disagreed.

"We're about an hour from the nearest hospital." they went on.

"It's fine, it's fine!"

"You're going to break your neck."

"Got it!" a triumphant voice from up in the tree called down.

Anna, being a curious kid, walked forward to see what was going on, but you grabbed her hood to keep her back. You were inclined to believe that whoever was in the tree probably was going to break their neck trying to get down, and you didn't want her to be right under them. A loud swear and the snapping of wood confirmed your suspicions.

BB had some fantastic reflexes, and caught the falling body with his blue magic before it hit the ground. It was another human with a half-insane grin and clutching a scarf.

"Nice!" they cried, as if they hadn't just plunged nearly fifty feet at the speed of gravity "Here you go, Sam!"

"My hero." the other human replied drily as they took it.

That idiot climbed a whole ass tree just to get a scarf?

"allow me to introduce you." Stretch sighed "this is my brother sans, but we all call him bb."

"It's short for Blueberry!" the still-floating human proudly yelled.

"Shut up, Reckless!" BB yelled back.

"and that idiot is reckless." Stretch finished "i'm sure you can figure out why."

"I have an inkling, yes." you replied.

The other human tied the scarf securely around their neck, leaving the other two to whatever game they were playing with Reckless still suspended by BB's magic. They were a very serious looking adult, with serious looking glasses and serious looking clothes.

"Hi, I'm Sam." they introduced, offering their hand "I'll be your designated adult for the next week."

That got a laugh out of you, and you introduced yourself in return. Further conversation was cut short when Reckless tackled Sam from behind, wrapping their arms around Sams neck.

"Oh fuck, there's kids here?" they realised "Hell yes, shit's always better with kids around! Anything can happen!"

Sam elbowed Reckless in the ribs, which made them let go.

"I'm in college." you assured "My sister here-"

"Hel-lo!" BB interrupted flirtily as he stopped beside his friend, blue eyes turning to stars are they lighted on Anna.

"BB, no!" Reckless hissed quickly.

"Is _sixteen_." you finished pointedly.

"Hel-lo!" BB repeated, before shooting Anna the finger guns "Platonically."

Anna burst into giggles while Reckless smacked BB on the back of the head. The small skel held up his hands in a 'how was I to know?' kind of fashion.

"It's cold out here." Sam pointed out "Let's continue the introductions inside, shall we?"

With no more ceremony, the group ambled up the steps to the lodge. Inside was suitably fancy, but in a sterile kind of way - sure, it was very nice and had everything anyone could need, but it was very obvious that no-one lived there. No photos, no clutter, nothing personal.

"How are your knees?" Sam asked suddenly.

"Um... fine?" you replied, sharing a confused look with Anna.

"That's good, because we're on the second floor." they elaborated "Sugar, you and your brother are on this floor, since the ceiling is the highest."

"I'll show them!" BB declared, placing a hand on back of Sugars legs (the highest he could reach), and herding them away.

"who the heck is that?" you heard Axe ask his brother as they were led off.

Stretch just sighed and shook his head as Reckless took Anna's bags, following Sam up the stairs, before he shrugged at you and wandered off into the house. You followed the other humans.

"There's six rooms on this floor." Sam explained as you got to the top of the first flight "Five bedrooms and a bathroom. The fire escape is on the right side there."

"If you jump out of it you can land in that tree I was in before!" Reckless interjected.

"Don't do that." Sam finished "Just to keep things simple, this is the skeleton floor."

A bit of quick mental maths told you it was going to be two skeletons to a room, since you knew there were going to be other cousins turning up as well.

"Onwards to the human floor!" Reckless declared, racing ahead.

Sam already seemed like they had had enough of Recklesses antics, sighing as they followed. Anna giggled again and grabbed your arm, leaning close.

"These guys are like chalk and cheese." she whispered to you "I wonder how they know each other?"

You had to admit she was right - while Sam looked they could easily have been a librarian, Reckless was dressed like the sight of a single flake would be enough for them to break out the snowboard.

"I work with Pap... um, 'Creampuff'." Sam explained, evidently having very good hearing "He and BB are cousins, and they currently live together, so Reckless and I happen to be in the same place every now and then."

"Pfft!" Reckless intoned "'I work with Creampuff', sure, _that's_ your primary relationship with the guys." 

Sam's ears went red, and they glowered at the grinning Reckless.

"This is the human floor." they went on, electing to ignore the taunting "Two bedrooms, bathroom, games room and home cinema."

"No way!" Anna gasped.

"Yes way!" Reckless cried, shoving Anna's bags into Sams hands "Follow me, little sister, you're gonna love this!"

Sams glowering continued until the two disappeared behind a door at the end of the hall. They turned to you with an annoyed look.

"I imagine this is what having a sibling is like." they added "One that annoys you to your very core."

"Pretty much." you laughed "But with more love."

Sam laughed quietly, smiling a little. Even that little change made an amazing difference to how friendly their face looked.

"Fire escape is on the right again," they went on "And the bedrooms have balcony's. All outer windows and doors have child locks, so push the outer button first."

They continued talking as they opened the door to one of the rooms, depositing the bags they had been given onto the bed nearest the door. From what they said, it seemed like they were an only child, but they really gave off an 'older sibling' vibe as they explained the houses safety features.

"Oh, and one more thing." they finished "How do I say this... while I know you trust your friends, and you have my word that you can trust mine, there will be some other men here that may make you feel... uncomfortable. Should you feel unsafe in any way-"

"You can relax." you reassured Sam before they got any more awkward "I'm an expert in dealing with men who make me feel unsafe."

Sams eyes darted to the side a little as they considered your words, but to your surprise their only reply was a wry smile.

"Just know that Reckless and I are only next door." they said "And we're connected by the bathroom."

You understood what they were saying, and you appreciated the gesture. 

"Before I forget," they went on "Do you need anything from the shop? There's a storm blowing in, and I don't want to risk us getting snowed in without provisions."

"Let me check out the generator first." you requested "Then I'll come with you. I suspect I'm going to be the one stuck making Gystmas dinner."

"Can't be any worse than what BB and Reckless came up with last year. Come find me when you're ready."

With that, Sam left to let you settle in. You moved Anna's bags to the bed furthest from the door, wary of the warning you had just been given. Sugar hadn't mentioned anyone like that, and he'd never put you in a situation you'd be unsafe in. Then again, he was also guilty of being a little naive... you'd have to ask him later. After getting Anna's shopping list, you checked around the house for the generator and water heaters, before finding Sam in the living room reading a book.

"All okay?" they asked.

"There's enough fuel to last about 2 month." you confirmed "But I want to get some WD40 and de-icer, just in case."

"Alright then." they sighed, carefully placing their bookmark and before suddenly shouting "Papyrus! We're going!"

There was a sudden clattering of feet that reminded you a lot of a dog at the call of 'walkies', and a skeleton who looked almost exactly like Sugar, only far smaller, appeared in the doorway.

"Ready when you are!"

As the three of you returned to the front door, the various inhabitants of the house gathered in the foyer to see you off. Or more accurately, to ask you to get things for them.

"I'm not buying you tequila." Sam told BB sternly.

"But it's not Gyftmas if you're sober!" he whined, before suddenly covering his mouth and looking sheepishly at one of his cousins "...Sorry..."

"it's alright." the cousin shrugged "you guys get me something nice to drink?"

"I have the perfect sparkling fruit juice in mind!" the skel coming with you announced "Rest assured brother, there will be plenty of non-alcoholic options to choose from!"

"love you too, paps."

Just as 'Paps' (wait, wouldn't that guy be 'Creampuff'? Did you really have to call him that?) was about to open the door, it suddenly burst open on its own, causing him to jump back.

"jesus fuck this shit's heavy!" the newcomer swore, throwing the bags he was holding on the floor as he barged into the house "ya pack half the fuckin' house, boss?!"

"Well excuse me for wanting to be prepared!" a shrill voice from outside argued back.

"Red!" Creampuff greeted happily "You're just in time!"

"Hey, skinny!" he returned, giving the taller skel a hearty slap on the shoulder "How's the weather up there?" 

Getting a good look at the guy... was he the one Sam had warned you about? He certainly stood out against the others with his sharp teeth, and his frame was much larger than the rest. He may even have been a little bigger than Axe... As the 'hello's and 'how's your mother's went around the crowd, Red's eyelights landed on you. Immediately, they retracted, raising your hackles a little, especially as his smile gave a small twitch.

"hey, i'm red." he greeted, offering you his hand. 

You were about to shake his hand when another body barged through the door, carrying even more bags as they shuffled between you.

"We're here two minutes and you're already hitting on people?!" they criticised "Creampuff, I'm sharing your room, I refuse to sleep in the same location as this horn dog!"

"We need to get going." Sam mentioned quietly.

Creampuff... fuck it, you're just calling him Papyrus, that nickname is too ridiculous. Papyrus asked BB to show the loud newcomer to the right room while you rest of you excused yourselves. To your surprise, just as you had clambered into Papyrus' car, the door opposite yours opened and Red climbed in.

"Are you coming too?" the driver asked.

"that okay with you, skinny?"

"Please stop calling me that. And yes! The more the merrier!"

"i didn't catch your name." Red said to you as the car started moving.

"Didn't throw it." you replied, making him snort out a laugh before introducing yourself properly.

"correct me if i'm wrong, but ya don't look like a skeleton." he mentioned "ya with one of my cousins?"

"Define 'with'."

Reds grin could not have been more shit eating.

"just friends, huh." he realised.

Sam loudly cleared their throat, causing the skeletons grin to fall.

"ya okay there, bud?" he challenged.

"Of course." Sam answered, eyeing him in the rear view mirror "I love watching grown ass men put the moves on college kids. It's not creepy at all."

Red grimaced as you burst out laughing.

Despite his chastisement, the conversation remained friendly enough for the 40 minutes it took to get to the closest supermarket. Red was clearly interested in you, but was cautious to toe the fine line of propriety with Sam still keeping their eye on him. It seemed Papyrus was the shy type, as you could see him smile at something that was said every now and then, but he didn't make any comment. 

"You just focus on Gystmas Dinner, Papyrus and I will take care of the rest of it." Sam told you when you finally arrived, handing you a note with their phone number on "Call me when you're ready to pay, we'll meet up again. And don't leave the shop on your own."

"god, mum, yer so embarassin'!" Red joked "i ain't a baby bones anymore, leave me alone!" 

Papyrus started snickering, covering his mouth with his hand as he wrestled with a trolley. Sam gave him a dry look, but otherwise remained unaffected.

"Call me if you need anything." they finished, looking back at you.

You just nodded, restraining a laugh yourself. Red grinned at you as the other two left, but you silenced him by shoving a trolley his way.

"Make yourself useful." you suggested.

"i'm at yer command, darlin'." was his response, spinning it around to catch the handle.

You fished around in your bag for the list as you entered the market proper, Red casually on your heels. Four humans, at least eight monsters, with the possibility of more turning up just for the day... after a little mental maths, you dropped four bags of potatoes in the cart. Three heads of broccoli, five large carrots and parsnips, two heads of cabbage and an economy bag of brussel sprouts.

"vegetarian are ya, doll?" Red asked, eyeing the cart.

"Vegetables are much cheaper to bulk up on." you pointed out "We're already getting beef, pork, chicken and fish, but to bulk out on that is going to easily triple the bill. If we're going to have enough for everyone then we need to make sure there's plenty of veg... fuck, pigs in blankets!"

Red laughed as you added what you had forgotten to the list.

"what about turkey?" he suggested.

"Turkey is a waste of money." you argued "A large chicken is the same size as a small turkey, and people can hardly tell the difference."

"ya seem pretty sure of that."

"I'm a chef."

"i thought ya were a student?"

"Still got bills to pay."

"fair."

He sauntered after you into the next aisle, leaning on the trolley as he looked around idly.

"so if yer a chef, i take it yer plannin' on cookin' for us?" he asked.

"Just Gyftmas dinner." you said "Be a bit of a busmans holiday otherwise."

"thank fuck." Red laughed "the few of us who can just about cook are never the first in the kitchen, if you get my drift."

"Having seen the shit my dorm mates make, yes."

You stopped at the fresh fish. The side of salmon was making you drool, but that shellfish was so fresh you could still smell the brine...

Wait, you were currently up a mountain. Where did that shellfish come from?

You picked up the salmon. When in doubt, avoid shellfish.

"what are ya doin' with this?" he asked.

"It's the starter." you told him "Salmon en croute with lemon and garlic butter. Fuck, dill... wait here."

You left your list with Red as you ran back to the fresh department. As well as dill, you picked up some lemons, fresh garlic, and other various herbs. You were tempted by the ready-made pastry you saw chilling in the fridge... but you had already told Sugar he could make it. You'd just pick up the ingredients. 

When you returned, Red was right where you had left him, but in the trolley were several bottles of wine.

"I'm not buying those." you warned him.

"i'll pay." he shrugged, giving you back your list "i just thought they'd go nice with yer menu."

"Are you a sommelier?

"nah, i'm a skeleton." 

You snorted out a laugh, making his grin widen, and he signalled for you to lead on.

You ran into Sam and Papyrus a couple of times as you sauntered around, making sure you hadn't doubled up on snacks and drinks. The final time, the skeleton was stopped at the beginning of the alcohol aisle, almost as if refusing to go further, watching Sam to and fro.

"ya good, kid?"

Papyrus startled, a too-wide grin covering his face.

"Of course!" he assured "Just waiting for Sans... SAM! Just waiting for Sam!"

You knew a Freudian slip when you heard one, but had the mercy to stay quiet. Remembering you needed some cooking wine, you hazarded into the aisle yourself. Sam seemed completely disinterested in that bottles and boxes around them, fiddling absently as they talked on the phone.

"Oh my god, absolutely do not do that." they told whoever they were talking to. "One cup is fine!... No, do not get a bigger cup, that's not the issue here... well, how dirty is it?... how did you? Scratch that, I don't want to know. Is your dad there? Hasn't he done laundry before?... Well, tell him that laughing is very unhelpful right now... just follow the instructions, you dumb kid!"

Well, at least you weren't the only one Sam mother-henned on. You found the wine you needed and returned to the waiting skels, pretending not to notice that Red was taking a supportive hand off Papyrus' back.

"Sam's on the phone." you reported to him "Something about a dumb kid not knowing how to do laundry?"

Confusion crossed the tall boys face for a moment, before falling into understanding, his tight posture relaxing completely. Red chuckled, whole body shaking with the timbre of it.

"that's god damn magic." he opined "got everythin' we need, doll?"

"Almost." you confessed "I still need to get my secret santa present."

Both skeletons gasped theatrically, clutching imaginary pearls. You couldn't help but laugh at how perfectly timed it was.

"Yeah yeah, I didn't put a lot of thought into it." you dismissed "But what am I going to get a guy I don't know? I figure one of those toiletry packs or something."

"who's yer secret santa?"

Not able to remember his name, you pulled the envelope from your bag and handed it to Red. His face immediately twisted to a grimace on reading it, and you heard Papyrus, who was reading it over Red's shoulder, suck in a breath.

"trade with me."

It wasn't a request.

"Seriously?"

"seriously." Red responded, shoving the envelope in his pocket "ya gonna thank me when ya meet the guy. i got comic for mine, so just get him a big ol' bottle of ketchup or somethin'."

"Please don't." was Papyrus' response "Oh, I saw that new Steven Hawking book in the entertainment aisle - he'd like that!"

"Sold." you agreed "You guys just about done?"

"Almost. Meet you at the till."

With a nod, you wandered off, Red pausing only a moment before following after with the trolley.

"don't mean to criticise yer taste, but the wine you picked is some cheap garbage." he told you.

"It's for cooking, not drinking." you informed him.

"ah. so, what's yer poison?"

"I don't drink."

"yer in college and ya don't drink?"

"You sound like my dorm mates. It's not that unusual."

"if ya say so. 'least comic has someone to be sober with."

"Not just me." you defended "Axe can't drink thanks to his medication, and then there's Anna-"

"anna?"

"My sister."

"oh?"

"_Younger_ sister."

"say no more. i'm a whiskey man, myself."

"Fascinating."

By the time you had gotten the book and headed to the tills, Papyrus and Sam were already there. Sam was still on the phone, looking more exasperated by the moment, but Papyrus had somehow managed to get them out of the booze aisle.

"Well does it _say_ it has nuts in it?!" they cried.

"Don't let the frown fool you." Papyrus stage whispered, leaning down to your level as you started to load the belt "Sam is _everyone's_ older sibling. They aren't happy otherwise." 

"Why the hell would you do that?!" Sam suddenly yelled into the phone, causing the poor cashier to startle "Tell your dad I'm going to kick his ass if you end up in hospital again over something this stupid!"

Once all your shopping had been scanned, Papyrus packing with the precision of a tetris grand master, the cashier told you the total. You inwardly grimaced, mentally apologising to your bank account. Sure, Sugar was going to go halves with you, and Sam and Papyrus' bill was going to be much bigger, but it was still a hefty amount for a college kid with a part time job.

Before you could even get your wallet out, however, Red put his card through the machine.

"Hey!" you objected.

"what?" he smirked "i said i'd pay."

"For your booze, not the whole lot!"

"but is that what i said?"

"You-!"

"You got a free dinner, stop complaining." Sam interrupted, casually pushing you aside to start packing the next lot.

Red was insufferable the entire way back, grinning if you dared so much as look at him. The sneaky bastard had planned on doing that the entire time, hadn't he? Not that you minded being saved a bit of money (a _lot_ of money), but you seriously resented such trickery!

It was already starting to snow as you pulled up the almost hidden dirt road to the lodge, making you glad you hadn't waited around. It took several trips, even with Sugar coming out to help, to get everything from the car to the kitchen. Being the most at home in the kitchen, the others left it to you to tell then where to put things. Almost automatically, Sugar took the high shelves, Sam the low ones, and Papyrus the fridge. Red took all the booze, including your cooking wine, and absconded with it. You were going to object, but Sam and Papyrus immediately insisted that it was fine. Sugar gave you a subtle nod when you looked at him, so you let the matter go.

Once everything was away, you went to find Anna. You found her in the living room with the others, who were lounging around reading, playing a card game of some kind, or in the case of Comic, sleeping. To your surprise, Anna was now wearing a chunky knitted jumper the likes of which you knew she didn't own, which hid her over-mature assets and displayed in bright red and green stripes that she was off limits. If you had to put money on it, you'd bet that was Sugar's doing. You'd ask him later. 

She was staring intently at two skeletons, who were sat on the coffee table in front of her. One of them was Stretch, although he had removed his bright orange hoodie, but the other one you weren't familiar with. From the uncanny resemblance to Stretch and Papyrus (and, y'know, being a skeleton), you could guess he was another cousin.

"You good?" you asked Anna, taking in her steely and thoughtful expression.

"I'm trying to figure out which one is Stretch and which one is Rus." she told you, not taking her eyes off them.

... Seriously? Sure, they were similar, but there were marked differences. Stretch didn't have a gold tooth, for one.

"Don't tell me!" she quickly ordered when you opened your mouth "I want to figure it out on my own!"

You shot a look at the boney pair, who gave identical amused shrugs.

"Have fun with that." you sighed, wandering off to find where Sugar had disappeared to.

You found the one downstairs bedroom easily enough, giving a knock before entering. Sure enough, your friend was there, wrapping presents on the floor.

"Don't even ask." he teased immediately "I've already wrapped yours."

"Dang." you replied with a click of your fingers "Foiled my entire plan. I thought the point of the secret santa was not having to buy so many presents?"

"It's more like not having to buy a lot presents for people you don't know." Sugar corrected "Immediate family and friends are excluded. More importantly..."

He pointed to the wall beside the door. Pushed up against it was the biggest bed you had ever seen, no doubt designed for the larger monster, with Sugars pillow and pyjamas laid neatly at the top. It was nothing short of massive!

"Oh my god." you declared, delight washing over you "I'm gonna do it."

"Do it." he urged.

"I'm gonna."

"You have to."

Kicking off your shoes, you leapt bodily onto the bed, your regular-human frame dwarfed by the sheer size of it. What was it about massive beds that was so enticing? You stretched out fully, but none of your extremities could reach the edge in either direction.

"I'm spending the rest of the week here." you joked, making Sugar chuckle "I hope you realise that."

Your friend put down his wrapping, standing only long enough to get to the bed, and laid down beside you. He only just fit, head up against the wall and feet all the way at the end.

"An extended sleepover sounds good to me." he agreed "We can do each others hair and gossip about boys! It'll be so much fun!" 

You burst out laughing before a thought occurred to you. You shuffled up the bed and lay on your back next to your friend.

"Speaking of gossiping about boys." you began "Sam said something that got me a little concerned."

"Oh?"

"That one or two of your cousins might make me feel unsafe?" you elaborated "Can you tell me a thing or two about them?"

"I can't think who Sam might have been talking about..." he pondered, before shrugging "But I can tell you, sure! That one you went with to the supermarket is Creampuff. Believe it or not, he's the youngest of us all! A little on the nervous side, but a good guy."

"I got that impression." you agreed.

"The other one was Red. He's a Fell, but don't hold that against him. Works as a tailor, I believe."

"Seriously?"

"The smallest one is BB, who's best friends with Reckless. He's a sweetheart too, as long as he takes his meds."

"Anti-depressants?" you questioned.

"You'd think so, but no." Sugar corrected quietly "Anti-psychotics. The same ones Sans takes, actually, but he doesn't want anyone to know that."

"who doesn't want anyone to know what?"

It was gratifying that Sugar startled as much as you did at the sudden voice. How Axe had managed to shortcut onto the bed on your other side without either of you noticing, you would never know. He gave you a mischievous grin, to which you could only shake your head.

"BB's medication." his brother repeated when his soul had calmed down.

Axe gave him a blank stare for a moment, faulty memory betraying him. With a shuffle of his body, he pulled one of his journals from his pocket. It was 'people i know', and he lay right at your side on his back, holding it high above you both as he found the right page. Sugar shuffled closer too, essentially making you the squishy filling in a skeleton sandwich. 

"bb...bb... oh, here he is. closet nympho, apparently."

"Sans!" Sugar scolded as you burst out laughing.

"what? am i wrong?" he challenged.

His brothers face lit up bright orange, but he didn't correct him.

"BB's older brother is Stretch, the one with the orange hoodie." he went on "He's very chill and likes cuddles."

"he's also the family drug dealer." Axe added, having found the right page "just light stuff, though."

"Rus is the one who looks like him-"

"he's the one you go to for the hard stuff."

"Sans!"

You couldn't stop laughing as the two continued in that vein, Sugar appropriately sugar-coating everything while Axe was brutally honest. They even started describing cousins that weren't there, or expected to turn up, just to keep you going.

After a while, Anna knocked on the door to let you know dinner was ready.

You soon discovered that not taking charge of the cooking had been a mistake. You regarded the mess in front of you, which Reckless assured you was pizza, with nothing but open contempt. How do you fuck up pizza? Bread, sauce, cheese, topping, pizza. What the hell was this? Anna, not wanting to be rude to your hosts, tentatively picked up a slice. Whatever that was on the top oozed off, something chunky following it. You slapped it out of her hand before heading to the kitchen to do it properly.

Over dinner, you got a proper introduction to Edge (big shrill guy), Black (little shrill guy) and Rus (hard drugs guy), and they all seemed like chill enough people. They certainly didn't concern you enough that you would feel the need to seek out an older human to protect you. Was Sam just overly sensitive?

Once the dishwasher was loaded, conversation turned to how to spend the evening. Everyone was tired from the days journeys, and didn't want to do anything that would expend too much energy. A movie seemed like the obvious answer, but then the argument was which movie? What genre?

If you didn't know any better, you'd say that arguing was the activity for the night.

"Shut the hell up, you bunch of whimpering ninnies!" Reckless suddenly declared, slamming something down on the table "I have the solution!"

They held up the item - it was a disc case, but you could tell well enough it was a video game, not a film.

"Until Dawn?" Black read sceptically.

"reckless, no!" Stretch immediately barked.

"Reckless yes!" BB gasped in delight.

"how can thirteen people play one game?" Red asked.

"This game is about choices," Reckless announced, but the devious glint in their eyes told you they had something else in mind "We can vote on it!"

There was a general murmur of assent, which was by far the closest to a unanimous decision anyone had come to. As you all sauntered up the stairs, it occurred to you that Reckless would have had to bring their own console, so must have been planning this from the start. Sure enough, they already had it plugged into the projector that powered the home cinema.

Not all that interested, you sat at the back. To your surprise, Red quickly sat next to you, flashing a grin at Sugar, who looked a little insulted that his seat had been usurped.

"sorry cuz, but ya had yer human all day." he said "gotta learn to share!"

With a disgruntled huff, Sugar stepped over you both and sat on your other side. You guessed he wasn't in the mood for sharing, as he 'accidentally' shoved Red in the shoulder as he got comfortable, causing him to fell from his seat.

Red was glaring daggers at him as he got up, but Sugar just sipped his drink and put his arm around you.

"Simmer down, you deserved that." you teased.

Red grumbled, but sat back in his seat without complaint.

"ya know what this game is about?" he asked.

"Not really." you admitted "The others seem excited about it, though."

"that's bb's default state." Red shrugged "it's cute for a day or so, then it gets real tirin'... can i help you?"

Following Red's eyeline, you found Axe sat on Sugars other side, giving Red a suspicious look.

"do i know you?" 

"i'm yer cousin, idiot."

"that's not how i know you."

"oy..." Red sighed deeply.

"Did you take your pills, Axe?" you asked.

"yes." he defended sulkily, before his face went blank "... i think..."

Sugar just rubbed Axe's back comfortingly as the overhead lights went off. Less than a minute into the game, you figured out why Reckless and BB had wanted to play it (a group of people in a lodge in the winter, with a killer stalking them. Of course). When Axe's single eye light went out, Sugar quickly shuffled him out of the room, claiming they were going to bed. You leaned into Red a little.

"Hey, what's BB's HP?" you whispered.

"why?" the Fell responded.

"Because I want to know how much of his ass I can kick before he dusts."

Red just chuckled. At the front, you could see a mortified Stretch with his head in his hands, no doubt acutely aware of the real reason the two had left. Sugar's vacant seat was immediately taken by Anna, who wasn't the best with horror.

It wasn't until Red shifted under you that you realised you had fallen asleep, and on his shoulder no less. Well, that's not embarrassing at all. You mumbled an apology, but he just smiled at you.

"sorry i woke ya." he said "i'll be ya pillow any time ya like, cupcake."

A sudden pain in your hand woke you up properly, and you found it grasped firmly in both of Anna's. Her eyes were glued to the screen as one of the characters met a grizzly death, lips tight and skin a few tones too pale to be healthy.

"Alright, that's enough." you decided "We're going to bed."

"I'm fine." your sister said, entirely unconvincingly "You can go, though."

"Yeah, no." you replied "I'm pulling out the rarely used rule of 'I'm the adult and you're the child'. Bed, now."

From the way Anna jumped up, it seemed like she had just been waiting for you to say that.

"'night, babe." Red bid as you shuffled past him.

"Don't call me that." was your 'goodnight', making him chuckle quietly.

When you were dressed for bed and the lights were off, you finally felt yourself start to relax. It had been a long day, and you had some heads to bang together tomorrow, but once that was all out of the way you could finally take the time to have some fun with your friends. You needed the calm after your turbulent term at college.

Said calm was soon disrupted when you felt Anna gently shake your shoulder.

"You... you don't think wendigo's really exist... do you?"

Your only answer was to raise your duvet cover, an invitation Anna took, snuggling up beside you as you covered her over.

"Thanks." she said.

"No talking."

"Sorry."

Tomorrow was another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I knew this would be long, but I didn't quite realise how long, so I've split it into parts. Look forward to part 2 soon! (Famous last words...)


	5. Christmas? I Think Not. Part 2.

Day 2.

You had been idling on the fine line between sleep and waking for some time when a sudden rhythmic tapping rudely pulled you firmly into the day.

Tap.

Tap.

Tap, tap.

Tap.

Tap.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" your sisters voice started to sing from the other side "Come on let's go and play!"

You fucking hated that movie. You didn't used to, but between Suzy and Anna, you must have seen the thing half a million times. Sometimes you'd be all alone in a room and just hear it start to play, like it was on constant loop in the ether of your brain.

"Go away, Anna!" you grumbled loud enough for her to hear, covering your head with the warm duvet to try and get back to sleep.

On the other side of the door, three voices burst into raucous laughter.

You had said that on cue, hadn't you?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

Wait, those voices.

With a start, you remembered that you had some asses to kick, throwing off your covers to accost your prey.

* * *

It had been a difficult night. Axe had been restless, which meant no rest for his brother either. As the dawn light gave way to the day proper, Sugar knew he would have to give up on getting any real sleep. It was a tentative knock on the bedroom door that finally forced him up, and his heart sunk when he saw Axe start stirring again. On the other side of the door stood BB and Reckless, both looking very small.

"Um... hey..." his tiny cousin started.

"Good morning." Reckless added, uncharacteristically quiet "It's, uh, it's been bought to our attention that we owe you and your brother an apology."

"Sugar, I am _so sorry_!" BB swore emphatically "I got so caught up in having fun with everyone, I didn't even think about how that game might trigger you!"

"In my defence, I honestly had no idea about any of it." Reckless said, holding up their hands "But now that I do know, I want you to know I am unreservedly sorry, and nothing like that will ever happen again!"

Well, this had your fingerprints all over it.

"It's okay, BB." Sugar said, his voice sounding far quieter than he meant it to.

"no it ain't." Axe grumbled, suddenly right behind him, lack of sleep very clear on his face "yer a jackass, b."

BB looked ready to cry, bright blue tears building in his eyes.

"I deserve that." he whimpered "But I'll make it up to you, I swear! Let me make you breakfast! You like waffles, right?"

Axe grumbled. He did like waffles. Reckless and BB continued to apologise and brag about their waffle making prowess on the way to the kitchen, Sugar following behind.

"don't do it." was the only warning they got from Stretch, who was sat on a windowsill smoking a joint just outside the kitchen door.

In the next second, the two tricksters barely dodged a frying pan thrown at them with enough force to dent the wooden floor when it landed.

"Food vandals out of my kitchen!" you barked, possibly scaring them even more than the projectile had "Out!"

"But, I-"

They scattered as you threw a metal pot at them. 

"Shug, your human is terrifying!" BB screeched as he ran.

Axe burst out laughing, and Sugar barely stopped himself.

"You have no idea." he chuckled, but the pair were long gone.

There were few people in this world that Axe let himself get close to, physically or emotionally. Between his low HP and memory issues, letting the wrong person near him could be a fatal mistake. You, however, he no longer even hesitated with. His lack of rest the night before robbed him of his manners, and he wrapped his arms around you as you stood at the hob making breakfast, putting his chin on top of your head.

"good aim." he complimented.

"I missed." you pointed out tersely.

Despite the tension in your shoulders, you didn't tell him to back off. 

"Did you sleep well?" you asked him.

"not really."

"Me neither. Hey, why don't we make today a lazy day? Watch some romcoms and eat junk food?"

"heh, you know me well."

It was only at that point that Sugar noticed his brothers speech pattern had gone back to normal. He really did feel comfortable around you, didn't he? To Sugars surprise, he found he was a little jealous. Sure, as his brothers primary care giver it was a relief to him that there was someone else he could rely on when he needed a break, but as your best friend, he felt kind of left out. That hug looked really cozy...

"You okay there, Sugar?"

Your voice broke him out of his piteous thoughts. Axe was still clinging to your back, but you had managed to turn around to face your friend.

"Tired." he admitted.

You gave him an understanding smile, one that warmed his heart.

"Why don't you pick the first movie?" you suggested "Get yourselves set up upstairs. I'll bring breakfast up."

"What about Anna?"

"She's building snowmen with your cousins. I'm not really in the mood for playing around myself."

You really were his very best friend - you were willing to put aside having fun with your sister to make sure he and Axe felt better.

He really hoped you liked your gyftmas present.

With a gentle tug on his brothers shoulder to urge him on, Sugar grabbed the duvets and pillows from their room and headed up to the cinema.

* * *

Axe fell asleep quickly, barely 20 minutes into Sweet Home Alabama. With him out for the count, Sugar changed the movie to Spy Kids 2, and you didn't have the heart to tease him about it. The tall skel was asleep too before the end, leaving you trapped between the two of them. At least you could reach the laptop to put something else on, nestling into the warm duvet.

You missed this. Being with your real friends. Not that there was anything wrong with your dorm mates or college friends, you were just... on a different level of being to them. They were typical young adults, who had typical upbringings with their typical families. Axe and Sugar, though? They were your people. People who life kicked the shit out of, but not only did they get back up after, they also flipped life off with a smile while moonwalking away.

You loved these skeletons. When Axe remembered you without having to check his journals, despite the fact you had been gone for months at college, it was a kind of touching that was difficult to put into words. You didn't give a chicken fried fuck about gyftmas - you just wanted to spend more time with these two before term started again.

"so this is where yer hidin'."

You looked around at the soft voice. Red closed the door to the room slowly to stop any sound before properly coming in. As the seats on either side of you were taken, Red sat on the floor in front of you. 

"naptime?" he asked quietly, gesturing to the other two.

"Jealous?"

"god, i am. i sincerely wish i was asleep right now."

That got a chuckle out of you.

"What about you?" you asked "Not playing in the snow with the others?" 

"eh, when ya grow up in a snowy place, the stuff loses a lot of it's appeal." he admitted with a shrug "yer sister's havin' the time of her life, though. got everyone into teams for a snowball fight."

"Sounds like her."

Red grinned at the soft tone in your voice, his eyes crinkling like a happy cat. He shuffled a little where he sat, supposedly to get a better look at the screen, but really so he was gently leaning against your legs.

"what are we watchin'?"

"Nothing, really. I've been trying to decide since these two fell asleep."

"mind if i make a suggestion?"

* * *

Ghostbusters 2 was just coming to an end when the door to the room burst open, startling a drowsy Red back awake. You hadn't realised you had been nodding off until Anna started yelling, which managed to wake up Sugar and Axe too.

"You said they weren't real!!" she cried, voice panicked and betrayed.

"Wha...? What's not real?" you asked, wiping the sleep from your eyes and stretching.

"Wendigo's!" she flustered "We found Wendigo tracks!"

"I guarantee you didn't."

"Come on!"

Anna almost stepped on Red in her hurry to drag you from your seat. It had been so nice and warm under that blanket, and even in your groggy state you mentally prepared yourself for the cold of outside. 

Whatever was going on, it seemed that playtime was over, as everyone was taking off their coats and kicking the snow off their shoes as they piled in the front door. Sam handed you your coat when they saw where you were being dragged, which allowed you time to pull on your boots before Anna started to pull you again. There were still a few people outside, stood in a circle around something on the ground. Anna pushed them aside in a way only a kid could get away with as she dragged you over to the area.

"Look! Wendigo tracks!"

You looked at where she was pointing. Sure enough, there were tracks in the ground. You levelled a look at BB and Reckless, who immediately jumped behind Stretch.

"Not us!"

"Not it!"

You just sighed, crouching down to get a better look at the tracks. They looked like they were made by a large deer or small elk, except that they were sideways.

"It's a Wendigo, isn't it?!" Anna continued to fret, grabbing hold of Stretch as well "Which way did it go?!"

"It's not a Wendigo, Anna." you reassured in a tone that left no room for argument "It's a gyftrot."

"... gyftrot?"

"It's a kind of deer-like monster that walks on all fours." you elaborated as you stood back up "They're all over these mountains. It's nothing to worry about."

"So it's just a monster? That's all?"

"That's all."

Anna almost laughed, she exhaled that quickly. Her whole body relaxed as the fear drained from her.

"Just a monster..." she repeated, before spinning around and smacking Reckless on the arm "Don't scare me like that!"

"I didn't!" they swore immediately, shooting you a panicked look.

"Anna, go inside and warm up." you suggested "You'll get sick if you're out in the cold too long."

"Okay, mum, geez." she sighed.

As if on cue, Sam called to Anna from the house, telling her about the hot chocolate that was waiting for her, and did she want marshmallows or whipped cream? Knowing her, it would be a towering monstrosity of both. Nobody else said anything as she left, the tension rising until the door was securely closed.

"Did any of you see it?" you asked seriously.

Edge, Black and Rus looked suitably sombre, shaking their heads, while Stretch, BB and Reckless looked confused.

"the gyftrot?" Stretch clarified "can't say we did."

"What's the problem?" Reckless asked.

"This gyftrot is enormous." you answered "Almost three times the size of a regular gyftrot, and none of you saw it?"

To your surprise, BB gasped in delight, quickly turning to Reckless.

"Is it another skinwalker?!" he asked, eye lights turning into bright stars.

This time, everyone gave Reckless a look, causing them to laugh nervously.

"Looks to me like the Fell gyftrot." Edge supposed "If it is, we need to be careful."

"I don't like that it was so close to the house." Black agreed.

"i don't like that none of us saw it." Rus finished.

"Let's go find it!" BB suggested "Hunting trip! Yay!"

"Yay!" Reckless agreed.

"no!" Stretch cried in the same, albeit incredibly sarcastic tone, grabbing both of them by the back of their jackets and dragging them back to the house.

Reckless had the solid build of any avid sportsperson - if they wanted, the could easily break Stretches grip, but they didn't even try. Were they just pushing Stretches buttons to ensure that BB couldn't go? Only after the front door slammed behind them did the others summon their bones attacks.

"Can you track it?" Black asked seriously.

"Can you take it out?" you replied.

That was all the confirmation either of you needed, and you started to track the gyftrot through the snow. It wasn't an easy thing to do - the gyftrots sideways hooves had tricked many an experienced hunter. You soon lost sight of the house as you followed the trail deeper into the woods, following the prints in the snow, disturbed undergrowth and scuffed trees. In general, gyftrots weren't dangerous at all - entire herds of them lived in these mountains, and while they tended to avoid people, they weren't known for violence.

Unless it was this time of year. Unless they were Fells. Then? Then you'd have better luck surviving as a BBQ sauce covered steak thrown into a pack of starving wolves. You didn't want this thing anywhere near your sister, or your friends. How had no-one seen it?

The three skeletons followed behind you silently, weapons ready. They didn't question your direction, which was a refreshing change of pace from dealing with humans. When the tracks disappeared, you took a moment to look around... there, the bushes had been disturbed. It was almost invisible unless you knew what you were looking for. You held up a fist, signalling for the others to wait, and crept forward, stalking silently through the undergrowth. 

You spotted a gyftrot, but it was way smaller than the one you were hunting. It was lain in a thicket of brush, obscured from sight, but something beside it caught your attention.

An infant. Newborn, judging by the size of it. Is that why gyftrots got so aggressive this time of year? Because it was their birthing season?

Unbalanced snow crunched under your boot, and the mothers face snapped to you in an instant. While there were far more gruesome looking monsters out there, the gyftrots sideways mouth and massive eyes would never not freak you out. It looked like something out of a child's nightmare.

You did the only sensible thing one could when confronted with a semi-sentient animal and it's baby, and backed away. The mother watched you the entire time, alert and aware. Once you were out of the bush, you turned around to leave.

"It's white." you heard a female voice whisper behind you.

You paused only long enough to let her know you had heard, before standing and rejoining the others. With a shake of your head, they knew the hunt was still on.

A white gyftrot? That might explain how the others hadn't seen it in the snow.

The thought made you stop.

The tracks had led to this clearing before you lost them.

You looked around carefully, blowing into your hands to warm them. There, in that mess of thorny brambles. Now you were looking for it, the distinctive curve of the gyftrots horns stood out against the leafless vines. Hands still at your face, you pointed with your index finger. Black, who had been the only one looking at you, understood immediately. Before he could act, you held up two fingers - wait - and pointed back at the mother and her baby. He looked confused, since you had already told them nothing was there, so you held up two fingers again, bending one over to indicate a larger and smaller being. It took him a second, but he got it, giving you a serious nod before turning to his brother. You weren't familiar with the signals he used, but Rus understood him perfectly. Black made sure he had Edges attention before he continued.

"I'll bet there's not a gyftrot within a hundred miles of here!" he suddenly bragged loudly "They must have heard that I, Sans of the SwapFell clan, former deputy-head of the Royal Guard, was in the area!" 

"As if!" Edge immediately disagreed "If anything, the reputation of the great and terrible Papyrus of the Fell clan was enough to send them running!"

What the hell were they doing? Rus seemed to know, as he lit up a cigarette in a feigning of nonchalance, but the tightness of his shoulders gave him away. You guessed you'd just have to trust them.

Immediately, the thicket of brambles erupted, scattering to dust and dry twigs as the massive white gyftrot suddenly stood, charging at you before it was even fully on its feet.

Large bones grabbed you before you could react, Edge leaping out of the way with you in his arms. Black leapt in the other direction, disappearing up a tree, leaving only Rus in the rampaging monsters path.

To your shock, he squared up, and in that moment you realised how tightly the skel held himself that he looked so slight and disarming. He was a lot bigger than he wanted people to think. Rus braced himself as if to catch the gyftrot, but the second they made contact, both of them disappeared.

"Shortcut?" you asked aloud.

"Eyes on the sky!" Black ordered.

Everyone looked up. Almost instantly, a bright beam of light shot up above the evergreen canopy.

"There, go!"

Edge took off recklessly fast, not having put you down yet. His long legs gave him the advantage over Black, but the smaller skel was a quick bastard, jumping and dodging over the underbrush. You soon came to the clearing Rus had taken the gyftrot to, and before you could object a wall of blue bones surrounded the area, pinning everyone in.

The first fucking time you needed a weapon in five years, and you were unarmed!

The gyftrot rounded on the new arrivals, sick of Rus dodging and weaving around it, and billowed frozen mist from its mouth.

"I thought I could smell bones." it hissed "Where's your cracked brother, skeleton?"

"We meet again." Edge replied grimly "Just like old times."

"Not this time." the gyftrot replied, worrying the ground with its front hoof "This time you'll DIE!"

Edge leapt away as the other monster charged him. What was it with Fells and trying to fucking kill each other?! He handed you to Rus, both jumping in different directions to avoid the gyftrot. Rus placed you in the branch of a tree, not high enough to get over the wall of bones, but enough to avoid the rampage below.

"please wait here." he said as he turned to leave, but you grabbed his coat and pulled him back around. 

"I need a weapon!" you told him "A rifle, a handgun, a fucking knife, anything!"

The skeleton seemed shocked a moment, then gave you a crooked grin, pulling out his phone to get to his inventory. From it, he pulled a rifle.

"just don't hit my brother." he requested as he gave it to you.

He shortcutted away, and you turned your attention back to the fight. You had heard about the Fell gyftrot - 'the', not 'a', for when anyone mentioned the Fell gyftrot, there was only on they could be referring to. It had terrorised the monsters of Snowdin every year, goring and maiming its way through them, until they formed actual hunting parties to take the thing down. The entire Royal Guard of Fell, a formidable force, could only reduce the casualties, and the beast always got away.

You weren't letting it anywhere near Anna.

Edge was acting almost as a matador, luring the gyftrot around the clearing as Black and Rus threw attack after attack at it. Black favoured a massive battle hammer, of course made of bones, which left craters in the dirt when it hit, but it was too slow to hit the rampaging gyftrot. Rus used a bow and bone arrows, the string blue magic, and his aim was true, but the slivers of bone weren't powerful enough to do much damage. Edge couldn't get close enough to use his sword without getting gored by the gyftrots horns, but all three skeletons were too fast for their foe to land a hit on them.

You could always wait for Rus' arrows to whittle the creatures HP down, but sitting around and watching was never your style. You checked the rifle sights, the ammo, felt the balance of it in your hands.

It would do.

You steadied yourself on the branch, bracing yourself for the recoil, and put the butt of the rifle to your shoulder. You aimed at the centre of the clearing and waited.

Edge danced through your sights. You paused a breath, then pulled the trigger, hitting the pursuing beast on the broadside of its back.

Unlike magic bullets, guns were a weapon that existed with the sole intent of killing and maiming, and to a monster, intent was everything. The gyftrot let out a deafening shriek as it was hit, probably having a good chunk of it's HP taken off. Every monsters eyes turned to you, no doubt having forgotten you were even there. You capitalised, hitting the gyftrot again. It screamed and fled, leaping bodily over the blue bone barricade.

"After it!" Black yelled.

"Don't let it get away!" Edge ordered at the same time.

They both leapt after it, the bones disappearing. Rus had the sense to come back for you, his weapon disappearing as he scooped you up.

"You have more bullets?" you demanded.

"as many as you need, sweetness."

Well, looks like you made a friend.

Holding you securely, Rus sprinted after the other two. He was just as fast as them, catching up easily. Even injured, the gyftrot was nimble, dodging and weaving around the trees and rotten logs. The guys bullets couldn't land a hit.

The beast sprinted across a road, it's massive foot landing right on the hood of a passing car, crushing it. The cars momentum carried it forward a good few feet, slowing it down and no doubt injuring it further. It still ran off, trying to shake of the injury, and judging by the shouting you heard behind you as you raced past the car, the people driving it weren't injured.

A bright flash of yellow got your attention against the greys and browns of the forest. A signpost for a local gorge, the name of which you knew well. Just like that, you knew exactly where you were.

"Drive it left!" you yelled to the others.

"That's easy for you to say!" Black protested, clearly starting to lose his wind.

"Trust me!" you answered. 

To your surprise, both he and Edge disappeared from sight. It wasn't like a shortcut, where the monster just disappeared, but like they walked through something.

Fucking magic, man.

They reappeared on the right side of the escaping beast, forcing it to turn left. Every time it tried to change the direction, you told the boys how to correct, forcing it where you wanted it to go.

Finally, the thing stopped, path blocked by a 150 foot fall into a swollen river. It and the skeletons were breathing hard, exhausted, as Rus put you back on your feet. You took the extra bullets he gave you and reloaded your gun calmly.

"Welcome to Dead Deer Gorge." you announced "Local council tried to rename the place a few years back, but it never stuck. Can you guess why it's called Dead Deer Gorge?"

The gyftrot levelled you with a look of pure hate.

"You've got three choices." you went on "Fight us, jump, or try to get over that rotten log there. A piece of advice, though? I'v never seen anything get over the log."

The gyftrot regarded the log in question. Some long-expired tree, which from the size of it might have been growing for a few hundred years before its death, crossed the gorge perfectly, but in the damp slime and moss atop it could be seen the tracks and frantic scrapes of any beast that tried to cross it and failed. The gyftrot looked back at you, and you all readied your weapons.

"Not today." it growled.

With an unnatural twist of it's body, it leapt into the gorge. You rushed forward just in time to see it hit the water. It didn't dust, unfortunately, but between it's injuries, exhaustion, and the frigid raging currant, you didn't rate it's chances.

You all watched, gathering yourselves, as it disappeared from sight.

"Now what?" Black wandered, hands on his knees beside you.

There was a pause as you considered.

"hot chocolate?" 

* * *

When you arrived back at the house, your thighs were starting to ache from the trudge through the snow. Everyone was in the living room, sat around watching Reckless teach Anna some self-defence moves. Sam was reading a book, Comic's slumbering head on their lap, but you could tell they had one eye on the event.

"C'mon, little sister, you can do better than that!" Reckless encouraged, taking her hands and positioning them into a fighting stance "Aim for the bottom of my nose, that's where it's the weakest."

"I don't want to hurt you." Anna laughed uncomfortably.

"You won't, you won't!"

"where have you lot been?" Red asked when he saw you come in, sat beside Stretch looking thoroughly disinterested in it all.

"Hiking." you answered shortly.

"hiking?" he repeated, raising a brow bone.

"Hiking."

"in the snow?"

"Yes."

Further interrogation was silenced when Anna excitedly called your name.

"How come you never taught me self-defence?" she asked.

"Because I was expressly forbidden." you told her, recalling the exact conversation you had had with your foster parents.

Anna opened her mouth, the question clear on her lips, but she seemed to think better of it. Reckless had no such filter.

"What? How bad could you possibly be?" they laughed, coming over to you "C'mon, put up your dukes, let's see what you got!"

Ten seconds later, Reckless was on the floor, gasping and panting, clutching their middle in agony. BB was soon hovering over them, Stretch looking on in concern. Anna covered his mouth with her hand, also concerned, but not entirely surprised.

"I think mum and dad were right..." she pondered.

An enthusiastic pounding on the front door grabbed everyone's attention. Everyone was here, were you expecting anyone else at this point? Papyrus went to answer it as BB helped Reckless up to sit on the sofa.

"HELLLOOOOO~!" a flamboyant voice rang out in the air as soon as the door opened "Cream, baby, it's so good to see you!"

A panicked silence swept the room, the skeletal cousins looking between each other as if trying to find the culprit among them.

With a flourish of neon blue feathers, a brand new skeleton burst into the room, going so far as to throw a handful of glitter into the air.

"hello, gorgeouses!" he greeted, his voice different but no less flamboyant than the last "how are my favourite cousins doing this gyftmas eve?!"

The silence and accusatory glances remained. Papyrus and another tall skeleton entered the room, this one dressed incredibly scantily for the weather, in what you could only assume was black latex.

"C-cousins!" Sugar greeted, picking up the baton as he got to his feet "What a pleasure to see you!"

He shot you a wide-eyed, almost panicked expression, and in that instant you knew that these were the ones Sam had been so worried about.

"Allow me to introduce you," he went on, placing a hand on your shoulder "These are my cousins, Lust and Charm."

"Oh, which one of you delicious morsels is Anna?" the shorter one asked, running a bright purple tongue over his teeth.

Sugars hand tightened on your shoulder before you could act. So that's why he had done that... Reluctantly, your little sister raised her hand. His eyes ran up and down her a moment, and if Sugar hadn't been holding you back...

"Catch up to me when you're 18, beautiful, we'll have a night on the town." he winked, before addressing the others "Someone trade secret santa's with me, what I bought is not suitable for this kid."

Anna was a smart girl, she knew a predator when she saw one. She used the opportunity to sidle up to you, wrapping her arm around yours.

"little sister, huh?" the skeleton realized, eyeing you up "of course, you're clearly the older one with a body like that."

"You must be Lust, because that was the opposite of charming." you responded. 

Lust grinned at you, while Charm burst out laughing.

"i like you." Lust opined "i like you a lot."

In a blink, Red and Axe were both on their feet, and Sugar used his grip on your shoulder to pull you back against him. Someone behind you clapped their hands in an authoritative fashion, and all eyes turned to them. Sam was on their feet, walking towards the fraught group.

"Lust, Charm, welcome." they greeted "You actually made it for once."

"Well, you guys always leave it to the very last minute to invite us, so we always have other plans." Charm explained "But not this year! We purposely kept our schedules open so we could spend the season with our very favourite cousins!"

"imagine, leaving it until yesterday to invite us!" Lust added, his overly-dramatic manner revealing that he knew exactly what was really going on "for shame!"

"i'll trade secret santa's with you." Axe offered, before realising he had forgotten who it was and looking to his brother, who nodded subtly.

"you're a good egg, you sexy beast." Lust winked.

"Hey, let me show you where you guys are sleeping!" BB interrupted, pulling Reckless up after him "Just upstairs! Come with me!"

BB led them off. Lust and Charm walked with a distinctive swish of their hips as they followed them, very noticeably checking out Reckless's ass. Everyone froze until they were out of earshot.

"what the fuck?!" Red swore quietly.

"why did you invite them?!" Comic added.

"i didn't think they'd come!" Stretch promised "i just invited them so they wouldn't feel left out, i didn't think they'd actually show up!"

"So this is your fault." Sugar surmised.

"shug, i wouldn't have told you to bring your friends if i thought they'd turn up!" he went on "i wouldn't expose a sixteen year old kid to those horn dogs!"

"that's-" Red started.

"I believe you." you interrupted, startling them all.

Stretch looked shocked, but happy. You really did believe him, and the reason for that was BB - not only was he very childlike, up to the point where Stretch felt the need to protect him despite being an adult, but Axe had called him a 'closet nympho', so spending any amount of time with such overtly sexualised skeletons would only end badly. 

You turned to Sam, who adjusted their glasses uncomfortably.

"Straight talk, how bad are they?" you asked.

Sam sighed through their nose, considering your words.

"Are you in danger? Probably not." they admitted "Do those guys have a hard time with the word 'no'? Unfortunately, yes. You just need to be firm, like disciplining a dog."

Anna's grip tightened on your arm. Sams gaze softened when they turned to her.

"You'll be fine, sweetheart." they swore "They recognise you're a child. As bad as they are, they're not _that_ bad." 

"Do not take off that jumper anywhere but our room." you ordered her anyway.

"I swear, I never would have invited you if I knew they were coming!" Sugar assured you "And I certainly wouldn't have let you bring Anna!"

"It's alright, Shug." you sighed "What's done is done. We just have to figure out how to deal with it."

You already felt a migraine building. Sugars large thumb rubbed supportively on your back, while Red ground his teeth, eyeing the way Lust and Charm had disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens! Like I didn't have enough characters to keep an eye on!
> 
> Don't forget to leave a review!


	6. Christmas? I Think Not. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So [this](https://kassymalone.tumblr.com/post/189779986343/so-fangamer-recently-launched-an-official) happened...
> 
> On a completely unrelated note, check out [zwagyzonks](https://zwagyzonk.tumblr.com/) latest pics for some quality content of the Horror boys!

Dinner was a simple affair - pasta, garlic bread, vegetables. God knows you'd be spending enough time in the kitchen tomorrow. Despite the simpleness of the meal, your temporary house mates couldn't be more complimentary, and there wasn't a single swipe of sauce or crumb of garlic bread left at the end of the meal. Your cooking wasn't anything great, so it made you worry about what these skels were eating on a regular basis. Lust and Charm had some... interesting compliments for you, comparing your cooking to various kinds of orgasms. You ended up covering Anna's ears and glaring daggers at them until they stopped. 

Just like last night, the conversation turned to the nights activity. This time, however, it was solved very quickly with a suggestion from the newcomers.

"poker." Lust suggested "since we have some scores to settle from last time."

"you can't play poker with this amount of people." Red pointed out.

"I have no interest in playing." Sam elected.

"But you have _the best_ poker face!" Reckless argued.

"What are we playing for?" Sugar asked, his retail salary not nearly generous enough for games of chance.

Lust and Charm shot each other sly looks before looking back at the group around the dining table.

"clothing."

"We're out." you said immediately, grabbing Anna's arm to take her upstairs.

"With exception of Anna." Charm replied as if it was obvious.

"I really don't want to see you all naked." Anna agreed, her sixteen year old mind not nearly ready for that amount of naked man.

Papyrus let out a string of stuttering, but no actual full words, to the point where Comic ended up patting his back supportively.

"alright, alright." Lust conceded "we don't all have to play. anyone who doesn't want to can go upstairs and play videogames like the child they are."

"I have more in my bag." Reckless told Anna "Non-horror ones. Go ahead and take a look."

Anna nodded, but wasn't on her feet nearly as fast as Papyrus was, who at least had the manners to hold the door for her. Surprisingly, they were the only people to leave.

"Everyone else find a partner, then we'll have the perfect number of players." Charm finished "I'll get the cards."

"who needs a run over of the rules?" Lust offered.

You and Sugar immediately rock-paper-scissored. One of you would have to partner with Axe due to his memory issues. Sugar won with rock to your scissors, and used his win to chose to be his brothers partner. Axe was naturally happy with this, but it left you with a conundrum - who were you going to partner with?

BB had wasted no time jumping into Reckless's lap - literally - to discuss their strategy. Rus and Stretch sealed their deal with a fist bump before slouching next to each other and lighting up a cigarette each. Black and Edge loudly stated their desire not to see each other naked, so teamed up in order to win. Comic predictably teamed up with Sam (the only thing you'd ever seen him do yet), sitting between their legs. You were starting to understand Reckless's previous teasing, especially as Sam wrapped their arms around his middle and whispered something in his ear, making him chuckle.

Options quickly dwindling, you stood up to find a partner. You quickly felt a hand on your waist as Charm sidled up to you.

"Want to team up, beautiful?" he asked with a wink, and for the first time you noticed his eye lights were a hot pink "But I have to warn you, I am _awful_ at this game!"

Before you could even open your mouth, your soul was turned blue and you were pulled away, deposited in Red's lap as he put a protective arm around you. The stink eye he was giving Charm was borderline feral. For his part, Charm just gave a coy smile before returning to his brothers side.

"don't worry, doll, i got yer back." Red reassured.

You took up the deck of cards Charm left on the table, and proceeded to cut and deal them like a Vegas cardsharp. Red's shock was delicious.

"I think you'll find it's me who has your back." you replied.

You weren't kidding. You didn't have a tv growing up, since your father was convinced that the government was using its radio waves to control peoples minds... no, you weren't kidding about that either. He had taught you to play all sorts of card games, but poker seemed to be the favourite of paranoid survivalists across the mountain range.

You all started simple - watches, gloves, shoes and socks - but you were soon wagering for larger items of clothes, such a shirts, shorts, and hoodies. Reckless was right - Sam had an impeccable poker face, but you could see from the disinterested glint in their eyes that they didn't really understand the game. Sans, still sat between Sams legs, had a pretty good poker face too, but had the giveaway of tapping either Sams left or right hand, depending on what move he thought they should make.

BB and Reckless were already in their underwear. Not that they were getting bad cards, but neither of them had ever heard of subtlety - BB's eyes burst into stars upon seeing good cards, and Reckless couldn't help but grin. Rus and Stretch were both shirtless, but also both high as a kite, giggling like idiots at nothing. Turned out those weren't regular cigarettes. They still had any clothes left at all mostly due to luck.

This disgusted their brothers, who had shed only their gloves, scarves and boots as yet, but their loud bickering about what to do next was a dead giveaway to what cards they had. Lust and Charm just retained their knowing smiles, no bothered at all by their states of undress - probably because they hadn't been wearing all that much to begin with. 

You hadn't moved from Reds lap, idly kicking your one sockless foot, while Red had forgone the whole starting small thing and removed his shirt. He realised quickly that you had everything in hand, and was content to watch quietly with his head on your shoulder. The mounting pile of clothes on the chair beside you only confirmed that this was the correct decision.

"Be honest, you're counting cards, aren't you?" Sugar asked, squinting at you suspiciously.

"Shut up and give me your shirt." you replied.

With a sigh, he went to remove his t-shirt, getting it as high as his head only for Lust to suddenly let out a loud whistle. He immediately pulled it back down.

"And you've ruined it." you grumbled at the violet-eyed skel, throwing your cards on the table.

"not playing anymore." Axe agreed, getting up from the table "gimme my jacket back."

"oh don't be that way!" Lust teased.

"I believe we're going to 'be that way' too." Sam added as Sans shuffled off their lap.

"I'm fucking freezing, dude!" Reckless agreed, making BB giggle as they cuddled him roughly.

There was a general murmur of agreement as cards were put on the table and chairs pushed back.

"i was just joking!" Lust insisted "don't take it so personally!"

Sugar could take a joke - heck, you had catcalled him more than once yourself - but his immediate negative reaction told you that Lust was protesting too much. You went to stand up yourself and retrieve your sock from Rus, only to find yourself pinned in place by Red's large arm.

"ya don't have to move just because the game's over, sweetheart." he purred in your ear.

You grabbed his pinky finger and bent it all the way back, causing him to yelp and release you. You stood up like nothing had happened, but heard Lust and Charm snicker behind you.

"It's getting late." you pointed out "Tomorrow's gyftmas, and I've got an early start. I'm turning in."

"Us too." Sugar agreed, hand on Axe's shoulder.

Haphazardly dressed, Reckless hauled a too-stoned-to-walk-straight Stretch to his feet and half carried him to the stairs. While Black shook his head disapprovingly at his brother, he did ask a reticent Edge to help him to the bedroom. You thought nothing more about it as you went upstairs to bed.

* * *

As a professional chef (haha, 'professional'), you knew how long things would take to prep and cook. You were used to making a lot of food, but you usually had more than one 4-burner hob and oven to work with, so you had to take that into account when planning how to tackle gyftmas dinner. The sun wasn't even up yet when you got up, Anna still sleeping soundly with her mobile in her hand, and padded silently out of your room.

You startled a little when you opened the door - slumped against the wall beside it was Red, arms crossed, very clearly asleep. What was he doing? Did he think he was guarding the room? He was doing a pretty lousy job if that was the case. In the ajar door of Reckless and Sams room, you could just see the back of another skeletons head. You'd put money on it being Comic. You closed the door to your room and headed down the stairs, cursing the cold as you descended.

Another surprise awaited you on the ground floor - Lust and Charm, sat in the living room with an entire bottle of prosecco each, and you could tell from their state of (un)dress that they hadn't even gone to bed yet.

"Hi?" you greeted.

"good morning, starshine!" Lust greeted, toasting you with his champagne flute "merry gyftmas!"

"Merry Gyftmas." you returned "What are you two doing up?"

"Trying to decide where to put the pickle!" Charm confessed, holding up a glittery glass pickle ornament "No matter where on the tree we put it, someone it going to have the advantage!"

Ah, you'd heard of this game.

"Well, who do you guys want to win?" you reasoned "And don't give me any of that 'fair play' nonsense either."

Both skeletons burst out laughing, clearly drunk as a skunks.

"i knew there was a reason i liked you!" Lust barked.

"What are you doing up so early, gorgeous?" Charm asked.

"If any of us is going to eat before midnight, I've got to get started." you shrugged "Only one oven."

"Ooh, are you a chef?!"

"I am."

Both skeletons bounced up excitedly, following you to the kitchen. Luckily for you, they sat themselves around the kitchen island, out of your way, and you started to take out the ingredients you needed first.

"you're sugar's human, right?" Lust asked.

"I'm his best friend." you replied.

"i have to know, is the big fella in proportion?" 

"I've never asked."

"not friends with benefits?"

"Sugar's too much of a sweetie for that." Charm knew.

"i'd have him in my coffee any day."

"Please stop." 

Lust just giggled at you, waving coquettishly. They drank in silence for a while as you preheated the oven.

"So, you on the market, beautiful?" Charm asked.

"Am I dating anyone? No." you answered "Am I looking? Also no."

"Focusing on your career?"

"Not especially. It's just not a priority for me."

"God, I envy you." he sighed miserably "It feels like I've spent my entire life looking for love!"

"you'll find it, bro." Lust assured, probably the least objectionable thing you'd heard come out of his mouth "a drop-dead sexy hunk of man like you? you'll be beating them off with a stick soon enough."

"You really have a way of ruining things, you know that?" you told him.

Lust gaped at you while Charm immediately covered his mouth to stifle his laugh. The shorter brother looked like he wanted to bite back, but seemed to think better of it, his eye lights quivering a moment. You waited for a response one way or another.

"okay, straight talk." he decided, face completely humourless "one bitch to another - stay away from red."

"Oh?" you challenged, raising an eyebrow.

"listen honey, we like to tease stretch and rus about being the family drug dealers, but we both know you don't take that attitude with real pushers."

"Red's in the game?"

"nothing i can prove." he admitted, holding up his hands "but i will say that edge gets very chatty when he's drunk. if even a little of what he says is true, red is a very dangerous man."

"He seems to think the same of you." you countered.

That got a grin out of Lust.

"yeah, i saw him camped out in front of your room when we went exploring." he chuckled, running his tongue over his teeth "i admit that i'll fuck anything with a pulse capable of consent, but i've never hidden that. red, though? what's he after? i don't think it's just a roll in the hay."

"I think that's enough." Charm suggested, taking the prosecco bottle from his brother "We should take a nap before the others wake up."

"want to come to bed with us, dollface?"

"Thank you, no."

"can't blame a guy for trying."

* * *

Red's plan hadn't exactly gone to ... well, plan. He had intended on being awake when you left your room, and give you some suave line about making sure those two perverts didn't try anything on you and your sister. His nature got the better of him, though, and he of course fell asleep. He only woke up when his brother kicked him roughly, shaking his head at the confused and drool covered mess before him.

You had been up for hours already, cooking up a storm. The entire house smelled delicious, he genuinely couldn't wait for dinner. Before dinner, of course, came breakfast, so after a quick change of clothes, he headed down to the kitchen. He might even offer to help you cook - he had no idea what he was doing, but you seemed to like being in charge, and he'd be lying if he said he minded.

He stopped when he got to the dining room, not sure what to make of the scene before him - Reckless and BB were wielding metal dustbin lids, one of which had a knife embedded in it. Rus and Stretch were calculating odds and collecting wagers on the other side of the room. Anyone with a brain was staying well away from the kitchen door, but it was attracting some worried glances.

Anna sauntered into the dining room, clearly mostly asleep, and waddled into the kitchen with no issue. It was kind of cute the way she called your name like a little kid before asking you what was for breakfast.

"I'm going for it." BB whispered.

Before even Stretch could react, a knife flew out of the kitchen door, missing the diminutive skels head by millimetres and embedding itself in the dining room wall. He and Reckless were out the door, makeshift shields clattering to the floor, in a blink. Rus and Stretch paid out to the winner.

Red took the risk of peaking into the kitchen. Sugar was making some kind of pastry on one counter, Axe asleep as he sat at the island, Anna settling onto the stool beside him. You were whisking something in a bowl, your back to the door. Those apron string really showed off your figure...

"everythin' okay in here?" he asked.

Immediately, there was a knife to his nose hole. You looked at him with a glare that was both ice cold and blazing hot, not even blinking as you held the knife to his face.

"No food vandals in my kitchen." was all you said.

He was so fucking turned on right now.

That also explained why BB and Reckless were persona non grata - there was no-one in the world that the term 'food vandal' described better.

"just want a cup of coffee and a slice of toast." he swore.

"Brunch will be ready in half an hour." Sugar told him "Please be patient."

He was getting pretty sick of that giant freak interrupting. However, he held his tongue and smiled.

* * *

Brunch was a welcome distraction, and the fact you didn't have to make any of it was a nice touch. Your boy Sugar was pretty good when it came to sweets and pastries, and for some reason you could never pinpoint, Axe made the best coffee you'd ever tasted. The food vandals sat as far away from you as possible as you ate, keeping one eye on the knives in your arms reach.

The only apology was offered by Sugar, who explained you weren't a morning person, but never went as far as to say 'sorry'. As a survivor of a severe famine, you were sure your friend had the same opinion of wasting food as you did.

"okay, i'm going to be a total whore and suggest we open our presents now." Lust said once everyone had finished eating.

"Oh, _now_ you're being a whore?" Charm teased.

"Too early for your bullshit." Black grumbled as he got up from the table, a statement you felt on a deep level.

To keep things interesting, you started with the secret santa presents. They were an interesting mix of humorous, inappropriate, and 'what the hell do I get this person I barely know?'. Comic liked his book, but guessed immediately who gave you the idea. It turned out Axe's secret santa had been Edge - since he had swapped with Lust, the tall skel ended up pulling a... very esoteric sex toy from a velvet bag, holding it at arms length between his thumb and forefinger, his face a picture of confusion and revulsion.

"What is that?" Anna asked, completely innocently.

"Nothing, read your book." you told her, shoving the pages of the novel she received up in front of her eyes.

"Oh, this one is yours!" BB announced, picking a tiny box from the pile and approaching you carefully "... Please don't stab me." 

"Stop acting like I'm a demon." you grumbled.

"Yes, master."

Everyone had a giggle at that. You took the box from him, having a look over it to see if you could guess who it was from, but there was nothing personal to give it away. Just a box. A ring box, by the look of it. If it was, it was a big one. You untied the white satin ribbon and swung open the lid. 

It was indeed a ring. The no doubt glass jewel was coloured pink, and was almost sarcastic in size - you thought it might feel like wearing in ice rink on your finger. It was always a gamble buying someone jewellery, even if you knew them well, and whoever had picked this out really had no idea what you liked.

However, it was a gift, and while tacky costume jewellery wasn't your thing, you had better manners than to scoff.

"Wow, this is something else." you opined, taking the ring from the box and slipping it on your finger (probably the only time you would before taking it to the charity shop) "What do you know, it actually fits. Thank you, whoever this was."

"Ooh, let me try!" Anna begged, tugging on your sleeve.

You handed it over. If she liked it, she could have it. Since gyftmas was more of a monster thing, the two of you hadn't bought each other anything.

The rest of the present opening was the usual affair, and the skels opened the gifts from their brothers and friends. You got Sugar a [rainbow flip sequin scarf](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0014/4270/9564/products/image_d2578aef-f4c0-4394-9b9f-2b507279ce29_1024x1024@2x.jpg?v=1569861048), to which he gasped in delight and immediately put it on, and Axe was just as overjoyed with his red leather journal with his birth constellation debossed on it. The first note he wrote in it was the you bought it for him. Everyone else? You were making them dinner, that was enough for people you barely knew. 

Reckless and BB got Stretch a ticket to go skydiving, to which he responded with a strained smile. Sam and Papyrus exchanged books while Sans snuggled up under his new blanket. Black and Rus were acting very clandestine in the corner as they exchanged gifts, while Lust and Charm were still bothering a very bothered Edge about his secret santa gift, offering to show him how it worked. 

"Hey, could you come back to our room with us?" Sugar asked quietly, sharing a look with Axe "Our present is a little... personal."

"Lust and Charm personal, or Black and Rus personal?"

The brothers exchanged a look.

"Second one."

You got up from the sofa and followed them, ruffling Anna's hair slightly - she was happy enough reading her new book. Maybe she could form a book club with Sam and Papyrus. In the room, Sugar softly closed the door to reduce the noise as Axe found the wrapped present on the beside table.

"Are you sure this isn't Lust and Charm personal?" you teased "Because this whole scenario is very suspicious."

Axe chuckled while Sugar flicked the back of your head before sitting next to his brother on the bed facing yours.

"This... may take a little explanation." he started "It's more of a monster thing, but it's very important to us."

You sobered. If it was serious to them - even serious enough that they preferred to do it in private - then you would take it seriously too. The brothers looked between each other as if picking their words.

"You are so important to us." Sugar started.

"you don't even know." Axe agreed.

"You're my best friend."

"ditto."

"There are no physical goods that can properly explain how we feel..."

"and if there were, we couldn't afford them."

"So... um... you trust us, right?"

"Of course." you replied, despite how suspicious that sentence sounded.

"Have you heard of soul bonding?"

"...Yes...?"

"well, there's a different version." Axe told you "the same kinda thing, but between family rather than lovers."

"You guys consider me family?" was your takeaway.

"yes."

"You're that important to us."

You were flattered, of course, even if your stomach had done an uncomfortable flip at the whole 'soul bonding' thing. That you were special enough to them that they wanted a piece of you with them always touched you deep within your core. That little voice of paranoia in the back of you head that sounded oddly like your father told you not to, but... fuck that voice. You loved and trusted these guys, and you knew how hard it was to express how much a person could mean to you.

"What do we need to do?" you asked.

The nervous skels before you grinned. Axe opened the box in his hands, revealing three crystal hearts, two upside down, and placed it on the ground between you all before taking your hand. Sugar took the other, and his brothers, completing the circle.

"I'll take the lead." he said "But if you feel uncomfortable and want to stop, just tell me, okay?"

You nodded. You felt them both squeeze your hands.

The room grew dark. Two monster souls appeared before you - they shone a dull white, and were covered in cracks, but you couldn't help but think they were beautiful. They were your friends, the very core of who they were, all their strength and frailty, all their joys and memories.

"Okay, here goes." Sugar said quietly.

You felt something deep within you pull. What little light was in the room was immediately dyed a bright pink as another soul stuttered into the room - yours. For the first time, you understood what people meant when they said human souls were stronger: while Sugar and Axe's souls looked beautiful and fragile, like the petals of a white rose, yours was bigger, brighter, and more solid. Like a large, heart-shaped light bulb.

"you owe me twenty bucks, paps." Axe said suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"I really though it would be courage." Sugar sighed.

"What? What's courage?"

"your soul trait." Axe went on "it's 'love', and you have a bit of 'kindness' in there too."

"Oh, cool." you laughed "You thought I would be courage?"

"You don't think you're brave?" Sugar asked.

"Not really."

You felt a pulse of emotion from the other souls - reassurance. Somehow, you felt like you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. The bizarreness of the feeling startled a laugh out of you, making the skels smile again.

"You felt that?"

"it's cool, huh?"

"It is." you marvelled "What do we do now?"

"concentrate on your feelings for us." Axe told you "bring them all right to the surface. we'll do the same."

You did as asked. The pink light of your soul grew brighter, making Sugar and Axe shudder. You stayed silent for a few moments before a sigh from Sugar signalled the end of the ceremony, all souls disappearing back into their respective bodies. We weren't quite sure what that had all been about, but if sure felt very personal. Axe let go of your hand and retrieved the box from the floor: the crystal hearts, previously clear, now shone in orange, blue and pink.

"It worked!" Sugar gasped in delight.

"can never be sure with humans." Axe explained to you, picking out the right-sideup one and passing it to you.

You weren't sure what to expect as you took it, but noted the metal loop at the top that would allow you to put it on a necklace. The three colours mixing and shining as you examined it in the light were undeniably breathtaking, and you were glad you were able to do it right. Whatever it was. You would have put money on messing it up somehow.

You felt another pulse, much weaker, but still noticeable, coming from the crystal in your hand. More reassurance. You couldn't even begin to explain how, but it felt like your friends.

"Can you guys... feel my emotions?" you asked.

"Not directly." Sugar assured you, already tying his crystal around his neck "When we focused on our feelings for each other, we trapped them in the crystals. By holding them close to you, they react to your soul, and you can feel what we feel for you."

"try a different emotion." Axe suggested, struggling with the chain on his.

A different emotion? You thought about something that made you angry, something that twisted you up inside so badly it made you want to cut a bitch. Almost immediately, you felt the crystal react - you felt Sugar trying to soothe you, Axe trying to cheer you up.

The thought then occurred to you - not only did they want to keep a piece of you, but for you to have a piece of them. A gentle pulse of 'here I am!' radiated from the crystal, dispelling the lonely feeling that was threatening to intrude on you. Despite yourself, you teared up a little.

"Do you like it?" Sugar asked gently.

"I love it." you replied completely earnestly "This is the best gift I've ever gotten."

The boys smiled at you like a bright spring day, handing over the last of the chains they had prepared. You felt insanely loved, and you understood why they had been so nervous about you liking your gift.

'I love you too!' the pulse told you, the two tiny voices in perfect sync.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, all you readers out there! To those who don't celebrate it - have a good day anyway :) I flew home last week to spend some quality time with my family (I took my niece to see Santa, she was so happy!), but since I have to work this week I'm spending a quiet day with the cat. I received an Alphys and Mettaton Ex figure, so now I only need three to complete my collection!
> 
> One part to go in Christmas? I Think Not., officially making it longer than Thoughtless and Reckless! XD Please accept this little fic was my gift to you all, and please consider leaving a review in return!


	7. Christmas? I think Not. End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one...

You hummed tunelessly as you cooked. You could hear the others arguing in the next room over the boardgame - most likely monopoly - but it was all in good spirits. Coming from such a large family, so many different personalities mixing together... what must that be like? It was just you and your dad before your foster family, and despite how it felt when you were all crammed in that too-small house, it wasn't a big one.

The storm Sam had promised on your first day here had arrived at full force, blocking out the windows in a flurry of blinding white, the whistle of the wind between the trees low and loud. The cousins that might have turned up just for the day had already called out, since apparently even shortcutting in this weather was a dangerous idea. Not that you minded - it just meant you had leftovers to last the rest of the week, and in your opinion there was more than enough people in the house already.

You were drawn out of your musings by a tired sigh and the shuffle of feet. Comic ambled into the room, hands in his pockets, looking a little lost.

"You good there?" you asked him.

"they broke out the booze." he shrugged "i thought it best to remove myself."

"How long have you been sober?" 

He levelled you a searching look, silently asking who told you, but it was your turn to shrug.

"All the clues were there, no-one outright said anything."

"huh... you and i haven't really been properly introduced, have we?" he realised "i'm sans, 'comic' in the present company."

You shook the offered hand, officially introducing yourself in turn.

"in answer to your question." he went on "a few years. it's just harder this time of year."

"I can imagine." you sympathised "My dorm-mates have been driving me nuts all month with their drinking because 'the holidays are coming'."

"not a drinker?" he noted.

"Sober as a priest on Sunday." you admitted "I don't like the idea of being out of control of myself."

"sounds fair. need a hand?"

"Sure - potatoes still need to be washed and peeled."

Rolling up his sleeves, Comic washed his hands and got to work. He looked so very similar to Axe, you guessed he had the same kind of drive and mobility - sure enough, his thick fingers made dealing with the potatoes just difficult enough to keep him occupied.

"so, you're sugar's human, huh?" he said by way of small talk.

"So, you're Sams monster, huh?" you rebutted.

This seemed to have the desired effect, as he looked confused a moment, mulling your words over.

"that's what that sounds like..." he realised "don't think i like it."

"I'm getting pretty tired of it myself."

"start over?"

"Sure."

"how long have you been friends with my cousins?" 

"About three years now." you answered "Since Sugar came to work with me."

"i'm glad." he replied earnestly "we were all worried when they suddenly upped and moved away, but it's good to know they're doing well. take care of them, okay?"

"Of course."

You fell into silence for a little while, Comic washing spuds while you put the finishing touched on the coolie for the dessert.

"so about red..." he started.

"What about him?"

Comic looked at you nervously, lowering his voice just in case the noise in the other room died down.

"i'm not going to tell you how to live your life, and i know he's got a thing for you, but... i think you'd be better off staying away from him."

"You're the second person to tell me that." you admitted, matching his volume "Something I should know?" 

"he's not a bad... that is to say," he corrected, and you took notice of him not being able to finish that sentence "i think he's on his best behaviour since so many of us are around. doesn't want to cause any problems in the family, you know?"

You nodded to indicate you understood.

"that being said, he can be incredibly manipulative when he wants something. if you're into him, then I guess just bare that in mind."

Manipulation was something you knew a thing or two about, unfortunately. You thought about the words of your therapist, who your foster parents had sent you to after you went to live with them - why would a person lie? What do they have to gain, or lose?

Red was easy to read - he clearly had an interest in you. Lust, who had told you to stay away? He seemed to have a carnal interest in you, but you didn't think that was because of you: a nickname like 'Lust' isn't earned easily after all. And now Comic. What did he have to gain from lying, or not?

"Are you and Red close?" you pried.

"kinda." he shrugged "it's weird. we're close enough that red doesn't want me to know what a manipulative bastard he can be, but distant enough that he doesn't realise i already know."

"How manipulative are we talking about, exactly?"

"he wouldn't hesitate to get me drunk, if i had something he wanted." Comic knew immediately.

So immediate, in fact, that you got the impression he was speaking from experience.

You thought about your trip to the supermarket, how Red had comforted a clearly distressed Papyrus when Sam was spending too long in the spirits aisle. How he had immediately absconded with the alcohol when you got back so it wasn't an easy temptation for someone fighting it's siren song. If Comic was uncomfortable even being in the same room with it, then it was clearly a struggle for him. Even after all that, Red would be willing to get his cousin drunk to get what he wanted out of him?

Comic had nothing to gain from lying to you. He seemed like a laid back kind of guy, and the two of you had barely spoken the past few days. What did he have to gain from telling the truth?

You felt a little pulse from the crystal around your neck. Sugar believed in you. Axe trusted your judgement.

"Thank you." you said to Comic "I appreciate you telling me the truth about him."

The skeleton gave you a small smile before changing the subject, and the two of you ended up chatting casually about your younger siblings as you cooked.

* * *

It was Rus that first noticed the movement in the trees. The storm had died down just enough to make out the hazy black lines of the trees that surrounded the house. Tiny flashes of colour stood out on the monochrome landscape - trainers, snow goggles, a backpack. Noticing him so pensive, Black soon came over to see what the problem was. With a beckon of the diminutive skels head, Edge and Red joined them.

"what's up?" Red asked.

"Men in the trees." Black told him seriously "Around seven, all armed."

"bad intent." Rus grumbled, eyes fixed on the tree line.

They were all wearing masks and camo, and were a mix of human and monster. What did they want? Were they planning on robbing them? The skels weren't going to make it easy on them if they were.

What were they going to tell the others? To expect a fight? And what about the humans? Fuck, there was a kid with them too!

"Sugar's human is familiar with is area." Black remembered, backing away from the window "I'm going to consult them."

With no further ceremony, he left for the kitchen, ignoring Red's protestations on getting you involved.

"what's up with you and them anyway?" Rus asked, at the limit of his curiosity even as he kept one eye on what was happening outside.

"what do ya mean?" Red replied, and Rus could immediately see him throwing the metaphorical walls up behind his eyes.

"i mean, i've seen what you bring home after a night out." he elaborated "isn't sugars human pretty much the exact opposite of your type?"

"the doll ain't sugars human." was his only response "they're just friends. besides, ya know there's a big difference between what yer willin' to put yer dick in and what yer willin' to put a ring on."

"You have a way with words as always, brother." Edge grimaced, most likely adding that to the long list of things he wished he could unhear.

It wasn't the crudeness that caught Rus's attention, though.

"put a ring on?" he repeated "you've known them all of three days."

"ya don't believe in love at first sight?"

"you're unbelievable." Rus scolded, finally turning his attention away from the window "is that the line you're going to use on them? if you think they're that stupid, then you really misjudge them."

"hey!" he objected.

"hey nothing." the taller skel interrupted "it's bad enough you're playing this game at all, but that you'd do axe and shugs this way? your own cousins? they've got nothing, and you're still trying to take things away from them. a greedy ass like you doesn't share."

A more heated argument was stopped in it's tracks as Black arrived with you. You had taken the apron off, but were still wielding what looked like a very large knife. Rus had been so busy confronting Red that he hadn't noticed other people were now looking out of the windows facing the same direction - Creampuff had his hands on BB's shoulders, looking over him, while Stretch had a firm grasp on Recklesses arm. Sam had gone pale as a sheet of paper, while Lust and Charm looked out in only mild interest. The figures had now emerged from the tree line, and were lining themselves up around the house.

They cut an intimidating figure, decked out like serial killers with masks and weapons to match. Those weren't costumes, either, but well hewn clothes. The way they rounded the house, keeping the same amount of distance from each other the entire way, suggested to Rus that these people had done this before. He took note of the weapons - machete, hunting knives, guns-

"Oh for goodness sake." you sighed wearily, snapping him out of his thoughts.

_That_ was your response to this? 

You little sister seemed just as confused, calling your name fearfully as you went to the front door and pulled it open.

"Thomas Heuvelt, you take off that stupid mask and get your ass home before you catch hypothermia!" you yelled into the forest "Again!"

"Pumpkin?!"

One of the masked men removed their coverings to get a better look at you, as if not believing his ears. Rus was shocked when he broke out into a wide grin.

"Pumpkin, it is you!" he yelled.

"Don't call me that." you grumbled at him.

"Guys, call the old man, tell him Pumpkin's come to visit!"

In an instant, the tense, fearful atmosphere evaporated completely, replaced by one of complete confusion. The would-be attackers all took off their masks and all but galloped to the door you were stood in front of, calling your name, welcoming you home, saying how much you'd grown since they had last seen you. You just looked annoyed, arms crossed over your chest like a disapproving matriarch.

"What were you all doing out there in this storm anyway?" you demanded.

"We were going to rob you!" the one apparently named Thomas announced happily "It's our little gyftmas tradition, whoever rents this house gets a special visit from us."

"Stop that immediately, you fucking psycho." 

He just laughed, ruffling your hair, before the group invited themselves in.

Things after that were... no less confusing. Rus had gotten the impression you were a local, but he didn't know you were _this_ local. Any plans to rob or terrorise the house disappeared as the group sat themselves around the table and helped themselves to drinks. While it was an imposition, Rus did prefer it to a battle. Reckless and BB made friends immediately, of course, with a rightly concerned Stretch hovering over their shoulders. Black and Edge remained on high alert, while Red seemed unusually nervous, sat on the corner of the table sweating to himself. Sam seemed somehow less concerned that before, but still uncomfortable, trying to ignore the jolly snowdrake sat next to them by burying their head in their book. Anna disappeared into the kitchen with you, and Comic and Creampuff were right behind her.

It seemed the group had invited themselves in for dinner, but you didn't try very hard to get rid of them. Not that you were going easy on them as you started to bring out the food.

"Ash, wash your goddamn hands, you're putting me off my dinner. Jason, no knife games! Freddy, I sear to fuck if you don't use a fork I'm going to stab you in the neck!"

Somehow - and Rus could really only put it down to gyftmas magic - everyone relaxed enough to eat together. The mountain dwellers were a jolly bunch of hard drinkers, and now they had decided not to kill anyone they made it their mission to make them laugh. Just as the starter was finished, the front door slammed open, a large man looking all around before spotting you. A grin lit up his face as he called your name, scooping you straight off your feet into a tight hug.

"Dad, wipe your bloody feet!" you scolded "And close the door, I'm not paying to heat the forest!"

The mountain men just laughed, but your father did what he was told before pulling up a chair at the table and helping himself to the main course.

"Hey Red," he greeted "You brother not with you?"

Red grinned anxiously, backing away a little.

"nah, he was workin'." he admitted quietly.

"How do you know my kid?" your father asked, his voice carrying a dangerous undercurrent that dared him to say something he didn't like.

Red just stared to sweat profusely, unable to back away any further, but you broke the tension by placing a beer in front of your father.

"He's Sugar's cousin, dad." you scolded "Now stop being a bully or I'm kicking you all out."

Your father grinned at Red, cogs turning behind his eyes, as the skeleton bothered his collar. It seemed Lust and Charm had finally found a target in your father, planting themselves either side of him with 'come hither' stares, immediately raising his hackles.

What an interesting gyftmas. Rus sat back, lit up a cigarette, and tried to get into the spirit.

* * *

Sweet holy fuck you were stressed. The last thing you needed was all your fathers psycho friends turning up for gyftmas dinner. As nice as it was to see your father, you could have done without the idiot choir drinking all the booze and eating what could have been your leftovers. You hadn't realised how cultured you had become until you were stuck around the dinner table with these savages, making a mess and turning the air blue.

You felt a constant wave of soothing and reassurance from your crystal, not the gentle pulses of before. Your friends realised quickly how stressed out you were, helping to clear away dishes and pick up broken glass before anybody got hurt. Papyrus and Anna disappeared quickly after dessert, going up the cinema to avoid the group, and Stretch eventually dragged BB and Reckless up there too. At about 9pm, the group decided it was time to leave, and you couldn't have been more relieved.

"Bye, pumpkin! Come visit us more often!"

"Stop calling me pumpkin!" you argued.

"Thanks for having us!"

"Your cooking's really improved!"

"Go home! Your drunk asses will be lucky enough not to break your legs in this dark already!"

Your father loitered a little longer, giving you a long hug and saying a proper goodbye. It really had been nice to see him... watching their backs retreat into the night left you feeling a little bittersweet. You had known those gun-toting survivalists your entire life...

Then you turned and saw the mess that was still left at the table, and the nostalgic feeling disappeared. You slammed the door shut and locked it behind them. Axe and Sugar, both with arms laden with dishes and tea towels, exchanged a look with each other before dropping their burdens and readying their arms for the hug you desperately needed. You all but fell into Axe's chest, as he was the closest to your size, but felt both pairs of arms wrap around you, Sugar encasing his brother as well.

"I think I might just scream." you warned them.

"Please don't, they might come back." Sugar joked.

"at least you got a proper family gyftmas." Axe reasoned, patting your back "every cloud and all that."

You hit him lightly on the head. With zero intent behind the action, it didn't shave a single point off his low HP, but did make him chuckle.

"I need a shower." you lamented.

"We'll finish tidying up." Sugar offered, letting you go "We'll get the others to help, it won't take long."

Sure enough, Sugar followed you up the stairs, kicking open the door of the cinema room unceremoniously.

"Alright, you lazybones, get your asses up and earn your dinner!" he yelled, making you laugh.

A hot shower was exactly what you needed. Between the early start and the unexpected guests, you were left tired and sore and really wanting to go to bed. You didn't think the others would mind if you turned in early.

When you got out of the shower, you found a note on your bed in Anna's handwriting, asking you to come downstairs to play a game. You would just have to go down and make your excuses. Hair dry and dressed in your pyjamas, you wandered down to find the kitchen and dining room completely spotless, not a speck of dirt on the floor or crumb on the table. You had to hand it to the skeletons - they really did know how to clean.

You found everyone else gathered in the living room, sat around bunched onto chairs, lounging on cushions or sat in laps. It looked very cozy. Before you could make an excuse to go to bed, Anna jumped up from her cushion on the ground and handed you a glass.

"We're playing 'never have I ever'!" she announced excitedly.

_"You're_ not." you corrected. 

"wow, honey, have a little faith in us." Lust teased "even we're not going to give alcohol to a sixteen year old. anyone who doesn't want to drink alcohol doesn't have to."

You looked at Sugar, who nodded, Axe flashing you a thumbs up. Anna waited patiently, knowing you would give in as long as she didn't kick up a fuss. You sighed, knowing full well she was right.

"Fine." you grumbled, taking the drink "Ten minutes. I see any alcohol in your hands and you're grounded."

Anna let out an excited squeal, giving you a quick hug and sprinting over to the drinks cabinet.

"Alright, ladies, pick your poison!" Lust announced, getting up from his seat.

There was almost a stampede, the guys were running over so fast. You stepped back to where Sam and Reckless were sat, watching the scrum with amusement.

"Huh..." you noted "The guys really do look alike, don't they?" 

"Well yeah, they are cousins." Reckless pointed out, popping the lid on their beer with the bottle opener on their key chain.

"It's more than that." you pondered, taking in how Comic, Axe, BB and Lust were almost identical but for differences in their height and build "It looks more like they're different version of the same person..."

Sam and Reckless looked between each other.

"You've had a long day, haven't you?" Sam asked.

"Lemme have that drink, okay?" Reckless teased, reaching out to take the glass from your hand.

"Ah, fuck you both!" you groaned, making them laugh as you sauntered back over to the sofa Sugar and Axe were sat on.

You saw Comic wander back over to sit by Sam, handing them two glasses. Sam tasted them both before handing one back to him. Testing it for alcohol? Anna noticed you seeing this, and offered up her own for you to test. Just lemonade. You patted her on the head as you gave it back. Anna was very young for her age, she wasn't nearly ready for drinking. Feeling a gaze on you, you looked around to see Red trying to bore holes in you with his eyes, whiskey and ice in his hand.

"You do business with my dad, huh?" you asked.

He immediately looked away at your reproachful tone. As well he should.

"Are you a survival nut too?" Anna asked, completely innocently.

"no no, my brother is a scientist." Red told her "he buys stuff from him sometimes."

Both of you looked at Edge, who was sipping on something bright green from a martini glass.

"Not me." he dismissed with a wave of his hand.

"our other brother." Red explained.

"What does your dad sell?" Anna asked, looking up at you.

"Explosives, mostly."

Anna laughed. She thought you were joking.

You were not.

You looked back at Red, who again avoided eye contact.

"Why didn't your brother come along?" you asked "Since he's so familiar with the area."

"gasters aren't invited." Stretch interrupted, sitting down on the floor beside Anna.

"Gasters?" Anna asked.

"the guys named gaster tend to be... problematic." he explained carefully.

You saw the way his eyes flashed quickly to Comic and Papyrus, but said nothing.

"even if they aren't downright terrible, they tend not to be great people." he went on "my father, for example - he decided he'd rather spend the day with his latest fuck-buddy than come to my college graduation. multiply that by my entire childhood, and you get a less than great relationship."

"That's awful!" your little sister sympathised, laying a hand on his arm.

"He gets worse!" BB added bitterly, jumping in Reckless's lap as the ice cubes jingled in his glass "The last time we saw him, his latest squeeze was the same age as me!"

"Ew!" Anna recoiled.

"Very ew!" BB agreed.

"alright, ladies!" Lust announced, taping his cocktail glass with a teaspoon "who needs a runover of how this game works?"

Anna threw her hand up. Lusts eyes turned to stars at the sight, revelling in her enthusiasm.

"alright, gorgeous, just for you." he said with a wink "whoever's turn it is says 'never have i ever something something', and if you _have_ done it, you take a drink. for example, never have i ever... um... fuck, what can i say with a kid around?" 

"Never have I ever fallen in love." his brother provided.

A few people took a sip of their drinks.

"just like that!" Lust laughed "you got it, sweetheart?"

"Yup!" Anna assured "Who's turn is next?"

"Let's go clockwise." Charm suggested "Stretch, you're up!"

The orange-clad skeleton thought for a moment, swirling his honey brown whiskey.

"never have i ever... followed someone on a date just to flick elastic bands at them." he finished, locking eyes with his brother and Reckless.

"Oh come on!" BB objected.

"Too specific!" Reckless agreed.

"Shut up and drink." Sugar teased.l

They both shot him the stinkeye, but both drunk nonetheless. 

"okay, i'm up." Lust announced, tongue running over his teeth "never have i ever wanted to jump sugars bones and ride him like a cowgirl."

Sugars mouth fell open while Axe choked on the air. Lust wasn't starting small.

"save me the mental image." Red grimaced "someone else take their turn so i can drink that thought away."

Lust just grinned at him before locking his eyes on Sugar and taking a drink. So did Charm. So did you.

_That_ got his attention.

"Really?!" he gasped.

"I knew it!" Anna cried.

"What can I say man, puberty's a hell of a thing." you dismissed, distracted by the odd taste of the drink.

Not that it tasted bad, but it was a little bitter, and had a slight burn on the roof of your mouth and throat. What kind of juice was this?

"never have i ever wanted to punch lust in the face." Stretch said quickly.

Everyone drunk, including Charm. Lust just grinned and shrugged.

"Never have I ever fallen in love at first sight!" Anna quickly followed.

Charm, Red and Rus drunk.

"Never have I ever made someone watch the same movie twelve times." you said.

"Hey!" Anna objected, but you just grinned.

Anna, Edge and Black drunk.

It was Sugars turn, but he was still staring at you, dumbfounded. Axe elbowed him in the ribs to get his attention.

"Never have I ever... thought it might be nice to start a romantic relationship with a good friend." he decided, looking right at you as he took a drink.

Comic, Sam and BB took a drink as well. You felt your face heat up, wishing you had just lied, before taking another drink. Sugars grin nearly broke his face.

The first round continued in this benign manner. BB and Reckless had either done a lot of stuff, or were lying to get drunk faster. You were willing to bet it was a little of both. It seemed like the cousins weren't trying to open any old wounds, as they picked their questions carefully.

Most of them, anyway.

"never have i ever eaten human flesh." was Red's opening gambit, eyes locked on Sugar and Axe.

"dude!" Stretch admonished.

"That's uncalled for!" Black agreed.

Axe and Sugar drunk. So did you.

"Ew, really?!" Anna cried.

"You've met my dad's friends." you pointed out "Does it really surprise you that one was a cannibal?"

"But why did _you_ eat it?!" she asked.

"I didn't know what it was." you shrugged.

"Never have I ever wanted to move on from anything more than this." Charm announced loudly, taking a drink.

Everyone but Axe and Red joined him. As the alcohol loosened everyone's common sense, the 'nevers' got more antagonistic.

"never have i ever gone wendigo hunting." Stretch said at his turn.

"You're doing this on purpose!" BB argued before drinking.

"Never have I ever had a massive crush on my best friend!" Anna announced excitedly, turning around to look at you.

BB drunk, as did Lust. You lifted your glass to your lips, watching your sisters eyes light up, before flicking her on the forehead.

"You'll never know." you teased.

"Cheating! Cheating!" she declared "Take a shot!"

"Shan't."

"Never have I ever been a massive troll." Sugar sighed.

"Hey, it's my turn!" you laughed, making everyone else laugh as well.

You were feeling a little lightheaded - you must be more tired than you thought - but somehow you didn't really mind. Everything just seemed a bit funnier. So funny, in fact, that you didn't notice Axe looking Red right in the eye and saying

"never have i ever sold hard drugs."

or the tense silence that followed. You were too busy moving your head from side to side to better experience the bizarreness of the lightheadedness. You did notice Sugar put his arm around you, so nestled into his side.

"Never have I ever shot a man in the head!" Black quickly yelled before downing the rest of his drink.

It's after that that things got a little fuzzy. You finished your drink, and Anna jumped up to get you another one. Everything was pretty funny, and you were having a lot of fun. You were very tried, and it was loosening your tongue. You think you might have gotten up to sing at some point, but you weren't entirely sure. Sugar had his arm around you all night, keeping you close. Oh wait, that was Axe's arm, wasn't it? Whatever, he was your friend too, and you loved him just as much. You loved everyone really, there wasn't nearly enough love in the world.

Anna's hair smelled nice. When did you start hugging her? Whatever, she was soft, and the way she laughed made her jiggle. Lust wanted a hug too, but he could go to hell, oversexualised pervert. You'd stabbed people for less. He was a jerk. You know who else is a jerk? That RA in your dorm building who keeps creeping on the girls. You're definitely going to stab him when you get back to school. You know who else needs a stabbing?

Suddenly you were throwing up, leaning over the toilet. When did you get here? Who hand was that on your back? Whatever, you were too tired to care. You slipped to the floor as your mind finally gave up from a long, stressful day.

* * *

You woke up with the worst headache of your life. It felt like there was cotton wool stuffed in your head, slowly pushing your skull apart, and your throat was as dry as sandpaper. The only thing worse than your headache was your breath, which was so foul you could practically chew on it. You weren't getting sick, were you? You shuffled on the bed, limbs heavy, and were both highly uncomfortable and the most comfortable you'd ever been in your life. There was something long and hard lain over you, and it took your aching mind a moment to figure out what it was.

Sugar was lain on the bed next to you, sleeping lightly, arm wrapped loosely around you. You had been stripped down to your underwear, but as you were wearing one of your friends shirts as pyjamas and could still taste the rank aftertaste of vomit in your mouth, you could guess why. Your stirring woke Sugar from his slumber, and he came to his senses much faster than you had.

"Morning." he greeted "How are you feeling?"

"Like death." you admitted, voice hoarse as you buried your head in the pillow "Do I have food poisoning?"

"you have a hangover, sweety." you heard Axe say on the other side of the room.

"I don't drink." you grumbled, pulling your covers over your head.

Sugar just waited, patting your back every now and then, while the wheels turned in your compromised mind. The final cog clicked into place, and you threw the covers back as you sat up.

"Son of a bitch!" you yelled.

And immediately regretted it, as the pain in your head exploded, leaving you able to do nothing but hold it in your hands as your friends rubbed your back and cooed assurances in quiet voices.

By the time you made it to the kitchen, Sam and Papyrus were packing up the remnants of a late lunch. Anna nearly bolted from the room, but was caught by Comic and Reckless, who marched her right back. She physically shrunk, unable to look you in the eye, and laughed nervously.

"Never have I ever got someone drunk without telling them." she said, before making a drinking motion with her hand.

A part of you was relieved that it was only her, and not one of the more suspicious residents, that had gotten you drunk, and that you had good friends around to keep you safe. However, that didn't make it okay.

"Give me your phone." you ordered coldly.

She did, wincing a little as she reluctantly released it. You walked over to the window, opened it up, and threw the phone out as hard as you could. Anna physically flinched when she heard it smash against a tree.

"I deserve that..." she said through gritted teeth.

"Anna," you all but growled, rubbing your sore head "Where do I even start with all the things that were wrong with what you did?"

"Save it for the car." Sam suggested, bustling into the room with an armful of plastic bags "I just got off the phone with the weather service - the storm has lulled, but it's not over. If we're not off the mountain by 5pm, we'll be snowed in for the next two weeks."

You gave a weary sigh, not up for this, but you had to admit she was right.

"Go pack." you ordered Anna, who immediately sprinted from the room.

"Don't be too hard on her." Reckless urged, holding up their hands "Kids make mistakes, you know?"

Comic didn't say anything, but patted you on the shoulder as he passed.

The whole lodge was a flurry of activity as everyone gathered and packed their belongings, dodging around each other with various levels of hangover and regret from last nights game. With her phone destroyed, Anna resorted to writing down the phone numbers of the people she wanted to keep in touch with: Papyrus seemed like a good influence, but you were going to have to tell your foster parents if she insisted on being pen pals with BB and Reckless...

As you were packing up the car, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Red gave you a little wave as you turned to face him.

"mornin', cupcake." he greeted quietly "how ya feelin'?"

"What do you want?" you grumbled, still very not in the mood for people yet.

"not a morning person." he joked "noted. anyway, i was hoping i could get your number? i'd really like to stay in touch, maybe get to know each other a bit better."

He smiled in a way that you were sure was supposed to be charming, but with your hangover still pulsing away in your head, you weren't even close to humouring him.

"I bet I know why they call you 'Red'." you answered.

That confused him, and he didn't seem to know how to respond.

"um..."

"It's because red flags start flying whenever you open your mouth." you told him "I know you think you're being charming, but honestly the whole 'dark and mysterious' thing is just even more suspicious."

"i-"

"Not finished. You've done business with my father, and that tells me more about you than I would ever care to know. You're going to claim your brother is a 'scientist'? Don't make me laugh."

"that's-" 

"Don't interrupt." you scolded "You think you're so smart, but you're not smart enough to realise that people can see right through you - you've got a long way to go before you're half as sneaky as you think you are-!"

You were cut off as you were picked up, suddenly lifted up to the level of Sugars shoulder.

"I think you made the right decision by choosing not to drink." he mentioned "It really doesn't agree with you."

As Red was pulled away by Edge, still opening and closing his mouth like a shocked fish, you realised that Sam was locking up the front door, everyone saying their goodbyes as they got into their cars. Sugar leaned down to drop you into the front passenger seat of his truck before closing the door and walking around to the drivers side.

"sam packed you some brunch." Axe told you, leaning over the back of the chair and handing you a bag "for the trip."

"Looks greasy." you cringed.

"it'll help, trust me."

As Sugar climbed into the car, your phone went off. You had messages from a contacts you definitely didn't put in your phone yourself:

TheHandsomeOne: call me.

You looked around. Rus saluted at you with two fingers and a sly wink, before driving off. Embarrassing.

Black_the_Terrible: I LIKE YOUR STYLE! WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS!

PapyrusTheTerrible: I want that salmon recipe. If you give it to me I promise not to give my brother your number.

BEEBEE: We should go skydiving!

Reckless: hey karaoke queen, come on the lash with us anytime ;)

Sam: Sorry, they're going through your phone. I tried to stop them, but they can teleport. Sorry again.

You sighed, turning your phone off.

The snow started to fall gracefully to the ground as Sugar pulled out of the driveway to the bumpy mountain road, the radio whining in complaint a moment before some top 50 something-or-other of the year.

Next year, you might just stay at college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was determined to finish this in a month so it didn't go over the season, and as it is now new years day, I'd say I succeeded!
> 
> Happy New Year, everyone! Hope you had a good Christmas/week off/business as normal, delete as appropriate. Here's looking forward to more of this nonsense in the year to come. Remember to leave a comment if you liked this short story, and I'll see you in the next chapter of Love? But What if?


	8. What if Rus hadn't had such pure intentions?

Papyrus of the Swapfell clan liked to keep things simple. The world was such a complicated place, it really gave him a headache. Why make things harder than they have to be? His wants and needs were simple: his brothers success and happiness, and a pack of cigarettes - he could always bum a lighter off someone else, after all. That was enough for him, just doing what his brother wanted day after day, year after year.

Then he met you.

A love soul.

Now, Rus was a person of many quiet skills, and the one he was secretly the most proud of was his ability to learn from other people's mistakes. In this case, Red's.

Red was probably his polar opposite in the 'keeping it simple' category. It was like he went out of his way to make things as complicated as possible, which in Rus's opinion was one of the reasons his cousin was in prison. That whole mess he went through with you had become a legendary headache for monster-human relations, even if the majority of the press was more focused on Wing's drug operation getting taken down.

Rus wasn't going to make the same mistake. He didn't believe in love at first sight, or destiny, or soulmates, or any of that crap. He would call himself a nihilist, while you seemed to be more of a pragmatist, which he could definitely appreciate.

It didn't bother him that you were pregnant with another monsters baby - he strongly believed that the parents who raised a child were more important than the parents who birthed them, it was just a happy accident if they happened to be the same people. That you didn't know about the pregnancy yet didn't surprise him, since human souls overpowered monster ones so easily: if not for that tiny speck of pale yellow standing out against such a vibrant pink, he wouldn't have known either.

You accepted his friendship easily. He was able to gel with you without trying too hard. You were simple to understand, but that wasn't an insult - everything you did had a reason, a point. The bumper book of puzzles you got at the supermarket? To keep his brother busy so he and Edge wouldn't be arguing the entire journey. Simple, clever. That gambit with the cops in the parking lot? Taking advantage of visceral human squeamishness. It worked.

Rus didn't believe in love at first sight. A week stuck in car with you? That was different. By the time the rescue team arrived in the town Axe and Crooks were being held captive, he had already decided to make you his.

You found the building housing them pretty easily, and by now you trusted Rus enough not to question where he was every second of the day. All he had to do was shortcut into that basement when his cousins were alone, and in the spirit of keeping things simple, ask them politely to give up on you. Crooks - _Sugar_, he had to keep reminding himself - of course refused, and Axe wasn't in a state to say or do anything, but most likely would have refused as well.

So Rus burned the building down.

It was a shame, really. He had been rather fond of those guys.

You had gone ballistic, naturally. Rus had never seen someone build explosives as quickly as you had, or plant them with such cold-blooded intent. By the time they left the town, most of it was on fire, in pieces, or flooded with sewage, an option Rus had never considered before. A few select people you had just shot in the face - he guessed you blamed them personally for the loss of your mates.

You cried the entire way back to the border, wrapped up in a tight ball. You let Rus comfort you, but Red couldn't even look at you without you biting his head off. With the emotional turmoil you were going through, you might just kill him too, so he wisely kept to himself.

Rus knew that look in his eyes, though. He could see the wheels turning, see him scheming up something. Was he going to try and escape? Abscond with you to god knows where?

Rus couldn't allow that.

Back at that ratty hotel, they got you to go to sleep finally, Edge lying with you to comfort you while Black stood watch. Rus took Red out, obstensively to get get food, under cover of darkness. He waited until they were a good distance from the hotel before dusting him. He was so convinced he had Rus figured out, he never even saw it coming. The taller skel took the magic-suppressing cuffs and dusty jacket back to the hotel, explaining that Red had tried to escape, and Rus did what he had to do as a man of the law.

Black hadn't even considered he might be lying. Edge nodded sadly, taking his brothers jacket to remember him, and accepted the sad truth as Rus presented it. You hadn't had much of a reaction, probably still numb.

It was the very next day after crossing back over the border that you went into labour. It was a difficult birth, but at least you were in a monster hospital, where you could be properly taken care of. Rus was with you the whole time, holding your hand, reassuring you, keeping you lucid. You had a beautiful baby girl, with the brightest eye lights he'd ever seen. 

It didn't take much to convince Black to go back to that cushy little farm to help take care of you. They were due some leave, and he couldn't help but feel responsible for their failure to rescue the fathers of the new born. The townsfolk were nice people, and Rus even got used to the sight of them eventually. His brother was a natural with the baby, which everyone found surprising. A good thing too, since losing Axe and Crooks had made you relentlessly overprotective of her, even in your weakened state. Rus had to talk you down from a fight more than once.

Rus didn't try anything. You were grieving, of course, and the added stress of a new baby was never to be taken lightly. He knew a good relationship was build on a foundation of trust and mutual respect, after all, so he approached everything he did for you as genuinely as possible. He took care of the baby because she needed taking care of, not because he thought it would make you like him more. He helped you because you needed to be helped, not to earn himself any future favours. He cheered you up because he liked the sound of your laugh.

Black soon figured out his feelings for you, but didn't disapprove. Rus thought he may never forget the sight of the Magnificent and Terrible Sans of the Swapfell Clan, Deputy Captain of the Royal Guard, bottle feeding a tiny baby on a plush cushion while trying to have a serious conversation about respecting Axe and Crook's memory.

Your human family came to visit, and the whole town held a memorial in the skeletons honour. However, your family had their own lives, their own jobs, and couldn't uproot themselves to the middle of the sticks to help you out. You refused the offer to go stay with them, determined to stay where your reminders of your loves were closest. That didn't stop you crying the entire night when they left. 

As weeks turned into months, things only got harder for you - all the little things your mates had done for you, the things you had done for them, stood out like thorns across the path of your life, just waiting to slice you as you passed by unawares. You still grabbed 3 cups when you went to make tea, and burst into tears when you found you had run out of vegetables, so used to Axe bringing them in from his garden.

Rus did what he could. He couldn't replace Axe and Crooks, and he wasn't going to try. He didn't know shit about farming, but he could build a watering system and hire some guy to tend to the field once a week. He couldn't build you a crib from scratch like Crooks (_Sugar_, he reminded himself again, less and less these days) could, but he could pay Jack to do it, or put together one of those flat packs. 

Black eventually went back to work, but Rus bowed out. His brother understood completely, content that you weren't being left alone during the day.

As your isolation increased, so did the chance of you rebounding, seeking out any adult affection you could find, out of desperation if nothing else.

And you did rebound.

_Hard._

Luckily, Rus was there to catch you, because that's what friends do. He talked to Grillby about getting you back into work, at least part time, and made sure you left the house at least once a day to be around other people, even if it was just up the shop, or getting a pastry at Muffets.

Rus wasn't Red. He didn't want to control you or dictate your life, he just wanted you to be happy. The entire town knew he was your rebound guy, but he didn't care - as long as he took good care of you and the baby, there was no reason to end things. He would do whatever it took. He'd manipulate the whole world, if need be, but never you. He needed to keep things simple with you, and that meant no secrets.

Well, all but two, anyway.

Rus was awoken by a rough smack to his entire head by what he quickly realised was a pillow, feeling a little weight sat on his sternum. Neither you nor your daughter were morning people, so he wasn't surprised at all by the tiny scowling face that greeted him when he opened his eyes.

"I'm hungry." the little girl complained, too young to reach the cupboard where the poptarts were on her own.

"hi hungry, i'm daddy." he replied, because he had to.

Despite only being 4, the little skel had developed an unrelenting hatred of dad jokes, and immediately smacked him with her pillow again.

Rus just laughed quietly, grabbing the little girl up as he got out of bed in hopes that she wouldn't start screaming at him.

"Mummy's not coming?" she noted instead, looking at your still slumbering form.

"let her sleep." Rus said "growing a baby is a lot of hard work, you know."

"How long until they're born?"

"a couple more days, the doctor said."

The little girl sighed, tired of waiting for the twins to be born, and rested her head on Rus's shoulder as he carried her downstairs. Not only would you be hungry when you woke up, but his brother was due back home soon after night manoeuvres with the canine guard. So much to do, so little time. He had better start cooking. Eggs on toast sounded good.

He liked keeping things simple, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? This chapter isn't long enough? I just gave you a four part gyftmas epic, and still you demand more?!
> 
> Well, Black and Rus will be getting their own story after The Burning Mountain is over, and saying too much at this point would lead to spoilers.
> 
> Don't forget to leave a review!


	9. What if Lust and Charm had their own human?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikrebyle asks: Did you have plans to make a separate fic for the SwapFell or Lust boys at any point? If not it would be neat to see little snippets of what they would do if they had their own human.
> 
> Thanks for the question! The Swapfell boys will be getting their own story, but I have no plans for the lust boys. In the spirit of 'what if', here's my take on Lust and Charm having their own human.

You firmly believed that what two or more consenting adults did in the privacy of their own home was their business, and it wasn't your place to judge their life choices. Even if your neighbours did bring so many different strangers home, sometimes multiple times per day, that you were starting to think it was their profession, that wasn't your concern. They seemed like nice enough guys, kept their place clean - they even had a lovely flowering bush planted in a terracotta pot outside the door of their flat.

As much as you tried not to judge, this... was getting a little much. If there was anything more awkward than hearing someone very loudly having sex, you had yet to encounter it. At first you thought you'd just have to put up with it for five minutes - how long could it possibly last, right? - but as minute twenty rolled by, you began to realise it wasn't going to end any time soon.

Your laptop sat on the table in front of you, riddled with spelling mistakes from the last 20 minutes of trying to work in this noise. You were going to have to do it again, you knew, but until that noise stopped, you were just going to keep making mistakes, and you had a deadline coming up! You started deleting your aborted progress when a sudden scream of ecstasy, loud enough to break glass, startled you clear out of your skin, making you delete the entire page.

Your last nerve snapped, and you were on your feet before your brain remembered that autosave was a thing. You threw open your door, marched across the short corridor, and hammered on your neighbours. The noise stopped almost immediately, and you gave whoever was inside a moment to cover themselves, crossing your arms and tapping your foot. After said moment, the door creaked open.

A tall skeleton in a bathrobe peaked out, eyeing you warily.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Hi, I'm your neighbour from 606." you introduced curtly "Would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to work, and you guys are being awfully noisy."

"Oh, my goodness!" the skeleton exclaimed, opening the door properly "I had no idea you could hear us! Please accept my profuse apologies!"

"It's fine, just keep it down."

"Of course, of course! Good luck with your work!"

After a polite pause, the skeleton shut the door, and you went back to your place. True to his word, he kept the noise down for the rest of the day

* * *

That was your first meeting with Charm, but nowhere near your last. 

It turned out the skeleton was a masseur, and no, that wasn’t a euphemism. The salon he worked at would only accept clients who had booked at least 48 hours in advance, so he always knew exactly when he had a free hour to go cruising for… company. Hence why he could be home at such random times of day.

“Okay, Charm, I get that.” You said as you poured him some more of the fancy tea he had bought you as an apology for making all that noise “But why always sex? Don’t you have any hobbies?”

“Sex is fun.” He answered without even batting an eyelid… which he, somehow, had “And it’s great exercise, so it’s a win-win for all parties! What do you do for fun?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but nothing really came out. When was the last time you even had fun? When was the last time you even left your little flat, since you could have all your shopping delivered?

“Videogames.” You finally responded, not able to look him in the eye.

“Sounds fun! I’ll have to try them some time!”

You weren’t sure how he could look so innocent, but looking into those bright pink eyes made you feel guilty for lying to him. A tactic, you would later learn, he deployed entirely on purpose. 

* * *

You wished you could say your first meeting with your neighbours brother had gone quite as smoothly as meeting Charm had. Said skeleton had knocked on your door when he got home, as he had started to do every day, to say hello, only to find his brother bent backwards over your sink, running his entire skull under the tap as you flustered to find a clean towel.

“…Um?” he started.

“THEY MACED ME IN THE FACE!” Lust had screamed at the sound of his brother’s voice, before putting his face right back under the running water.

“In my defence, he was being really creepy!” you cried “I didn’t know he was your brother!”

Charm had a mental fail for a solid minute before he burst out laughing, holding onto the open doorframe for support.

“why does it burn?!” Lust continued to wail “I don’t even have skin?!”

“This, haha, this isn’t one to t-teach to your class, I think!” his brother just about wheezed out before collapsing to the floor in a fit of laughter.

Which is how you learned that Lust was a teacher. A university lecturer, to be fair, and the fact he didn’t teach children left you breathing a sigh of relief. He lectured on the psychology of sexuality, which is apparently a thing? A thing you can study?

“sexuality isn’t physical, it’s mental.” He had told you once his eye sockets had been properly flushed out and he had a cup of tea to steady his nerves “it doesn’t matter what someone looks like, how physically able they are, which way they lean – if they can think sexy, they can be sexy.”

“Nice theory.” Is what left your mouth before you could stop it, causing your accidental macing victim to lift a brow bone.

“you don’t think so?” he challenged.

“I’m as ace as they come, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask.” You admitted.

Huh… saying that out loud left oddly liberating. When your neighbours didn’t immediately reply, you readied yourself for the ‘that’s not a real thing’ argument, which you had had with literally everyone else in your life up to this point. Indeed, Lust did look like he wanted to argue, pressing his hands together in front of his mouth like he was praying.

“you mean to tell me…” he began, before turning to face his brother “that you made a friend _without_ benefits?” 

“I did!” Charm confirmed happily.

You hadn’t known he considered you his friend, but on seeing the happy look on his face, you didn’t dare mention it out loud. You thought he just felt obligated to make sure you had eaten and gotten some sleep because he didn’t want the smell of rotting hermit to turn off his partners.

“bro, I’m so happy!” Lust said genuinely, even tearing up a little “it’s been so long!”

“I know, right?!” he replied “I finally have someone to do scrapbooking with!”

Both skeletons turned to you with shining eyes, eager and hopeful. Backed into a corner, you had no choice but to reply an unsure:

“I-I like scrapbooking…”

And unknowingly seal your fate for the rest of time.

* * *

Lust came by in the morning before work. Every morning. How he got into your flat without a key honestly worried you, but get in he did, loudly announcing ‘good morning, gorgeous!’ before bustling you out of bed, or if you had stayed up all night working, bustling you into it. Charm didn’t cruise as much for people to bring home in his off hours, choosing to spend most of them with you instead. He was even louder than his brother, and while you appreciated the company, it demanded a lot of your attention and left you feeling very drained.

Spending time with these two reminded you why you had become a hermit in the first place. This was EXHAUSTING.

“You need to get out more, get some vitamin D in you.” Charm suggested when you complained about being tired.

“they don’t like vitamin d, bro, they’re ace.” Lust had teased, and it took you a second or two to realise the connection, or why Charm let out that long-suffering sigh.

One Saturday morning, about two months into your friendship with the brothers, they opened your door (again, you weren’t sure how since you always kept it locked. Should you be worried? More than you already are?) to find you in the same clothes as yesterday, having once again stayed up all night working.

“We’re going shopping!” Charm announced, customary organic hemp tote bag slung over his arm.

“Oh, cool.” You answered, scratching your belly “Can you get me some ramen? I’m all out. You know the type I like.”

“Nope!” he replied with a smile.

Before you could even process what he said, Charm had leaned down, grabbed you around the middle, and slung you over his shoulder, eliciting a startled scream.

“Charm!” you shrieked “Put me down!”

“I said ‘we’ are going shopping.” He pointed out “And ‘we’ are!”

Not able to fight his skeletal grip with your diet of noodles and pizza, you looked to Lust for help, only to find him picking up whichever pair of your shoes he could find and pulling your door closed.

“let’s get going before all the good parking is gone.” He said “i don’t want to have to walk through half the town again.”

“Honestly Sans, you’re so lazy!” Charm chastised, oblivious to your feeble attempts to free yourself as he headed for the stairs “Is it any wonder you always finish first?"

You learned many important lessons that day. The first was that Charm always got his way, and would happily resort to physical force if the puppy-dog eyes didn’t work. The second was that your new friends were the sassiest, bitchiest mean girls on the entire planet.

You had always found clothes shopping stressful – especially on a Saturday! - and figured it would feature prominently in your own personal hell alongside public speaking and talking on the telephone. To these two, however, it was a downright _battlefield. _If they saw something they liked, neither hell nor high water, nor anyone else who happened to be standing right in front of it, would stop them. At first you would give a quiet apology to the people who got hip-bumped out of the way of something your friends wanted to look at, but you soon gave up. Not because there were so many you couldn’t keep track, but because you realised where you were.

Nothing had a price on, the principal colours were black, white, and chrome, and some of the garments were so small you doubted even Lust could fit into them. That’s right – _high end fashion_. A hermits worst nightmare. Stood there in your tracksuit bottoms and crocs, t-shirt stained with teriyaki and hastily finger-brushed hair, you were decidedly out of your element in a place that was so polished you could see your reflection in the floor. Stood amongst the beautiful people, you got sneers, glares, a few quiet ‘ugh’s and lots of whispering behind hands.

It was like being back in school, to be honest.

Being the sassiest, bitchiest mean girls on the planet, your friends did not let this stand.

“puh-lease, you wish you could pull off that hair. tell the scarecrow that did your extensions to stop pulling his stuffing out.” Lust said to one sneerer.

“Oh honey, don’t be that way.” Charm requested of one of the ‘ugh’s “You really should be taking pointers on how to not… _overcompensate_.” He finished, looking them up and down for emphasis.

And of course they dragged you into the dressing room with them, stopping just short of stripping right in front of you. You honestly didn’t know why they bothered asking your opinion on how anything looked.

“It’s… exactly the same as what you were wearing before?”

“Oh my god, that was _magenta_.” Charm insisted “This is _fushia_.”

“They’re identical.”

“humans.” Lust sighed with a shake of his head, before suddenly perking up “oh my god, you know what we should do?!”

Immediately, you were scared.

“mojito’s!”

“Yes!” Charm gasped.

“No!” you objected.

Five minutes later you were sat at a fancy bar, the waiter placing a mojito in front of you. You weren’t even sure what was in a mojito, but it smelled like toothpaste. This place looked exactly as high class and snooty as the last one, and your wallet all but screamed at you not to touch anything, lest you get your commoner germs on it.

Unfortunately for you, your friends had other ideas.

“Order whatever you want, we’re treating.” Charm told you distractedly as he read the menu over his shorter brother’s shoulder.

You didn’t even know what half the stuff was. Confused beyond reason, you asked a passing waiter for help.

“Oh. That.” He said down his nose “This chicken breast sautéed in a tomato and rosemary sauce. With a side of lightly simmered potatoes. It’s in Portuguese.”

“No it isn’t.” you argued “I’m a translator – I speak 8 different languages. This isn’t Portuguese, it’s gibberish. This word’s Korean!”

Lust and Charm burst out laughing while the waiter made hasty excuses to leave.

Your torment didn’t end there, as your friends took you to get manicures (skeletons didn’t have nails!), and facials (they don’t have skin either! Stop wasting your money!), before finally going home.

With little more than a goodbye, you threw on your pyjamas and crawled into bed, fully intending on sleeping until Monday. Five minutes later, you were startled back into the land of the waking when your bed was violently rocked. Lust and Charm, also dressed in their pyjamas, but with arms full of snacks, had leapt bodily onto your mattress.

“Sleepover!” Charm declared millimetres from your face.

“hope you like twilight, gorgeous, because we’re marathoning this bitch.” Lust warned, pouring three glasses of a ridiculously sweet smelling alcohol “take a shot every time you want to punch one of the characters!”

“Not enough alcohol in the world!” Charm laughed “Oh, we should play the moustache game!”

“oh my god, yes!”

“Where do you keep your markers?!”

“IS THIS A PRACTICAL JOKE?!” you yelled.

* * *

If it was a practical joke, it was a long one. The next Wednesday, Charm once again came over and announced you were going shopping.

“We went shopping on Saturday.” You all but pleaded.

“Oh you silly goose.” He laughed “That was _shopping_. This is _shopping_!”

“They’re the same…?”

“Lol, no.”

Thank goodness, he didn't heft you onto his shoulder this time, but grabbed your hand and pulled you after him. Without Lust to grab your shoes for you, you ended up going in your slippers.

Luckily, Charm had meant food shopping, and there was no dress code at the supermarket. You figured this would be a good opportunity to bulk-buy your essentials (frozen pizza, ketchup, instant noodles, that kind of thing), but anything you put in the cart ended up back on the shelf the second you looked away, replaced by something healthy. Who the hell came up with 'courgetti' anyway? You would have objected, but Charm ended up paying for everything. You could just order what you really wanted from home when he wasn't looking.

For the first time in your adult life, you had vegetables in your kitchen.

"You... do know what to do with that?" Charm had asked as he saw you staring at the thing in your hand.

To be perfectly honest, you weren't even sure what it _was_. I kind of looked like a fern...

"Not even a little." you admitted.

Charm sighed theatrically, but he didn't seem upset at all, just grabbing the cookware you hadn't used since you bought it and starting the first of your many, many cooking lessons.

* * *

This was your life now. Every few days they'd drag you out of your hole, sometimes kicking and screaming, to go do something. Shopping was their favourite, but there were also movies, spa days, quaint little cafes, walks along the beach, the list went on. On the occasions when you were out with both of them, one would sometimes disappear for twenty minutes, returning a little out of breath and with their clothes askew. You knew what they had been doing, of course, and while you did wander why it seemed to be physically impossible for either of them to keep it in their pants, you didn't judge. They always came back, after all.

Not that there were no consequences to their frequent hook-ups. Lust, it turned out, had more than one stalker, which you only learned when he suddenly wrapped his arms around you while you were walking down the street and loudly called you the love of his life. Your only indication something was off was the way his eyes darted between you and something on the other side of the road. When you finally spotted the guy, he looked like he was chewing bees, glaring daggers at you. You just squared up, understanding what your friend needed from you, and put an arm around his waist. The shine in Lust's eyes was practically Charm-esque as you walked away.

More than one friend had told you they found you intimidating before getting to now you. Exactly why, you had no idea. You thought you were a pretty soft person. After that event, you became the stalker shield, the fake spouse, or the other parent of your imaginary child, depending on the situation, to stop their hook-ups getting too attached. For all Charms talk of wanting to find love, he sure kept his lovers at an emotional distance.

It was a surprise to you the first time they returned the favour. 

Being the walking disaster you are, the idea that someone might actually hit on you had never crossed your mind. The mind that stopped short and refused to work the second you realised what was happening. Sat at the bar of some nightclub the boys had dragged you to (thankfully not in your trackies and crocs), you stared dumbly at the attractive person trying to put the moves on you as you sipped some fruity beverage through a neon coloured straw. What do? How say? Normal people... react?!?!?!?!

You really weren't in the right headspace for the 'ace isn't a thing' argument. Would they go away if you told them you like the opposite gender to them? Or would they send a friend of that gender over instead?!

Before you could wind yourself up too much, your view was blocked by neon blue plumage. 

"love your optimism, bitch, but this one's taken." Lust told your would-be suitor, giving them a sassy little wave "off you fuck."

The human gave a disgusted 'ugh!' at such rudeness before excusing themself. Your friend had the most shit-eating grin you'd ever seen when he turned to you.

"Thanks, dude." you said with an awkward laugh.

"what can i say, you had 'help me' eyes." he excused "if you're not up for the fight, call one of us, okay?"

An offer which, sadly, you needed to take up more than once. You longed for the day when people would just accept that you weren't interested. Was being asexual really that much of a big deal?

* * *

Lust and Charm seemed to think so. It was only after a full year of their chaotic friendship that they felt confident enough to take you to Grillby's, a monster run bar that wasn't technically a strip club, but still had dancers poles and people up on them who looked like they were having a blast. While you had gotten more used to busy places thanks to these two <strike>assholes, </strike> you were resigned to the fact that you were always going to be vaguely uncomfortable in the places they liked to go.

Dragging you up to the bar (because why would they let you walk when they could drag you?), Charm hopped onto one of the stools and loudly announced to the bartender - and by extension the entire establishment:

"grillby! i want you to meet my PLATONIC friend!"

Instantly, the bar went silent. All conversations stopped, anyone making out froze (why were there so many?), and all eyes were glued on you.

"our PLATONIC friend, with whom neither of us has ever had sex, is ACE." he went on, making you all the more uncomfortable.

"Why are you saying it like that?" you asked through gritted teeth, feeling the heat of every single persons gaze.

"That's right!" Charm joined, grabbing you under your arms and lifting you up so the whole bar could see "We found one in the wild!"

The entire bar burst into excited applause, hooting and congratulating the brothers.

_What the fuck was going on?!_

Charm placed you on the stool beside his brother, who handed you a drink, before both disappeared into the still delighted crowd. 

You made a lot of new friends that night. Despite how overtly sexual everyone was, not a single person hit on you - not that that stopped them giving you their phone number, their email address, asking if you wanted to hang out, telling you about their jobs, where they lived, what kind of car they drove, when their birthdays were... it was all very friendly, and overwhelmingly _eager_...

You were very, very confused.

* * *

It wasn't until gyftmas, when you assumed that the brothers would be making plans with other monster friends, that it occurred to you.

They didn't _have_ any other friends. Sure, they met people easily enough, but it always ended the same way - a hook up. A roll in the hay. A weekends distraction at best. Humans, monsters, it was always the same. Meet, fuck, never see them again.

Is that why you being ace was such a big deal to them? And all those other monsters at Grillby's who had been so determined to befriend you (and how dominated your facebook friends list)?

None of them needed another sexual or romantic partner. They just needed a friend.

You looked at your reflection in the darkened screen of your computer. Your skin was the best it had ever been, completely blemish free. You'd lost a little weight and got sick less now that Charm and Lust were so determined to get you outside and eat healthily. You were happier these days, your heart felt lighter.

Maybe you had needed a friend too.

"hello, gorgeous!" Lust called as he slammed open the door, throwing a handful of glitter into the air.

“For fuck sake, what have I told you about doing that?!” you immediately yelled at him “That shit’s a pain in the ass to clean up!”

“Hey, you’re always shedding your skin cells at our place.” Charm attempted to defend.

“I’m not in control of that!” you pointed out.

“ugh, can we just not, tonight?” Lust sighed, inviting himself right in as always and practically collapsing onto your sofa “I had an awful day, I need a quiet night in.”

“Then go home.” You grumbled.

“I felt so fat all day, I hated it.” Charm agreed, plopping down next to his brother and whipping out his phone “I’m ordering a low fat veggie pizza. What do you guys want?”

“To be able to hit my deadline without you two wittering on in my ear all night. And Nachos.”

“Too much salt, I’ll get you courgetti carbonara.”

“I hate you. And get your feet of my coffee table.”

“ha, nope.”

You just sighed. This was your life now. Healthy eating, going out to interesting places, and two friends who completely adored you, no matter how much of a grumpy disaster you were.

AWFUL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the person that intimidates people without trying to. To this day I don't know why...


	10. What if Wing had fallen in love instead of Red?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its_me_Natalia asks: What if Windings fell for MC instead of Red?
> 
> And you know what? That's a good question.

It wasn't supposed to be him. He was a scientist – reconnaissance and information gathering were more his brothers forte. For obvious reasons, his being spotted in the town where those investigating him were based would be... unwise.

However, the day before his brothers were due to go, Sans developed a fever. He insisted he was still okay, but by the next morning his whole skull was glowing and he was sweating far more than usual. As he was a low HP monster already, this was significantly concerning. Sans argued, of course – they couldn't put this off any longer and stay ahead of the authorities – but as the oldest brother, Wing put his foot down, and insisted he stay put. Since Papyrus was the only one with healing magic, it was better for him to stay and nurse Sans, rather than risk them coming home to a pile of red, sweaty dust.

And thus, Wing left alone. The temporary house reminded him of the hovel they had grown up in, and he hadn't done this kind of work since Sans had become old enough to get good at it. He considered wearing a disguise – some kind of hooded garment he often saw younger monsters wear – but after feeling the fabric and looking at the price, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Sans could have made something far superior for less.

Wing sipped patiently on his echo flower tea, back against the wall of the cafe as he read his book. Their prior research had given him a name, and a quick internet search had provided the rest.

Young people really shouldn't put so much information on social media.

He supposed the little girl would be at school during the day, but was out of touch with what hours they kept these days. As such, he set himself up at the cafe at around 2pm with a large book, hoping that it wouldn't stand out too much that he was hanging around for hours.

He needn't have worried – the cafe was all but empty but for the staff and one table of around six humans. A brief eavesdropping of their conversation revealed that they all had some kind of developmental problem – what exactly, he couldn't say – and had no doubt been dumped at the cafe for the day by their caregivers. How irresponsible.

While the tea Wing ordered arrived hot and fast, the food he ordered did not. Even after an hour and a half – more than long enough to make a salad, in his opinion – he remained hungry. Had he actually been there to eat, he would have left long ago. It seemed the staff expected as much, as they hadn't even charged him for the tea yet...

The front door opened, a young human adult yawning as they sauntered through. The group on the other table shouted happily, bringing the newcomers attention to them.

“Hey, guys.” the human greeted, walking over with a smile “I forgot it was Tuesday. How you guys doing today?”

There was something familiar about that humans face...

“We're good!” one of the group told them “We came here for breakfast!”

The humans smile twitched.

“Have you eaten yet?” they asked.

“Not yet.” another said, holding up their mug for inspection “But look, I got marshmallows!”

“Oh, yummy! Let me get you some more.”

The humans smile dropped the second they looked at the staff, all but one of whom immediately looked away from them. The one who didn't merely nodded and got more cups to give the group a refill on their drinks. The human headed for the kitchen. The group suddenly got excited, clapping and pounding on the table, and for a moment Wing was confused as to why.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” the humans voice roared from the kitchen the second the door was closed, making Wing jump clear out of his metaphorical skin “ARE YOU PLAYING FUCKING ANGRY BIRDS?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW?!”

Like a flash of lightning, Wing immediately knew where he had seen that face before.

It was _you._

There was some physical resemblance to your father, but it was in your voice that he really heard it, having been screamed at by him in the same fashion more than once. What were the chances of meeting you again in a place like this? And at a time like this...

Inconvenient.

Things happened very quickly after that – the chef stormed out, yelling how he didn't have to put up with this, his father owned the place, he didn't have to take this from some kid... More and more customers arrived, as if by magic, and the staff actually got off their arses and served people. The group finally received their food order, but there was still no sign of the salad he had requested.

That's when he saw her – the little girl he was looking for.

“Hi, my name is Anna!” she greeted, a little out of breath “The management is very sorry for your wait, and would like to offer you a free meal as compensation!”

Wing smiled at her, turning his book over to keep his page.

“My dear girl, I get the feeling this happens a lot.” he told her.

Her cheeks flushed, and she fiddled with her notepad in embarrassment.

“...Unfortunately... sorry...”

Wing used her distraction to take a good look at her. Her breasts and hips were large, but her face still had pouches of puppy fat in the cheeks. He guessed she was still due a growth spurt... it would be better for their plans if they took her before that happened.

“I understand.” he assured, still smiling “Some people can be so unreliable. What about that salad I ordered?”

“Oh!”

Anna flustered, flicking open her notepad and reading it quickly.

“I'm sorry, salad's not available right now.” she told him “They... forgot to order any...”

Wing almost felt bad for her. What kind of zoo was this?

“What about the brisket?” he asked patiently.

She looked at her notes again before shaking her head.

“It should have been put on this morning so it would be ready for the dinner rush, but...”

“But it wasn't.”

“Sorry...”

“I'll tell you what.” Wing said to her “Why don't you order for me? I'm sure you know the menu better than I do.”

Anna was clearly surprised by the request. Or perhaps she was more surprised that he wasn't being an asshole about it like many customers would be in his place.

“A-are you sure?” she asked, before changing her tone completely and taking up her pen “Do you have any allergies? Preferences?”

“No allergies, no preferences.” he said “Surprise me.”

Anna flashed him a bright smile before running into the kitchen.

Her movements were clumsy. Not noticeably so, but it gave away her lack of athleticism for those who knew what to look for. She wore her skirts short, pretty clips in her hair. Kitten heels, plastic jewellery. Eyeshadow with glitter and bright lipgloss.

A little girl. Naive. Easily bullied – the older and more experienced staff should have been the ones to deal with a possibly angry customer who had been kept waiting, but instead she was sent over.

Taking her would be embarrassingly easy.

If she were Wing's little sister, he wouldn't even let her outside.

After about twenty minutes, Anna returned with two plates balanced on her arms and a perfect customer service smile.

“Courtesy of the chef!” she announced “Completely off menu!”

“Don't I feel special.”

On one plate was a handsome portion of salmon meuniere with fried potatoes, and on the other, perfectly steamed greens with garlic butter.

“Wow...” he said before he could stop himself.

“Since you were so nice about everything, the chef put a little extra effort in.” Anna told him as she laid everything down “Would you like anything else to drink?”

“White wine, perhaps?”

“Ah.”

Once again, Anna flustered. A nervous child?

“I-I'm not old enough...” she admitted “Let me get someone who is!”

Wing couldn't help but laugh a little as she ran off again. She was cute. Maybe that was why they sent her over – to disarm him.

He looked back at the food before him. He had been planning on taking the girl as quickly as possible, but... this food looked good. Really good. And it would be rude to turn down a free meal.

The second he put the first forkful in his mouth, he understood how this ridiculous place managed to stay open – his HP shot up past it's maximum. A quick look around confirmed that the majority of the patrons were monsters, and even the few humans were in monster-heavy groups. The second chef must be a love soul for their food to have this effect.

Wing finished his meal at his own pace, one eye always on Anna as she flittered between the busy tables. A girl her age wouldn't be allowed to work too long on a school night, clearly cared for as she was. He needed to act soon.

He put his book away, putting his napkin and cutlery in the void, lest the police try to analyse them later, and waited. Anna always took the corner by the tables closest to the bathroom too sharply, all it would take is one little push of blue magic, and...

“AH!”

The entire cafe gasped into silence when she fell, glasses and dishes shattering as her ankle twisted painfully under her. Wing was already on his feet, but he had to get in line, as the kitchen door was thrown open. You looked pissed off for a moment, before you realised exactly what had happened and rushed over to the little girl, who was trying bravely not to cry.

“Anna, are you okay?!” you fretted “What happened?”

“I-I tripped...” she sobbed “It hurts...”

Wing walked over, pushing easily through the rubberneckers, and squatted down by the girls foot. You immediately glared at him, the exact same look of suspicion on your face that he often saw on your father.

“Let me take a look.” he requested “It's alright, I'm a doctor.”

Not that kind of doctor, but no-one needed to know that. You didn't let go of Anna, or take your eyes off Wing as he examined the little girls foot.

“A minor break.” he assured “But I'm sure it's very painful. We should get some ice on it before it starts to swell.”

“Does she need to go home?” someone Wing could safely assume was the manager asked.

“For at least a week.” he confirmed “Until she's able to put weight on it again.”

The manager sighed in resignation.

“Okay, I'll call your fath-”

“I don't mind dropping her home.” Wing interrupted “We can stop by my clinic and and-”

“No.”

You hadn't raised your voice, but you managed to silence the debate nonetheless. Anna squealed in shock as you picked her up in a bridal carry, turning your fierce eyes back to Wing as you straightened up.

“I'm not letting my little sister get in a strange car with some asshole just because he claims to be a doctor.” you said certainly.

The manager called your name in objection, but it was clear who was really in charge when he flinched under your glare.

“Call her father. And tell him not to wait until my shift is over before he comes to get her. We'll be in the kitchen.”

Without so much as a second glance at Wing, you marched past him and back through the kitchen door. There was silence until the manager sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Alright, everyone back to work.” he said “Lucas, clear up that mess, will you?”

* * *

Wing sat behind the wheel of his rental car, watching the closing restaurant.

'Little sister', you had said. Shit. Anna may be a naïve little girl, but you were not. By his calculations, you must be... 19? Maybe 20? The confidence with which you shut him down told him that father dearest had taught you well. He may be a paranoid survivalist with a severe case on untreated PTSD, but the psycho knew what he was doing. No-one usually questioned doctors – it was practically a magic word, one he had used to get away with many things worse than what he had planned for Anna – but you had seen through him instantly.

Wing tapped the steering wheel thoughtfully. What were the chances of this happening? Not only that you would be here, now, but that you would have an active interest in keeping his target safe? Now matter how he crunched the numbers, it didn't add up.

Fate. Sans had called it fate. Wing wasn't a romantic like his little brother was, but... it was the only word that fit.

Having you around would make things more complicated. That officer – Miles – no matter what Wing did, Miles response was limited by what the law would allow. Yours was not. Even if father dearest hadn't taught you everything he knew, you knew him, and certainly would know more like him. Dangerous people who operated outside of the law, much like Wing himself.

What now? He needed that evidence destroyed, and they didn't have time to find a new target.

The lights in the cafe went out. Seconds later, you and the manager emerged from the building, locking the door behind you. Wing stayed still as a statue, knowing movement in your peripheral would attract your attention. Sure enough, you looked around carefully before proceeding along the street.

Were you... walking home? This time of night? Alone?

Wing got out of the car. You would hear him if he ran after you, so he stayed back, using his long stride to bridge the distance. He kept to the shadows, slipping into the void when necessary. You weren't wearing headphones, didn't have your phone out. No bag, trainers with good grip on the soles, hair fashioned in a way that made it hard to grab ahold of. You were prepared for an attack, ready to run or fight.

Smart.

He liked you already.

Wing ducked into an alley as a homeless man asked you for change.

“Fred, you know I don't carry cash this time of night.” you answered “You want me to get you a coffee or something?”

“Could you get me a sandwich?” the man asked sheepishly “I haven't eaten yet today...”

“Sure.” you sighed “Wait here.”

With a quick check for traffic, you crossed the road to the fast food place. For it to be so close... Fred did that on purpose. He knew you would come this way, and used this spot to talk to you. Judging by your reaction, you weren't surprised either. Yet, you still walked this route home.

You returned a few minutes later with a large bag of food, Fred's whole face lighting up at the sight of it. Before you relinquished it, though, you gave the man a hard look.

“Your last drink was?” you asked.

“Seven months, one week, three days.” Fred intoned “According to my sponsor, anyway.”

You smiled – the first one he had seen on you. There was something so gentle about it, Wing couldn't help but be struck by the sight of it.

“That's what I like to hear.” you told Fred as you gave him the food “And hey, tell Andy to bring the kids around the back after closing tomorrow – we got a tip off that the health inspector is coming next week, so we're going to be chucking stuff out.”

“We'll help you get rid of the evidence.” Fred chuckled.

“Keep fighting the good fight.” you bid as you left, giving the man a little wave.

“Be careful out there.” Fred replied, hugging the bag of food like precious treasure and disappearing back into an alley.

Wing didn't follow you after that. His feet were rooted to the ground.

That smile... that gentle, ever so slightly lopsided smile...

Maybe... maybe there was a different way to go about this...

* * *

“Wake up! Why don't you put on a little makeup?!”

You smacked Anna with your pillow before she could butcher the song any further, making her laugh.

“Hush, and shush.” you ordered, turning to face away from her.

You felt your bed rock as someone very small clumsily climbed onto it. Seconds later, a very wet little tongue trailed up your cheek.

“I GET NO PEACE IN THIS HOUSE!” you yelled theatrically, grabbing Suzy as she started to giggle and pulling her down, covering her with your blanket.

“Okay, but do you need anything?” Anna asked, still laughing “Mum and I are going to stop by the supermarket on the way home.”

“Chocolate.” you grumbled into Suzy's hair.

“CHOCOLATE!” the terror-tot yelled.

“Suzy!” your foster mother yelled from downstairs, no doubt taking pity on you “Come watch Paw Patrol!”

“PAW PAW!” she yelled again, struggling with the weight of your arm a moment as she slipped off the bed and sprinted away.

Anna finished very carefully lacing up one of Mile's shoes, which she was using until the swelling in her foot went down.

“Think the doctor will give me a note to get out of PE another week?” she asked you.

“Probably.” you yawned.

“I hope so – we're doing football next week.”

“Anna!” her mother called up the stairs “Let's go!”

“Coming.”

Anna limped over to your bed and gave you a sisterly kiss on the forehead before leaving.

“Have a good day off.” she bid.

A short time later, you heard the front door close, and you snuggled back into your bed to get a little more sleep.

“Ooh, baby!” Nana exclaimed excitedly from downstairs “Baby, come here, look at this!”

…

… Looks like you were getting up early today.

You were still yawning when you found Nana in the front garden, having gone to fetch the post and gotten distracted.

“Morning, Nana.” you greeted as you finished the task, only to find the mailbox empty.

“Good morning, Baby.” she greeted back “Look, we have a few neighbour!”

“You woke me up for that?” you grumbled.

“He's very handsome.” she justified.

You didn't remind her that she was nearly blind, so her opinion might be up for debate.

“I get no peace in this house.” you grumbled instead, turning back to make yourself some breakfast.

“Ooh! Ooh, he's coming this way!” Nana declared “Quick, act natural!”

“Nana!” you laughed.

Regardless, you did look over, only for an unpleasant shiver to run down your spine.

“I thought it was you.” the skeletal doctor greeted, dark red eyes fixed on you entirely “It looks like you and I are going to be neighbours. How's your sister doing?”

“Who is this?” Nana asked you, enthusiasm replaced with suspicion.

“I'm sorry, allow me to introduce myself.” the doctor replied, holding his hand out to her “My name is Wing, I'm the doctor that was there when Anna hurt her ankle.”

“Oh, you're a doctor?”

You wondered in Nana every got whiplash from that emotional back and forth.

“Not a good one.” you grumbled “Anna's ankle wasn't broken, just sprained.”

“Oh, thank goodness!” Wing declared, his calm raspy voice rubbing you up the wrong way “I admit, I'm more an expert on bones, rather than flesh.”

“Because he's a skeleton.” Nana giggled, elbowing you gently.

You just grumbled and went back to the house, not awake enough to deal with this yet. You vaguely heard Nana making excuses behind you ('baby's really not a morning person...'), but you didn't care, going to hunt down some food instead.

* * *

You were sitting quietly, watching cartoons with Suzy when Anna and your foster mother returned. You were about to ask if she needed help with the shopping when your foster mother grabbed your ankle and pulled you off the sofa.

“Oh-kay...?”

“You owe someone an apology.” she declared.

“I do?” you asked.

“Nana told me how rude you were to the new neighbour.” she went on “That was completely uncalled for, especially when he was so nice to Anna before.”

“You pulled me off the sofa for that?”

“Move you butt! Right now!”

As much as you wanted to grumble, you kept your mouth shut. You hadn't been that rude, had you? You know you don't exactly have your filter on in the morning...

You found Wing in his front garden, enjoying the summer sun with a glass of wine and stack of books, only looking up when you cleared your throat, still on the other side of his fence.

“So...” you began “Apparently I was pretty rude to you this morning...”

Wing smiled, putting his book in his lap.

“Your grandmother tells me you aren't yourself before noon.” he said “Do you have low blood pressure?”

“I dunno.” you admitted with a shrug “Me and mornings have just never gotten along. Anyway, I owe you an apology, so... sorry... I guess.”

“You aren't very good at that.” Wing laughed, more amused than insulted.

“I prefer to know what I did wrong before apologising for it.” you explained, which only made him laugh again.

“I admire your honesty.” he said.

Not sure where to go from there, you took a glance at the stack of books on the garden table, a couple of which caught your eye.

“Are you a reader?” Wing asked.

“Now and then.” you admitted “Those textbooks, though – we're using those in the course I'm starting in the autumn.”

“Oh really? Have you read them yet?”

“Only about five times.” you shrugged “Maybe I'm just dumb, but I can't wait for the damn thing to start so the lecturers can explain the parts I don't get...”

To your surprise, Wing immediately got to his feet. He was surprisingly graceful on those long legs as he pulled out the other garden chair and wiped it down before standing behind it.

“Please, have a seat.” he bid “Class is in session.”

* * *

You... may or may not have been wrong about Wing. Sure, he hadn't made the best first impression, but even he admitted that his offer to take Anna home had come across wrong after he had time to think about it. He turned out to be very knowledgeable in many areas – your impromptu lecture had lasted several hours, and he really helped you understand the parts you had been struggling with. He was patient in a way you wished your teachers at school had been.

So, maybe you could cut him some slack. Thanks to Anna's ability to attract the WORST people, you had known much creepier older men than Wing.

That being said, your opinion of older men was getting pretty fucking low at the moment.

“What do you mean you've been drinking?!” you demanded through gritted teeth “I specifically asked you before I left the house if you could pick us up, and you said yes!”

“Listen, kiddo-” your foster father started, slight slur in his voice from the amount he had drunk.

“Don't you 'kiddo' me!” you interrupted “The one fucking thing I asked of you! But now your sixteen year old daughter has to _walk_ home, at 11pm, with a sprained ankle, so that you could have a fucking drink!”

“Well, what do you want me to do-” he tried to defend.

“Just keep doing what you to best.” you yelled at him “Absolutely fucking nothing!”

You slammed the work phone down into its cradle. Unsatisfied with the weak sensation, you ripped the entire unit from the wall and threw it on the ground, stamping on it a few times for good measure. The manager remained silent, already in your bad graces for not kicking out a table of men who were harassing Anna earlier in the evening. You knew it would come out of your paycheck, but you weren't in the mood to care.

Anna fiddled with the straps on her school bag, having been ready to go for some time now.

“Could we call Miles?” she suggested.

“He's on stakeout.” you knew, rubbing your smoke-irritated eyes.

“Sugar?”

“He went to visit his cousins yesterday.”

“Oh yeah... Mr Manager?”

“Sorry, I'm going to my partners tonight.” he excused “It's the opposite direction to where you live.”

Selfish fucking bastard. This town wasn't so big that it wouldn't take more than 20 minutes to drop the two of you home. Feeling your blood pressure rise, you held your temper as best as you could and grabbed your coat.

“Anna won't be in tomorrow.” you told him tersely.

“What? Why not?”

“Because she has to walk 40 minutes home on a sprained ankle!” you snapped, making him flinch “She's not going to be able to _walk_ tomorrow!”

You grabbed Anna's hand and stormed past him out the door, shoulder checking him on the way out. He wouldn't do anything about it – you were the only chef that did a damn thing around here. Fuck, you were the only one who ever did _anything_ around here!

“Please slow down!” Anna begged “My foot-!”

You stopped suddenly, causing her to bump into you. There was no-one but the two of you on the street, so you allowed yourself a moment to calm down, pulse pounding in your ears. Fucking unreliable-!

“Are you mad?”

Anna's voice was so quiet, you almost didn't hear it. She almost shrunk away from you when you turned around, which hit you right in the soul. You took a deep breath before you answered, fearful of what would come out of your mouth.

“Not at you.” you told her, as calmly as you could.

“Would you like a hug?” she asked.

Normally you would accept, but the streets could be dangerous this time of night, and you needed to stay aware.

“I just want to get home.” you said honestly “How's your foot? Do you need me to carry you?”

“Don't be silly.” Anna laughed, obviously doubting that you could “I'll be okay... not looking forward to tomorrow, though.”

She offered you her hand. You felt yours tense, determined not to grab her too firmly in your temper, before you took it, and the two of you started along the street again.

“Why don't we call mum?” your little sister asked.

“She has court early in the morning.” you told her “That's the whole reason I asked him to pick us up in the first place.”

“Hmm... Dad is in _so much_ trouble tomorrow.”

“So. Much.”

The beep of a car horn caught your attention. You pulled Anna to the building side of the pavement as said car pulled up alongside you, unzipping the secret pocket inside your coat pocket to ready your flick-knife.

As the window of the car rolled down, you relaxed a little – but only a little.

“Good evening.” Wing greeted from the drivers seat “Isn't it a school night?”

“Hey Dr. Wing.” Anna greeted back, leaning down a little to see in the vehicle “Our ride flaked on us, so we're walking home.”

Wing's eyes flashed to you for confirmation, but knowing you were liable to bite his head off, you kept your mouth closed.

“What are you doing out this time of night?” your sister asked to fill the awkward silence you created.

“Honestly, I simply can't stand busy supermarkets.” Wing told her “Might as well take advantage of 24 hour opening, right? Hang on a moment.”

You took a step back as Wing opened the car door and climbed out.

“Let me move these bags.” he offered “I'll give you a ride home.”

“That isn't necessary.” you automatically refused.

“Don't be silly.” he dismissed just as easily “We're neighbours, and I'm headed that way anyway.”

“I really-” you started, before Anna quietly called your name and pulled on your hand.

“Don't be proud.” she scolded, just loud enough for you to hear “My foot already hurts, I don't want to walk all the way home.”

You weighed your options. This road was on the way home from the biggest supermarket in town, and those bags were indeed full of produce, so that checked out. It wasn't unusual not to like crowds, either. Wing was pretty disarming, not at all aggressive or slimy... but it was still the car of someone you barely knew late at night... but Anna's ankle... and he did only live a few doors down from you...

“Thanks for the lift.” you settled on.

You still kept one hand on Anna, and the other on the handle of the door, watching for any turn you weren't expecting or street you knew wasn't on the way home to dive out. Everything was fine, however, and you arrived home in good time. You thanked Wing for the lift again as you both climbed out, noting that he waited to see you inside before pulling away.

However...

“Something wrong?” Anna asked, noticing that you had stopped on the path.

“I'm still pissed.” you admitted “I think I might start a fight if I go in...”

“What do you want to do? Axe and Sugar aren't home...”

“I'm just going to pound the pavement for a bit.” you told her “Take it out on the tarmac.”

“Okay. Don't go far.”

You laughed, bopping her good-naturedly on the nose.

“Which of us is the little sister, eh?”

You waited until Anna was inside with the door locked before you turned around. Wings car was where you had left it, window rolling down as you approached.

“Everything alright?” he asked.

“Taking a walk.” you replied tersely.

You didn't stop to explain further. Wing responded by pulling up into his own driveway. You had reached his house by the time he got out of the car.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

* * *

“-selfish, thoughtless, I mean, it's only his fucking daughter!” you ranted, pacing around Wing's kitchen as he made a pot of echo flower tea.

“What about you?” he asked.

“What _about_ me?!” you snapped at him “I'm not the one with a sprained ankle, for fuck sake! I would have been fine!”

“You weren't worried about walking home?”

“I'd stab any fucker who tried anything! I cannot believe how _irresponsible_ that man is, the o_ne fucking thing_ I asked of him-!”

You ended up ranting for a long time, Wing listening patiently the whole time, fingers laced in his lap. You felt pretty drained by the end of it, but in a cathartic way. You weren't entirely sure what kind of doctor Wing was, but if he wasn't a therapist then he was missing a trick.

“It seems to me like those around you are putting a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.” Wing said after a moment “You're still so young, but you have a full time job, childcare, you're helping pay for college, not to mention you help care for two vulnerable adults... and your foster father couldn't even pick you up from work. It's no wonder you were angry.”

“I just... feel like I can't count on anyone right now.” you admitted “Usually Shug's is my right hand man, but he's got his own shit to deal with so I don't want to put too much on him, you know?”

“I understand entirely.” he assured “I've always been the eldest in my family, so such responsibilities often fall on my shoulders.”

“Sometimes I worry about what's going to happen when I leave for college...”

Wing got up from his armchair, joining you on the sofa. Gently, he took the mug from your hands laid it on the coffee table, before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest.

“It's alright.” he cooed “Everything's going to be just fine. I'll help you out, don't worry – anything you need, just let me know.”

Despite everything... it felt nice. To be comforted. You couldn't help but lean into him a little, which he took as an indication to hold you just a little bit tighter.

“Let me put my number in your phone.” he requested “That way you can get ahold of me any time.”

“You don't need to go that far.” you replied self-consciously “Just talking to you has helped me feel better.”

“Even so.” he went on, releasing you and tilting you head up to look at him “Even if all you need is someone to talk to, you'll need to be able to contact me, right?”

When you didn't reply right away, puzzling over the whole head tilt thing, he gave you a patient smile.

“Please?” he requested “For my peace of mind, if nothing else?”

Wing... he wasn't a bad sort, really. Maybe you just needed to talk to him about personal space. You didn't see the harm in having his number, so reached into your pocket and handed him your phone.

* * *

Sugar wasn't answering your messages. Texts, IM's, phone calls... nothing. It had been nearly two weeks since you had heard from him. Was something wrong? Did he not want to be your friend any more? Was he making better friends in the city, and not want to put up with your shit anymore?

You tried to squash the paranoia. He was probably just busy with his treatments... getting all that damage fixed wouldn't happen quickly, after all. Even so... You missed him. You hadn't realised how much you had come to depend on him emotionally until he wasn't around.

Why wasn't he answering your messages?

You were broken out of your thoughts when your foster father called your name.

“Would you mind taking the rubbish out before you pick Suzy up from daycare?” he asked.

_Snap._

“Why, what the fuck have you done lately?” you bit.

“Here we go.” he sighed.

And boy was that the wrong thing to say.

Throwing your phone in your pocket, you stormed over and backhanded the remote control from his hands.

“You do not get to act like you're so fucking put upon, old man!” you yelled at him “When was the last time you lifted a fucking finger around here?!”

“Now see here-!”

“You're a pathetic fucking father.” you hissed, stopping him in his tracks.

You didn't wait for his reply, storming out the front door. You spared a glance at Sugar and Axes house, but it remained empty, silent. Alone, like you were. Half way down the road, your phone buzzed with a message. Your heart soared, hoping it might be Sugar finally getting back to you!

It wasn't. It was your manager, asking you to come in to work because the asshole whose name you refused to remember had slipped out the back door _again_.

You saw red. With a primal scream, you hurled your phone to the ground, shattering it into a hundred pieces.

Why wasn't there one fucking man in this fucking world you could rely on?! Why were they all such fucking shit?! You didn't even know what to do with all this anger. You hadn't felt like this in _so long_! You weren't even thinking when you clenched your fist, aimed for the nearest telephone pole, and took an almighty swing.

Only to be stopped, and not by your better reasoning. You were literally frozen, glowing ever so slightly blue. After a moment of panic, you saw two hands emerge from behind you, the holes in the palms giving away who they belonged to.

“That doesn't strike me as the most productive outlet.” Wing said calmly, close to your ear, as he took ahold of your arms “Even if that wasn't made of metal. Let's go somewhere to talk, shall we?”

The world went dark. Axe had taken you on shortcuts once or twice, but this felt different somehow. Longer. When the light came back, you were in his living room.

“I'm going to release my blue magic now.” he told you “So let's-”

He shouldn't have warned you. The second he released his magic, you spun around and took a swing at him instead. You didn't even care any more, you were just so frustrated! You didn't need another unreliable, unreasonable, selfish-!

Wing dodged your fist. Easily. You swung again, only for him to back up, sliding your strike aside like it was second nature. Were you thinking clearly, that might strike you as odd, at least. Were you thinking clearly, you would remember that he had been the only person you had had to talk to and rely on for the past fortnight, even coming all the way out to your work to give you and Anna a lift home more than once.

Unfortunately, you weren't thinking clearly, just shouting in frustration as you attacked him. He evaded you easily, moving around the furniture, until his back was to the stairs. You went to hit him again, only for him to grab your arm, using your lack of concentration to swing you around. You bounced off the banister, not hard enough to be hurt, but enough to leave you on your butt on the stairs.

You expected to be attacked. You expected to be lectured. You didn't expect him to grab your hair, force your head back, and shove his magically conjured tongue into your mouth. You didn't expect his other hand to start tearing at your top.

You didn't expect it when you started doing the same to him.

* * *

Mistakes were made. That was the first thought that entered your head when you woke up. Several mistakes. Your whole body hurt – it seemed Wing liked it rough, and with the mood you had been in yesterday, that suited you just fine. Your brain blue-screened as what had actually happened came back to you at full force.

_Fffffffuuuuuccccckkkkkk......._

“Are you awake?”

You looked over at the voice. Wing stood in the doorway, fully dressed, with a tray of food in his hands. It even had a tiny vase with a little flower in.

“Good morning.” he greeted, giving you a tender smile “Are you hungry?”

You went to sit up, only to realise you were still completely naked, and secured the duvet around you.

“Oh my dear, it's nothing I didn't see yesterday.” Wing laughed, walking over and putting the tray in your lap “Eat up, there's plenty more.”

“...Thanks.” you replied awkwardly.

French toast and OJ. It looked pretty good. You flinched, sucking in a breath when long skeletal fingers brushed a surprisingly sore spot on your shoulder.

“I was too rough.” he seemed to realise “I'm sorry. I don't have much in the way of healing magic, but...”

You saw a soft green glow in your peripheral, and the pain throughout your body started to ease.

“Eat up.” he insisted again “It will help.”

You ate the toast, too awkward to know what else to do. This wasn't exactly a common occurrence for you...

“Um... listen...” you started “I'm sorry...”

“That you attacked me yesterday?” Wing finished for you “Apology accepted. I'd rather that than you break your hands punching a pole. How are you feeling today?”

Embarrassed. Ashamed. Sore.

“Drained.” you told him.

“Yesterday was very emotional for you.” he sympathised, cupping your face and running his thumb tenderly over your cheek “Why don't you call in sick to work? We can take it easy and talk about what upset you so much. Let me take care of you.”

You were about to tell him that you didn't work Fridays when something he said clicked in your mind. _Yesterday. _Yesterday was Friday.

“It's Saturday.” you realised, a cold shiver running down your spine.

“That's right.” he confirmed.

“I have to go.”

“What?”

That one threw him. The fond smile disappeared from his face as you scrambled out of bed, finding whatever of your clothes hadn't been ripped to shreds and pulling them on faster than you had ever gotten dressed before.

“Where exactly are you going?” Wing demanded.

In your haste, you missed his tone.

“There's something very important I should have done yesterday!” you told him “I have to go now!”

“Well, then let me drive you-” he offered, going to stand.

“No!” you said immediately, giving him pause “No, I... I could use some fresh air.”

You didn't look back as you sprinted from the room. What you were wearing would have to do.

Despite running all the way to the bus stop, the trip to the hospital had to be the longest journey of your life. God, you felt like scum. What were you going to say? What excuse could you make? Couldn't this bus go any bloody faster?!

When you arrived in the lobby, your heart only sunk further.

_He was waiting for you._

Axe was looking through his journal, flipping through the same few pages with a worried expression on his face. Somehow, he realised you were there, giving you a bright smile as he looked up.

“i knew it!” he declared as he got up “yesterday really was thursday! i must have skipped a page in my journal or something.”

He stopped smiling when he saw the look on your face. You were lower than scum. You were pure filth. He'd been waiting for you this whole time, second guessing himself... All it took was a subtle shake of your head for him to know he wasn't the one who was wrong. An uncomfortable silence fell between you.

“heh... you... you could have lied.” he told you “i never would've known...”

“I'm sorry...” you said in a voice so small it hardly sounded like you at all.

You couldn't even look him in the eye. As such, it was a surprise when he took you by the shoulder and herded you further into the hospital.

“we're going to my room.” he told the nurse at the desk.

“Hey now-” they went to object.

“it's fine, it's fine, they're my secondary carer.” Axe excused, quickly telling them your name for the signing in register.

You hadn't been in his hospital room before – truth be told, it looked more like a hotel room, but since this facility dealt with high-functioning mental issues like Axe's memory problem, that was perhaps to be expected. It even had it's own little bathroom.

“first things first.” he told you “take a shower. i'll find some clean clothes that fit you. Okay?”

You couldn't say anything. Honestly, a shower sounded really good right now, so you just nodded and did as he asked.

He had been waiting for you. Sitting in the lobby, wondering where you were, thinking he was the one who was wrong. With Sugar away, you were his only visitor, and you had stood him up. What was wrong with you lately?

You weren't sure how long you were in the shower, but when you came out there was a pile of clean clothes waiting for you on the toilet. They were a little big, but beggars couldn't be choosers, and the fresh fabric felt good on your skin. Returning to the room proper, you found Axe arranging a plate of pasties, half eaten doughnut in one hand.

“i couldn't remember which one you preferred, so i got one of each.” he explained, before realising he had the only jam doughnut in his hand “...fuck.”

“It's fine.” you chuckled “You didn't have to. Listen, I... I'm sorry-”

“you're sorry?” he repeated, confused.

“Yeah.” you confirmed “I really-”

“you're... _sorry_?”

You winced at his tone. You knew you fucked up, he didn't need to rub it in. Axe put the pasties aside, marching across the room and grabbing you by the shoulders.

“you turn up here a day late, clothes torn up, covered in cuts and bruises, visibly upset... and you're _sorry_?!” he cried “i'm not mad! i'm _worried_! talk to me!”

Something inside you broke. Your eyes started to sting, a painful lump rising in your throat as everything started crashing down on you.

“talk to me.” he repeated softly, gently pulling you into a hug “talk to me...”

* * *

You weren't sure when you fell asleep, but you woke up tucked into Axe's bed. You had really vented your spleen on your friend. You had cried so much, your head hurt from how dehydrated you were. Axe had listened the whole time, holding you in his soft arms and rocking you gently. When you had nothing left to say, you had both just sat on the floor together, him still holding you, for goodness knows how long. You must have fallen asleep around then.

Axe was a good friend. A better friend than you felt like you deserved, at this point. You ate some pastries and drank a few glasses of water as you waited for him to reappear, but he never did. When it started getting dark, you went looking for him.

“He signed himself out earlier today.” the nurse at the front desk told you, checking the register.

“Did he say where he was going?”

“Hm... 'visiting family', it says. Have you tried his mobile?”

You would have, had you not destroyed your phone yesterday. Who remembered anyone's number any more?

“I should get going...” you excused, motioning for the register to sign out yourself.

Exiting the hospital, still in your borrowed clothes, you were surprised to see a familiar car waiting a little down the road. With a tired sigh, you walked over and climbed in, startling your foster father, who had been playing on his phone.

“How did you know where I was?” you grumbled at him.

“Oh, um, Axe dropped by.” he explained “But he said you were asleep, so...”

“Alright, let's hear it.” you challenged “Tell me how irresponsible I am, I dare you.”

You regretted saying that immediately. You simply didn't have the energy for another fight.

“I'm sorry.” was his only answer.

He could have knocked you down with a feather after that. He seemed to realise you were shocked, as he went on.

“You've improved so much since you came to live with us.” he explained “All that therapy and hard work... I'm so proud of you. You've become such a responsible adult that I forget... you're not actually an adult at all.”

Despite his obvious discomfort, he didn't stop looking at you. The way his fingers fiddled reminded you of Anna.

“I thought you were blowing the whole lift thing out of proportion, but I know now... it was never about that. You asked me for help and I let you down. For someone like you to ask for help... I can't imagine how betrayed you must have felt.”

Your eyes were stinging again. Oh god, you did not want to start crying.

“You called me 'a pathetic father'.” he went on “But what struck me was that you actually called me your father. You'd never done that before... that's when I realised how badly I was messing up with you. You still needed me to be your father, and here I was getting drunk with the neighbours rather than earning the faith you had put in me... I'm so sorry...”

“For fuck sake.” you whimpered as the tears defied your will.

Once more, you were wrapped up in a loving pair of arms, your foster father leaning awkwardly over the gear stick.

“I'll do better.” he promised “I'll be better, I swear!”

And now you weren't the only one crying. Your father... your biological father had never cried in front of you.

“I'm so tired.” you complained into his shoulder.

And you were. You were so emotionally drained, you didn't even have words for it. Once you had both calmed down, he drove you home, stopping only long enough to buy you a new phone.

* * *

The surprises weren't over, however. You saw the next one as soon as you turned into your street – people the size of Sugar were difficult to miss, after all.

“Oh my god!” he declared loudly as you pulled up to the house, hands on his head “You're okay!!”

“Why wouldn't I be okay?” you asked as you got out of the car.

You didn't have a chance to say more, as you were quickly swept into his arm and off your feet.

“Why? WHY?!” he shrieked “I haven't heard from you in TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE_ DEAD_!!!!”

“Shug!” you cried “Shug, put me down, I'm getting dizzy!”

“Where have you been?!” he went on when your feet were again on terra firma “Why weren't you answering any of my messages?! I sent you so many funny meme's, and-”

“Your messages?” you interrupted “I didn't get any messages from you! I thought you were the one not replying to my messages!”

“To my...?”

Sugar coughed out a laugh, hands on your shoulders. Was he shaking?

“So it was some kind of tech problem?” he asked “Ha... haha... of course, that's so simple. My best friend would never just ghost me like that...”

Oh no, he was shaking. Was it his turn to cry next?

“Ha!” he declared loudly, rallying in his usual defiant manner “Well, let's take care of this at once! Give me your phone, let's see where this pesky malfunction is!”

“I would, but...”

You lifted the box containing your new phone from its bag to show him.

“I kind of... lost my temper with it yesterday...”

“... Ha... haha... hahahahaha!”

Sugar burst into laughter. You could practically see the stress and worry melting off him with every sound. Knowing he had missed you just as much... you wanted to laugh. You needed to laugh. Soon, the two of you were laughing together, and didn't stop until your foster mother called you in for dinner.

* * *

Wing moved through the void as fast as he possibly could, bursting out onto the small island he called home. This was the last thing he needed! Everything had been going exactly the way he wanted, and this was going to throw a real spanner in his timings.

“Sans?” he called as he marched in the front “Papyrus? Where are you? What's this about an intruder?”

“hey, cuuuuuzz~”

Wing looked around at the voice. Despite the sheer number of Sanses folded into this reality, there was only one with a jagged hole in his skull and single red eye.

“Axe?” Wing realised “You were the intruder?”

Axe just shrugged. Had Wing been thinking clearly, he might have wondered why the weapon that was his namesake was drawn, his skeletal hands rested atop it as he sat, waiting, on the sofa. Instead, he merely sighed in irritation, adjusting his sleeves as he cursed his brothers for not being able to handle this without him.

“What can we do for you, Axe?” he asked “Are you looking to take up your old employment with us?”

“employment?” Axe echoed, tilting his head in confusion.

“You don't remember...? Ha, look at who I'm talking to, of course you don't.”

Feeling (more than) faintly superior to his memory challenged companion, Wing sat himself down on the chair facing the sofa. Spying a pot of tea steaming patiently on the coffee table between them, he helped himself to a cup. Where were those brothers of his? Leaving a guest all alone in their house...

“So, Axe.” Wing started again “Is this a business call, or did you just pop over to say hello?”

Axe's smile tightened. He remained silent until at least half of the tea in Wings cup had been drunk. Echo flower tea, his favourite. It had been steeped a little too long, but it was still drinkable. He topped up his cup.

“you wanna know something fun?” the shorter skeleton asked.

“By all means.”

“my memory is for shit.” he started, something that was well known “but my logical reasoning is as sharp as ever. theoretical physics may be a bit beyond beyond me now, but i can add two and two... know what I mean?”

“You're still able to figure things out.” Wing simplified, wondering where he was going with this “That's good. Have you figured out something important recently?”

“i'm so glad you asked.” Axe replied, with a smile that would have set alarms off in Wings head if he didn't consider himself so above him “because i've figured out what you've been up to.”

That got his attention. He downed the rest of his tea and put the mug back on the table.

“What do you mean?” he probed.

“it's an old story, really. some would say a classic.” Axe elaborated, fiddling with the weapon that now had Wings full attention “our protagonist is a young adult. smart, resourceful, surrounded by losers. stressed out because they can't rely on anyone at work, tired out from overwork at home: childcare, elderly relatives, needy little sister, parents who are too busy, yadda yadda, you know the rest.

"so along comes this older man. handsome, charming, supportive. he takes an interest in the protagonist. it's subtle at first – a shoulder to cry on, a ride home from work when it's late. our protagonist gets used to having the older man around. he pays attention to them. better yet, he's reliable, the exact they need.

"then something happens. maybe the older man asks them to dinner. maybe they get drunk and end up in bed. sure, its a shock at first, but the older man is still charming, still supportive. the relationship gets serious. one day the protagonist comes home, stressed out from a bad day at work, and the older man says 'hey, why don't you just quit? I can support you until you find another job'. and he's been so reliable so far, the protagonist figures why not? of course, the family doesn't approve – the parents can see the situation for what it is, but they don't want their kid to feel stupid, so they talk around it, leave room for interpretation. they fight. the protagonist runs to the older man in tears.

"'those guys just take advantage of you', the older man says 'you should move in with me, i'll take care of you.' so they do, despite what their family says. and for a while, things are fine. then the older man says something – something the protagonist did that wasn't quite good enough. he's always been so supportive, so he's just trying to help, right? then he says something else. and something else. and something else. it's never anything big, he's never aggressive or demeaning, but it chips away at the protagonist, bit by bit, eroding their confidence, making them doubt themselves.

"negative thoughts always self-replicate, and the doubt manifests itself into everything. the protagonist can't get another job, or if they can then they can't keep it. the older men keeps needling, keeps finding fault in everything the protagonist does, but it's okay because he loves them. he's the only one who loves them. that's why they stay. they've pushed their family away, they have no income of their own, no work friends who might wake them up to the situation as it is. they can make all the excuses they want – 'its not abusive, he's never _hit_ me, afterall'...”

Axe paused a moment, fiddling with his weapon. Of course, Wing had realised Axe knew about you and him. How he knew, or what business it was of his, Wing wasn't sure.

“i've always wondered one thing.” he finally said “is the older man doing it on purpose? does he calculate every step, measure out the poison bit by bit, until he gets what he wants, or...?”

Axe looked him right in the eye

“is he just garbage?”

Wing just laughed. He wasn't the least bit intimidated by Axe – the only thing he needed to worry about was his craziness making his actions unpredictable.

“Maybe it's a little bit of both.” he supposed, playing dumb “But what exactly does the older man get out of this narrative?”

“the protagonist.” Axe replied simply “they're young, intelligent, caring... but the older man is too much of a garbage person to treat them like an equal, let alone how they deserve to be treated. destroying them from within is the only way he can get them to stay with him, rather than someone who's actually good for them.”

Amused as he was, Wing's patience was running thin. Perhaps the trip here had tired him out more than he thought, as he was starting to feel dizzy and lethargic. He crossed his legs, lacing his fingers in his lap, and leaned back on his chair.

“Let's cut to the last chapter, shall we?” he said “Why are you here, cousin?”

Axe just watched him for a moment, fiddling with his weapon. What was going on in that crazy head of his?

“i've always hated that story.” he finally said “the parents who couldn't just sit down and talk to the protagonist like they were an adult. the friends who saw the warning signs, but didn't want to cause offence. there are so many chances to help them, to save them, if they would just stop worrying about hurting their feelings in the short term. but mostly? mostly, I hate the older man.”

Axe smiled, and Wing didn't like it. It was the smile of someone who knew something he didn't.

“how was the tea?”

Wing looked at the pot on the table. There was no cup in front of Axe. Wing went to pick up the pot and examine its contents, only to find he couldn't move. This... this wasn't blue magic... why couldn't he move?!

“Where are my brothers?” Wing demanded, growing alarmed.

“oh, they're here.” he assured with a shrug “and there... and there... and there...”

Wing looked around as best as he could, his neck having locked up. He had been so focused on Axe being in his house, he hadn't noticed... dust... messy piles of it, everywhere.

“Why would you... you're making a mistake!” he insisted.

“yeah, I thought so too.” Axe admitted, finally standing.

As he did, dust fell from his clothes, the light colour of the cloth having hidden the powder while he remained still.

“i wanted to make sure I wasn't misreading things, so I went by your house.”

He pulled a stack of Polaroids from his pocket, and Wing felt his stomach flip, knowing exactly what they showed.

“you're kinda sick, you know that?” Axe said, flipping through the pile “i mean, taking nudes of someone when they're asleep is bad enough, but the rest of them? were you taking pictures of them from the void? i can probably make a movie from the amount of pictures you took. fucking weirdo.”

Wing tried to talk. Tried to reason, tried to demand, but his jaw was locking up. What the fuck had been in that tea?!

“How...” he struggled “You... know?”

“how do I know your target?” Axe guessed “i gotta say, you're not as smart as you think you are. you really should've sent red first like you normally do: as much as I hate the guy, i know he would've known every last thing about them before he even thought of approaching them. like the fact that my little bro is their best friend.”

Something seemed to occur to Axe at that point, as his face filled with pure hatred, voice cold and scathing.

“thanks for that, _by the way_.” he hissed “i do so enjoy having my baby brother hysterical and crying because of whatever the fuck you did to that phone to stop it getting his messages. but hey, anything to isolate your target further, right?”

Wing could no longer move at all, couldn't open his mouth to try and talk his way out of the situation. Axe seemed to realise this, as a vicious grin crossed his face.

“wassa matter?” he taunted, poking Wing on the cheekbone “cat got your tongue?”

Axe laughed. It wasn't a pleasant sound.

“you want to know something fun?” he asked as he disappeared from Wings vision “echo flowers, echo flower tea, the echo drug you're so fond of – they all smell the same. don't taste the same, though. well, not unless you spend so much time around the drug that you stop noticing it. say, if you _make_ it, for example?”

He reappeared from behind Wing, and what he held in his hands finally struck terror into the scientist – a large bag of crystallised echo. Some of it was missing.

“i don't remember things the way i used to, but i'm not dumb.” he explained “you've had four cups of tea today, even before you got here. a little echo in each to soften you up, a great big dose when you got here... is the world starting to fade yet?”

An overdose... that crazy son of a bitch was trying to kill him with his own product!

Axe grabbed Wings skull roughly, forcing him to look around.

“i don't remember working with you.” he confessed “but i sincerely hope i let you down somehow.”

He hooked his phalanges around Wings back teeth and forced his jaw open, not caring in the slightest if it hurt.

“i have lost too many people I love to sit back and watch it happen again.” were his final words, before he tipped the bag up, emptying the contents into Wings helpless throat.

* * *

You didn't realise you had been dozing until the sound of the door closing woke you up. The tv was still on, the credits of whatever movie you had been watching scrolling up the screen. It seemed Sugar had been awoken too, as he struggled to untangle himself from the blanket you were sharing.

“Sans?!” he cried towards the front door.

“yeah?” came the reply.

Oh, thank fuck!

“Axe, where the hell have you been?!” you cried as you jumped up, following Sugar into the foyer.

“what do you mean?” your friend replied, looking a little bewildered.

“WHAT DO WE _MEAN_?!” Sugar shrieked.

“Axe!” you scolded, grabbing his hands “You weren't with Sugar, your cousins in the city hadn't heard from you, no-one knew where you were, and you weren't answering your phone! We were worried!”

Axe winced a little, realising exactly how that would cause such concern.

“We've got the police trawling the streets looking for you!” Sugar added, near frantic “Where the hell have you been?!”

“oh... uh... don't remember.”

“DON'T LIE!” Sugar yelled so loudly it made his brother flinch.

“You think we can't tell the difference?” you added “We know when you're lying about forgetting things!”

Axe seemed shocked a moment, like the idea had never occurred to him. He glanced between you and his brother, who was trying his best to calm himself down while still anxious to hear whatever excuse Axe had. The skeletons face softened into one of overwhelming fondness.

“i'm sorry.” he said sincerely “i didn't mean to make you worry.”

“Apology accepted!” Sugar huffed “Just don't _lie_ to us!”

Axe took a moment more to think, once again looking between the two of you.

“you guys... you both... you trust me, right?”

“Yeah...?”

“Of course!”

“then... trust me.” he requested, patting your hand “i'll forget about it in a few days. it's better that way.”

He didn't want you to know where he had been. He didn't want you to know what he'd done. You were worried, of course, but...

“Just promise me you weren't hurt.” you requested.

He gave you that fond look again, eyes crinkling like happy cat.

“i promise. i wasn't hurt.”

Sugar let out a frustrated wail that was half way between a sigh and a scream, clasping his hands in front of his face as he took a deep breath.

“I... will trust you.” he decided tersely “But don't you ever do this again!”

“sorry, bro.”

“Ugh, I need to go to bed.” Sugar whined “I have to get the first train back to the city in the morning to get to my next dental appointment on time...”

“Go to bed.” you urged him “I'll see Axe back to the hospital in the morning.”

“and I will be on my best behaviour.” he swore “scouts promise.”

“Of my god, whatever, today's been long enough.” your best friend replied theatrically as he made his way up to his room “The longest day of my life!”

Sugar slammed the bedroom door behind him, making you both laugh.

“Hey.”

“hm?”

“Take a shower before you go to bed.” you requested, running your hand over the smooth part of his skull “You're covered in... what is this, wood ash? Where did it even come from?”

And there it was – that wide eyed look he got that gave away when he genuinely did forget something.

* * *

“So, where were you?”

“i still don't know.” Axe admitted “i didn't write it down anywhere. I went through my pockets looking for some kind of clue, but there was nothing.”

“How weird...”

“Shug, you locked down?” your voice rang through the bakery from the office.

“All ready here!” his brother called from the back room “I've got your bag and coat too!”

“Alright, setting the alarm.” you announced.

“okay kids, time to go.” Sans pointed out, watching the twins scramble to put their homework back in their bags and get out the front door in the two minutes grace the alarm gave them.

Sugar crossed the modest bakery in a few of his long strides, placing his apron on the hook as he herded the three of them out the door. You appeared in short order, locking the door just in time, and the two of you busied yourself with pulling down the shutter.

“Oh god, they're doing it again.” Nyala grumbled under her breath as she slipped her bag on “Stop watching us, you flower freaks.”

Axe looked around at the florist. Sure enough, the older ladies that ran it were gossiping behind their hands while staring right at them.

“Probably wondering which one is our dad again.” Impact supposed, shoving him hands in his pockets.

Axe got a wicked grin on his face, taking one kid under each arm.

“Let them wonder.” he said, following after you and his brother down the highstreet as you asked the kids what they wanted for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that sometimes you can't see a situation the way it is unless you're in the right position. Red immediately made his interest in Reader-chan known, which put her on the defensive, while Wing disarmed them by just being supportive (while still making insidious plans behind their back...).
> 
> It might have worked, had Reader-chan not already been friends with an older man - namely Axe - who was able to see Wings attention for what it really was. Truth time - your humble authors age starts with a '3', and if any of my younger friends or colleagues told me someone my age was after them romantically, I would be INCREDIBLY FUCKING SUSPICIOUS of that persons motives.
> 
> Did Reader-chan ever wonder what happened to Dr Wing? Probably, but I doubt they would have lost sleep over it.


	11. What if Siblings?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the irreproachable Norasilotak left me a lovely long list of 'what ifs' that had sprung to their mind when re-reading Love... I think not. Some of them would be entire fics in their own right - 'What if MC's father had accepted to let his daughter join the skeleton's family, back when Gaster first had the idea?', and 'What if MC hadn't been able to dust Gaster in the void...?' - and really, The Burning Mountain is coming out slowly enough, I don't need any other excuses...
> 
> However, two questions that would fit nicely in this series did pop out at me - 'What if one of the fell brothers had fallen for Miles?', and 'What if Anna had fallen for one of the brothers??' - and I was hit by a sudden wave of 'of course!' XD
> 
> So please enjoy this series of 'what if siblings' shorts!

What if Red had fallen for Miles?

Trigger warning: attempted sexual violence in this one.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. FUCK.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He was handsome. He was smart and patient. He was so kind to his younger siblings, even though they were both crazy in their own way. He was supposed to be following the kid, trying to find an angle to save the family business, not this! Why couldn't he take his eyes _off that cop_?!

He couldn't even get close to him - Miles was a member of the team investigating him, he'd know who he was immediately - but Red couldn't help wanting to look at him. The cute way he would rub the bridge of his nose when he was tired (which was often), how he would hold his mug by the rim instead of the handle, and would half the time mistake the pen pot on his desk for his coffee while distracted and almost get an eye full of pencil... Thank the stars Miles' desk was right by the window so Red could get a good view, he might just go nuts if it wasn't.

When Miles slept was the best, mostly because it almost never happened. The boy worked far too hard...

Red went to Wing with his findings. The older brother had raised a browbone at him, of course, but thought about his proposition all the same.

"I'm not sure about this." he said after a while, pouring himself a cup of tea as they brainstormed "There's no way to be subtle about it."

"maybe that's exactly what we need." Red argued, popping open another can of beer "we've been subtle this whole time, and they're still gainin' on us. if we do somethin' crazy, maybe it'll be just the shake up we need to make 'em doubt everythin' they thought they knew, keep 'em guessin'."

"Or it could give them just the excuse they need to step up their operations." Wing pointed out.

"once they know we can get to 'em? that they ain't safe?" Red countered "the seed of doubt always grows, bro - they'll wonder who's next, what we know about 'em, go on the defensive. it'll slow things down."

"And when we have the young officer in our grasp?" his older brother asked "What exactly do you intend to do with him?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Miles woke up in the dark. Through the blinding pain his head, he took stock, trying to remember how he got here. He had been in the carpark at work, about to go home when... nothing. Someone must have coshed him on the back of the head when he went to open the door. In the carpark at the police station? Ballsy.

Immediately, it occurred to him who it must have been. He wasn't well known enough to attract the attention of better known criminals like the mafia, but a petty criminal wouldn't do something so drastic as kidnap a police officer to get out of a dangerous driving charge.

God, what was that smell? It was floral, but overwhelmingly so, so much that it actually stung. He tried to move, only to find his hands were tied behind his back. He could move his legs, and in finding that out realised his shoes were gone. As were his shirt and trousers. Stripping him of his clothes was an intimidation tactic, he knew, but knowing it didn't negate it working.

What did these lunatics have planned for him? These bastards had left a trail of bodies so long that his team was still finding them, and Miles didn't think for a minute that he was going to end up any different. The only question was how much they were going to make it hurt...

A door opened, bathing the darkness in a deep red glow. It was so silent, it was almost like it the hole in the hall hadn't even existed before, but when Miles looked up, he saw there was indeed a door in the hands of the large skeleton. Miles had only ever seen pictures of him - not that many, and always next to one of his brothers - so he had expected him to be short and round.

Red was neither. He was a good half foot taller than his prisoner, and build like a brick shithouse. Miles did NOT want to meet his brothers...

Not that this particular situation was any good either. Red's eyes locked on him silently, just watching, as Mile's pulse started to race.

He tried to remember what he could about Red - he was the legman, smart, fast. His colleagues had thought he was the mastermind before finding out about Wing. He was also brutal, and had more blood on his hands than everyone Miles knew had in their whole bodies.

Miles went to open his mouth, only for Red to hold his finger to his teeth. _Silence. _Without a single noise, the skeleton grabbed his ankle, and pulled him out of the darkness. A closet? The stench of flowers only got worse as Red pulled him further, the dirt beneath him scraping painfully on his bare back. Miles didn't dare struggle - he didn't know where he was, he was unarmed, and maybe if he played nice they wouldn't torture him so much. In doing so, however, he was able to learn a few things - the first being that he was underground, there being nothing above him but damp stone, patched here and there with concrete, and the second being that the glow was coming from flowers and crystals, planted in large, low lines in every direction.

The red flowers were the Fell genus. Miles had learned a lot about them during his investigations. They were much like rafflesia arnoldii, only with thorns like a honey locust tree. And of course they glowed.

_Just keep thinking about the damn flowers_, he thought to himself, _it'll stop you dwelling on what's going to happen._

This must be the factory floor, so to speak, the place where the brothers grew their stock. No wonder the team could never find the nursery, if it was underground. If he ever got out of here, he was going to have a lot of good information for the team.

Big 'if', that one.

It also made sense that Red had told him to be quiet - all these echo flowers in one place would be a hell of a noise.

Red stopped, releasing Miles leg. They were in the middle of the flower patch, surrounded by the massive blooms. The ground was damp where a nearby tap was leaking into the soil. What did Red have planned? He couldn't torture Miles in a place like this, not without deafening himself with the flowers.

The skeleton untied his hands, but his freedom didn't last long, as he was shackled to the leaking tap. Miles heart was bating so fast, he could hear it in his ears. He tried to calm down, but nothing was working, especially as Red settled himself down on the ground, right between Miles legs. He must have been able to see exactly how scared his prisoner was, as a predatory smile stretched across his face as he leaned forward and placed a phalange on his chest, scraping and looping slowly.

Miles expected pain. He expected the rending of flesh and the heat of blood.

He didn't expect to pick up on the patterns Red was making on his skin.

_'...ep well?_ ' 

... ep well? The patterns before... was it... 'sleep well?'

Red grinned further when he realised Miles had picked up what he was doing. The officer felt like a mouse being toyed with by a bored cat.

'_you work very hard.'_ Red continued '_aren't you stressed? tired?'_

The skeleton was drawing it out, moving slower and slower with every letter. Even though it didn't hurt, the anticipation of it was starting to feel like torture.

_'think of this as a vacation.' _he went on _'relax. rest. let me take care of you.'_

... what the hell did _that_ mean?...

Red let him know quickly enough, as he grabbed Miles' hips and bought them up against his own, letting him feel something very hard in his shorts that wasn't a bone.

_'don't fight me and it won't hurt'_

Miles mind went blank. He knew there were plenty of things he _should_ do in this situation - he had taught his sister and the kids in his self defence class enough times - but now that he himself was in it, he had a complete mental fail. He had never expected to be in this position.

Red was an expert on picking up body language - he knew exactly what was going on in his prisoners head. He could never have approached Miles on an even footing, let alone a friendly one, with everything the officer knew about him. This was the only way he could ever have him...

The entire tunnel shook, dust falling from the ceiling, their concrete plugs springing a leak and letting a steady stream of water fall from above.

What the hell was that?!

Red seemed just as shocked, looking up with wide eyes. It was the second rumble that shook him into action - the skeleton tore the tap right from the ground, dragging Miles to his feet and shutting him back in the closest before he was even sure what was happening.

The officer tried to catch his breath, get his mind working again, think his way out of this, but nothing worked. His whole body was cold, shaking, as his mind stuck itself on what had just happened. What had _almost_ just happened. What would be sure to happen when Red came back. He didn't even notice the muddy water lapping at his feet, rising quickly up to his ankles...

When the closet door was thrown open, the officer flinched so hard it hurt. He didn't even dare look, scared of seeing those red eyes full of lust and impatience. He flinched again when a hand was laid on his shoulder.

A small hand. Smaller than his. In a glove.

He looked around, breath catching - it was you. Your eyes were hard, intense even, with determination, but it was a look he had seen on you before. Without a word, you took the hunting knife from your boot and snapped the loops on his shackles, freeing his hands to move, and dragged him from the small space. Only the drag of his shins through the liquid pointed him to the fact that the chamber was flooding, but you didn't give him time to think about the implications as you dragged him to the far end, up over a raised dirt walkway that bore the tell-tale drag marks you had followed to find him.

Past it was a stairway leading up. You kept dragging him, not giving him time to think about anything but you. You were dressed like a mercenary, all black and green, with weapons to match. His only conscious thought was how much therapy you were going to need when you got home. Before he knew it, he was in a boiler room, being dragged up the final set of stairs and into the welcome daylight.

"Are you alright?" you asked immediately, rounding on him "Your back's all scratched to shit. Did they do anything to you?"

Miles tried to speak, but nothing came out. Vaguely, he felt a hand on his arm.

"He's in shock." a voice he didn't recognise told you "Must have had a hell of a scare."

"Those tunnels won't have helped." you agreed "Jason, will you find me some clothes? We need to get his temperature back up."

"Sure thing, pumpkin."

Only then did Miles realise how cold he was. Again, he tried to talk - tried to do anything - but he couldn't. You rubbed his arm, face finally softening as you looked at him.

"Everything's going to be okay." you told him "I've got you."

Far gentler than you had dragged him through the tunnels, you led him to one of the room in the house, where a surprising sight awaited him - your biological father sat like a bored monarch in one of the armchairs, also armed to the teeth, and the smell of graphite and sawdust in the air told him they had been used. It seemed you had gathered the whole mountain range of survivalists to mount your rescue, as a good twenty of them stood around, armed and waiting for any excuse, as you guided Miles to one of the chairs and sat him down.

"Please..." Wing said to your father through gritted teeth, forcibly knelt on the ground before him with a gun to the back of his head "Think about that you're doing..."

"Not my circus." your father shrugged "I'm just here to supervise. Pumpkin?"

You pulled the handgun from the holster on your belt as you crossed the room, and pulled the trigger the second you reached your target. The shower of Wing's dust fell on his brothers as well as the floor. Red shrieked and tried to back away, but the yeti-like monster who had him by the scruff held firm.

"kid, wait!" he begged "i-"

"You talk too much." you growled before pulling the trigger, coating the floor in fresh powder.

Edge didn't struggle, didn't beg. He had the decency to look ashamed as he stared you right in the eye.

"I'm not going to stand here and monologue." you said to him "But you know you hurt my feelings. I honestly thought you and I were friends."

"We are friends." Edge promised you quietly "That's why I'm not fighting you."

Despite this, you still put the gun to his head, right between his eyes. You continued to stare into each others eyes, neither moving, for longer than you realised.

"Having second thoughts?" your father asked, breaking the stalemate.

"I have worked too hard to let a threat to my family live." you said certainly.

And yet, you didn't pull the trigger.

"Young people can be lead astray." your father advocated, leaning forward in his chair "Especially by their own family. Sometimes all they need is a second chance."

"And if I show mercy, only for him to turn around and take revenge?" you supposed "I'll have no-one to blame by myself!" 

Still, you didn't shoot.

Edge, wisely, did nothing.

Nor did anyone else, standing silently even as tears started to build in your eyes.

"You could still have a good life." you told him, voice quivering "It isn't too late for you."

To that, Edge face softened. He held out his hand, not the the gun, but for you.

"It isn't too late for either of us." he swore.

You gulped in a breath as you lowered the gun.

Miles wasn't sure what happened after that. He woke up in the hospital, hooked up to saline and covered in an electric blanket, but otherwise fine. Even the bump on his head wouldn't cause lasting damage, the scrapes on his back already scabbing over.

He never found out what happened to Edge, but he never fell into the police radar again, so presumably he was keeping his nose clean. It took months of therapy for you to slip back out of the worst of your old bad habits and back into normal life, but somehow your relationship with Miles actually improved - he always felt there had been this gap between you, and not just one of age. He hadn't known you had seen him in an almost heroic light, as someone who had saved you from that awful, violent life, and let you live softly. Now that you had saved him in return, the gap was gone, and the two of you could be equals, as siblings were supposed to be.

Not that you were willing to assist the police by giving up your lynch mob. It took the threat of having your college scholarship revoked just to get you to tell them where the flower factory was, but you remained tight lipped on who had found it, or how. Since it was one of their own you had saved, his colleagues decided not to push the matter any further.

As for Miles himself - after some therapy and time off, he was reassigned to the unit hunting down the stragglers of the Recaller cult, putting everything that happened down to the dangers inherent of his job and (quite on purpose) didn't think much else about it.

* * *

What if Edge had fallen for Miles?

The clock ticked loudly in the unpleasant concrete room, the stillness that suffocated them masking the chaos and excitement going on in his units office.

The skeleton in the metal seat had waved his right to a lawyer, but as he was fresh out of the army the law dictated that they provide him with one. Mostly, Edge stared at his hands as he told them everything they wanted to know. The chief remained calm as they questioned him - she didn't need to rile him when he was co-operating fully, and more importantly, voluntarily. The questioning lasted several hours, and Miles was on his third cup of what passed for coffee in this office when the question was finally asked.

"Why now?" the chief asked "It's clear you knew enough about what was going on to know what your brothers were doing was illegal. Why come forward now?"

Edge scratched at his radius and ulna. It must have been in discomfort, as he had no skin to be irritated. Those red eye-lights snapped quickly to where Miles was stood, before looking away again.

"...Off the record?" he requested quietly.

The chief gave him a curious look, but as he had told them more than enough already, she agreed, turning off the recording device. The camera in the ceiling would still pick up what he said, but unless the young skeleton said something particularly important, there was no need to go looking for it.

"...I..." Edge started, flashing Miles another look "...um..."

It was strange, seeing someone so large be so nervous. Edge took a deep breath to calm down before answering properly.

"My job at Second Chance was to let me keep an eye on the chef." he started "Their training, their connections, not to mention their connection to the family, would have made it very dangerous to underestimate them."

The chief knew that the chef in question was Miles adopted sibling, but stayed quiet and let the skeleton talk.

"I didn't expect we would actually become good friends." Edge laughed self-consciously "We ended up spending a lot of time together... that's how I got to know Miles..."

Edge looked at him again, longer this time. This was a significant surprise to the officer, as he had never met the man in person before today.

"You wouldn't know to look at me, but... I'm very good at not being seen." he went on "I knew I couldn't be seen by Miles, or the whole plan would fall apart, but I couldn't avoid him completely. Fuck, I work with both his siblings, I was friends with one, I-!"

Edge took a moment to calm himself down again, fiddling with his fingers.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop." he swore "But I couldn't help it. The more I got to know Miles, the more I started to develop... feelings."

Knowing that made Miles more than a little uncomfortable - how often had Edge been in the same place as him, and he had no idea? How on earth had he missed him? And for it to happen so often that he felt he had 'got to know' him...

"I thought I was in love." Edge finished, skull flushing a dark red "It was... new. Confusing... Then I was talking to Anna about some silly movie she liked, and it helped me realise - I wasn't in love with Miles, but what he represented to me. He's a good man - just, kind, but still strong. He worked hard to make things better for people. I wanted that... I wanted a chance to be like that... "

The skeleton sighed deeply, making him seem so very tried.

"I love my brothers." he admitted quietly "But I don't like them. I don't want the life they have planned for me. They keep telling me how great I could be... But I don't just want to be great. I want to be _good_. I want someone to be able to look at me and feel what I felt for Miles..."

Edge trailed off, leaving the room in silence. Miles was touched in a way that was hard to contextualise. He had never considered himself a person who inspired others, let alone to this extent...

The chief reached across the metal table, laying her hand over Edges.

"You're doing the right thing." she told him "Its the first step towards being the man you want to be."

"So what happens now?" he asked, not trying to move her hand away.

"For now, we'll put you in protective custody." she explained "Once we have a conviction, we'll have more options for you. Okay?"

Edge nodded unsurely. Once all the necessary arrangements were made, the skeleton gave Miles one last, lingering glance, before allowing himself to be lead away."

* * *

What if Wing had fallen in love with Miles?

It was a Tuesday when your brother went missing. A security camera caught him driving into the parking lot at work, and getting out of his car as he would any other day. There was a gap of maybe twenty yards between the edge of that cameras frame and the one that covered the closest entrance to the building. In that twenty yards, Miles disappeared completely.

Forensics went over the place with a fine toothed comb. They found traces of a strange, rare magic, but there was so little of it that they didn't even know what it did. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that he had been abducted, but why, and by who?

Anna cried for days. Your foster parents became understandably paranoid, refusing to let either of you even into the garden without an escort, while waiting tensely for the demands to come from his kidnappers. You investigated, of course. Pulled out all your best tracking skills, called up some old contacts for the less than legal things. You were able to find some things - his phone, over 200 miles away under a bush, his left shoe up a random persons chimney, his wallet in the lost-and-found of a library... but never him. No foot in the shoe, no physical trace, alive or dead.

You exhausted every option available to you, with no results. There was nothing you could do, an unforgivable state of affairs that drove you half crazy. If not for Anna, you might just have flown off the handle completely - she couldn't do this alone, she was still the little sister, and needed somebody to guide her through the chaos.

Time passed. You never heard from the kidnappers, or from Miles.

You dropped out of college, disillusioned by the incompetence of the authorities. Sugar struck up the idea of opening his own cafe/bakery, since he loved to bake and Axe made the best damn coffee anyone had ever tasted. You worked for them for a while, your attitude too aggressive for most employers ('not _for_ us!' they would insist 'you work _with_ us!'), until Sugar proposed to you out of the blue. Considering the two of you had never even dated, it was more than unexpected, and his method of proposal was to ask you to become full partners in the bakery... and also marry him if you have the time.

Time moved on. The bakery did a good business, especially with the monsters in the community. It was on the birth of your twin daughters that you resolved to let go of the anger you had been holding onto. They were such pure little creatures, you couldn't stand the idea of showing them such an ugly emotion.

It was when the girls were at middle school that you received an expected guest at the cafe - a skeletal teenager, who looked almost exactly like your brother. It was difficult to describe how a skeleton monster and a human could look alike - maybe it was in the cheekbones, or the shape of the eyes - but the second you saw him, the resemblance hit you like a sledgehammer. The teenager was your brothers son - the oldest of six - and he had a lot to tell you.

None of it was good.

You stood, numb, as he finished his story. Axe and Sugar had hastily closed the bakery when they realised what was happening, and were now stood around as you were, tense and stiff.

"Only five years ago?" you asked, barely believing it "He was alive all that time?" 

"I wouldn't say 'alive'." the boy told you, his voice quiet and sick "I've never been to the void myself, but... nothing _lives_ there..."

You covered your mouth with your hand, feeling like you might vomit any second. Miles... Your vision clouded with tears as you felt Axe put his arms around you, Sugars large hand supportively on your shoulder.

"I understand this is a lot to take in." the boy went on "But I didn't come here just to catch up. I need your help! My brothers and sisters-!"

You silenced the boy with a hand on his shoulder. You knew what he was asking of you. A frigid calm passed over you as the anger you had let go... no, the anger you had _suppressed_ boiled to the surface like the eruption of a volcano.

"Babe, will you call my mother?" you asked Sugar "Tell her to come meet her grandson?"

"What are you going to do...?" your husband asked, rightfully concerned.

You smiled, but it only made the skeletons flinch.

You returned a week later with five young monsters, your brothers ashes, and covered in the dust of his captors lives.

Now, you could let the anger go.

* * *

What if Anna had fallen in love with Red?

Anna had been in a bizarrely good mood lately. She was generally a happy person as it was, so this elevated mood was almost dazzling. She was practically glowing, grinning from ear to ear from the moment she woke up to the moment she went to bed.

She was also being secretive as fuck, and that was what got your attention. She would spend all night on her phone, messaging and giggling, but when you asked her who she was talking to or what was so funny, you got a quick 'nothing' or 'no-one' before she would lock her phone so you couldn't see. (Not that you couldn't just 'hack' it - her passcode was her bloody birthday). She would disappear for the day, obstensively to hang out with her friends, only to return with bags of make-up and lingerie that were way too mature for her. Too mature, and too expensive. You called her friends - they hadn't seen her in a while.

You bought the evidence to your foster parents, and saw their faces drain completely of colour the second they came to the same conclusion you had.

"Oh no." your foster father breathed.

"I was afraid of this." your foster mother agreed.

"Alright." you decided, vindicated by their agreement "I'll talk to her, and-"

"No!" they both yelled at once, making you jump.

"N... no?"you repeated, hardly believing your ears.

"We have to handle this carefully." your foster mother insisted "If she feels like she's being attacked, it's only going to push them closer together!"

"That's right!" her husband said, the first thing they had agreed on in months "Let us handle this. Just keep an eye on Anna for us, okay?"

When you got upstairs to the room you shared with her, you found Anna posing on her bed, dressed only in some of that expensive lingerie as she took a selfie on her phone. Noticing you had opened the door, she floundered and rolled off the bed.

"Don't you knock?!" she shrieked at you.

"This is my room." you pointed out.

"Even so! A little privacy?!"

Yeah, no. Like fuck were you going to wait for your foster parents to stop freaking out and decide what to do. You walked over to her bed, grabbing one of her big stuffed toys, and proceeded to beat her with it like it was a pillow. As she screamed at you to stop, she held her phone at arms length to protect it, allowing you to grab it straight from her hand.

"Hey!"

"Get dressed, brat." you ordered "You and me need to talk."

"Do not look at my pictures!" she begged.

"Why, your boyfriend been sending you dick pics?"

Anna froze, wide eyed, the colour draining from her face much as her parents just had.

"H... how did you...?"

"Get dressed." you said again, sitting down on your own bed.

The teenager quickly threw on jeans and a t-shirt, the blood having returned to her face in full force. She refused to look you in the face as she sat facing you, eyes glued on the phone you still held in your hands.

"So," you started "Tell me about him."

"Him who?" she lamely deflected.

You bent her phone until the glass front splintered, eliciting the exact dramatic over-reaction you had expected.

"Oh my god, stop stop!" she begged "I'll tell you, I'll tell you!!"

You stopped bending the phone, but didn't give it to her. Almost hyperventilating, she fanned her face with her hands.

"Okay, so, his name is Red." she told you quickly "He's in the cafe all the time, that's how we met! He always sits in my section, so we got to talking, you know? It turns out he likes romcoms just as much as I do, so when that one came out last month he asked me if I wanted to go with him, and we had a really good time, so we went out again, and again, and now we're dating!"

"And you didn't tell me because?"

"Because I knew you were going to overreact!" she practically yelled at you "Just look what you did to my phone!" 

"I'm not pissed that you have a boyfriend, I'm pissed that you're keeping it a secret." you told her calmly "It makes me worry, like maybe there's a reason it's a secret."

Anna considered a moment, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Promise not to get mad?" she asked.

"I promise nothing."

She pouted at that, but as you still had a prisoner, she kept her temper.

"It's just..." she started "And I know how this is going to sound! But he's... older than me."

"No shit."

"If you already knew, then what's with the third degree?!" she yelled at you.

"If it was just some stupid kid, we'd have seen him around already." you explained "Young men have no chill."

"Red does." Anna assured quickly "He's very chill, I think you'd really like him if you gave him a chance."

"I'm always willing to give people a chance." you assured her "Is it physical?"

To your surprise, she didn't shriek or get upset. She did blush, but even then not much.

"No." she told you, eyes going dreamy "He thinks its cute that I want to wait. He says I'm worth waiting for..."

"So the lingerie?" you pried.

"Well, that's just what you do, isn't it?" the girl supposed "When you're in a relationship? You buy each other things?"

"What do you buy him?" 

"I bought lunch yesterday!" she told you proudly, blushing again "It was only fast food, but he said it was as good as a five star meal! Isn't that sweet?"

You thought carefully. There wasn't a single red flag - no, this guy was completely MADE of red flags. He might be able to pull the wool over your naive baby sisters eyes, but not yours/

"I want to meet him." you told her.

"Meet him?" Anna repeated, thinking a moment "Well... if you promise to be nice... I mean, you're going to meet him eventually anyway, right? Since we're going to be together forever, and all..."

There was that dreamy look again, as she got lost in her own thoughts.

"He's a tailor." she told you, eyes on the horizon "He's already said he's going to make my wedding dress, and we've been planning it ever since! I'm going to walk down the aisle like a princess!"

You let her rant as you thought, weighing options and making plans. She was very much into this guy, but she was also 16 and incredibly naive for her age. All in, you were probably going to murder this man.

"Oh!" she said suddenly, bringing you back to the present "But you can't tell mum and dad! If you do, I won't let you meet him!"

You considered asking her why, seeing if she was aware of what a massive red flag that alone was. Instead, you played it smart.

"Alright." you agreed with a sigh "Alright, I won't tell mum and dad."

The girl grinned at you, thinking she had found an ally to her clandestine relationship.

"And... my phone?" she requested carefully.

You looked at the phone in your hands, mostly for theatrics - to make it seem like you were thinking about it, rather than knowing already what you were going to do.

"Why don't I get this fixed for you?" you suggested "I can do it on the way to work tomorrow."

"Really?" your sister almost gasped "You'd do that. I mean, it's my third phone this year..."

"And I'm the one who broke the screen." you pointed out "Getting it fixed is the least I can do. Just..."

You handed her back the phone, pulling a face.

"Delete any pictures you don't want the guys at the shop seeing." you requested "You never know what those guys are doing when you can't see them."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You did leave home early the next day, and you did stop by the phone shop, but not for a repair - you bought her a new phone, the exact same model, and went to the effort of recreating the scratches on the metal back so it looked exactly the same. Five minutes after unlocking your sisters phone, you knew more about Red than he knew about himself - you had his address, email, social media contacts (all alarmingly new for a man his age), you found the website he used for his tailoring jobs, his PO box, his bank details, and (thanks to Anna not deleting the pictures as well as she thought she had) what he looked like naked.

Your next step was to drop by his house. No-one was home, so you went around the back and broke in. There wasn't much of anything inside, but that wasn't unusual for a couple of guys. You found a couple of laptops, a few external hard-drives, and threw them in your bag. He was using the third bedroom as his tailors studio, and had a mannequin set up in what looked like Anna's measurements, draped in white satin. Already thinking about the wedding dress? That wasn't creepy at all. Unfortunately, there wasn't anything around that screamed 'pervert' as you hoped there would have been. The guy had a lot of movies, and lots of them were romance, like Anna said. 

If he was an honest to goodness romance junkie, even he might miss the red flags he was flying. On the other hand, he might be using the fact Anna definitely was one to make her think he was in love with her. Your money was on later.

With nothing left to do here, you went to the local maccies to use the wifi, and cracked open the laptops. Ten minutes later, you called Miles to tell him what you had found. No sexual perversion, and thankfully nothing to do with Anna, but extremely illegal all the same.

You didn't go to work the next day, but called in sick so you could be home when Anna got there. You weren't surprised when your sister snuck through the door three hours early, jumping clear out of her skin at the sight of you reading a book on your bed.

"Oh my god!" she cried "You scared the crap out of me!"

Realising there was a good chance you weren't the only one home, she closed the door silently.

"What are you doing home?" she asked.

"Health inspector found that spiders nest behind Farrah's locker, so we're closed down until the place is fumigated." you lied "What about you? Why aren't you at school?"

"Oh my god, you won't believe it!" she gasped, buying your story completely "Someone broke into Reds house this morning!"

"No!" you gasped "Is everyone okay?"

"No-one was home, thank god!" she told you "They just took everything valuable and ran for it."

... There was nothing valuable in that house. Even those laptops were outdated. And you had broken in _yesterday_.

"And to think, if they had struck tomorrow..." Anna sighed clutching her left hand.

"Tomorrow?" you repeated when she didn't go on.

Anna turned to you with sparkling eyes, looking ready to explode. With nothing more than a squeal, she showed you her hand, where a massive diamond ring sat prominently on her finger.

"Red proposed!" she squealed "That's why they weren't home this morning, because they were buying this! He was going to wait to give it to me, but after seeing his place got broken into he figured something bad could happen any time, so why wait, right? Isn't that romantic?!"

You kept your mouth shut. Anna dove under her bed and pulled out her weekend bag, going to the dresser to pull out a handful of clothes.

"We're eloping!" she told you breathlessly "_Eloping_! Isn't that just the most romantic thing? He says he can't wait any longer for us to spend the rest of our lives together!... What's that for?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sugar knocked on the bedroom window, looking confused as you opened it, phone still in his hand.

"It's not that I'm against helping you." he said "But isn't Anna a little old for a sitter?"

A muffled yell caught his attention, and he looked around to the bed where Anna was. 

"... Can I ask why she's gagged and hog-tied?" he requested casually.

"I'll explain when I get back." you promised "Just make sure she doesn't go anywhere until I do?"

"If you insist." Sugar sighed, easing his considerable height in through the window "Can we at least watch a movie?"

"Sure." you agreed as you fished your handgun from its hiding place "How about 'Megan is Missing'? 'Don't Talk to Strange Men'? 'Lolita'?"

"I'm seeing a pattern here." your friend realised "Should I be calling the police?"

"Already have." you assured "I've told them to get there before I do, or they'll be arresting a pile of dust."

Sugar looked between you and Anna, who continued to struggle to free herself from your expertly tied knots. He took a moment to weigh his choices before sighing and grabbing your laptop.

"Have fun." he sighed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Using Anna's phone, you arranged to meet Red and his brother behind the bookshop in a local highstreet. By the time you got there, Miles and his team had already arrested them, and were loading them into the back of a van.

Anna was mad at you for a long time. A LONG time. She refused to acknowledge your existence for weeks, and when she did it was just to yell at you. You ended up moving in with Axe and Sugar for a while, just to give her some space away from you while she healed.

It wasn't until Red's trial that the full extent of what had actually been happening sunk in. As the prosecutor read off the list of his crimes, you could see her heart break a little more with each accusation. By the time he was declared guilty, your little sister was crying in your arms.

Anna visited Red exactly once. They sat in silence a long time, staring at each other through the glass as you stood behind her, before she found the strength to talk. 

"Did you ever really love me?" she asked, voice close to breaking.

"oh, darlin'..." Red sighed deeply "_of course_ i did. i had everythin' planned out, ya were never gonna know about all the crime stuff."

"You were going to kidnap me." she pointed out.

"we were gonna elope." he insisted "we were gonna get married. i was gonna make ya so happy..."

"How can I believe you?" she sobbed "All those wonderful things you said, all the fun we had... how can I believe _any_ of it now?" 

You both jumped as Red slammed his hand loudly on the glass, getting the attention of the guards as well.

"i ain't gonna lie." he said urgently "i've done a lot of bad things, things those assholes didn't even found out about, but i never once lied to ya. all the time i spent with ya, it was the only thing i ever wanted to do. i _do_ love ya._ i always will_."

Anna finally broke, sobbing loudly as she threw her chair back and ran from the room.

"hey." Red called before you could follow, turning your attention back to him.

His eyes were locked on you, full of cold hatred, like the only thing stopping him killing you was the reinforced glass between you.

"i blame _you_ for this." he growled, even dropping his accent in his emphasis.

He was trying to be intimidating.

Cute.

You leaned over as close as you could to the glass, giving him a friendly smile that clearly confused him.

"I'm the one who broke into your house." you told him, watching his whole posture fall slack in shock "I'm the one who stole your computers, and I'm the one who set you up using Anna's phone. You blame me for this?"

You full on grinned, extending your middle finger and pressing it right up to the glass.

"_Good_."

You heard Red throw back his chair as you calmly turned around and left, not sparing him even a glance as you went to comfort your sister.

* * *

What if Anna fell in love with Edge?

You returned to the kitchen when you heard your name called, almost pleadingly, from within. Pausing no longer than the time it took to throw the rubbish in the dumpster, you returned to find Edge walking quickly around the kitchen, trying his best to work while also avoiding a starry-eyed Anna.

"No sexual harassment in the kitchen." you told her, only half joking.

"There are no customers." Anna excused "And I'm not harassing him! Am I, Edge?"

She turned on the puppydog eyes, to which his only reaction was a tense

"Please leave."

which only made her pout.

"I'll wear you down." she swore "I will get you to go on a date with me."

"I own shoes older than you are." he pointed out with a wince.

Anna blew him a kiss all the same, even adding a wink as she left the kitchen. He wasted no time marching over to you as you washed your hands, leaning down to your level.

"You said you'd talk to her!" he cried.

"I did." you assured "I talked her down from buying you a dozen roses and serenading you when she got to work."

Edge almost went green at the thought, eyes twitching.

"It's puppy love." you assured him, gently pushing him out of your way so you could get back to work "She'll get over it."

"You keep saying that!" Edge shrieked "You keep saying that, but she keeps getting worse! Do you have any idea how uncomfortable I am?!"

"Yes, you've been very verbal about it." you said drily. 

"How many times do I have to reject that child before she listens to me?!"

"At least once more."

"Why aren't you taking this seriously?!"

"I am." you insisted, turning to face him again "But I know I can trust you to do the right thing with Anna. Just have some patience, okay?"

Edge made a high pitched, frustrated noise, going so far as to stamp his feet a little on the ground, before he went back to work.

Honestly, he had no idea how hard you were working to dissuade Anna's attention from him. Anna was a massive fan of romance movies, and had compiled an enormous list of Big Gestures Guaranteed to Make Him Love Me, which you were currently spending all of your free time convincing her not to use, since his obvious discomfort wasn't enough to make her stop. Ever since that trip you had taken to the beach, when he had saved her from those frat bros, she had been absolutely obsessed with your fellow chef, and you had to give her this - when she wanted something, she really went for it.

"What about the old boombox trick?" she enthused as you were getting ready for bed "I mean, it would have to be a bluetooth speaker, because who even _has_ a boombox anymore, but that would just be easier to hold up!"

"Anna..."

"And I could make a custom playlist! All the most romantic songs in the world! Your Song, Love Story, A thousand Years-!"

"Anna."

"And I could wear a frilly dress with a leather coat and boots, I'll be totally in fashion!"

"Anna!"

"Yes?"

"One - you'd be a nuisance to the neighbours." you pointed out "Two - Edge is a ska man. And Three, he's not-"

"Not into me." Anna finished, knowing what you were going to say, as you had said it many times before "But he _could_ be, if I-"

"_Anna."_ you stressed "Edge is ten years older than you."

"It's a smaller gap than mum and dad." she shrugged.

"Not when one of those ages begins with a 'one' it isn't." you insisted "I mean, what if a six year old followed you around the way you do Edge?"

"That's different." she dismissed "Six year olds are children."

You couldn't help but sigh inwardly as she completely missed the point.

"Okay, I won't do the boombox thing." she sighed, as if that was the point you were trying to make "But I will get him to like me. I will!"

"Why?" you whined, finally dropping into bed "Why can't you just respect his feelings?"

"Because I've never felt this way about anyone before!" she admitted "I've never wanted a guy to like me before, it was always the other way around! But now I'm doing the same and it's... exciting!"

"Goodnight, Anna." you dismissed with a sigh, turning off your lamp and snuggling into your duvet to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edge hated Fridays. You weren't there to act as a buffer between him and Anna, and it wasn't busy enough that the customers would keep her busy either. Since the manager was too afraid of your wrath to tell Anna off, he pretty much let her do what she wanted, which meant harassment time for Edge.

Today was no exception. The girl was wearing a push-up bra, which considering her proportions was a little absurd looking, and was even slathered in make-up, trying to make herself look older. 

"Hi, Edge~!" she greeted upon entering the kitchen "Friday again! Guess that means it's just you and me!"

"So it would seem." he grumbled, not looking at her.

"Aw, what's wrong, grumpy puss?" she teased, going to poke his side only for him to move "Been having a bad day?"

"It was fine until recently." he said tersely "If you really want to help, go peel those potatoes."

"Okay~!"

There was a few seconds of blissful silence before she went on.

"Oh, your brother is in the dining area." Anna told him "There's another skeleton with him too."

"My other brother." he confirmed.

"Oh yeah? Do you guys have a large family? Are you all boys? Should I expect just to have sons in the future~?"

Her prattling turned into white noise in his ears. He knew what he had to do, but...

He was going to regret this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Anna?" your worried foster mother called, knocking on your bedroom door gently after having collared you the second you arrived home "Are you still awake?"

"GO AWAY!" came the yell from inside, voice raw, but no elaboration followed.

Your foster mother turned to you seriously, worry etched on her face.

"Something happened, but she won't tell us." she confessed quietly.

"I'll talk to her." you promised "Not like she'll stop me going into my own room."

Your foster mother continued to look worried, but nodded all the same, retreating to her bedroom so she could still overhear her distraught daughter.

"GET LOST!" Anna shrieked as you opened the door, throwing her duvet over her head.

"It's me, brat." you told her as you closed it behind you and sat on the end of your bed to remove your shoes.

"Get lost anyway!" she demanded, volume muffled by her covers "And don't call me brat!"

"Okay," you sighed, moving to her bed and laying a supportive hand on the lump under the duvet "What happened, Anna? Talk to me."

The lump shook a little as Anna sobbed, trying desperately to catch her breath. After a moment, she emerged from the covers - she had been wearing far too much make-up when she started crying, and she had clearly been crying a lot. You reached over to her bedside table and plucked up her makeup removers, which gave her another moment to gather herself before answering.

"E-Edge..." she said quietly.

_He finally got through to her_, was your first thought, but seeing exactly how upset she was, you waited for her to go on.

"He... he told me something." she admitted, starting to shake again "Something... _messed up_. It's either messed up and mean, or messed up and true, and I don't know which is worse!"

"What was it he said?" you asked gently, rubbing her arm.

What she told you would decide how hard you would hit him tomorrow.

"H-he told me..." she started, going deathly still as she looked you straight in the eye "He told me what they had _planned_ for me..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You

There's only one thing I want to know.

Is it true?

Edge

Yes.

When my brothers saw how much Anna was into me, they started coming up with all these plans.

I can't do the things they want me to do.

I know I can't ask you for help, but you'll protect her, won't you?

You

If this is some kind of practical joke, then 1. you aren't good at it, and 2. it doesn't suit you.

Edge

I wish I was joking.

Tell Miles Dr Gaster and his brothers have their eyes on your family.

He'll tell you just how serious I am.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Witness protection?!" Sugar gasped.

"doesn't that mean we'll never see you again?!" Axe realised.

"Yeah..." you confirmed, heart heavy as lead as you stood in their doorway under cover of night "But these people are dangerous - if they're after us, this is the only way to stay safe. They've got some real fucked up plans for Anna... I can't leave her, you know? I'd never stop worrying!"

"We'll never see you again..." Sugar whined, covering his mouth with his hands.

"I know." you told him "I feel the same way. Fuck, I shouldn't even be here right now, but I couldn't go without saying goodbye to you guys!"

That was the only thing that would make you feel worse - leaving your dear friends wondering and worried, completely without closure. Your phone went off in your pocket - your foster mother, asking if you were done saying goodbye, and to come home before anyone else realised you were gone.

"I have to go." you told them, ignoring the growing sound of rattling "The escort will be here in then minutes. I just want you guys to know how much I love you, and... and goodbye."

You turned and marched away, heart breaking when you heard them crying your name, but you couldn't look back. If you turned back and saw their distraught faces, it would only break your resolve, and then where would Anna be? She needed you right now.

The escort arrived. Everyone was allowed one bag each, which was easier for some. Nana didn't have much to her name, so half her bag was full of photo albums and Suzy's toys. Anna's bag was full to bursting, and you had even granted her the extra room in yours for what she couldn't fit in. Everyone was quiet and tense, Anna close to tears, as you took a final look at the house.

"I'm so sorry..." your little sister sobbed quietly "Your jobs, your friends, your futures... I'm so sorry..."

"None of this is your fault." your foster mother told her certainly, taking the words right from your mouth as she hugged her child "Absolutely do not blame yourself."

"Your mother's right." her husband agreed "You're the victim here, you know?"

Anna looked at you, tear-filled eyes begging for confirmation. As she was still in her mothers arms, you settled for placing your hand on her cheek.

"We're in this together." you told her "As a family."

The tears fell, but Anna made no sound, just nodding. The mood was tense and maudlin as you piled into the cars, Suzy on your foster mothers lap to keep her calm. Considering the toddlers unique circumstances, it was safer for her to stay with you than go back into foster care.

The officer driving started the engine, but didn't go more than a foot before slamming on the breaks. You immediately reached for your gun when you heard them swear, but your brain kicked in faster than your hands when you saw why they had stopped.

"Is it Edge?!" Anna panicked, curling into her seat.

"It's Sugar." you assured.

"How big of a problem is this?" the officer asked you, pun not intended as the massive monster placed his hands on the bonnet, physically stopping the vehicle.

"Let me handle it." you told them, opening the car door and stepping out "Shug-"

"Don't leave me!" your friend yelled desperately "Please! Please, don't leave me!"

"I don't have a choice!" you shouted back "You think I want to leave the best friend I ever had?! I need to protect my family!"

"then take us with you!" Axe pleaded, appearing at your side "this is just a place, there's nothing keeping us here!"

"No offence, but you guys don't exactly blend in." you pointed out.

"listen..." Axe said distractedly, reading quickly through his latest journal "listen... i've been in touch with an old friend of mine, from back in the underground. he told me about this village, full of survivors like us. we will blend in there, and it'll be safe!"

"And what about all your stuff?" 

"Stuff can be replaced!" Sugar cried "You can't!"

"kid, when we left the underground, we had one bag between us." Axe told you, in a rare moment of remembrance "now we have one each. i'd say that's a net gain."

"We need to leave!" the officer driving insisted from within the car "Our window is closing!"

Your mind was racing. It was bad enough this was happening to your family, could you really drag your friends into it too?

"Meet us at the police station." you finally told them "We won't be there longer than an hour. Bring your shit and lock your doors."

You got back in the car, letting the slam of the door punctuate your sentence. You could still see Sugar shaking as he backed away from the vehicle. If your friends came to their senses and changed their minds, all they had to do was not turn up.

By the time your family arrived at the station, the brothers and their bags were already there.

* * *

What if Anna fell in love with Wing?

She could smell the smoke long before she could see it, and could see the smoke long before the fire. As well as the firefighters battling the blaze, the street was crowded with rubberneckers, watching the old house burn. Anna was startled - it was so close to her house! Spying you and Axe leaning on the fence that separated your gardens, she scuttled over.

"It's so hot!" she yelled over the dim "Even this far away!"

"Yup." you replied casually.

"sure is." Axe agreed from his side.

"Isn't that Dr Wing's house?" Anna realised with a start, finally getting a good look from a safe vantage point.

"Yup."

"sure was."

"I hope he's okay." she fretted "He's so nice to me..."

"Yup."

"hope so."

Anna gave you both an unimpressed look.

"You guys are weird, you know that?"

"Yup." you replied with a teasing smile.

"so i'm told." Axe laughed.

"Anna!" Nana called from the front door "Come inside before you breath in something nasty! Who knows what kind of chemicals are in these fumes."

"Why only me?" Anna pouted.

"Because you aren't a stubborn bastard who doesn't listen to what's good for them!" Nana told her, throwing you a dirty look.

"I'm the worst." you agreed.

"that's a hell of a fire." Axe gasped, having one of his mental resets "who's house is that? anyone we know?"

As Anna felt her throat and eyes start to burn, she decided Nana was right, and went into the house.

She never did see that nice Dr Wing again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that was a long one! It got dark in places too, but the skeletons brothers can't always lose...
> 
> After all that, I feel like writing something absurd. Who's up for a highschool AU? Love... in school? I would be ridiculous!
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment, and if you've come up with a 'what if' you'd like to see, be sure to let me know!


	12. What if Readers Father knew how to Communicate?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hexabee asks: what if Reader had known that Wing dealt with her father and tried to "bring her into the family"?
> 
> TBH, I've been looking for an excuse to write this opening part, so thanks for that Hex!

This place really was the ass end of nowhere. Even by conventional travel, it was twelve hours drive and two and half days hike to get to the... 'village'. It couldn't really be classified as any kind of clustered dwelling, as these lunatics refused to live within less than 3 miles of each other. They called it their 'blast radius', which went a long way to describe the residents state of mind. That being said, it made doing business around here easier - the guy who sold the acid in industrial quantities lived twelve miles from the hicks who made the moonshine, who lived another four miles from the lunatic who devoted is life to coming up with new types of bullets... since the left hand didn't know what the right was doing, Wing was able to procure everything he needed with no-one being any the wiser as to what he was really up to.

Not that that didn't take time. There were a few maniacs around here who were genuinely intelligent, but separated from larger society by temperament or trauma, and those bastards had put together magic dampeners to protect their... _ugh_, 'blast radius' from unwanted visitors. Particularly him and his void travelling magic. It was amazing what they were doing with technology these days. Amazing, and a pain in the ass. As such, whenever Wing needed materials he could only get here, he had no choice but to rent a 4x4, strap on his hiking boots, and slog it out the old fashioned way. 

Wing had put this meeting off as long as he could, but with a deadline coming up and this being the last thing he needed, he held his nose (metaphorically) and dived in. It was late as night when he arrived at the cabin in the woods. It looked like the kind of place a machete-wielding murderer would live, suitably ramshackle and overgrown with vegetation. He wasn't fooled, though - the cabin was just a showroom, a suitably frightening facade to scare off any hikers stupid enough or lost enough to make it this far into the mountains. The minuscule, state-of-the-art cameras (which he only knew were there because he had provided and installed them) were proof that the actual base of operations was elsewhere.

Wing threw off his pack, the heavy camping material hurting his shoulders. He didn't expect for a moment that the person he was visiting would allow him to stay at his home, even at this late hour, but if he played his cards right he might just wrangle the cabin. Anything was better than sleeping outside. Or in a _tent_. UGH. With nothing else to do, he lit a cigarette, leaned on a tree, and waited. Were he a poetic sort, he might remark on the way the silver moonlight fell between the branches, the gentle hooting of a nearby nest of owls, or how the ever so slight chill and gentle trickling noise gave away the fresh mountain stream close by. But he wasn't a poetic sort. Instead, he thought about his experiments waiting for him at home, and exactly what he was going to use them for.

It took a while for his host to arrive - Wing had smoked nearly his entire pack of cigarettes - and when he did, he seemed... distracted.

"Good evening, major." Wing greeted, knowing that any perceived lack of manners on his part could make this a wasted journey "Thank you for coming out to meet me."

The major - what army gave him that rank, Wing didn't know - just grumbled at him, focused on something over his shoulder.

"Something wrong?" he asked as he picked his bag back up, making his movements nice and visible.

The major seemed to be at war with himself about something, growling and huffing to himself like a boar. Wing let him stew, ever patient, until he came to a decision.

"Okay, Gaster, we're gonna need to do things a little differently this time." he finally said "Don't ask fucking questions and we all get what we want, alright?"

Wing put on his most patient smile. His line of work often led him to meet with some... eccentric people. He had learned a long time ago what to let go, and with whom.

"If needs must." he capitulated.

The major pulled a black scarf from his coat, and proceeded to cover Wings eyes with it, before grabbing his arm firmly.

"Do not count your steps." he ordered "If I think you're counting our steps, I will throw you off a cliff, you hear?"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Despite his obvious paranoia, the major was one of the saner people in this part of the world, so Wing allowed himself to be led. Other people around here he wouldn't even let out of his eyeline, let alone blindfold him.

"I'll bring you back when our business is done, then you leave." he went on "No questions."

The skeleton was smart enough to know what this meant - they were going to his home. The major didn't want him to know where he lived, but for some reason it was imperative they go there. 

Curious...

"No questions." he agreed "No counting steps."

The major grunted before falling into silence. Of course Wing counted his steps - he wasn't a fool, afterall - but all he learned was that the man was leading him in circles, no doubt not trusting the good doctor further than he could throw him.

Eventually, they came to a stop.

"Look forward, not around." the major ordered, before taking the blindfold off.

As his eyelights adjusted to the moonlight, Wing had to raise a browbone - before him stood a wooden outhouse, complete with crescent moon-shaped hole in the door. The sight of the endless night behind it suggested it stood on top of a cliff, which only raised further questions for the scientist. However, mindful of his present company, he kept said questions to himself.

The major walked to the outhouse, almost like he was in a hurry, unshackling the padlock that kept the door closed, and beckoned him over. Wing was reticent - although monsters didn't strictly _need_ to use the toilet (unless they ate a meal of human food), he did know what they were for. Not being an expert in the matter, it didn't occur to him that the outhouse was noticeably larger than usual - large enough to comfortably fit two people standing, with room to spare.

"Stand on the other side." the major ordered, pointing at the porcelain toilet that was most likely older than them both.

Wing did as he was told. The major took the long metal chain of the flush in one hand and pulled, keeping it taught, as he keyed in a passcode on what looked like a digilock beside him. Wing probably could have easily remembered the code, had he cared enough to try. He didn't even care enough to note what a lapse of security it was for the major that he hadn't covered it up better. There was a click, the floor shuddering slightly as a trapdoor was released. Only now did the major release the chain, opening the trapdoor fully. At the bottom of the short flight of stairs was what could only be described as the front door - the kind of which would be found in any nice suburban house. The major unlocked it, once again gesturing Wing through, before locking everything up behind him.

What lay beyond the door was a pleasant surprise: many of these paranoid nuts lived in abject squalor, whatever furniture they had covered in dirt and mould, with piles of waste on every flat surface. The major seemed to have his shit together far more, as the kitchen/living room area Wing found himself in was clean and well kept. The furniture was old, and had been repaired many times, but it _had_ been repaired, which was more than he could say for many people around here. There were no piles of dirt, empty cans of skunked beer, or plates left unwashed so long they could now only be cleaned by fire. There was mess and clutter, but no more than any other home. It looked like a place a sane person lived.

Wing looked around as subtly as he could, pretending not to notice the major hastily putting things away, hiding picture frames and the like. The wall behind him was rock, the one in front of him glass. The outhouse had been on a cliff... had this place been carved out of the mountain? If so, impressive. On either side of the room were doors - the open one beside the kitchen led to a bathroom, which again looked fairly clean, even if the strong smell of antiseptic, and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on, wafted from within it.

"Have a seat." the major told Wing "And keep _very_ still." 

"I won't touch anything." he promised, brain already planning over how being allowed into the majors home could be used to his advantage in the future.

"That's not my concern." was the answer, before the major opened the closed door and walked through.

Wing sat himself at the small kitchen table. What would have been a breathtaking view was spoiled somewhat by branches and camo netting, no doubt to hide the glare of the sun on the glass from those in the valley below. He almost missed the noise - the gentle pad of paws on carpet - but the low, curious 'boof' definitely caught his attention.

The dog was ENORMOUS. If he had to label it, Wing would say it was a leonberger, built solid and standing almost four foot off the ground. The scientist was a little impressed - usually guys around here went for dobermans or pitbulls, something that looked like it would rip your throat out as soon as look at you... this dog had a little bow on its head.

Regardless, Wing remembered his hosts warning, and stayed very still as the animal investigated him. When it was done, it let out a low, unhappy growl.

"Oi!" the major barked as he returned, getting the dogs attention "Get away. Guard."

The animal was well trained, leaving Wing alone and going back to the door, where it sat like a mountain - almost aggressive in its immovability. The major took the only other seat at the table, putting the metal box he usually bought to the cabin on top of it.

"I finished it last week." he admitted "It was tricky, but it was doable."

From the box, the major pulled what looked like a rubix cube. Only a fool would attempt to solve it, however.

"It's got a range of around five metres." he went on "If you make it any bigger, people will realise it's fake."

"Close range only." Wing accepted, leaning forward to get a proper look "And to mix it?"

"You turn the colours, like you would a normal cube. Depending on how you turn it, the capsules inside break, and the chemicals mix. Three yellows in a diagonal get you chlorine gas, three reds in a line, and it's tear gas."

"Did you write instructions?" 

"Don't I always?"

A screech of static rung out in the air, disrupting the meeting. The major swore to himself, looking to the stone wall, where an intercom buzzed and screamed.

"Hey, major!" a voice demanded through the crackle "I got that shit you asked for. Where are you?"

Again, that conflicted look crossed his hosts face.

"I... have to deal with this." he decided, must faster than before.

"Go ahead." Wing smiled.

It took him two days to get here, he could afford to be patient a little longer. It wasn't an act of charity, though - he had a lot of fucking money riding on this. 

"Don't. Touch. Anything." the major hissed at him anyway, before almost running from the room and back out to the woods.

Wing wondered briefly what was going on, but at the end of the day he didn't care enough to find out.

There was a clatter, like a glass had fallen to the carpeted ground. The dog was immediately alert, and it certainly got Wing's attention too.

Was there someone else here? 

Wing kept quiet and listened. Shuffling. The squeak of a mattress. The scuffing of uncoordinated feet. A cough.

"Missy?" a young voice called.

The dog was torn, wanting to go to the voice, but not disobey its master. Another cough signalled the source of the voice was growing closer.

A child appeared at the door. Wing could practically feel the heat radiating from them, and combined with the glassy look in their eyes and knotty, unkempt hair, it was clear that the child was very sick.

The dog let out a gentle 'boof', spinning where it sat to face the child, but not moving from its post. With a great amount of clumsy effort, the child pet the dog.

"What are you doing here?" they asked it, voice unsteady "Where's dad?"

'Dad'... The major had a child? It wasn't unheard of, but... surprising, all the same. He had never mentioned having a child, but considering how paranoid the bastard was... and said child being sick would explain his distraction.

The dog let out another low growl, head turning slightly to Wing as if telling the little human he was there. Indeed, the child soon saw him, swaying on their feet as they turned. It took their feverish mind a moment to react, their little body taking what would have been a defensive stance under normal circumstances.

"Who are you?!" they demanded "Where's my dad?! What-?! Wha..."

They child's speech broke off as they braced the wall, proceeding to vomit all over the front of their pyjamas. Suddenly, Wing could place the smell coming form the bathroom. The child head clearly seen sick for a while...

Wing... wasn't made of stone. As the child spluttered, tears forming in their eyes, he was reminded of his younger brothers many forays with illness. Before he knew it, he was on his feet, scooping the child up under their armpits and lifting them over the dog, who could only continue its quiet barking and pace in the place it's master had told it to stay.

"Hey now, you'll be alright." he told the child "I'm a doctor. Your father will be back in a moment."

He placed the child on the kitchen counter next to the sink. So severe was their fever, they didn't have any immediate reaction to him removing their soiled top and placing it in the sink, running the water over the fabric so the bile wouldn't stain.

"... where's my dad?" the child asked again, his previous answer lost to the illness.

Wing repeated his answer as he pressed a hand to their head. Their temperature was dangerously high, and they were panting. They needed water, the colder the better, so that's what Wing provided.

The child was very... slight. Delicate looking, even without their obvious illness. No doubt this wasn't the healthiest environment to grow up in. As they drunk their water, Wing couldn't help but notice the way their throat bulged as they swallowed. Disgusting as it was, the human body was a fascinating thing. This one was desperately trying to grow and mature, given away by the just-too-large hands and feet, the gentle curves breaking through the childish lines... the way they panted, exhausted from the mere act of drinking water in their feverish state, was almost... erotic.

Wing was suddenly in a lot of pain, the back of his knees, right arm, and face exploding into agony. Also, he was on the floor.

"The fuck do you think you're doing?!" the major roared at him, child scooped into his arms "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't KILL YOU?!"

The child... no, the young adult in his arms made what sounded like a whimpering noise, distracting the major long enough to mind his temper.

"The child threw up." Wing pointed out, sitting up and taking stock of any damage to his jaw "Did you forget I was a doctor?"

"Not that kind of doctor." the major knew, walking over and placing the child on the sofa, looking them over.

On the table beside the door was a large box. Within were all manner of medicines, safe foods like crackers and bread, and a few bottles of nutrient drink. Was this what the major had ordered? A care package?

Wing took a moment to collect his thoughts. Without his void travel available to him, he couldn't just take the device and go. Besides, it would put him in bad standing with a valuable supplier. He needed to be smart about this.

"Have you taken them to a physician?" he asked as he inspected the box's contents.

"Why?" the major growled over his shoulder.

"Because if you don't know what's wrong with them, then antibiotics could very well make it worse." he explained, picking the package out "And the wrong _type_ of antibiotics could be even worse." 

The major looked conflicted. No, he looked downright _worried_. It was the first moment of weakness Wing had ever seen in him. He opened his mouth as if to argue, but nothing came out. He even seemed it wilt as the youth leaned into him, seeking safety and comfort.

"I may not be a physician," Wing said patiently "But... well, there are children in my family as well."

"There are?" the major replied, looking surprised that he would confess to such a thing.

In their line of work, it would be a risky thing to expose.

"You're a father?"

"Oh no." Wing admitted "But my brothers are much, much younger. My youngest brother is seventeen. What is that, two years older than yours? Three?"

The major didn't answer, but Wing didn't expect him to.

"My other brother... he gets sick very easily, and it's difficult for him to shake his fevers. When I saw your child so unwell... I guess I went into autopilot. I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds."

The major was clearly thinking. His eyes darted to and fro a second before he got to his feet, going over to finally turn off the water in the sink. No doubt he saw the state of the pyjama top within.

"Maybe I... overreacted." he conceded "I've been somewhat on edge lately..."

"I understand entirely." Wing promised "I can't imagine how that must have looked. Listen, I need to return my rental car anyway, why don't I drop you both at the hospital tomorrow? You can make sure you have the right medicine, if nothing else." 

"And what would you want in return for such kindness?" the major challenged, gathering up the child to carry back to their room.

"No charge." Wing assured "Just a gesture of good faith... one parental figure to another."

The major huffed, but didn't say no, as they disappeared back through the other door. He called to the dog shortly after, who obediently followed.

'Gesture of good faith'... sometimes even he surprised himself with the bullshit that came out of his mouth. Every single thing he did was just in service to a larger goal. Keeping his suppliers sweet was one of the easier parts of his job. As he stared out of the glass front of the bunker, he pulled a fresh pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket, turning it over thoughtfully in his hand. His mind was occupied with the image of that delicate throat, rising and falling as it swallowed. Those bright, glazed eyes... the most beautiful eyes...

He was bought back to the room when the door closed, the major shutting the dog in with his progeny. 

"Mind if I smoke?" the skeleton asked.

"I do mind." the major admitted, but proceeded to open what Wing had thought was a window in the bunkers glass front.

In fact, it was a door, leading out onto a balcony. It was utilitarian space, but big enough for the two of them to stand. Wing grabbed the rubix grenade so the two could talk shop, putting it in his pocket before following.

"I'm sure I don't need to ask," the major said as he closed the door behind him "Not to mention my kid to anyone."

"Not at all. The day my youngest brother is strong enough to handle himself in this business cannot come soon enough, let me tell you."

"He following your footsteps?" his host asked casually, pulling his own cigarettes from his pocket and lighting up.

"He isn't, shall we say, burdened with aspiration." Wing excused, leaning on the low, cold concrete railing "No particular talents either. Staying in the family business is what's best for him."

"And you're okay with that?" the major asked, somewhat sceptical "You don't want better for him?" 

"You're showing your hand, major." Wing teased "You have some big plans for your child?"

"My plans have nothing to do with it." he chuckled "The kid's already smarter than I'll ever be. Stubborn too, wilful as all hell... I swear the brat only learned how to talk so they could talk back to me."

They both chuckled at the mental image, taking a moment to smoke in silence. From this vantage point, Wing could make out the lights of a few other dwellings dotted around the mountain.

"Time waits for no man." he supposed "What do you imagine your child will do in the future? How's their education?"

"Nothing official, but you know that means nothing." the major shrugged "Kids don't learn by sitting in classrooms and pushing pencils all day. Parents need to take more responsibility to teach them useful things."

Wing took the rubix grenade from his pocket and fiddled with it. Your average grenade or gas canister would attract attention, particularly in areas of high security. Who would look twice at a childs toy, though? It was a marvel of engineering, to be sure.

'_The kid's already smarter than I'll ever be_', he said... Was that the truth, or the bragging of a prideful father? 

"Have you ever thought about further education?" Wing asked.

"What do you mean?" the major challenged.

"Well..."

He took a moment to pick his words, turning to face his host properly.

"I may not be a physician, but I do have a PhD." Wing reminded him "I'd be happy to take them under my wing... no pun intended. If they're as smart as you say, I'm sure there's a lot I can teach them."

"Absolutely not." the major dismissed immediately, shoulders hardening "No child of mine is going to become a _drug dealer_."

"Oh please, I wouldn't even consider that." the skeleton assured "That's grunt work. Besides, I have other pursuits."

"Grand larceny." he knew "We can do better."

"Hey now, we make a very good living." Wing defended "My brothers have never wanted for anything, and neither would your child."

"That sounds more like a marriage proposal than a business one." the major snorted.

A marriage proposal... 

That delicate throat... those beautiful eyes.

Time waits for no man...

"What if it was?" Wing asked.

"Excuse me?"

It was not a question. It was a threat, daring him to go on.

"I don't mean me." Wing assured, holding up his palms to show he meant no harm "My brothers are much closer in age, one of them would be a better fit. And think about it logically - you weren't even a young man when your child was born, and you won't be around forever. What do you think your child will do when you die? Isn't it better for them to have another family to go to? A place where they can use the lessons you've taught them?"

The major was silent. His face was difficult to read.

"We can give your child a home." Wing pressed, trying his luck "A place they can be loved and cared for. A family of their own."

In his hubris, the skeleton thought it was winning him over. That he was making a good argument, and a man as smart as the major was sure to see that.

He was wrong.

"Sometimes," the human sighed "I really hate being right about people."

Wing didn't get the chance to wonder what that meant. He wasn't as paranoid as a man in his position probably should have been, or he would have wondered why the low concrete wall around the balcony _was_ quite so low. Not suspiciously so, but just low enough that if someone were to be pushed over it, they would be unable to right themselves.

And pushed he was.

Without complete access to his magic, his options were limited. Particularly, limited to helplessly flailing, desperate for purchase. The only thing he managed to grab was a fistful of camo netting, which was pulled from its tether by his weight as gravity claimed him. The cliff was high and jagged, extending rocks striking and shattering his bones as he fell.

Wing could easily have died that night. He probably would have, if that camo netting he had forgotten to let go of in his panic hadn't snagged on a tall tree, violently bringing his decent to a halt. The sudden stop broke every bone in his hand and nearly tore his arm right off, but it was better than hitting the ground at terminal velocity. After passing out under the tree for a few hours, Wing had managed to hobble back to where he left the car, only to find it gone. 

It was safe to assume the answer to his proposal was 'no'. 

* * *

You would have assumed it was a fever dream - there was no way your father had actually saved you from a husky-voiced grim reaper, afterall - but shortly after Shugs and Axe moved in next door to you, you went over one day to find your father grilling the two of them almost viciously, demanding to know if they had an older brother, and if so, what he did for a living. It was only then that you learned of your run-in with Dr Gaster, and exactly what it was he had suggested to your father.

You thought throwing him off a cliff might have been an overreaction, but had it been your child... you might have done the same. You had some choice words for your father - most of them revolving around how it was racist to assume all skeletons monsters knew each other - but promised to be mindful of his story.

You hadn't been suspicious when you were approached by Red... well, not suspicious of _that_, anyway. No red flags started flying as you got to know Edge. Everything that had happened with Axe had left you depressed and lonely, but you still had no reason to suspect it was connected to what your father has said.

And then Red bought his older brother to the cafe to meet you. The distinctive cracks up and down his face, the husky voice... fuck, he was even wearing all black, same as before. Every siren, alarm bell and flashing light went off in your head. You should have got an Oscar for how cool you played it, agreeing to go for a game of paintball while Wing was 'in town'.

Removing Anna from the equation was easy: the girl had a surprisingly delicate stomach, and a few leaves of over-ripe lettuce in her salad was all it took to have her vomiting up her very soul. She would never hear of you staying behind because of her, absolutely insisting you go and have fun with your boyfriend and his brothers.

Her words were salt in a very fresh wound. You had been right. You should have trusted your instincts, how could you be such a-!

No, not now. There would be plenty of time to be angry at yourself later.

Everything was fine for the first few rounds of paintball. None of them suspected anything, and so didn't even try to guard their weaknesses from you. Edge had a blind spot on his right side. Red couldn't work a gun well, let alone quickly. Wing was overconfident.

After lunch, you were paired up with the older brother, and the two of you disappeared into the woods to protect your base. The waistband of these chunky old clothes hid your handgun well.

"It's such a shame Anna couldn't make it." Wing mentioned as he broke the branch off a nearby tree "I was looking forward to getting to know her better. Do we know what was wrong with her?"

"Food poisoning." you explained with a shrug "I'd put money on it being her school lunches."

"I've never had the pleasure." he admitted with a laugh "But I'd believe it. Will you pass me that branch by your foot, please?" 

You picked up the branch. When Wing went to take it from you, you grabbed his arm. With a twist and a shift kick to the back of his knees, you had him face down on the ground, forcing his arm painfully off his back in the wrong direction. He was obviously shocked a moment, but recovered quickly.

"This feels familiar." he joked "Your father teach you that move?"

"So I'm right." you confirmed "You are Dr. Gaster."

"Guilty as charged. Will you let me up?"

"No."

Wing just made a quiet 'hm', and pressed his free hand to the floor as if to free himself via a one-armed push-up. The click of your safety turning off, and the cold steel of your handgun against his skull, made him stop.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I see." he mentioned, relaxing his posture as much as he could and tapping his fingers on the ground "So, what now?"

"I'm going to ask you some questions." you told him seriously "Lie to me and I'll shoot you."

Wing let out a humourless laugh. You weren't sure what was funny about the situation.

"Question one." you started anyway "Are you fucking serious? Tell me you weren't spending years planning this shit."

"A happy coincidence." he told you "My brothers were in town on business, and Sans happened to lay his eyes on you. 'Love at first sight', he said. I couldn't even believe it when he told me about you. I thought it had to be fate."

"I don't believe in fate." you confirmed, tightening the twist of his arm "And I told you not to lie."

"No lie. Whether you believe me or not is up to you, but it's the truth."

It was too stupid to be the truth. Unfortunately, that meant it probably was.

"And I bet you were just fucking _thrilled_." you challenged.

"To be proven right? Of course! Look how far you've come since leaving your father, just imagine how far you could go with the proper mentor! And that you and my brothers get along so well... just thinking about the time we wasted makes me angry."

"Then be angry." you told him "Because this is over. I will not be a pawn in your game."

"Pawn?" Wing echoed, your skin flushing with a cold sweat as he broke out in a sharp grin "What a cute image."

You shrieked as his back started to writhe, instinctively getting off him. Tentacles erupted from under his borrowed clothes, grabbing your limbs and forcing them apart. He was squeezing your wrist so tightly, you couldn't even pull the trigger of your gun, his grip not loosening in the slightest as he got to his feet, cradling his arm.

"Not as bad as what your father did." he mentioned "Still hurts, though."

One of his tentacles wrapped around your neck, keeping it in place and constricting just hard enough to stop you screaming for help. Not that you could, this far into the woods. Who would hear you?

"As for my game?" he went on, lifting you right off the ground to immobilise you further "My dear, I never thought of you as a pawn. You are, most certainly, the queen."

You instinctively thrashed away as he ran his fingers through your hair, but it only resulted in him tightening his grip.

"How _rough_ this game gets, however?" he practically purred at you "Well, that's up to you."

"bro, what the fuck?"

You both looked around. Red and Edge were stood maybe ten feet away, paintball guns slung over their shoulders. Red has disbelieving eyes locked on Wing, while Edge looked between them nervously.

"Ah, good timing." Wing attempted to dismiss "It seems your love actually did recognise me. I think that-"

"yyyyyeah, no." Red interrupted "that ain't the issue here. what the fuck were ya just doin'?"

You were glad you weren't the only one picking up on the serious rapey vibe Wing was giving off. The way Wings eye lights suddenly went very small gave away that he knew exactly what was going through his brothers head.

"T-they have a gun!" he tried to defend, spinning you around to show it off "I was defending myself!"

Red didn't even blink.

"'how rough the game gets is up to you'?" he paraphrased.

Wings smile did a nervous twitch.

"Sans-" he started.

"cupcake, paps is gonna take ya home now." Red said to you, eyes finally leaving his brother "we'll talk about this when i get back."

"Home?" Edge asked "As in... home-home, or...?"

"our place." his older brother clarified.

As Red walked forward, Wing released you. He had the presence of mind to take your gun, but not to stop you leaving with Edge.

"wing, what the fuck was that?!" you heard Red shout as you retreated.

"Sans, I know how that must have looked-"

"do ya really? 'cause it looked like ya were getting frisky with _my_ mate!"

The air around you started to crackle. Edge grabbed your arm to hurry you along.

"I honestly thought you'd be better than this at making plans." he mentioned, mostly to distract himself from his brothers fighting "Confronting him alone in the middle of the woods? That's more than unwise, it's..."

He slowed to a stop, eyes going wide as he realised what you must actually be doing. He spun on his heel, but you were faster, tackling him around the waist and forcing him to the ground.

The sound of gunfire rang out thought the forest. Not the harmless splat of paint pellets, but the cold pop of steel.

"SANS!" Edge screamed.

"Don't be an idiot!" you scolded, trying your best to hold him down as the gunfire continued "I'm giving you a fucking chance, numbskull!"

The only thing worse than the gunfire was its sudden stop. Edge froze. You could feel him trembling. Your father and his posse emerged from the trees, guns still hot in their hands.

"You're late." you scolded "I nearly got molested by that hentai freak."

"I had every faith in you, pumpkin." your father assured, holding out his hand to help you up "The hunt's not over, though - the fat one got away."

"Th-this was your plan?" Edge sobbed, rattling so hard you could hear it "Ha... haha... ironic..."

"What are we doing with this one?" 

"not a damn thing, that's what."

There was a knife to your throat. Red was a sneaky fucker when he wanted to be, and with his shortcuts, he had gotten behind you easily. The entire posse raised their weapons, but your father had the sense to order them down, not trusting their aim. Red was shaking as well, but not out of fear.

"ya okay down there, paps?" he growled, furious eyes locking on your father.

Edge looked almost ready to cry. You wouldn't blame him - he must be going through a lot of emotions right now.

"I... fine..." he answered, awkwardly struggling to get up.

"y'know, i honestly don't know what hurts more." Red growled "that my bro was puttin' the moves on my mate, or that ya tried to hurt my little bro."

"You don't get to talk about hurt!" you barked at him "This was all just some fucking scheme of yours! You hurt me, you hurt me friends-! What the fuck was your end game?!"

"i just wanted ya to love me." he insisted lowly, right next to your ear "that's all i ever wanted outta this."

"And Wing?" your father challenged "What do you think he wanted? He sure didn't waste any time trying to molest the one he _knew_ you were in love with, did he?"

In your peripheral, you could see Red baring his teeth, hissing like a croc ready to bite.

Red actually flinched as a large skeletal hand was lain on his arm.

"Sans... look around you." Edge begged "There's no way this can end well for us."

"it will, if ya get up and fight!"

Edge's jaw quivered a moment, his eyes darting between the two of you. Finally, he was still, his spine steeling with resolution.

"No."

"'no'?!" Red echoed "whaddaya mean, 'no'?!"

"Sans, do you have any idea how happy I've been recently?!" Edge cried, startling you both "Living my own life, with a _real_ job, making _real_ friends, doing what I want to do! And you want me to go _back_?!"

"paps-"

"We can have good lives!" he went on anyway "Without _any_ of this bullshit!"

"but wing-"

"Wing is dead! You're covered in his fucking dust! I can't... I won't let him control me anymore!"

You took the chance to look around as the brothers talked. Your father and his posse were ready to fire the second you broke Red's grip, even as they nodded in agreement to what Edge was saying.

"how do ya think this is gonna end, paps?" Red asked him, trying his best to keep his eyes everywhere at once "ya think these fucks are just gonna let us go?"

Edge looked into your eyes. He already knew the answer.

"If you and me just get up and leave," he answered "If we never look back... then yes."

Papyrus got to his feet. The fact that no-one stopped him leant gravity to his words.

"Sans..." he all but begged "... come with me. We can start again."

"are you seriously askin' me to turn my back on everythin' i ever worked for?" Red asked him, aghast "everythin' wing ever worked for?"

"I'm asking you what's more important to you." Edge confirmed "That... or me?"

It was a shame Anna wasn't here - she would have loved that line. It seemed to strike Red as well, as his posture went slack. Edge backed away a few steps, looking almost heartbroken. The world spun as you were shoved to the side, Red leaping after his brother. By the time you righted yourself again, both of them were gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A perhaps unexpected end. But wouldn't Sans always choose Papyrus over everyone else?


	13. Blackout (or What if Christmas? I Think Not Finished Properly)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What actually happened when reader-chan was blackout drunk at gyftmas?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay, I know the gyftmas story was a while ago now, but reading back over it, I can see that in my rush to get it finished by the end of the month, the ending turned out to be, well, rushed. As such, I've decided to elaborate a bit in this chapter, and include a few things that I missed in the first short story.

You were drunk. Considering your strict and public refusal to drink alcohol, this represented a problem.

Sugar leaned down to get a better look at your face - a little rosy, eyes glassy - but as a non-drinker, even the little you'd had would be enough to send you under. He called your name to get your attention, the delay in your reactions confirming his suspicions.

"Can I try some of your drink?" he asked, quiet enough that the others could continue their game uninterrupted.

"Sure, Shug!" you replied, a few tones too loud "It's kinda funny tasting, though."

Sugar took the offered glass and had a careful sip.

Vodka.

"everything okay?"

Despite trying to be covert about it, all eyes were now on the two of you. Sugar was sure he wasn't the only one who could tell you were a little loopy... 

"There's alcohol in this." he said simply.

Comic immediately looked at his own drink in suspicion before handing it off to Sam. 

"And?" BB wandered from his place on Reckless's lap "What's the big deal?"

"the big deal is they don't drink." Axe told him, placing his own drink down on the table "not when they have the choice."

He immediately gave everyone in the room the stink eye.

"anyone got something they want to admit to?"

His eyes lingered on Lust and Charm, but they just shrugged innocently.

"What's the big deal?" Anna asked, not quite looking at them "It's just a little vodka. This is supposed to be a drinking game!"

"So it was you." Sugar knew.

Anna flinched, not realising she had incriminated herself. A master of deception, she was not.

"Um... I mean..." she flustered, finally looking around "It's not a big deal! Everyone in college drinks, right? It's totally normal!"

"Anna, you can't just go around drugging people!" Sugar told her sternly.

"I didn't!" she immediately cried, face lighting up like Blackpool Illuminations "It's just vodka!"

"It's the same thing!"

"Oh, chill out, you worrywart." you interrupted, trying to take the drink back and missing by a mile, even before Sugar moved it out of your reach "It's not the end of the world!"

"Right!" Anna was quick to agree "Chill out, Sugar!"

The skeleton just groaned, handing the drink off to his brother and getting up.

"Game's over for us." he told his cousins "I'm going to make some coffee."

"Anna, I need you to tell me honestly." Sam said seriously, looking at the girl like a disapproving parent "Did you put alcohol in anyone else's drink?"

"What? Of course not! Why is everyone on my case all of a sudden?!"

"Don't worry about it, Sam." Sugar interrupted before they could say anything else "There's nothing we can say that's going to match the lecture she'll get tomorrow morning."

The human let out an aggrieved sigh, but did back off, taking what Sugar noticed was Comic's drink and downing the whole thing.

He tried not to stew too hard as he put the kettle on, getting the mug and coffee. He knew Anna was young, and even for her age she could be naive, but this was something else. Purposely getting someone drunk without their knowledge? How on earth could she think that was normal? Let alone for someone who had made their resolution not to drink alcohol very well known. And he knew no scolding he could give her could possibly match what you would do when you sobered up, but still! He wanted to tell her off! He wanted to yell at her until she understood why what she had done was wrong, because she clearly didn't! He wanted to send her to bed without dinner, ground her, take away her phone! THAT CHILD NEEDED PARENTING!!!!

Sugar took a deep breath, holding it a minute before sighing it out. It wasn't his job to parent her, no matter how frustrated he was. He'd never say so out loud, but he blamed your foster fathers lack of parental responsibility for a lot of your stresses. Your foster mother was better, but her job kept her away from home a lot, as did Miles's, so that only left you to keep an eye on Anna and-

"hey."

Sugar started, looking around at the voice. Comic leaned around him to look at the kettle.

"there enough for two?" he asked.

"Sure." Sugar sighed, grabbing another mug "You think there was alcohol in yours?"

"honestly, i've drunk so much for so long that i can't even taste it anymore. better safe than sorry."

Comic waited patiently as Sugar measured out another serving of the instant crap, waiting for the water to finish boiling.

"you okay?" he asked quietly, leaning on the counter.

"Hm? Sure. Why do you ask?"

"mainly 'cause your face is going on one hell of a journey." Comic told him "you wanna talk about it?"

Sugar busied himself pouring the water. It's not that he didn't want to talk to Comic, but he didn't want that particular can of worms spilling all over the floor when there were other things to worry about.

"It's nothing." he told his cousin tersely "I just get sick of being the only adult in the room sometimes, you know?"

"your human seems like the responsible sort." Comic pointed out.

"They are." Sugar confirmed "And now I have to babysit them as well because Anna thought it was normal to drug people. Here's your coffee. Excuse me."

He was trying not to be rude, he really was, but damn if those worms weren't trying their hardest to escape.

It seemed the game was over for everyone, and not a moment too soon in his opinion, as the TV was on, Sam was reading a book (with one eye on you), and the haphazard circle everyone had been sat in had disbanded. You were now sat on the floor, arms wrapped around BB, who you were hugging so hard his face was squishing a little.

"How are you so fucking cute?!" you demanded of him "What the shit?!"

"I get that a lot." BB told you, happy enough to hug you back "I'm adorable."

"And so humble." Reckless joined.

"Quiet you."

Sugar squatted down beside you, tapping your shoulder to get your attention.

"Shugs! My number one dude!" you cried when you noticed him, letting go of BB and wrapping your arms around his middle "I love you, bro!"

"Aw," BB pretended to sulk "You loved me a minute ago."

"'I love you, man' drunks are the best." Reckless teased "I'm surrounded by messy drunks. This guy here's a crier."

"I am not!" BB argued "And even if I was, at least I'm not a 'stealing shit' drunk, _Reckless_."

"reckless is a 'bad ideas' drunk." Stretch disagreed.

"Better than a 'eat everything in the house' drunk." BB thought.

"He doesn't do that because he's drunk." Reckless stage whispered.

"Hey, I need you to drink this." Sugar insisted, prying your arm from his waist.

"What's in it?"

"Coffee. You'll feel better."

You seemed to accept that easily, which for you was concerning - your paranoia of course extended to any food that you didn't personally make, and after hearing about the accidental cannibalism story, he could understand perfectly well why. Sugar kept a couple fingers on the mug, knowing the hot contents may shock your drunk mind, but you managed it without choking.

"Ugh, bitter." you complained, before shooting him a bright grin "Gimme some Sugar!"

Lust and Charm burst out laughing.

"S-Shut up!" he snapped at them, feeling his skull grow hot with magic "Her foster sister says that to me! She's four! Don't make it weird!"

"Where's Anna?" Sam noted.

Sure enough, the teenager wasn't sat where she had been before, and a cursory glance around confirmed she wasn't in the room.

"Probably off sulking." Sugar grumbled, not able to hide his bitterness.

Several glances got exchanged.

"i'll go-" Axe began to offer, getting up, only for his brother to wave him back down.

"I'd prefer you stay where I can see you." he said.

His tone made his brother wince, but he did sit back down. Uncomfortable silence fell like a heavy blanket over the whole room.

"Well!" Reckless declared, clapping their hands as they got up "I'll be right back!"

Sugar didn't care what they did, feeling the pressure rising in his skull as he tried to sober you up.

* * *

Reckless found Anna pretty easily - teenagers weren't exactly difficult to figure out. She was up in your room, curled up on her bed pretending to be watching a movie on her laptop. They got her attention by knocking on the door.

"Hey, kiddo."

"You gonna yell at me too?" she sulked.

"I get the feeling you don't know what yelling is." Reckless teased "Let me introduce you to my parents, then you'll know yelling."

Anna just fixed her stare on her laptop, tightening her arms around her knees. With a sigh, Reckless entered the room proper, sitting on the edge of your bed facing Anna, who was still trying her best to ignore them.

"Want to tell me what that was all about, kiddo?" they asked.

"What all what was about?" she challenged.

"C'mon, even at your age, you have to know that getting someone drunk without their knowledge isn't okay."

The huff Anna let out told Reckless they were spot on. The girl fiddled with the ring on her finger - the one you had received during secret santa - before she answered.

"I was just... I was just trying to help." she grumbled.

"Help?" 

"You don't understand!" Anna suddenly cried, uncurling herself "All that therapy, all these years! My whole family has tried so hard to help, but...! I'm just trying to make things _normal!"_

"Normal?"

"Oh come on, you know what I mean!" Anna scoffed "Normal college kids don't work 25 hours a week when they have a full scholarship, they go to parties and get drunk! They're not complete control freaks, they smoke weed and relax! They go off with their boyfriend, or girlfriend, or whatever, they don't spend their holidays with their friends from back home!"

"You seem to know a lot about what other people do." Reckless noted.

"You know what I mean." she repeated with a sigh "I'm just trying to help them be normal..."

"Your sibling?"

"Who else?"

"You think they're a control freak?"

"Um, have you been paying attention at all the last few days?" she pointed out "You're the one who's been getting knives and pots thrown at you!"

"To be fair, I really am a terrible cook." Reckless justified "Between your friends being famine survivors and how much all that food must have cost, not wanting to waste it makes a lot of sense to me."

"Yeah, but come on!" Anna argued "Is it too much to ask for my siblings to behave like siblings rather than another set of parents?!"

"There are more of you?"

"Yeah, our brother. He's waay older than us, though."

"Hmm," Reckless hummed "You think, maybe, that one downstairs didn't know how to act like an older sibling when your parents adopted them, so took their cues from your waay older brother?"

"Well... yeah?"

"And maybe there's a good reason they're being so overprotective?" they went on "Like, maybe the woods are full of nutcase home-invaders, and there's a couple of dodgy sex maniacs in the next room?"

"But they're _always_ like this!" Anna argued "It isn't just now!"

"Considering that group earlier was their first family? I'd take responsible over that."

Anna just pouted, crossing her arms again. Reckless glanced at the movie playing on her laptop, and suddenly understood where she might have gotten some of her ideas of what 'normal' was from.

"You know none of that is real, right?" they said gently "Back when I was in college, the guys who were drinking and partying every night didn't do very well. It wasn't a problem for the guys whose parents were paying for them, but those of us on scholarship had to keep our grades up."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I had a job too. I stacked shelves, 18 hours a week. It didn't leave me with a lot of free time to party."

"But didn't you miss out on the whole experience?" Anna despaired "In they movies they always-"

"The movies aren't real, Anna." Reckless repeated "Nobody would watch them if they were. And I'm here to tell you, there's no such thing as 'normal'. One of my best friends at college was 15 years older than the rest of us and had 4 kids. Another one was caring for their dying mother. You think either of them cared about partying?"

"... I guess not..." she conceded.

"I know I'd kill to have siblings like yours." they went on "I haven't spoken to mine in nearly 15 years."

"15 years?!" the girl gasped "You aren't that old!"

"The time sneaks up on you, believe me." Reckless chuckled "They weren't exactly accepting of my lifestyle. That one downstairs may be strict, but it's clearly coming from a place of love."

Anna's eyes flicked over Reckless's face, clearly trying to discern what they meant by 'lifestyle.' It seemed she had learned at least something from you, though, as she didn't ask. She seemed to be thinking about things carefully as she took a deep breath, sighing it out as she nodded her head. She closed the laptop.

"I'm gonna be grounded for life tomorrow." she decided.

"Maybe." Reckless agreed "But if you apologise and mean it, I think that will go a long way."

"Okay," she sighed again "At least I have until tomorrow to think of a good apology."

"Tomorrow?"

"Well, yeah, they're drunk now, they won't remember it." 

"Anna, it's not your sibling you need to apologise to." Reckless informed her "I mean, you do, but they're not the main person."

This one clearly stumped the girl, her face going on quite the journey as she tried to puzzle it out. 

"Kiddo, it's Sugar you need to apologise to." they explained.

"Sugar?"

"Your boys Shugs is clearly on his last leg." Reckless went on "Caring for his brother can't be easy, and working retail on top of that? I bet he was looking forward to having his best human around to help him out. The one who's always sober and reliable, who can shut down problems before they start. Now he's got to take care of them, too."

"... I didn't think of it that way..." she admitted, voice small, letting out a humourless laugh "I'm a terrible person, aren't I?"

"You're a kid. Kids make mistakes."

"Think he'll accept my apology?"

"If you mean it."

Anna took a moment more to think, the weight of her actions finally sinking in the appropriate amount, before she sighed a final time, and got up from her bed to go back downstairs.

* * *

You had one hell of a signing voice. 

If anyone knew how to sober up, it was Sans, and Sugar seemed happy enough to take his advice. Who knew that belting out karaoke would help with that? Sam certainly didn't. The singing was one thing, but dancing on the coffee table they could do without. BB and Lust weren't helping, holding you up on either side as they sung along (poorly), creating a chorus-line of drunks stamping their feet to '[Livin' on a Prayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDK9QqIzhwk)'.

"You know we have to pay for that table if they break it." Sam pointed out.

The skeletons seemed reluctant to interfere, which Sam found odd. Looking to Sans to an explanation, the monster merely shrugged.

"humans are strong." he pointed out "and that one's got lv. with them being drunk, we might end up with some broken bones."

"they wouldn't do that." Axe grumbled at him.

"people aren't themselves when they're drunk."

"well, you would know." 

Oh boy... Sam had heard that Axe liked to provoke people, but they had yet to see it - apparently he had been behaving himself until now. To Sans credit, he didn't rise to it, just clenching his teeth and looking the other way.

"think i'm gonna go to bed." he decided "this party's getting a bit lively for me."

"Good idea." Sam agreed "These guys are pretty loud - why don't you sleep in my room? I'm sure Reckless won't mind."

"yeah, and take lust wit' ya." Axe grumbled "reckless won't mind."

It looked like it physically pained him, but again Sans ignored him.

"night, babe."

He didn't even storm out, simply short-cutting away. Axe continued to stare into the fire in the hearth, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He was clearly upset, but what little Sam knew about him gave them pause - he might be dangerous to approach, especially when upset. Unfortunately, not everyone present had the self control (or sobriety) to let his comments go.

"What the heck's that supposed to mean?!" BB challenged, stopping his dancing and turning with extreme difficulty to face his cousin.

"nope." Stretch immediately said, putting down his blunt and getting up to stop the argument "nope nope nope."

"c'mon, ya gotta be pretty _reckless_ to go after a guy like _lust_." Axe smarmed.

"Shut your mouth." BB demanded angrily, avoiding his brother trying to pick him off the coffee table.

"wassa matter, ya gettin' _blue_ balls?" he went on anyway.

"bb, bb, cool it." Lust himself tried to diffuse, but seeing as he was also drunk it wasn't very effective "he's just trying to get a rise out of you, y'know?"

"reckless sure ain't getting a rise outta him."

"Oh, that's it!" BB yelled, all but leaping from the table to lunge at him.

Luckily, Stretch was grounded enough to use his blue magic, pulling his little brother away.

"Papy, let me go, I'm gonna kick his ass!" BB shrieked, kicking desperately against his grip.

"you can't even reach my ass!" Axe spat.

"You don't get to talk shit about my friends just because you don't have any!"

A loud shushing silenced the argument, the bizarreness of the noise attracting everyone's attention. Swaying on your feet, you climbed down off the table, still shushing.

"Eeeverybody chill." you urged "It's gyftmas, remember?"

"He's the one being a dick!" BB yelled.

It seemed that was the last straw for Axe, as he jumped to his feet to fight back, starting a domino effect of everyone else getting up. Sam did the opposite, backing up further into the sofa to stay out of the way. They could handle Sans drunk, but this many skeletons, some of them very large? Hopefully things wouldn't come to blows... 

"Boop!"

You weren't a mage, but damn if you couldn't work magic - with a playful poke on the ridge of BB's nose, you managed to drain all the tension from the room, even from the furious skel himself.

"Relax!" you laughed "I'll take care of Axe. Okay?"

Were you flirting? BB seemed to think so, as his skull lit up bright blue. However, you left him and went to Axe, wrapping your arms around his wide chest. Axe shot BB a shit-eating grin, but Stretch had the good sense to drag his brother away, probably to sober up.

"Loooove you~" you told the skel, continuing to cling to him as he led you back over to the sofa.

* * *

Now that she looked at him, Anna could see exactly how tired Sugar was. Maybe it was because of how far away from his eye level she was, but she had never noticed the dark shadows under his eyes, the slight droop of his shoulders. He even sighed, rubbing the back of his neck in obvious fatigue.

"I accept your apology, Anna." he said "I know you didn't do it out of malice."

"Deliberate or not, I should be a better friend." she justified "I mean, we're neighbours, and I didn't even realise you were struggling. You've been looking out for me these last few months, and I've just been making things difficult for you."

"You aren't that bad." he told her with a tired smile "Most of the time. My brothers condition just gets worse this time of year... something about the snow. It stresses him out. He's always better when..."

He trailed off, eyes distant, but for the first time, Anna could read him like a book: Axe was always better when _you_ were around.

"You really do love them, don't you?" she said.

"Of course I do." he answered plainly "They're my best friend."

Anna thought she knew about love - in any movie she'd ever seen, there would have been a 'but' in the middle of that sentence, followed by the characters angst at being relegated to the friendzone. There was no 'but' for Sugar, and there was something so pure about that that she couldn't help but be touched.

"I'll try to be a better friend from now on." Anna swore "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Can you watch Axe for me? Make sure he doesn't wonder off into the woods?"

"Sure."

He gave her that smile again before turning back to the kitchen counter, trying to come up with something to help you sober up faster. Now that the most emotionally difficult apology was out of the way, Anna just needed to worry about how you were going to react in the morning... Putting that aside for now, she went to find Axe, locating him in the same room he was in before. He was sat in front of the fire, staring blankly into it.

"maybe if you weren't such a fucking bitch all the time, that shit wouldn't happen." he grumbled.

"i ain't taking life advice from yer human-eatin' psycho ass." Red fired back, scrolling through his phone as he sat on the sofa on the other side of the room.

"rather be a psycho than a bitch."

"Okay, okay, that's enough." Anna soothed, although she sounded less like you and more like a pre-school teacher "We're all friends here, right?"

Red scoffed, taking a big swig of his whiskey before answering.

"darlin', ya got no idea-"

"don't call her 'darlin'." Axe snapped, grabbing Anna's hand and pulling her down on the floor with him "stay away from her."

"little young for ya, ain't she?" Red fired back "ya a paedophile now as well as a murderer?"

"takes one to know one."

"Enough!" Sugar declared, startling everyone with how loud he was as he entered the room, leftovers sandwich in hand "Hasn't today been stressful enough without you two going at each other?!"

Suitable chastised, the two skeletons looked away from each other, Red to his phone and Axe back to the flames. Rather than calming down, Sugar only got more tense as he looked around the room.

"Sans, where are they?" he asked.

"where's who?" Axe responded.

"I thought you were watching them!"

Axe looked around. Red was the only other person in the room.

"watching who?"

* * *

There was nothing quite like smoking a joint under the stars. This far away from the lights of the city, the whole galaxy was clear as day above the trees the surrounded the house. It was the quiet Rus really wanted, but the view certainly didn't hurt.

When he first heard one of the windows below him opening, he didn't think much of it. He assumed it was the little brother party going on in Creampuff's room, since he could hear their voices growing louder, but when the sound of scraping roof tiles met his ears, he had to look over. You were already stood on the roof, which would have been quite the accomplishment even if you weren't drunk, and the roof wasn't covered in a thick layer of snow.

That... was very unsafe.

"dare i ask?" Rus called, getting your attention.

"I saw a frisbee on the roof yesterday!" you told him "I came to look for it!"

Between the rosy cheeks and questionable decision making, it was clear Sugar's sobering efforts hadn't worked.

"how did you even get up here?"

"Window! Obviously!"

"obviously."

You forgot about your mission pretty quickly, picking your way across the roof with surprising ease until you reached him, flopping down onto the roof beside him and staring up at the temporarily clear heavens. As you let out a sigh, the cold turned your breath into a cloud of vapour, which floated up and disappeared into the air. Rus wasn't sure why the sight caught his attention, but watching the way it swirled and shimmered fascinated him.

"It's been years since I've seen the stars like this." you told him, eyes fixed above "I really did come home for Gystmas..."

"heh, your family's a real trip." Rus said, taking another puff.

"Why do you think I left?" you agreed, before reaching over and plucking the joint from his fingers.

"help yourself." he laughed, amused by your audacity.

You fell into silence, watching the stars and smoking in the snow for a while.

"Anyone ever tell you you're hot?" you asked, making him choke.

"e-excuse me?" he managed to cough out.

"You are, though." you stated plainly "Like, really hot."

Rus couldn't help but laugh - you really were audacious! 

"your type, am i?" he teased.

"Maybe." you admitted "A few years ago."

"but not anymore?"

"i guess my tastes have changed." you shrugged.

"story of my life." he sighed theatrically "what's your type these days?"

"Sweet." you answered immediately "Reliable. Responsible."

"sugar?"

"Maybe." you admitted "I just... see all my friends at college trying to find love and getting their hearts broken. It's all so much... _drama_, y'know?"

"amen."

"The will-they-won't-they, the cheating, and like, there's this whole secret coded language that everyone just assumes you know?! Like, you can't call someone the day you get their number, but you can't leave it more than three days, and you're supposed to know if they want a text or a phone call based on the alignment of the fucking stars over Jupiter or something?! Fuck that!"

"preach it."

"These kids are just exhausting! Who has the energy?!"

"not me."

"And yet..."

Rus looked at you when you trailed off, but your eyes were still fixed on the stars.

"I want to be loved." you admitted "I want to fall in love, have someone fall in love with me. I just... I don't want the drama, y'know?"

"yeah... yeah, i think i do." he agreed, taking a drag and looking back up himself "you know what i think?"

"What?"

"you should fall in love with sugar. you know he'd worship you."

"I don't want to be worshipped." you dismissed "I want to stand beside him as an equal."

"you don't think you are?"

"Have you _met_ him?" you chuckled "He's too cool. It can't be done."

Rus chuckled too. Sugar was pretty cool. 

"we should go back inside." he suggested "sitting out in the snow isn't good for humans."

You just hummed in response, closing your eyes. Rus took it upon himself to be the sober one, and took your hand to shortcut you back into the house.

* * *

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Not a single thing was going right for Red. He couldn't get you alone all day, you hated your present, and now you knew he had business affiliations with your father, it put you on the defensive. And now that you were drunk, he couldn't even put the moves on you without it making him a creep!

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

He had the worst luck.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

"You don't think they would have gone outside, do you?" Anna fretted, kneeling over the back of the sofa and looking out into the endless blackness of the forest.

"i doubt it, darlin'." he assured "it's a big house. one time i got so wasted i woke up in the airing cupboard in a nest of clean washing."

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

"would ya please stop that? it's really gettin' on my nerves."

"Sorry."

Anna stopped tapping the ring on the glass of the window. Red was kind of pissed she was still wearing it, it just reminded him how quickly you had dismissed it. Did you not like pink? Was it the cut? 

A high-pitched scratching sound from the window caught Red's attention, making his teeth hurt from how shrill it was.

"what the heck are ya doin' over there?" he asked, even putting his phone down.

Anna was looking at her hand. On the window was a long, straight scratch.

"kid?"

When she looked at him, her eyes were wide, and she was clutching the hand that sported the ring.

"I... I think this is real..." she said.

"well it ain't imaginary."

"No, I mean-!"

She huffed, climbing down to sit properly on the chair.

"I think it's a real diamond!" she gasped "It cut the glass!"

Smart girl.

"there's lotsa things that cut glass." Red excused "it's probably just quartz."

It was not.

"But I-!"

The air shifted slightly as Rus short-cutted into the room with you in tow, waves of cold roiling off you both. So you had been outside. 

"hey."

"hey."

"Oh my god, where were you?!" Anna cried, forgetting all about the ring as she got to her feet "Sugar is looking for you!"

You looked like you were going to respond, when a strange look crossed your face. Before anyone could react, you pushed Anna to the side, spun on your heel, and threw up.

All over Red.

* * *

It was late. Pretty much everyone had gone to bed, leaving the house bathed in silence and darkness. The little brother party - Creampuff, Edge, Charm and Black - ended in a drunken sleepover, having dropped where they sat, leaving the end of their movie to play to itself. Reckless and Stretch had wrangled BB, talking him down from fighting with Axe by showering him with attention. Sam and Comic were asleep, and Lust was still on the phone with his insurance company - something about his car getting crushed by a giant gyftrot on the way up the mountain. Why he had waited until so late on Gyftmas night to call them, Sugar couldn't begin to guess.

Sugar himself sat on the bathroom floor, keeping your hair out of your face as you yelled for Huey into the porcelain throne. His brother was sat against the opposite wall, trying desperately to stay awake. When it seemed like you couldn't possibly have any more to expunge, Sugar made sure you drank a glass of water and sat back, resting you against his chest. Axe snorted himself awake, shaking his head.

"You should go to bed." Sugar urged "I can handle this on my own."

"thought you wanted me to stay where you can see me?"

Ouch. Right in the feels.

"I'm sorry I said that." he apologised "It was jerky of me. I was stressed out."

"if anyone's allowed to be stressed, it's you." Axe shrugged "sorry i was picking fights."

"Well, it's not a family Gyftmas without an argument." Sugar chuckled, before sighing deeply "Still better than last year."

"yeah, i got a feeling we'll be sleeping in tomorrow." his brother agreed, before yawning widely "next year, let's just stay home. just the three of us."

The crystal around Sugars neck emitted a small pulse, as it had been doing most of the night. His brothers patience. Your love.

"You know what? I like the sound of that."

(On another floor of the house, Red was still in the shower, desperately making sure to get all the vomit out of his joints...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was way longer than I thought...
> 
> Just a reminder that the last part of the Love? series - K.I.S.S - Keep It Simple Stupid - is now in production! I'll be writing that while The Burning Mountain is on hiatus. So, if you want some Swapfell action, or think there needs to be more disabled reader-inserts in your life, then check it out!


	14. BB Getting Reckless? It's More Likely Than You Think!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having one of those weeks where I hate everything I write, but if I try and do something else it feels like giving in to the negative feelings, so I just keep writing and just keep hating it, but I don't want to do anything else and it's KIND OF HELL.
> 
> Hopefully this is better than I think it is.

The water was so warm, that if not for the gentle back-and-forth of the tide and all the fish, BB might have thought he was in a bath. He couldn't believe how many colours existed down here, from the bright, bright yellows and soft pinks, to the incredibly neon purples and midnight blues. The fish were just as bright, swimming all around them in schools and hiding between the blooms of coral as they passed. The little skeleton never imagined he'd get to see this with his own eyes - his kind were not exactly known for their ability to swim - and it was blowing his mind the extent of the life he saw before him. He had always pictured the ocean as a vast expanse of water and darkness, but this? This was... unbelievable!!!

He could feel the beat of your heart against his back, the warmth of your flesh. It was your human body, attached to his with sturdy black straps, that allowed him to have this experience. You checked the oxygen levels in the tank you shared like a boss before turning around, just in time to see a turtle glide past. BB almost felt like a child as he pointed to it, its large flipper just grazing the tip of his phalanges. He wanted to laugh in delight, to scream his excitement, and would have if not for the oxygen mask over his face.

This weighted floating was such a surreal experience - when BB used his floaties to play in the surf, he still felt the pull of gravity on his bones, but not now. How were you able to decide when to stop falling, change direction, how did you rise up through the water like it was second nature? Whoever said humans couldn't do magic was so, so wrong. This was absolutely magical! It almost felt like flying!

(He was a little frightened, truth be told. Had it been anyone but you he was strapped to, there was no way he would have gotten off the boat. The steady, never-ending feel of your heart told him he was safe with every beat.)

It felt like far too soon that you started to ascend, leaving behind the brilliance of the reef and returning the surface. BB wasn't nearly done being astounded, but you'd be here another week, there was every chance he could come back.

"OH MY GOD!" he yelled the second he threw off his mask "THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!"

"I know, right?" you laughed as you removed your own "Did you see that big fuck-off eel?!"

"I did!"

You started back-stroking to the boat to keep BB's head above the water, and he let his hands glide through the surf. He really wished he could swim, it seemed so incredible! Before he knew it, you hauled yourself up onto the steady fibreglass of the vehicle.

"how was it?" Papyrus asked, barely looking up from his lounger, where he sat with a beer in one hand and a fishing rod in the other.

"Oh my god, Papy, it was AMAZING!" BB repeated "You will not BELIEVE the photo's I got!"

"Okay okay, keep still so I can unstrap us, at least." you requested.

"I for one would love to see them." Hapstablook told him, floating above a lounger as if he was sunbathing "Ghosts have even less chance of diving than skeletons do, darling." 

He pointedly side-eyed Papy, giving him a teasing smirk.

"Are you sure you won't be tempted, darling?" he asked.

"it's not that i don't trust reckless." the lanky skeleton swore "i just trust the boat more. even if it is glittery pink."

Hapsta just laughed as you released BB from the straps.

The bright pink, glittery boat really was something to see. It, like the luxury resort you were staying at, belonged to Hapsta's distant cousin, the one and only Mettaton! (Well, not quite one and only...). The celebrity robot had set his cousin up with a job singing at his resort for the summer season, and Hapsta had invited Stretch to come visit him. The older brother agreed to let you and BB come with on the condition that he got to have his own room which, considering you were here visiting his boyfriend, made perfect sense.

"What time do we need to be back?" you asked as you stowed the diving gear away.

"Oh, I don't need to be on stage until eight." Hapsta assured as BB showed him the photo's "We have plenty of time."

"Cool. You catch anything?"

"nothing edible."

After a few more hours, the group returned to the marina. The sky was just starting to turn, lighting up in gold and lilac, as they returned to the hotel.

"hey," his brother said quietly when Hapstablook was busy with the staff "you guys can entertain yourselves tonight, right?"

"Gonna make moon eyes at your boo again?" you teased.

"It's so sweet, the way you were sighing all last night." BB joined.

"shut up and get lost." he retorted, even though he was smiling ear to nonexistent ear.

* * *

"Don't get me wrong, I like the beach during the day." BB explained, slight slur in his voice from the amount of rum punches he had drunk "But there's something about the beach at night, y'know?"

"I know, right?" you agreed "It's all peaceful and shit!"

"Yeah! If we lived here, I'd be on the beach, like, every night!"

"Hell yes."

"Oh my god, Reckless, we should go skinny dipping!"

"Pfft, you are waaay too drunk to go near the water right now."

"Whaaa? I trust you to keep me upright!"

"And who's gonna keep me upright? I'm drunk too!"

The lift dinged as it arrived at your floor, the two of you stumbling out. Somehow you made it to your room without getting lost or falling over, collapsing down onto one of your beds to watch whatever was on tv this time of night.

"It's so weird." BB noted after a while, voice heavy as he fought off sleep "I can still feel the waves on my bones."

"It's cool, huh?" you agreed, not even opening your eyes "It feels like you're floating."

BB just hummed in reply, both of you asleep before the sound ended.

* * *

"Wait, the sun can kill you?"

"If you spend too much time in it, yeah. It's called melanoma."

"Huh..."

The two of you dragged your feet as you walked along the hallway of the staff quarters to Hapstablook's room, both hung over and in need of something greasy for breakfast, but it was late enough that you should check in with Papyrus before leaving the hotel.

"Okay, so no sunbathing." BB capitulated "What do _you_ want to do today?"

"Why don't we go check out that boardwalk we saw from the boat?" you suggested as you knocked on the ghosts door "We can get directions at the bike rental place."

"Papy won't be up for that." the skeleton knew.

It didn't seem he would be up for much, if the deep circles under his eyes were anything to go by. Papy looked positively haggard, slouching even more than usual as he opened the door to you.

"uh, hey, guys." he greeted "now's... not a great time..."

"Everything okay, Stretch?" you asked, before lowering your voice "You guys have a fight?"

"no no, nothing like that." he assured.

"Papyrus, who is it?!" Hapstablook barked so sharply it made the skeleton flinch, seconds before he appeared in the doorway himself.

If possible, Hapsta looked even worse than his boyfriend - he had clearly been crying, and the swoosh of ectoplasm he styled like hair was a complete mess.

"Oh, it's you two." he huffed, trying to pull himself together "I don't wish to be beastly, but I have had a positively AWFUL night! I'm not fit to be around people right now!"

"Is everything alright?" you repeated.

"Did something happen at your show?" BB guessed "Did you get a bad review?"

"Review?! REVIEW?!" Hapsta screech "A bad review I can handle! Sans, you should have HEARD what that awful person called me!!"

"it started with a 't' and ended with bigotry." Papy informed them.

Both of you winced, a few choice words coming to mind.

"I'm so sorry, Haps, that sounds awful!" BB sympathised.

"You didn't deserve that." you agreed.

"Thank you." the ghost sobbed "But still, I'm not leaving this room today! My mood is far too foul!"

"If that's what you want." you agreed "There's just one thing before we go."

"What's that?" Hapsta sniffed.

"You want us to beat them up?" you asked with a completely straight face.

"We'll do it." BB agreed, also perfectly po faced "Just point them out, we'll take care of it."

This had the desired effect, as Hapstablook burst out laughing. Even Papy had a little chuckle, putting a supportive hand on his boyfriends back.

"Oh, you two really are so sweet!" the ghost told them "But that wouldn't look good for the hotel, now, would it?"

With a brief goodbye, the two of you left to give them some space, both fuming quietly.

"Imagine saying something like to Happy!" BB scoffed "Some people!"

"It's probably for the best we weren't there last night." you agreed "We might actually have beat them up."

"Still might."

"Well, at least we don't have to worry about what Stretch wants to do today." you sighed as you pushed open the 'staff only' door to return to the lobby "Since we're renting bikes anyway, why don't we make a day of it? Go off roading?"

"Oooh, yeah, let's-"

"There you are!" a loud voice interrupted, startling the both of you.

A fussy looking woman in a sun dress marched up to you, but judging by the look on your face you had no idea who she was.

"How long were you going to make us wait?" she demanded, before calling you a name that was most definitely wrong "Your brother is already is in the room, we don't have a lot of time."

"Um?" you responded, hands in your pockets "I think you have me mistaken for someone else."

Now the woman looked confused, a matter only made worse when she spotted someone behind you.

"I don't fucking believe it..."

BB could hardly believe it either - stood behind you was someone who looked frighteningly like you. The differences weren't exactly subtle - their weight, the way they stood and their clothes were all different - but if BB met them in the dark, he might have thought they were you. You had frozen like a deer in the headlights, while your doppelganger looked just as confused as they were furious.

"What the fuck are _you_ doing here?!" they demanded.

"Reckless, who is this?" BB asked.

"One of my siblings." you told him quietly, not taking your eyes off them "And I'm here on holiday. What's it to you?"

The woman gasped theatrically, covering her mouth with her hands. 

"You're-!"

"Unbelievable." your sibling huffed, shoulder checking you as they stormed past "Just stay away from us, you aren't invited!"

"Nice seeing you too, Alex." you grumbled, but made no attempt to follow.

BB just looked between the two of you, having no idea what to do, before you stormed off to the exit. Your friend was on your heel before he could even wonder what the fuck that was.

* * *

There were lots of good places to bike around here, since the whole area was made up of high cliffs, heath land and pine woods. The two of you had checked out the boardwalk first, but you had been in a terrible mood the entire time. Sure, to the outside world you seemed just fine as you wondered around looking at the kitschy knickknacks and overpriced souvenirs, but BB knew you well enough to see just how badly that run in with your sibling had effected you. You were really letting it out now, racing over the hills and jumping tree roots like you were determined to sweat out your anger. Your friend could barely keep up, and while normally he'd enjoy a test of speed, he was too busy being worried about you right now...

The skeleton was startled when you suddenly stopped, looking over the cliffside.

"BB, check it out!" you yelled back at him "See that little beach there?"

Pulling up beside you, he spotted what you were talking about - down a long, steep metal staircase was a tiny stretch of perfect sand, part out in the sun and part under the arch of a cliff.

"Looks like the perfect place for our picnic." BB agreed.

It took another half an hour to get there, and you ended up carrying your bikes down the stairs, but get there you did. The little beach was even nicer up close, and it was clear people didn't come here often by how wild and pristine it was.

"I might just take a nap." BB joked as he collapsed onto the sand "That was exhausting!"

"Yeah." you agreed, but it was clear your heart just wasn't in it.

BB gave it time, waiting to see if you would tell him what the issue was by yourself.

Despite how long the two of you had been best friends, you never talked about your family. Considering that was the only thing you had kept quiet about, BB knew not to ask. It was easy enough to forget about it back home, but now... well, now it was all he could think about.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he finally asked, not able to stand it any more.

"No." you answered simply, your tone not leaving any room for argument.

"Okay, but will you tell me _why_ you don't want to talk about it?" he coerced.

You laughed a little, giving him that smile that said he was pushing his luck.

"They're the ones who rejected me." you told him simply "I've given them enough of my energy."

That only raised more questions, but BB held his tongue, not wanting to ruin your holiday by getting into an argument.

He couldn't imagine why anyone would reject you - from the moment the two of you had met, you'd been nothing short of everything to him. You understood him in a way no-one ever had, even his brother, you never used the 'c' word around him (that word being 'can't'), even though his small size and low HP made a lot of things difficult for him to do safely, and you were up for anything, even tandem scuba diving! You were so kind, and funny, and smart, who wouldn't love you?!

BB certainly did. He was pretty sure by now that you were his soulmate, it was the only way to explain how you fit together so perfectly from day one. In all areas but one, anyway - you didn't seem to be interested in sex at all, and BB definitely was. Not being able to love you as completely as possible might just break him, so it was better to just be friends.

That's what he told himself, anyway.

The two of you hung out on the beach for a few hours, making sandcastles and picking through the picnic you'd bought at the boardwalk.

"Is it just me, or have we not seen a single soul this entire time?" you noted after a while, eyes on the cliff above you.

"This place was kinda difficult to get to." BB agreed "People probably don't come here often."

A mischievous grin lit up your face, juvenile excitement in your eyes as you turned to him.

"Dude," you started.

"Yeah?" he replied, sensing incoming shenanigans.

"Let's go skinny dipping!"

"Oh my god, yes!"

And thus began the next race - to see who could strip their clothes off and jump in the water the fastest.

* * *

You drank too much that night. Way, way too much. Considering how much BB had seen you drink in the past, that was saying something. You drank so much that BB was compelled to _stop_ drinking, so that someone would be sober enough to take care of you when you inevitably got sick. When you started getting rowdy, the monster decided it was time to move the party back up to your room, leading you along with a packet of your favourite flavour chisps.

"Dude!" you declared once you were safely back in the locked hotel room "Dude, y'know what we should do tomorrow?!"

"What?"

"Jet ski paragliding!!"

"Oh heck yes!" BB agreed, kicking off his shoes "You want to watch a movie?"

"Sure." you shrugged, swaying on your feet "But lemme get comfy first."

For the second time today you started to strip, but by this point in your friendship BB didn't so much as blink - he'd seen you naked enough times to know pretty much every inch of your body, despite never having been lovers. That hadn't been the first time you had gone skinny dipping, and it probably wouldn't be the last. However, that didn't stop him from laughing when you stumbled in drunken co-ordination taking your trousers off, falling straight on your ass. To be fair, you were laughing too.

"Reckless, you're such a dope!" he joked before proceeding you help you up.

"Excuse you, I am a delight!" you feigned offence, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

Whether you meant to tackle him, or if you simply fell, it was impossible to know, but you were taller enough than the short skel that your added weight destabilised him, causing you both to fall back onto his bed. It was funny at first, both of you having a giggle, before BB's body reacted to you straddling his pelvis. Embarrassing. It took drunk you a moment to notice, and even then it might just have been his bright blue skull that tipped you off.

"Don't be embarrassed, B." you teased "S'perfectly natural."

"E-even so." he said, looking away from you "Maybe move?"

That was when you did something you had never done before.

You kissed him.

He was so shocked that at first he didn't react. That didn't last long, though, as within seconds your first kiss became passionate making out. Unfortunately, that also didn't last, as the sober side of BB's brain kicked in.

With greater reluctance than he had ever done anything, he gently pushed you away. His soul screamed at him not to, that this was a good thing and he should let it happen, but seeing exactly how glassy your eyes were told him that this was the right thing to do. Drunk you seemed to disagree, going in for the kiss again. The little skeleton was stronger than he looked, though, and with a sudden flip your positions were reversed. You seemed surprised to find your back on the bed, but just snorted out a laugh, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. BB, for his part, just grabbed the blanket and started to cover you up.

"You need to sleep it off, Reckless." he told you.

"Wha's the matter?" you slurred "Ya don't wanna?"

"I want to." he confessed "You have no idea how much I want to... but as your best friend, it's my job to stop you doing something drunk that you'd regret sober."

"Sans..." you whined, and the sound nearly broke him, but he had made up his mind.

He gave you a chaste kiss on the cheek, climbed off the bed, and locked himself in the bathroom to have the coldest shower of his life.

* * *

BB wasn't sure what woke him up. It was still dark, but he could clearly smell the crisp brine of the ocean, and something about it helped rouse him faster than usual. Why the balcony door open? And for the matter, where were you? Stumbling out of his comfy bed (well, technically it was your bed, since you had been sleeping in his), he yawned widely as he plodded over to the balcony. That was where he found you - you had tied the blankets of his bed firmly to the bars of the balcony to create a hammock, and were looking out over the ocean in quiet contemplation. Thankfully, you had put on some pyjamas, so BB didn't hesitate to grab the blankets from the other bed, climb into the hammock with you, and cover you both over. You put your arm around him as he snuggled up to get comfy.

"Sorry for overdoing it tonight." you said eventually "Guess I'm not as past it as I thought."

"I know you didn't want to talk before," he replied "But the offer's still there, y'know?"

You took a deep breath, sighing it out slowly as you rubbed his arm with your thumb.

"I... am the youngest of seven." you said, the words sounding difficult on your tongue "I've spent years wondering what was wrong with me, that my family rejected me so entirely. I couldn't sit still like my siblings could, I couldn't stay clean... for the longest time I thought I was stupid because I couldn't _read_-"

"But you know why that is." BB interrupted "It's just the dyslexia."

"I know that now." you confirmed "All my siblings were home schooled, but my parents got sick of me not sitting still and learning so sent me to public school. It was the best thing they ever did for me... Looking back... looking back, I was just a normal kid. I wanted to play, and run around, and climb trees, and... I don't know what it was they wanted, but I was never enough. After I learned how to deal with my dyslexia, I won a school award for most improved reading... I thought they'd be proud... it just went in the bin. I won sports trophies, I got ribbons, my teachers signed me up for all sorts of clubs to try and do something with all my energy. It all just went in the bin."

When you took another deep breath, BB gave you an encouraging squeeze. BB knew how it felt to have a parent completely dismiss you, thanks to his own piss poor excuse for a father, but he at least had Papy to encourage him. He still remembered being eight years old, proudly presenting his perfect test score to a delighted older brother, who gushed about how proud he was even as he was surrounded by piles of text books higher than BB had been tall. He couldn't even imagine if, in the formative moment, his brother had completely dismissed him out of hand and thrown his prized test away instead of pinning it to the fridge.

He hated the thought of you going through that kind of rejection.

"When I was in secondary school, my teachers strongly convinced me to go to university. They said I could really make something of myself, that I had the talent... My mother told me that if I went, I wouldn't be welcome to come back."

"But I thought they wanted you to learn?!" BB exclaimed.

"Don't go looking for their logic, you won't find it." you knew from bitter experience "My siblings... they all got married the second they left school and started pumping out kids. My final year, I still hadn't had a relationship, even though I had all these friends. They thought there was something wrong with me... I mean, fuck, their priest had to talk them _out_ of putting me through conversion therapy!"

"There's nothing wrong with you." BB knew.

"I even tried having sex." you confessed "Just to see if it would... I don't know, 'fix' me? Ignite whatever spark everyone else seemed to have? It just made me feel worse. When I turned eighteen I left that house and never looked back."

"Did they ever try to get in touch?" BB asked carefully.

"When I graduated my bachelors, my sister Beth came to see me." you told him "She asked me if I was done with my rebellious phase yet, so I could come home and 'do the right thing'... that was the last time I spoke to any of them."

Your voice was calm, steady, but BB could feel the sadness that radiated from you. Just as he was formulating something comforting to say, his mind helpfully threw up something you had told him a long time ago.

"Your cancer," he remembered "Wasn't that after your masters degree?"

"Yeah."

"Did... did you tell them?"

"... Yeah..."

You didn't need to go on. BB felt anger and disgust rise up in him like a tsunami, knowing they had left you to suffer that alone. He was sick so often that he struggled to keep a job, but Papy never turned his back on him - heck, he worked several jobs just to support him! He couldn't even find the words to describe what a betrayal just the idea was to him.

So he did the only thing he could think of and squeezed you tighter, nuzzling his face into your shoulder. Finally, you smiled, but it was sombre and bittersweet.

"I'm sorry." you said.

"For what?" he asked. 

"Not being able to show you exactly how much I love you." you told him awkwardly "As much as I accept who I am, a part of me wishes I could change. That I could... ignite that spark, just for you."

To this, BB knew exactly what to say.

"You do show me." he assured "You remember that time we went white water rafting?"

"How could I forget?" you scoffed "You nearly died!"

"No I didn't." he chuckled "Because you were there. Your arm still pops where it broke, but I walked away without a scratch."

The very same arm that was currently wrapped around him, in fact. Even with a helmet, padding and a life jacket, a skeleton was still a vulnerable thing, and broken bones meant something very different to them. When you took that turn too sharply on the swollen river and lost control of the boat, heading straight for that rock, BB saw his life flash before his eyes. Your arm had broken in three places when you used it to block his fragile skull from the unrelenting stone.

"I nearly died when Stretch found out." you chuckled "I didn't think he would let you outside ever again!"

"He knew I was safe with you." BB assured, running his fingers over the scars "I'm always safe with you."

It was his turn to sigh, snuggling up again. The air coming off the ocean was cold, the cloudless sky doing nothing to keep the heat down.

"I wish I could turn it off." he said "I wish I didn't need it, so there'd be nothing standing between us."

You let out a humourless chuckle.

"We're quite the pair, aren't we?" you supposed.

"Yeah," BB agreed "And I wouldn't change it for the world."

* * *

"You ready?" you called from the jet ski.

"Hell yeah!" BB yelled back, sat in the cradle of the parasail as he bobbed in the water "Let's fucking GO!" 

"Let's fucking GO!" you repeated, revving the engine before taking off along the surf.

A blink later, BB was in the sky. The golden beach of the resort snaked around the land as far as the eye could see, the ocean melting in with the sky in the other direction. He could just see his brother bleaching his bones on the beach below, Hapstablook floating beside him reading a book. The wind flowing over his bones blew away the last of his fatigue, the bright warm sun so close he could almost touch it. The beach was packed with families and friend groups, sun bathing and playing volleyball, or frolicking in the waves.

Like all good thing, though, his ride ended far too soon, and he was back on the sand eating ice cream was you went to return the jet ski to the rental place.

"bro, this is gonna sound weird." Papy told him as he sat up on his towel "but i swear i've seen like five different reckless since being here. recklesses... recklessii?"

BB snorted a laugh, Hapsta tittering before turning his page.

"Yeah, it turns out some of Reckless' family is staying here too." he confessed "But they're kind of bastards, so don't bring it up."

"say no more." Papy agreed, taking a big swig from his water before plopping back down to bake.

When you finally came back, you bought a portion of barbecued fish and a bottle of hot sauce. Papy nearly vomited just from the smell, refusing a taste as the two of you tucked in.

"Hey, you know what we should do tonight?" BB suggested, to which you raised an eyebrow "We should camp out! Remember that little beach we found?"

"Oh hell yes!" you agreed "We can have a barbecue and sleep under the stars!"

Papyrus just groaned.

"We can sleep on the boat, darling." Hapstablook assured "Since I don't have to work tonight."

"Score!"

"We have a plan!"

"huzzah."

* * *

You needed provisions if you were going to camp out, so you and BB made a trip into town to pick up supplies. Meat to grill, drinks to sup, y'know, essentials.

"I don't know if I want to drink tonight." you confessed "I've really overdone it this week."

"Probably for the best." the skeleton agreed "Let's pound bottled water and soda instead of brewski's. Definitely need chisps, though."

"Definitely."

Your phone went off. You had a chuckle when you read the message.

"Stretch needs some... essentials." you insinuated "And we might need a bluetooth speaker for our music, if you catch my drift."

"I'd rather not picture my brother having sex, thanks." BB grimaced.

"Let me run to the pharmacy aisle. I'll be back."

"'Kay."

As you wondered off, BB considered the wall of snacks in front of him. On the one hand, cheese and onion was always a winner, but on the other they had marmite flavour, and he really wanted to gross his brother out some more. To troll or not to troll?

"Wow, that really is-"

"What are they even doing here?"

"You don't think they came for the wedding?"

BB looked around at the hushed voices. Three teenage girls, all of which bore a strong resemblance to you, huddled a few feet away, talking behind their hands.

"Look at all those tattoos!"

"I think they're kinda cool."

"Oh my god, do not let your dad hear you say that!"

"I heard they used to dye their hair too."

"No way!"

The skeleton nearly scoffed - were there really still people who considered hair dye controversial? And he liked your tattoos - if he had skin, he'd be covered in them too!

Despite their youthful appearances, the girls weren't dressed like teenagers - their clothes were grey and beige, perfectly ironed, and were they wearing loafers? To the beach? Repressed, that was the word he was looking for. No wonder they thought you were so unusual, in your bright vest and shorts.

"You think it's true that they're... y'know..."

"I don't know, they might be. How can you tell just by looking?"

"That they're what?" BB found himself barking, loud enough that it made the girls jump.

"Oh, um, that's..."

"We didn't mean anything by it!"

"Oh, I'm sure." he grumbled.

"This is a family matter, sir." one of them managed to say sternly "Please mind your own business."

The girls all blanched as someone behind him snorted. You had returned, throwing the things Stretch asked you for into the trolley.

"You sound just like your mother." you told the girl who had attempted to tell him off "You must be Evelyn." 

"You know me?" she gasped.

"I remember you." you corrected "You were four, maybe five when I left home."

Evelyn looked flabbergasted, as if she couldn't conceive of such a thing. The other girls whispered to each other none too subtly.

"Are you... here for the wedding?" she asked.

"Wedding? Who's getting married?" you asked casually.

"I am."

"What the fuck, you're like twelve?!" BB gasped before he could stop himself, your laughter the only thing stopping the situation getting awkward.

"No, I'm here with my own family." you told her, not seeming the least bit surprised "Pure coincidence. Congratulations, though."

You turned to leave, putting your arm around BB's shoulders.

"U-Um!" Evelyn suddenly said, getting your attention "They! They miss you... you know?"

Your face was hard to read, even for BB. Blank, guarded.

"You're a sweet girl." you told her "And a terrible liar. You can't miss someone you never knew."

You left it there, herding BB along the aisle. You were quiet for the rest of the trip around the supermarket, but at least your friend was better able to understand your upset this time. It seemed the drama wasn't over, however, as Evelyn caught up to you as you were leaving.

"I would like you to come to the wedding!" she abruptly announced "It's at 1pm tomorrow at the hotel."

"You're asking for trouble with that." you warned her.

"It's my wedding, I can ask for whatever I want!" she reasoned "I have to go, but... please consider it!"

With that, she ran off to join the other girls, who were loading their purchases into the back of a waiting taxi.

* * *

The thing BB loved most about camping was looking at the stars. The further away from town they were, the more stars he was able to see, and this little beach was so far from everything that he could even pick out Mars from its colour alone. Papy and Hapstablook had retired to the boat, which was anchored a little way out to see, leaving you and BB to look at the stars beside the dying fire. You looked like you were thinking deeply, but he could guess you had a lot going on in that head of yours.

"You okay over there?" he asked.

"Mostly." you replied "There is one thing that's bothering me, though."

"What's that?"

You looked at him completely seriously, still looking bothered as you asked him.

"How the hell do you have sex with a ghost?"

BB had no choice but to burst out laughing.

"I'm serious!" you swore, even as your face broke into a grin "They're literally incorporeal! What goes where?!" 

BB laughed until he couldn't breathe, snorting like a pig as you tried and failed to put a straight face back on.

"Oh my god, I hate you!" he cried "You're the worst!"

"I'm the best." you corrected.

Without warning, you were both assailed by water from above, causing you to shriek and flail.

"you're ruining the mood." Papy told them, dropping the bucket he held to the sand even as he smirked "keep it down, will ya?"

With is final word, he shortcut away, leaving you both to laugh and shush each other like misbehaving children under the endless sky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that ended up longer than I thought. Feedback suggests that you guys aren't as interested in BB and Reckless as you are in some other pairings, but there are at least a few of you who like them. 
> 
> Should Reckless go to their nieces wedding? It would only end in drama if they did...


	15. What if the Horror Brothers were the Antagonists?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or Love? The Horror!
> 
> NSFW/TRIGGER WARNING: violence of the visceral and sexual nature (monster variety, but the implications are clear).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it took me so long to think of this...
> 
> So I've always preferred to think of the horror universe the way I wrote it originally - basically good people putting their lives back together after clawing their way through hell...
> 
> BUT WHAT IF?!

"And I had to hear about this from Freddy of all people?!" you continued to rant as you put the copious amounts of canned goods away "Fucking _Freddy_?!"

"It's not that bad." your father attempted to justify.

"Your fucking leg is broken!" you pointed out "And you couldn't pick up the fucking phone to tell your only child you had an accident?! You're not a young man any more!"

Your father looked suitably admonished, cast-covered leg up on the coffee table, his cat Bojangles curled up on his lap. You'd been lecturing him since you got here, using your recently gained driving license to bring him more food than his bunker had ever seen before.

"I didn't want to worry you." he said.

"Too fucking bad!" you swore "I wouldn't have been worried if you told me yourself, but you keeping it from me makes me wonder what the fuck else is going on!"

"I'm sorry, pumpkin."

"You should be!"

Finally, the last of the canned goods was stowed away. Even a large man like your father should now have enough food in the house to last him until his leg was healed.

Accidents were bound to happen - you'd broken a few bones yourself on this mountain, back when you were a kid - but him not telling you about it really rose your hackles. The stubborn bastard wouldn't break into the stocks of emergency food in his fallout shelter, but he was in no state to traipse around the woods with his leg bound up. Was he just going to sit here and starve?! If even an agoraphobic bastard like Freddy saw fit to track you down and tell you, you knew the break had to be a lot worse than he was letting on.

"At least tell me you went to the hospital!" you demanded.

"I saw Dr. Price-"

"Dr. Price is not a real doctor!"

"Hey hey, a disgraced doctor is still a doctor."

"Oh my god, you're going to fucking die up here!"

You marched over to him and grabbed your bag, fishing out your notebook and a pen.

"Pumpkin, I love that you're so worried about me." your father said, voice rich with earnesty "And I love that you rode in here on a white horse to take care of your old man, but I'm hardly on deaths door. You don't need to worry so much."

"What choice do I have when you're keeping secrets from me?" you retorted, heading to the bathroom to make a list of what medicines and toiletries he needed "Is you freezer working?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to cook you a bunch of meals and freeze them." you told him "With actual vegetables. You eat way too much red meat for a man your age."

Your father chuckled fondly. When you re-entered the main room, you found him stroking Bojangles with a far off look in his eyes.

"I was so worried that you hated me." he admitted "You left home so suddenly..."

"I never hated you, dad." you sighed "I'm just following my own path."

When he looked back up at you, his eyes were filled with love and pride. You knew he considered you his greatest achievement, even when you bought him grief, and you going your own way was just proof that he had raised you right - strong, independent, and just as stubborn as he was.

"Anything you want?" you asked him "And before you ask, I already know what you _need_."

"A couple of blankets?" he asked "One for me, one for Bojangles?"

You had to laugh at that, giving the maine coon a scratch behind his fluffy tabby ears.

"Okay." you sighed "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

* * *

It took a long time to get down the mountain. There was no road here, and had you not grown up in this mess you wouldn't have known the best way to drive up, the 4x4 you rented still parked a quarter mile away from your fathers house. It took three hours of very careful driving to get back to the closest proper road, and another two to get to the closest supermarket. It would be dark by the time you were done shopping, so heading back up the mountain would be even more dangerous that usual - you'd sleep in the car and head off at first light.

This bullshit was the reason you didn't visit your dad often. It took you a day from where you lived just to get to the damn mountain, never mind getting to the house!

After hours of driving, you were happy to stretch out and wonder around the supermarket, picking up what your father needed and adding a few nice things for the house. You'd worry about the cost later, when you were done being worried about the irresponsible bastard. Your phone rang, your best friends number flashing up on the screen.

"What now, Edge?" you grumbled as you answered it.

"Cheese maggots?!" he cried in response.

You barked out a laugh at such an unexpected phrase, covering your mouth self-consciously as the giggles took over.

"Wh-what are you looking up now?" you asked.

"Sans said he saw it on TV!" the skeleton went on, sounding scandalised and disgusted "There's this cheese humans don't eat until it's full of maggots, and then they eat the maggots too?!?! Maggot cheese poop?!?!?!?!?!"

"It's called casu marzu." you told him "It's actually illegal in most places."

"You're fucking with me!!!" he nearly screamed, and you could hear the deep baritone laugh of his brother in the background "First oysters, now this?! Humans really will eat anything!"

"You should look up bird nest soup." you teased.

"I don't want to!"

You talked a while longer as you looked around the shop. Your friend and co-worker was studying at culinary school, but somehow it never ceased to amaze him the scope of what disgusting things humans considered food.

His disbelief was just a cover reason for his phone call, though. He was a worrier with a capital 'w', and every time you left home for longer than it took to go to work, you'd get a call from him. What the hell was he going to be like when you went to college? You'd have to call him more than your foster parents, just to stop him driving all the way over to make sure you weren't dead.

You were so wrapped up in your phone call that you didn't notice the way the aisles around you emptied, everyone with eyes and a brain avoiding the area. You paid no mind to the only other person you could see - a hulking bear of a skeleton, with broad shoulders and fingers as wide as your whole hand - especially since the skeletons you already knew were Fells, and thus on the large side themselves. Instead, you picked up a few packets of rice and some spices, throwing them in the trolley.

"He'll be fine, thankfully." you told your friend "I'm going to make him a few freezer meals tomorrow, make sure he doesn't just eat out of the cans... don't take that tone, I've seen your brother do that."

As you reached for the last packet of saffron, your hand bumped against another. That was when you took note of the other shopper - unlike your friends, whose eye lights twinkled in their dark sockets, this skeletons one eye was just a disk, large and bright red, sat beneath a nasty looking hole in the top of his skull. He was reaching for the saffron too, the two of you at a stalemate. His face was impossible to read, blank as a mask, his one eye oddly intense in a thousand-yard stare kind of way.

You just smiled at him, gesturing for him to take the saffron.

"I can make something else." you assured "You go ahead... No, I wasn't talking to you, Edge, I'm in the supermarket."

And thus, you continued on without a thought. You saw the skeleton a few more times as you walked around, but that wasn't unusual for the supermarket, so you thought nothing of it. By the time you got to the checkouts, you were finally off the phone. This time of the evening, the 9-5 workers were getting their shopping in, so the lines were long and full of frustrated commuters. While you didn't exactly have anywhere to be, you still didn't want to wait behind some Karen or other, so muddled along to find the shortest line.

Then you found a checkout with no line at all. The monster than staffed it was enormous, by far the largest you had ever seen. Another skeleton, with tiny round eyes on his long skull, his teeth jagged and broken in a way that was painful to even look at. Every breath in was a gasping wheeze as he sat patiently, folded up like a mantis in the too-small seat, waiting for a customer. Even through his uniform, you could see the deformation of his ribs, see the way they clicked back into place with every exhale.

No line, though. Score.

"Are you open?" you made sure, just in case there was a reason no-one was lined up here.

It took the cashier a moment to respond, like he'd been away with the fairies. He looked around a moment before looking down at you.

"A... customer?" he asked quietly, almost to himself.

"Are you open?" you repeated calmly.

"Yes!" he replied to suddenly it made you jump "Open and ready to serve! Please step forward!"

He patted the conveyor belt. His hands reminded you of the Other Mother from Coraline, his fingers long and thin, but you weren't one to judge by appearances.

"I've never seen you here before." he noted "Camping in the mountains?"

"Nah, ex-local." you told him as you loaded the belt "I'm visiting my father."

"How nice! Are you staying long? Not many humans wait in my line."

"Just a few days. Need to get back to work by Tuesday."

You continued to chat pleasantly as he checked you out. He leaned very close to the screen, examining each item carefully for the barcode, so you guessed those little eyes weren't very good.

"He's not making you cook while you're visiting, is he?" he asked.

"No, I'm doing it of my own volition." you confessed as you packed "He'd live off canned stew if I let him, and as a chef I take it as a personal insult."

"A chef, huh?" the skeleton wondered "I thought you smelled good."

You didn't think too much about what he said - his tone wasn't at all flirty, and people had said that to you before, especially when they were hungry. You paid the bill, bidding him goodbye as you left.

* * *

You ate dinner in a little diner you had known as a kid. The food wasn't great, but it was better than whatever cold stodge you could get at the petrol station. As you were paying, you noticed the wall behind the counter - it was covered in 'missing' posters, some starting to yellow from how they had been there. Most, especially the old ones, were for pets, while a disturbing amount were children and hikers.

"Something I ought to know?" you asked the waitress, gesturing to the wall. 

"There's some dangerous animals in these woods." she shrugged "Bears, snakes. You're local, right?"

"Born and raised."

"Then you know how out-of-towners are." she pointed out, local accent getting a little thicker "Think because they have the boots that they know how to hike. Don't keep their cats inside, or their dogs on a lead."

"And the children?"

To that, the monster softened.

"I prefer to think they ran away." she admitted.

That would be an awful lot of runaways for this area, but you let her think what she wanted.

Back in the car, you set yourself up on the back seat, locking the doors and covering the windows with coats and blankets to give yourself some privacy. Even in this countryside carpark, so out of the way that it wasn't even paved, there was still a chance of someone coming along and looking in. It was still better than that overpriced hostel in town, though. You got comfy in your pillows and blankets and pulled up your laptop to watch a movie.

Hours later, you were teetering on the edge of sleep when you realised you needed the toilet. With a deep, tired sigh, you put your laptop down and struggled out of your cocoon to go find a bush. Once your business was concluded, you stumbled back to the car, yawning widely.

Only to stop. Someone was stood by your car, holding the door open and looking inside, at where you had just been dozing. It was close to two in the morning, who the fuck was walking around this time of night? Whoever this guy was, he was big and square, and you had left your cosh in the car when you went to pee. _Rookie mistake_, you hissed to yourself. There was nothing in the car worth taking on someone who might be dangerous, so you did the sensible thing, backing silently into the shadows against a tree, and watched.

The guy rifled through your blankets. Was he looking for cash? No, he was sniffing them. What the fuck? Was he on drugs? There was a lot of that around here. He seemed to be enjoying the smell, though, almost huffing it. Creepy fuck.

A branch snapped, making you both freeze. That sure as hell hadn't been you. The figure looked around, and you immediately recognised the still red eyelight, shining clearly in the dark night. At least you had the 'who'.

"bro?" the skeleton called into the darkness.

You backed further against the tree. There was another snap beside you.

Pain bloomed in your head like a firework, your vision going black as you lost consciousness.

* * *

You woke up slowly. The pain in your skull let you know you'd been hit on the head, and it was taking your poor brain a moment to unrattle itself.

Your hands were tied. No, _chained_, you could feel the weight and smooth finish of the metal on your skin. Your ankles too. 

You listened carefully, ears tuning in to anything possible to pick up where you were. The rustle of trees in the wind. A night bird. The buzz of an old halogen bulb. Smells came next - rot and copper, damp and pine. You were inside, but the building was still in the woods. It either had windows, or holes in the walls, to allow so much smell and sound in.

Even through the pain in your head, you tuned into the sixth sense all humans intrinsically had, and felt for any other presences in the room. It took a moment, but you could safely say you were alone.

Finally, you opened your eyes. The white light of early morning poured through the window, illuminating the interior of the shed. The floor was concrete, the walls wood, the shackles on your wrists and ankles attached to the floor by long chains. The rusty bars of the cage kept you isolated from the rest of the shed, and when you got a good look at it, you were happy they were there.

Piled up on the other side of the room were bones. Some were animal bones, but most were human, the skulls and hips unmistakable. You could tell from the nicks and scrapes that covered them that they'd been butchered, stripped of their meat before being discarded. There was a long wooden table, dark stains covering it and the floor around it, and a long rack of butchers knives, so sharp you could cut yourself just by looking at them.

Cannibals. What was it about this mountain that attracted lunatics?

There was a dull, thudding rustle, and you knew someone was coming in, fiddling with a padlock on the door. You went limp, feigning unconsciousness, and waited.

The door opened, the old hinges squeaking horribly. Heavy footsteps lumbered in, stopping in front of the bars. There was a dull clack as bones met the metal of the bars.

"... i think you hit them too hard."

The next footsteps were almost silent, you wouldn't have heard them at all if you hadn't been listening so intently.

"Hmm... well, they aren't bleeding, and they still have their soul, so they're alive. I guess we just wait?"

That voice, you knew. The cashier from the supermarket. How did someone so massive move so silently?

"they smell so good." the other skeleton said, almost lustfully "i don't know if i can wait..."

"Patience, brother." the cashier urged "We're going to have a feast tonight!"

"i'm hungry..."

"Well, let's go have breakfast. We have eggs, ham... I think there's a few bagels left?"

There was a shuffling, and you heard the door close, padlock put back in place. You waited just long enough to be sure they weren't coming back before you sat up, taking a good look at your bonds. Cast iron, screw locks. These guys were professionals. Unfortunately for them, so were you. Screw locks were a bitch to get open without the key, and it took you a good forty five minutes to slowly unwind the shackles on your feet. You could do your hands later, when you were in a safe place.

Next were the bars. They were far too close together for you to squeeze through, and oddly there didn't seem to be a door. How did they get you in here? You didn't have time to fuck around with that, instead reaching through the bars as far as you could and grabbing the cleaver your captors had left on the butchering table. This place was messy, but this was the only metal object in reach, so it would have to do. The walls of the shed were a flimsy wood, and you wasted no time hacking out a hole big enough for you to squeeze through. 

You paused only long enough to orient yourself to the house, making sure the skeletons couldn't see you, and bolted into the woods, holding your chains and cleaver close to you to minimise the noise.

These were your fucking mountains, you'd find something you recognised before long, so you just picked a direction and ran. The woods here were old, the trees gnarled and twisting, the ground almost swampy. There was no sign of civilisation, but that was nothing new, so you kept going, leaping over roots and ducking branches, turning in random directions to throw off your tail. Finally, when you couldn't run any more, you found a large oak tree that had been felled in a storm, its roots having torn up the ground all around it, creating a hollow in the dirt. That was where you hid, taking time to catch your breath and listen.

No footsteps, no voices. If they knew you had gone, they didn't know where.

Okay, now to free your hands. You were sure you didn't have time to fiddle with the locks again, so went for the fast option, dislocating the thumb of your dominant hand and squeezing it though the unforgiving iron hoop. It hurt like a _bitch_, but you controlled your breathing, mastering your reaction to the pain. You clenched your teeth and hissed in a breath as you popped the bones back in their socket and mentally prepared yourself to do your other hand.

"wow, you're _good_." 

You spun around - the red-eyed skeleton was just stood there, casual as you like, leaning against the tree roots watching you. How the fuck had he snuck up on you?! How had you not heard him?!

"i ain't even mad, that's impressive." he complimented "no wonder you got away so quick."

Fight or flight kicked in, and you grabbed up the cleaver to defend yourself.

Only to find yourself back on your knees in an instant. The entire world swayed as gravity increased on you, trying to force you down further, but you refused. Fucking blue magic! The skeleton hadn't even moved, giving you a coy grin.

"aw, babycakes, i like you already." he told you.

You only had one chance to get out of this. You had to be smart. You let the cleaver go, just that action hurting so much against his magic.

"smart." he complimented, finally moving away from the tree "let's go back. pap's needs to go to work soon."

Fucking rookie. You waited for him to get closer, to get in range, and summoned all your energy. You had one chance.

The second he got close enough, you swung your still shackled arm around as hard as possible, the iron flying dangerously through the air. His reactions were quick enough that he avoided another nice hole in his skull, but his grip on his magic slipped enough for you to jump up and bolt. The bastard was quicker than he looked, though, tackling you within ten feet and forcing you back to the ground. You struggled, writhing in his grip, but he was heavy, and _fucking strong_, and your efforts only seemed to amuse him.

"i really, _really_ like you." he breathed, right next to your ear, taking a good long sniff of your hair.

"Brother?" the cashiers voice called through the forest.

"over here, bro."

The brute held you firmly as he got up, holding you still long enough to tie up your wrists with a rag from his pocket. When he realised that you would absolutely fucking kick him, he held your legs firmly and threw you over his shoulder, deep chuckles rocking his whole body.

"we got a real firecracker here." he said "tried to kill me twice already."

"Wonderful!" the cashier answered "I love firecrackers! We'll have to put them in the house, though."

"'k."

Your stomach lurched as magic surrounded you. Just like that, you were back at the house, looking at the outside of the shed you had broken out of. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

You looked around as best you could as your captor walked the rest of the way to their house. Your rented 4x4 was already stripped down, wheels and engine removed, doors half way off. The tracking unit sat in a bucket of water. Smart boys. There was no other car - next time you got out, you'd be walking. As you entered the house, you were unceremoniously rolled off the brutes shoulder, landing heavily on an old sofa.

"Sans, be gentle!" the cashier scolded.

"sorry, bro." the brute replied.

The cashier just tutted, grabbing your legs and swinging you around into a more comfortable position before kneeling down in front of you.

"I know you must have a lot of questions." he told you, in a master class in understatement "But I have to go to work, so we'll make it quick."

He gave your legs a quick pull, bringing your ass right to the edge of the seat. He, too, took a good, long sniff, pressing his face right against the nape of your neck. You clenched your teeth - you weren't going to give them the satisfaction of a reaction.

"The famine is over." he eventually went on "We have all the food we could ever want now, but..."

"it ain't enough." the brute took over "we're still _hungry_."

"We've tried everything to sate our hunger. So much food, so many recipes." the cashier sighed "Something in our souls... the hunger won't stop."

"you smell so good."

"You smell _so good_..." the brothers agreed "I don't know if it's you, or something you can cook. You said you're a chef?"

You still grit your teeth, even as the giant gave you what you thought was a smile.

"So here's the deal." he told you "Cook us something that will sate our hunger. Cook us every single thing you know how to cook. If that doesn't work, we'll know it's _you_ we want to eat. Deal?" 

"I don't see how that's a deal." you pointed out.

"it's a deal because we don't eat you right away." the brute said.

"There's every ingredient you could ever want in the kitchen." the cashier said "Make us something that will fill us up, and we'll let you go."

That was a lie. If they intended to let you go, they wouldn't have gone to such extremes to catch you. However, it would give you time to plan your escape.

"I can't make everything I know in one day." you told him, buying yourself as much time as possible.

"One week should be enough." he supposed "I'll buy more ingredients after work."

The cashier seemed to realise something then, knocking his knuckles against his skull.

"Silly me!" he chuckled "I forgot to introduce myself! People call me Crooks, for obvious reasons, and this is my brother, Axe."

The brute grinned at you, giving you a wink. You opened your mouth to provide them with a fake name to call you, only for Crooks to chuckle.

"I don't care." he told you, tone light and friendly despite his words "One week from now, you'll just be meat."

The skeleton got to his feet, brushed himself off, and bid his brother goodbye before leaving to start his shift at the supermarket.

* * *

Crooks hadn't been kidding - his kitchen was better stocked than the one you worked in, and had all the latest gadgets. There were a few cookbooks lying about, annotated to death and pulled apart in frustration, none of them containing whatever secret recipe the brothers thought would fulfil them. They were both fucking nuts, that was clear. Whatever this famine was had clearly messed with their heads, making them lose their grip on reality. 

Axe sat himself at the kitchen table, watching you the entire time. He never even blinked, eye fixed on you as you worked. He was so silent, so still, it was fucking creepy. No blinking, no moving... if not for his asking what you were making every now and then, you would swear he was a statue. No chance to poison the food with him watching, but at least he didn't mind you sampling as you cooked - it might be your only chance to eat.

The guy was built like a brick shithouse, but if what happened before was any indication, he had the same kind of shortcut power that your neighbour did. He wasn't very quick, though, mentally or physically, so there was a good chance you could outmanoeuvre him, if you could just get out of his eye line.

"you got a nice voice." Axe told you late in the afternoon, apropos of nothing.

"Did I say something?" you asked him.

"you were singing." he pointed out "you didn't know?"

"Habit, I guess. Does it bother you?"

"nah, it's nice."

Damn. You'd sing louder if it bothered him. Instead, you made the effort to not sing, even as you suffocated in the oppressive silence.

By the time Crooks returned, there was indeed a feast prepared, causing him to gasp in delight before going to set the table. You didn't expect to be invited to sit and eat with them, but the giant was insistent, hand on your shoulders as he steered you to the table.

They ate everything. EVERYTHING. You'd seen parties of twenty not eat as much as these two got through that night. You were sure the only thing that stopped them eating the plates and cutlery was the idea of replacing them every day.

"you aren't eating more?" Axe noted after a while.

"I'm full." you admitted.

"must be nice..."

Once the meal was finished, Crooks carefully patted a serviette against his janky teeth, Axe licking every last molecule of cream cake from his plate.

"I have to say, this was all very nice!" he complimented "You're quite the chef!"

"Thank you." you accepted, even as you heard the 'but' hanging in the air.

"But," he sure enough went on "Not what we're looking for. You have more recipes?"

"Of course."

"Then I guess you live another day. Huzzah! Let's watch some TV."

Unhinged fucking...

"The dishes need washing." you pointed out, standing up and grabbing the few that were left "I won't want to do them in the morning."

"No, no, did you forget you were the hostage?" Crooks reminded you as he got up "_I'll_ do the dishes! You've been on your feet all day!"

The skeleton literally shooed you out the room. There went your chance of going out the kitchen window while the TV was on. Axe followed you like a shadow, your attempts to avoid him curtailed when he literally pulled you into his lap, locking his arms around you like a boney cage. And now he was sniffing you again, taking deep breaths as he buried his face in your hair. Fucking weirdo.

"I don't hear the TV!" Crooks called from the kitchen, making his brother flinch.

Axe looked very confused a moment, looking all around.

"paps, where are you?" he called.

Where was he? He had literally just seen him, not even two minutes ago, how did he not know where he was?

"I'm doing the dishes!" Crooks called back "Please put the TV on!"

"'k."

Axe grabbed the remote and put the TV on, holding you like a damn teddy bear as he stared blankly at the screen. 

You kept your eye on him. More specifically, on his disk of an eye. Not a single blink, a single waver.

He had a hole in his head. Could monsters suffer the same kind of brain injuries as humans, even ones that didn't technically have the organ? Crooks hadn't even thought his brother might do the dishes, despite the fact Axe hadn't gone out to work like he had. And if he had memory issues too...

Experiment time.

"Wait, what did he just say?" you asked, gesturing to the TV "I wasn't paying attention."

One, two, three, four-

"what?" Axe responded, looking down like he forgot you were even there.

"The guy on TV." you repeated "What did he say?"

The red eye shrunk. Axe looked at the TV, then back at you, then to the other end of the sofa, like he expected someone to be there.

"paps?" he called into the house.

"I'm doing the dishes!" Crooks repeated, tone exactly the same as before "Everything okay?"

Axe looked back at you, back at the TV. He looked confused as you gave nothing away, waiting for him to come up with something.

"... yes?"

"You don't sound sure." Crooks told him.

"... no?"

Seconds later, Crooks appeared in the doorway, drying a dish. It took him moments to appraise the room, narrowing his eyes at you.

"Whatever you're doing, stop." he warned you.

"I just asked him what that guy said." you told him honestly.

When he disappeared back into the kitchen, you thought he accepted your explanation. However, he soon reappeared, sans dish, and stood in front of his brother.

"Give me that." he ordered him.

"give you what?" he replied.

"The human."

"what human?"

Wow, seriously?

Crooks didn't even seem surprised, just reaching down and grabbing your arm. Axe even let out an 'oh!' of realisation as you were pulled out of his lap, like he had genuinely forgotten you were there.

You were going to gaslight the fuck out of him tomorrow.

Crooks didn't look at you as he dragged you up the stairs and into one of the rooms.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing." he warned you "Needling my brother, looking for his weaknesses. You aren't the first human to try and take advantage of him!"

The skeleton slammed open the door to his closet and threw you in, smacking it closed behind you. Luckily there was enough room for you to stand, the clothes soft and numerous. It sounded like he was fiddling with something, probably some kind of barricade to keep the door closed. In response, you knocked calmly on the wood. 

"Unless you want me to piss on your clothes, I recommend you let me use the bathroom." you warned.

It took only a second for him to open the door, dragging you back into the light.

"Out, out out!"

* * *

You were once told that predators didn't look up. While you weren't sure if that was true or not, the phrase stuck with you, and you made sure to look up more often than usual. During the course of your vertical observations, you noticed something which most people probably wouldn't - that built in cupboards never had proper ceilings. They were usually just painted plywood or MDF, held in place with panel pins, and a good stiff kick would dislodge them.

Well, a stiff kick wasn't an option right now, mostly because it would make too much noise. You used the opportunity to rest, keeping your ears peeled for approaching footsteps. After a few hours, one of the brothers went to bed - most likely Axe, since he didn't come in this room. His snoring was loud, even when softened by walls and clothes. Crooks entered the room twice, pottered around a bit, and left again. Did he not sleep? Insomniac?

Regardless, you couldn't wait forever. When you were sure he wasn't coming back, you silently took the clothes hanging on the rail and put them on the ground. It was difficult to do quietly, but you managed to hoist yourself up onto the rail, using what little space there was between it and the ceiling to turn around so your back was to the pole. It wouldn't hold your weight long, so you got to work, placing your feet firmly on the outer edge of the ceiling and pushing.

Slow and steady, it started to move. Every time it made a noise, the cheap false wood cracking and splintering under the strain, you paused, listening intently. Once you were sure no-one was coming, you carried on. After twenty minutes of careful pushing, you had removed one of the panels, giving you ample room to get up into the attic. Once there, you replaced the panel to hide your escape, pushing the pins back down with the heel of your shoe.

Balancing on the attics beams, you stalked across the floor. There was no insulation, and the wood holding up the roof tiles was wet. All you needed was a weak spot, and you could make a hole to get out. You searched for some time, and it took a cold breeze blowing through the wood to find it, but find it you did. The wood was already broken, so you did everything in your power to make it worse, grabbing the roof tiles on the other side and pulling them through.

The slowness with which you had to do it was the worst part. If you didn't have to be quiet, you could just give it the boot and be out in minutes, but if they found you then all this work was for nothing.

By the time the hole was finally big enough for you to crawl out, the sun was already starting to rise. With a brief look around and a shimmy down the drain pipe, you were on the ground and gone, back into the woods. You picked a different direction this time, following the dirt road that lead away from the house. If you could find a street sign or sign post, you would know where you were and how to get home.

After thirty minutes of power walking, you had yet to find anything. How far into the boonies was this place?

Another ten minutes later, you found a car. Judging by the equipment in the back seat, it belonged to some campers. Could you steal it? You could always ask the police to pick them up on their way back from arresting the cannibals. You were surprised to find the drivers door unlocked, but that wasn't impossible - who would expect their car to be stolen this far into the woods? However, when you went to hotwire it, the wires had literally no reaction. No sparking, no noise from the engine, nothing.

That wasn't right. 

You popped the hood and went to investigate.

Ah. The engine was gone. Of course.

Ripped right out of the block, by the looks of it. Two guesses who could have done that.

You looked at the wheels, taking note of how the grass beneath them was still squashed, but not dead - it couldn't have been here long. If the campers were still alive, they might have a phone. If they weren't, you might still find it... You started tracking the campers obvious trail into the forest. Inexperienced holidaymakers wouldn't go too far into woods like these.

Sure enough, you soon saw their tents, pitched like amateurs, with the fire far too close. By the debris littered around, it seemed to be a family with children.

Where were they now, though? The tents were empty, and it looked like the family had left without even putting on their shoes.

You listened carefully. The sound of breaking sticks and rustling undergrowth sounded clearly in the air. Bathroom time, maybe? Regardless, you needed that phone, so followed the sound.

You immediately regretted that decision.

You found the family. What was left of them.

You also found Axe, sat in the centre of the grisly scene. It hadn't been the snap of sticks you heard, but of bones, as Axe pulled them free of the cadavers and...

ate... them...

... throwing the useless bones away as soon as the flesh had been stripped.

The urge to vomit overwhelmed you, but you pushed it down, covering your mouth with your hands. He still had his back to you, if you backed away quietly you could escape. You did just that, even as the sight before you burned itself into your memory. That tiny arm, disappearing into that brutes mouth. The crack and crunch you would hear in your nightmares for the rest of your life.

You were going to bring the entire militia back with you, wipe these sick freaks off the face of the planet.

When you were far enough away, you took your eyes off Axe and regarded the path ahead. Something in your peripheral moved. Spinning towards it, you found nothing, but you'd be damned if you were going to trust it. If the brute was around, there was a good chance the giant would be too. Their strides were so much longer than yours, and they clearly knew these woods... how could you get away? Up a tree and hide? The giant was so tall, you'd have to climb to dangerous levels to get out of his sight. What if you went low? A hollow in some roots?

You kept your eyes glued on where the movement was. Crooks was tall and skinny enough to hide behind one of these white-barked trees. (He could probably pose as one, your mind unhelpfully provided, if he kept still enough.) You edged away as quietly as possible over the loose dirt and leaves, more aware than you had ever been of the area before you.

So focused were you on that area, you didn't notice the long, pale arm snaking around the tree behind you, silent as the stars, the way its fingers greedily stretched and groped as they reached for you.

The hand grabbed you, pulling you back just a couple of steps.

You didn't hear the snap of the bear trap over your screaming, the metal jaws slicing cleanly through your fragile flesh and crunching, with ruthless efficiency, through your bones, serrated teeth clamping shut.

You were on the ground. Screaming. You had never been in pain like this, your blood white hot as it poured out of the severed stump. You were going into shock.

You were going to die.

Crooks appeared in your eye line, looking down impassively.

"You shouldn't have left the house." he told you "My brothers memory isn't what it used to be. You know what happens when he forgets people? Well, you saw, didn't you?"

The world started going black. Before you could pass out, you saw Crooks lean down. A second later you were jolted back to consciousness, green healing magic stopping your bleeding. The bastard skeleton even slapped your cheeks a few times to rouse you faster.

"I guess we don't need to wait now." he supposed "We can experiment! How fun!"

You could hardly see straight. Although no longer bleeding, you had still lost a lot of blood, and were in traumatic amounts of pain.

You had a crunch. Through your failing sight, you saw the bulking form of Axe, already eating your leg.

Finally, you passed out.

* * *

Never before had being alive sickened you so much.

Alive, and awake, and back in Crooks' room. Lain on his bed, staring at the ceiling you had been creeping along just hours ago. Your whole body was twitching, spasming as it tried to deal with the massive shock of your dismemberment. Your vision blurred as hot, wet tears filled your eyes.

How could you get away now? You really were going to die here.

"Ah, you're awake!"

His happy sounding voice grated on you. You hated him so much, but you were too exhausted to do anything about it.

"Good news, bad news." Crooks said, sitting down on the bed "It's not your flesh. We had your leg for lunch, and aside from being kinda tough, it wasn't any different from any other human. Weirdly, after two escapes and a few days of not bathing, that delicious smell is actually worse, so it's definitely coming from you. What do you suppose it is?"

You didn't care. If he was going to kill you, he should just hurry up and do it. Crooks looked over you when you didn't respond, actually seeming annoyed.

"Hey now, why the tears?" he asked, wiping one from you cheek with his thumb "This means we aren't going to eat you! You should be happy!"

You didn't have the energy to be happy. You didn't have the energy to be anything. You just lay there, breathing laboured, as your brain struggled to process the pain. 

Almost thoughtlessly, Crooks put his thumb in his mouth, licking the tear.

His eye lights flared, orange overtaking his little round sockets, as his whole body froze. He looked at you like a man crazed, finally solving an impossible puzzle. In a flash, he leaned down to your level, licking the moisture from you other cheek. His rough, slimy tongue revolted you, but all you had the strength to do was turn your head away.

"Of course... of course!" he cried, far too close to your face "What was I thinking?!"

With an energetic spring, Crooks was looming over you, blocking your view with his horrible grin.

He placed one of his fingertips on your chin, tracing it down your throat and stopping over your heart. Something inside was pulled, deeper than you imagined existed within you. You fought it desperately, but the pull was stronger, tearing through your being with no regard.

The room went black, the form over you white. The only colour in the room was your pink and green soul, which Crooks took in hand. 

Without warning, he licked it.

You felt his tongue on your entire body. No, deeper than that, the violation shaking you like an earthquake.

"This is it." he sighed almost orgasmicly "This is where the smell is coming from. This the taste I've been craving."

He licked your soul again, lavishly this time, like he was trying to devour it. Your body jolted and spasmed, torn between the physical pain of your leg and the spiritual manipulation of your literal soul.

"Ah!"

His eye lights snapped to you the moment the noise escaped your throat. A second later, he smiled, an awful crooked thing, as he licked your soul again. He drew it out this time, slow and steady, gaze fixed on you. The gentle scrape of his broken teeth only make you shake harder, sinking his defilement in further.

"I'm glad we didn't hurt you too badly." he said "You look so pretty like this."

Lick.

"So pretty."

Lick.

"Don't worry, we'll keep you alive. Without your soul, we'll go hungry again. Can't have that."

A long, slow, rapacious lick.

There was a loud bang downstairs, startling Crooks so much that he squeezed your soul. Your vision went white as you passed out.

* * *

The air was fresh and clear, wafting through the open window, carrying the bright white light of morning. The bed was soft and smelled clean, like fresh cotton.

It was the dull throb of your leg that told you that horror hadn't just been a dream. A dull throb was considerably better than the blinding pain of before, but it only raised questions in your exhausted mind.

When you found the strength, you opened your eyes.

Edge was the first thing you saw, sat on a chair beside your bed, fast asleep. There were dark circles under his eyes, his bones looking almost yellow.

Had he been worried about you? Of course he had, worrying was what he did. He probably came looking for you when you didn't answer your phone.

You were in a bedroom. It wasn't one you recognised, but it wasn't that house in the woods, and right now that was good enough. With utmost trepidation, you peeled the bed sheets back to survey the damage.

Your leg was gone. There was no getting around that. Now, however, it was wrapped in clean white bandages, and the reduced pain suggested you had been medicated.

The door opened quietly, the familiar round head of Red poking on. On seeing you awake, he let out an almighty sigh, like he'd been holding in a breath for weeks, and entered the room proper.

"ya sure know how to find the worst people." he said quietly "but don't worry, yer safe now."

You tried to speak, but nothing came out, just huffing, exhausted breaths. Red seemed to understand, walking over and wrapping his arms around you.

"me and paps took care of those freaks, they ain't gonna bother ya again." he cooed, squeezing you a little when you desperately gripped his arm, trying to ground yourself "we bought ya to the family home in the country. it's a real nice place to recover, all quiet and pretty. yer gonna love the lake."

You could barely breathe, so overwhelmed with emotion were you. Red just held you, talking quietly so not to wake his brother.

"don't worry, cupcake." he said "i'm gonna take great care of ya." 


	16. What if Reckless Went Away for a While?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to think that any of the BB/Reckless chapters should probably just be canon...

It had been a long winter. BB had caught something nasty in October, and had been hospitalised right up to the end of December. Even after pulling through, he remained bed ridden for a few months, not able to go back to work.

Papyrus didn't want to be so selfish as to think his winter had been harder, since on top of working three jobs to pay the bills, he had his seriously sick brothers well-being at the back of his mind every second of every day. He hadn't had to face this alone in quite some time, and he didn't care for it one bit. Sure, he had Hapsta, but there was only so much the ghost could do to help out.

Dealing with you could be stressful, but dealing with everything else without you was worse. Who would have thought someone nicknamed 'Reckless' would exude such an air of being in control?

Papyrus wasn't sure what you did for a living, but some big project had taken you out of the country for a few months, just before his brother got ill. BB had begged him not to tell you about his illness, that you had been so excited about your project and how good it would be for your career. He agreed at the beginning, before they knew how serious it was going to be, and by then it was too late to admit they were lying.

You would definitely drop everything and come back if you found out BB was hospitalised. Papyrus didn't want to be so selfish as to ask you to drop your important project to come home to help him out.

Papyrus didn't want to be selfish. Mostly he wanted to sleep.

It had been a long winter, and he was very, very tired.

Stopping at the front gate, he took the post from the box and leafed through. Bill, bill, bill, letter for Sans. At least it wasn't four bills.

When the older brother opened the front door, he wasn't at all happy to find BB on his feet - with great and obvious difficulty - standing in front of the stove.

"sans, what are you doing?" he asked.

The younger brothers reactions were slow, his eye lights still far dimmer than Papyrus was happy with, as he turned to face him, hanging onto the counter for support.

"Welcome home, Papy!" he greeted, trying his hardest to be chipper "I made you dinner, but..."

The little skel let out a massive sigh, moving aside to reveal a can of soup, its contents emptied into a saucepan.

"It's nothing special." BB said, almost as if apologising.

Considering the state of BB's 'special' cooking, Papyrus was more than happy with canned soup. They still had some nice bread left to bulk it out.

"you didn't have to do that, bro." he assured, coming into the kitchen and handing him his letter.

Cream of chicken soup. It must not have been on the stove long, since it was boiling away pleasantly rather than scalding the sides.

"You work so hard, I wanted to do something nice for you." BB explained "I don't really have the energy to keep house at the moment, but I can do this."

Unfortunately, it showed. Papyrus didn't have his brothers cleaning skills, if he ever had the energy after a triple shift, and the house was suffering for it. Once BB was back on his feet, he'd be more than happy to take care of it. The older brother felt pretty selfish for leaving it, but something had to give.

Papyrus shuffled BB to the kitchen table so he could read his letter, and finished up the soup himself. Just as he was putting the empty saucepan in the sink, BB let out an almighty gasp, causing his brother to spin around in alarm. The smaller skel was on his feet, looking horrified, eye lights bright and shocked.

"sans?" 

"One week..." BB said, almost to himself, before turning to his brother "One week! Reckless will be home in a week!"

Thank fuck.

"is that all?" Papyrus sighed, going back to collect his soup and move to the table "don't worry me like that."

"Papy!" BB whined "This is serious!"

"why?" he asked "because you have to explain that you were lying for months?"

"No!" he defended "... Well, yes, but that's not the issue!"

"then what is?"

BB just let out a frustrated squeal, stepping away from the table and throwing his arms up.

"Just look how much weight I've put on!" he whined "I can't lose all this in a week!"

BB had always been on the chubby side, but a winter of bed rest had really piled those pounds on - none of his outside clothes fit him anymore, and his sky blue ecto-belly was permanently peaking out from under his p.j.'s. He was still adorable, though - but then, Papyrus would think that.

"reckless won't care." he knew.

"I care!" BB cried "I don't want Reckless to see me like this! I need to shift this weight! I have to clean the house! I need to weed the garden and do the laundry and-!"

Like water draining from a sink, all the energy suddenly left his brother, eye lights dimming again as he sighed deeply, suddenly looking very tired.

"Tomorrow." he sighed again "I'll get a good nights sleep and start tomorrow."

"sounds like a plan." Papyrus dismissed, using his blue magic to nudge his brother into sitting down before he fell down "just don't overdo it, you don't want to end up back in hospital."

"Yeah... yeah, you're right."

Sitting properly, BB immediately crossed his arms on the table and put his head down on them. Just that one moment of excitement had exhausted him completely.

"So, how was your day?"

* * *

When Papyrus dragged himself up from not-enough sleep to go to yet-more work, BB was already up, sat the kitchen table in workout gear that was now much to small for him.

"you're serious about this?" he said instead of 'good morning'.

"I've looked online!" BB announced "For a skeleton of my height and age, I need to lose two and a half stone to be within the healthy BMI!...Ugh, when did I get so fat?"

"you're not fat, sans."

"Shut up, yes I am. I'm not looking for compliments."

"i regret nothing."

"How are you always so skinny?" BB sighed "You eat like crap, it's not fair."

"give yourself a break." Papyrus urged "your body's just stocking up on magic to help you get better."

"Reckless is gonna show up looking all gorgeous after being away all winter, and I'm gonna be there looking like crap." he continued to lament "How can I lose two stone in a week?"

"you can't." Papyrus snapped, starting to get a little worried about what his brother might do when he went to work.

"Well, I have to try." BB sighed, getting up from the table with some difficulty "I think I still have some workout tapes left from my last diet."

The little skel almost wobbled, he was so unsteady on his still-recovering feet. Papyrus was certain he couldn't leave him alone today, but he couldn't skip work either. Would anyone even be available to come over on such short notice? Which of his cousins was unemployed, but also responsible enough not to let BB do whatever he wanted? A few names came to mind, and Papyrus readied himself for an earful for calling them so early as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

* * *

When Papyrus got home that day, Rus was sat on his sofa with his boots up on the coffee table, smoking a cigarette. He also had BB pinned down on the sofa with his blue magic, where he sulked as hard as he could. 

"you could have been more gentle." Papyrus criticised.

"worked, didn't it?" Rus answered "you didn't come home to a pile of dust and lycra."

"I don't need a babysitter." BB huffed.

"provably incorrect." Rus sighed as he stood, stretching his shoulders "gotta get home and feed the dogs. have fun with bb's patented pouty face, stretch."

With no further ceremony, he shortcut away, his blue magic disappearing from BB's soul. His little brother immediately turned his back on him, crossing his arms and sulking further. Papyrus just sighed, flopping down on the sofa in the space Rus had vacated. After a moment, his little brother lent against him.

"I still love you, I'm just mad." he said.

"i know." Papyrus assured, putting an arm around him, but otherwise letting him be mad.

* * *

The second day, he returned to find Creampuff decked out in an apron and bandanna, marigolds covering his hands. The place was a lot cleaner than it had been when he left that morning, and for his services Papyrus had to accept a tongue lashing from his youngest cousin about letting the house get so bad.

"Yeah, BB helped me clean for about an hour." he said when asked "Then he got too tired and went to bed. I couldn't get him to eat anything, though, which really isn't good in his condition."

"i'll take care of it." Papyrus assured "thanks for your help."

"Don't thank me yet." Creampuff said seriously "I'm not going home until the laundry's finished. I'm not even going to ask what half these stains are, and I don't know what that is on the ceiling, but it's not coming off. And when was the last time you scrubbed the grout in the bathroom?"

Papyrus just tuned him out as he went to make soft tacos, hoping to get BB to eat at least something.

* * *

The next day, Papyrus came home to find Edge in his living room. He was on his feet, holding BB like an upset toddler as the smaller skel sobbed. Even before smelling and seeing the puddle on the floor, Papyrus could guess his brother had been sick.

"I thought a little exercise would help him feel better." Edge apologised as he rubbed BB's back "I didn't realise how bad he still was."

"it's not your fault." Papyrus sighed "my brother refuses to acknowledge his limits."

"Shut up!" BB sobbed "I wasn't even trying! I can do way better than that!"

"let's go run a bath, bro." he urged, taking him from Edge "you'll feel better."

Edge just rubbed the back of his head guiltily, not sure what to do, as Papyrus took BB upstairs.

* * *

The day after was much less eventful, which was lucky considering Comic was watching him.

"he just slept all day." he told him, letting out a wide yawn himself "i think edge wore him out."

"thanks anyway." Papyrus told him, sharing a fist-bump before he shortcut away.

The older brother went upstairs to check on him before starting dinner. BB was in bed, and the lights were off, but he wasn't asleep, the slight glow from his eye lights giving him away. Papyrus went over and sat on the bed beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"hey bro." he greeted "how you feeling?"

BB didn't answer right away. He must be having a dark day.

"I'm sorry." he said eventually.

"for what?"

"Being a burden." he elaborated "You'd be able to do so much if not for me."

"don't be silly, you're not a burden." Papyrus said as easily as breathing "and even if you were, i wouldn't mind."

Even the tears that formed in his eyes weren't as bright as they should have been. He must have used sleeping all day as an excuse not to eat.

"How can I let Reckless see me like this?" he sobbed.

"reckless? sans, reckless will just be happy to see you at all." Papyrus pointed out "You think your best friend in the whole world will care that you put on weight, or that you've been in the hospital for months?"

BB knew what the answer was, but he was too lost in his dark thoughts to admit it. Papyrus let it go for now, thinking about what simple meal he could make that his brother wouldn't immediately throw up again.

* * *

It was finally the end of the work week. Papyrus was far too tired for overtime, but by his calculations he could make up the cost by not eating lunch at all next week.

When he got home, his garden had been completely transformed. Three little skeletons were crowded around a bucket, looking at the worms and bugs within, while Axe finished throwing the weeds into the compost bin.

"you didn't have to do that." Papyrus told him, only able to guess how long it must have taken him.

"kept the kids busy." he shrugged "the chickens eat all our bugs, so the kids are fascinated by them."

They certainly seemed to be, even the barely-walking youngest rapt with attention. Inside, Papyrus found Sugar making dinner, resorting to kneeling to stop his head hitting the ceiling.

"Welcome home, cousin!" he greeted "How was work?"

"s'okay. where's my bro?"

"My darling took him down the salon for a file and polish." he explained "We thought it might help him feel better."

Sugars human was responsible enough that Papyrus was okay with this. He startled a little when his large cousin ran a phalange over the bags under his eyes. 

"You look exhausted." he mentioned "Have you been sleeping?"

"not well." he admitted "but hey, thanks for coming to help out, i know how busy you are."

"I'm surprised you don't ask for help more." Sugar said "I know better than anyone how difficult it can be to take care of a disabled brother."

"you don't ask for help."

"I already have help."

"well, i can normally count on reckless." Papyrus admitted, letting a weary sigh escape him "i never realised how much slack they picked up around here."

"I bet you'll be happier to see them than BB is." Sugar joked "Will you lay the table? This is just about done."

* * *

BB fiddled with the hem of his shirt, pulling it down self consciously. Sugars human had done him right, even treating him to a new outfit to go with his polished bones so his belly wasn't poking out. The drive to the airport had been quiet, his brother no doubt still worrying what you would think of his weight gain. Papyrus still knew you wouldn't care, but he was sure BB knew that too, and was probably more worried about what you would say when you realised the two of them had lied about him being so sick.

They sat in a cafe until your flight was called, when BB insisted on standing.

"Oh, all their hair is gone!" BB noted as soon as you appeared through the arrivals doors "It looks good!"

You zeroed in on his voice immediately, head snapping to where they were stood. You paused as you took in their appearance, no doubt picking up every little thing the way you always do, before smiling tiredly and walking over.

"well, you look like shit." Papyrus joked, trying to deflect for the moment "long flight?"

"Screaming child on flight one, twelve hour layover, drunk ass B.O. king on flight two." you confirmed, dropping everything you held with a noisy clatter and throwing your arms around BB's shoulders "Oh my god, _finally_." 

"Miss me, did you?" BB laughed as he hugged you back.

"So much." you didn't even deny.

"let's get going." Papyrus suggested, picking up your discarded bags "long drive ahead."

* * *

As expected, you didn't mention BB's weight gain even once. Even when the three of you sat in an exhausted heap on the sofa eating pizza, BB taking up more room than he usually would on your lap, you didn't bring it up. It wasn't until BB had gone to bed that you rounded on Papyrus, giving him a thoroughly unimpressed look.

"How bad was it?" you demanded.

Papyrus thought about lying. He wasn't sure what story his brother had concocted yet.

"pretty bad." he admitted anyway "he was in hospital for a while. doctors say he won't be back at work for a few months still."

"Why didn't you call me?" you asked "I would have come back!"

"exactly why. your work was-"

"It's just work!" you snapped, making him flinch "Work is never going to be more important than you guys! I would have dropped that shit in a hot second if you told me BB was in the hospital!"

"hey, it wasn't my idea." Papyrus tried to defend "you know how proud sans can be."

"You..."

You let out an aggravated sigh, closing your eyes a moment. You'd had a very long journey, only to come home to this drama.

"I'm so mad right now." you admitted "And I want to be even madder, but... well, you both look like shit, and considering you're fucking skeletons that's saying something. How can I be mad when you're obviously suffering?"

"sorry, dude."

Silence fell, heavy with exhaustion from both parties. 

"you're home now, though." Papyrus sighed "how long are you staying with us?"

"I was gonna stay until I could find a new place, but now I'm thinking I should just move in." you answered.

"sounds good. we'll have to move the stuff out of the storage room, but that can wait until the jetlag dies down."

You finally opened your eyes, looking at him in concern.

"I was joking." you said.

"i wasn't."

You just kept giving him that look. 

"you never realise what you have until it's gone." he elaborated "since sans got sick, i could find someone to watch him maybe a handful of times. people have their own lives, you know? we still had bills, so i couldn't stop working or things would be even worse. you say you wanna move in, i say yes fucking please. you're good for my bro, and what's good for him is good for me, y'know?"

"You must be even tireder than you look." you joked.

"maybe... heh, sans was so worried what you's say about all the weight he put on."

"He puts on weight every winter." you dismissed "I honestly had to stop myself running over and squishing him at the airport, you know?"

"he is very squishable." Papyrus agreed.

"Hey."

"hm?"

"Don't lie to me like this again. I mean it - you pull this shit again and I won't be your white knight."

"you probably would." Papyrus supposed "but i ain't gonna risk it. just don't be too harsh on sans when you tell him off?"

"I promise nothing."

With more effort than was reasonable, Papyrus hauled himself off the sofa, excusing himself to go take a nap.

* * *

This was a hell of a welcome home. You had a feeling something was off when you suddenly didn't hear from BB for a few weeks, despite how clingy he was. You had been too busy with work at the time, your time zones never reasonably matching, to call and see what the issue was. When you finally did hear from them, you could just tell it was more subdued than usual. It was nothing overt that set your alarms off, just the punctuation they used and the shorter words and the times of day they sent their messages and... You spent a long time convincing yourself it was your imagination, that they were probably just fine and you were reading too much into it. 

You should have trusted your instincts, that little nagging voice at the back of your head. It had at least convinced you out of extending your contract overseas, in spite of your employers relentless begging, all the perks and pay increases they had thrown at your feet. You had missed your best buddy and his grumpy bro far too much, and some things were more important than money. You should have come home sooner.

Both of them had looked absolutely terrible. BB was sweating bullets, hardly keeping himself upright as he waited for you at the airport. His dim eyelights confirmed all your paranoia the second you saw him, and Stretch wasn't looking much better - thin even for him, the bags under his eyes so dark black they looked almost like burns. Sure, you'd been working so hard these past few months that you'd lost some weight and gotten a little haggard yourself, but it was nothing compared to these two.

Unable to stay awake any longer, you shuffled up the stairs to BB's room, where the foldout bed was already made up for you. Had he seriously been worried about the weight he put on? He'd been bigger when you met him, and he was always a chubster - it was just how he was built.

You were in bed all of thirty seconds before BB shuffled off his bed to join you. If he was awake, you were surprised he waited that long.

"I missed you." the little skeleton told him.

"I missed you too." you answered, putting your arm around his shoulders.

"Don't ever leave me again."

"You knew I was coming back."

"I know. Didn't hurt any less."

"We'll talk about pain when you've had your punishment for lying to me."

"I'll take anything you can dish out." BB swore, squeezing you "Just stay with me."

"That's not a healthy mentality, B."

"Don't care. You're locked in now."

You just stayed quiet. After a few minutes, you both fell asleep.

* * *

Papyrus wasn't sure what he was going to come home to. His brother wrapped up in blankets like a skeleton burrito, watching TV on the sofa was probably the best option.

"I'd get up to greet you, but I can't move." BB apologised.

"that's okay." Papyrus promised "where's reckless?"

"Kitchen." your voice called from the other room.

Papyrus wondered over. The windows were completely streamed up, the air rich with the smell of boiling vegetables and roast chicken.

"this looks... safe." he thought.

"Low calorie, high vitamin, high protein." you told him "Good for poorly monsters. We'll save the interesting stuff for later, when you're both healthy enough for it."

"me? i'm not sick."

You just levelled him a glare, putting down the gravy you were making and stepping up to him. Papyrus squealed when you grabbed him around the middle and threw him over your shoulder.

"One hand, Stretch." you pointed out, using your free one to smack the back of his legs "And you're how much taller than me?"

Papyrus was honestly shocked. Yes, he had lost a little weight, and you were pretty strong, but for you to lift him with one hand? Had he really gotten that bad?

You went to put him down, but Papyrus grabbed you before you could move away, pulling you into a tight hug. He was so tired, your smell alone was deeply comforting, and he found himself nuzzling into you.

"...Are you crying?" you asked quietly.

"... maybe..."

"Idiot." you sighed softly, returning his hug "You know it's okay to be selfish every now and then, right? Take a day off. Sleep in. Actually_ call me_ when you need help."

Papyrus mumbled something into your shoulder, but even he wasn't sure what.

"Go take a nap." you ordered "This won't be ready for a little while anyway."

Papyrus held you a moment more before letting go, wiping his eyes on his sleeve, and shuffled back out the kitchen.

* * *

When dinner was ready, you went to free BB from his cocoon and wake Stretch up, only to find them both laid out on the sofa, fast sleep. You leaned against the doorframe to the kitchen, just watching them for a moment.

BB was right.

You were definitely locked in.


End file.
